Postcards from Paradise
by esdiferente
Summary: Follow up to 'The Avalanche Has Already Started' and 'Moving in, Moving On' but could be a standalone and follows our girls through their little trip around the world via letters, postcards and e-mails to their friends and family.
1. Beaches and Blondes

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer –** I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent. Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame)

**Premise – **Follow up to 'The Avalanche Has Already Started' and follows our girls through their little trip around the world via letters, postcards and e-mails to their friends and family.

**Rating –** M+ probably

**Warnings –** Hey as usual it's still set in the Skins universe so there are might well be adult themes and acts as well as bad language from the start and throughout. If you're offended by these then don't read and as before it's the last time I'll write this, hopefully this time I won't need it.

**Authors Note – **So here I am again, the third in the Dragons saga, that's the third of six if anyone's interested, or indeed still interested by the time I get around to the last one. I wasn't going to write this for a week or so, but CP is fighting me and I needed to clear my block and as this was probably blocking me here we are.

Dunno how this one will work, but I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. More soon (-:

**Chapter One – Beaches and Blondes**

_Emily_

Goa; the jewel in the crown as far as I was concerned. Beautiful place, beautiful people. I absolutely love it here.

Naomi and I had arrived a bit later than I'd thought we would; I'd totally failed to take into account the transfer flight and all the hanging around we'd have to do in Mumbai before we took the Kingfisher Airways flight to Goa. Still it wasn't a big deal; it wasn't like we had a timetable to keep or anything. We'd hung around in the noisy airport until our flight was called and headed aboard; I couldn't help but grin to myself as Naomi lead the way like the seasoned expert she'd become after her one and only flight.

But what a flight it was, being upgraded was a huge surprise and we'd made the most of it; blankets, steward service and everything and I mean everything was free. It had been a long flight, but it had flashed by as we sat and talked and curled up together and slept. We'd drunk more champagne and eaten more snacks, a wonderful main meal served on proper plates with cutlery and everything. We'd even managed to watch a movie as we'd flown, the stewards bringing around headphones for us to plug in.

We'd even managed a quick friendly fight about what movie to watch, Naomi wanting an action movie, me wanting something dramatic. We eventually compromised on a rom-com, the thought that we could have watched whatever we wanted on our own little screens not even entering our heads. We were doing this trip together; everything together.

Well apart from this, because I'm currently sat alone on the beach as the sun begins to set. I've got a pad of paper and a pen that I've nicked from our hotel room and I'm planning to write Katie a letter. I'd promised everyone that we'd stay in touch; jokingly promised to write them all 'Postcards from Paradise' and after three days of experiences I had to write some of them down and share them with my sister. I wanted her to know just how well everything was going, how happy I was and how much I was missing her.

So as I scrunched my toes into the flawless white sand I picked up my pen, shook out my hair and wrote.

o+o+o

_Katie_

I heard a knock at the door as I stood in the kitchen making lunch. Effy was lounging on the sofa looking distinctly pale and we were both nursing massive hangovers.

It had been an epic night.

After we'd moved in we'd spent a couple of nights just lounging around our home, it was perfect, fucking perfect. All the moping around we'd done had ended when Effy came into my room that first night, and she'd not left since; much to my relief.

So once we'd moved her stuff into our room we spent a couple of cosy, 'homey' nights doing nothing but eating, sleeping and making love. Finally though we'd decided that enough was enough and we were going to hit the town. After all we're still young, too young to be as sad as my sister and her fucking girlfriend were after that Love Ball; we never really saw them much once Gina left. Emily was always round at Naomi's and they rarely, if ever, wanted to come out clubbing. We are _so_ not going to end up like that!

So Eff and I got out our glad rags and painted the town red, well if not red then at least a pretty deep crimson. We drank bottles of beer, downed shots and shouted and danced until our feet were sore. We'd got a few funny looks from people we knew from college but nothing serious and with a load of booze inside us we laughed it off. I hadn't even felt the need to run over and punch one snotty cow from Roundview when we overheard her making a comment about "twin queers".

Effy had though, and it took all my persuading skills to drag her away. It wasn't a side of my girlfriend I'd seen before, and it wasn't one I wanted to see again. People think I'm fierce; I'm nothing on a pissed off Elizabeth Stonem.

We'd done everything that night, well everything apart from drugs that is. I used to enjoy taking an 'E' now and again, but Effy really shouldn't do drugs anymore and when I'm with her I don't feel the need. I was happy just to party with her and enjoy myself without the aid of narcotics. Eventually though we both ran out of steam and headed back to the flat to crash out and enjoy the fact that there was no-one to sit on the sofa and demand to know where we'd been all night.

"Eff babe, could you get the door please?" I asked the partly comatose form on the sofa. She groaned in response and waved an arm helplessly.

"Kay, I'm dying here, do you think if I just stayed here they'd go away?"

There was a second, louder, knock at the door to answer her question and with another groan she dragged herself from the sofa and into the hallway.

'_Domestic bliss eh?'_

We'd been in the flat for just under a week now and I don't think I've been happier. I don't even mind doing the cooking and the cleaning, Effy's whiteboard having been transformed into our domestic's rota. In fact, as I stand here, stirring the soup I've made, I find that I actually am enjoying it. I like doing things for us, it's nice; and yes, I am sad.

"Katie, post...and a visitor."

I turned down the heat under the soup to a low simmer and ran my hands through my hair, we weren't expecting visitors and I'm not really prepared for them. I'm not wearing makeup today and I'm dressed in shorts and a T-Shirt; frankly I look a fright. It's too late to worry, however, as Effy wanders back into the living room followed by Gina.

"Hello Katherine I thought I'd come to see how you both are and drop off some mail that's come for you. I found this hanging out of the letterbox as well." She said holding up a wide brown envelope. "I never did think much of the postman here, bone idle he is."

"Better than the one at yours," Effy piped in, "From what Emily and Naomi said he's a bit of a pervert.

"Gwyn? He's a lovely boy," she said with a smile, "he comes in for a cup of tea most mornings actually." She grinned at Effy, "But I think he is a bit of a pervert Elizabeth dear, you're right there; he seemed most upset you'd all moved out."

"Can I get you a drink or something Gina?" I asked doing my best hostess impression and trying to change the subject.

"Not for me love, I'm not stopping. I just thought I'd make sure you were ok whilst I dropped this off, that's all. Mr Grumpy is outside in the car. We're going looking for a new one, I've told him now we're both working again we need a proper vehicle not a rusting death trap. If he thinks he's driving me to Ireland in that heap he's got another thing coming."

We chatted for a little while longer before she made her excuses and headed off with Kieran leaving us in peace. Effy held up the small white envelope she'd brought with her and waved it at me across the room.

"I think this is from Emily Kay," she said with a smile, "It's addressed to you. Want me to look after lunch while you read it?"

I nodded and snatched the letter out of her hand, ignoring her laughter as I ripped it open. I slumped back onto the sofa and started reading.

_Hi Katie,_

_I know it's a bit soon to be writing, but we've been away for three days now and if I don't share this with someone I'm going to explode. Goa is better than I ever expected it to be and I don't just mean the place. The experience is out of this world and I'm so happy I can't begin to tell you._

_The flight was amazing; first class is definitely the way to travel. We had free food, free drinks, movies everything really. Well everything but the mile high club, you _do_ know I was kidding about doing that don't you? I'm really not that kind of a girl._

_We took one of those tuk-tuk's from the airport, Kay they are an experience; talk about scary. They've got three wheels and I'm sure our driver had a death wish. We were holding on to anything we could just to stop ourselves being thrown out of the thing. _

_Transportation over here is interesting, getting anywhere is eventful. I'm beginning to think that even Effy's driving isn't that bad after experiencing this. _

_The hotel we're staying in is great, it's a little basic but it's one of those all inclusive deal things so we're not spending a fortune which is just as well. Even when we've gone walking they've given us hampers of food and water to take away with us and the staff are awesome. Last night we ate out, Naomi wanted to go into the nearest village and try a restaurant an Australian couple we met recommended to us. I'd eaten so much I really couldn't move and that was a shame because we're not far from the beach and it is really, really beautiful. The first night we got here Naomi and I went walking along Miramar beach; we just walked together for hours up the beach and back again. We saw a pod of dolphins playing in the sea and you wouldn't believe it but the sunsets here are like a painting. It's almost a cliché but I've never seen a sky so golden, so orange and so beautiful. We've stood for ages just watching the sun set, just like we did when you took us to the balloon festival and we watched it rise._

_Every night since then we've took a walk along the beach, well apart from last night when we hung around the pool, me feeling full and jealous of Naomi as she knocked back some local cocktails from the bar. But at some point every day we've been on the beach, we can't seem to stay away from it; in fact I'm writing this letter on the beach right now, I've got a moment on my own and I'm sat on a towel, pad in my hand and my toes in the sand. _

_It's a hard life isn't it?_

_There's probably going to be sand in this letter it's so fine. It's been getting everywhere and it's making the whole 'making love on the beach' thing a bit uncomfortable, but you probably didn't want to know that. Thank heavens you reminded us to bring our favourite blanket; I don't know what we would have done without it._

_So basically, it's really beautiful here; and I'm really, really happy. Naoms is like a different woman, everything about her has changed since we left; she seems happier, calmer and more relaxed in herself. I don't think either of us has stopped smiling for three days and it's great. I know you said you would worry about us, but you can stop now. Things are going great; I hope they are for you as well. I hope the move went ok, I was going to call from the hotel and see how you were but I don't have your new home number, (they won't let me call mobiles...weird), and I've just realised I don't have your new address either...shit, I'm going to have to send this via Gina...I've got my fingers crossed it makes it to you. Do me a favour when you get this and send me an e-mail with your new details on it, there's a terminal somewhere in the hotel we can use. I've no idea where it is but I'm sure I'll be able to find it._

_Anyway, I hope you and Effy are ok; believe it or not Naomi and I were taking about you two over dinner tonight, because I'm sure that today is the day you're moving in together, but 'not-together'. _

_We have a bet on how long that will last by the way, I reckoned on you guys moving in properly somewhere in the second week, Naomi reckons it'll be sooner. There's an expensive meal riding on this so I hope you won't let me down Sis...no pressure or anything (-:_

_I hope you made the most of our present, it wasn't much I know but we didn't have a lot of time that morning; you did kind of spring it on us you know. I promise if I see something nice on our travels I'll pop it into my bag and bring you a proper housewarming gift when we get back._

_It feels strange to be writing to you Kay; normally I'd just pick up the phone if I wanted a chat, or just find you and talk to you. I'm actually finding this quite hard as you can probably tell from my ramblings. I don't really know what to say to be honest, but I wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten you, I miss you and I'm so sorry that we won't be together on our birthday. I promise you that I'll call from wherever we are. Naomi's telling me we're in a different hotel for that period of our stay. Something about not being able to book this place for the full time we're here; but wherever we are I'll find a phone and I'll call you._

_Eighteen eh, and both out in the world. Who'd have thought it?_

_I love you Katie, I miss you. I hope everything is all right and I hope to hear from you soon, (HINT!)_

_Emsy_

_PS. Pass on my love to Effy as well. I have no doubt she's not far from you._

"You ok Kay?" I heard Effy say as she poured the warmed soup into two bowls.

I wondered for a second why she was asking but then I realised I'd been crying, not bawling my heart out, but I'd definitely had tears running down my cheeks as I'd read her letter. Eff put two plates on top of the bowls to cover them and came over to give me a hug.

"Missing her?"

"Yeah, she's good though. Sends her love, wants me to e-mail her the details of this place, and our landline number so she can call me."

"Well you can do that later can't you babe?" she said wiping away my tears with her sleeve. "You've got another letter there and it looks important."

I glanced down at the large letter, the address was covered with the post office re-direct I'd set up, changing my post office box to send my mail here. It was marked with the logo of the University of the West of England. I hoped that it contained good news.

Nervously I put down Emily's letter and picked up mine, handling it carefully as if it contained a bomb. Effy was watching me carefully from where she had knelt in front of me; I guess waiting to see if we would be celebrating or she'd have to comfort me. I tore open the envelope and pulled out a pile of papers my eyes quickly flicked to the covering page and I felt relief and elation flood through my body as I saw the worlds I'd wanted to read.

"Good news then babe?" Eff said, obviously doing her mind reading trick again. I didn't care, I looked up at her with the biggest, cheesiest grin I'd ever had on my face and wrapped her in the biggest Fitch-hug I'd ever given.

"I got _in_ Eff, I'm going to university!"

o+o+o

_Emily_

I put my pad down on the towel next to me and sat back soaking up the last rays of the sun, it was weird but I actually felt better after writing everything down. I'd not even posted my letter to Katie yet but it felt like we'd actually spoken already. I'd managed to get all the things that were building up inside me out into the open and I felt all the better for it.

Actually, that's not quite right, I'd managed to get them all out to someone else; I'd explained my feelings to my sister thousands of miles away and probably days in the future when she'll get this letter. I'd already expressed these feelings to Naomi, talked them all through as we walked hand in hand on the sundrenched beach, kicking the sand with our feet because we could and because we wanted to do so.

I'd told her over and over again how much I love her, and how much I love the new relaxed her, as we lay together on that same beach during the long tranquil nights, covered only in a blanket of stars.

I'd poured my heart out to Naomi and listened as she did the same to me, as we shared our experiences and discussed the best, and worst, bits of the day; laughing and joking as we did so. We started a new ritual on that beach, promising to spend time together at the end of the day just talking. No matter where we were or how far apart we made promises to make the time to talk together.

In all honesty, it's my favourite time of the day.

I sat back on my beach towel and watched the sun as it began to slink down onto the horizon. As it slowly slipped away I'm treated by a sight more beautiful, more stunning than anything else nature has thrown my way. As I stare out into the water my blonde haired goddess steps out of the surf and runs her hands through her soaking wet hair. My lips go dry at the sight of her, as they've done every time I've seen her do this very same thing. Clad in only a small bikini, blue to match her eyes, she walks up the beach to where I'm sat shaking off the water as she does so.

I can't help it, every time I see her doing it I hear the theme from James Bond going through my head. But seriously, Ursula Andress has nothing on her, in the water or out of it.

"You alright Ems?" she asks as she finally gets in earshot, smiling as she notices me watching her.

"Fine now babe; you were gone a while."

"Yeah, got swept down the beach a bit, had to swim hard to get back up here. Waters lovely though, you should try a dip."

"Maybe later babe, I'm still full from lunch, don't think I should risk it."

She laughed at me, as well she might because lunch was hours ago and we hadn't eaten much. We'd got a simple picnic from the hotel staff and had walked to spend the day here at the quiet end of the beach.

"Any water left babe?" she asked as she rummaged through the bag we'd brought before pulling out a towel and rubbing herself down. I passed her the remnants of the last bottle we'd brought with us and gratefully she took a long drink, rivulets of water running down from her lips to drip from her chin into her cleavage. As I follow the path of one particularly large drip as it runs over the smooth curve of her left breast she starts suddenly, puts down the bottle and picks up the towel again removing the traces of her carelessness.

"Shit, fucking hell could I be any more fucking clumsy? Seriously it's just as well I hadn't got fucking dressed. I can't believe I can't drink from a fucking bottle without spilling the fucking thing."

"Aw Naoms," I smirked, grabbing her hand and pulling her down to the rug before she wound herself up any more. "If you'd wanted that clearing off I'd have done it for you."

She blushed and then shivered as I leaned forward and ran my tongue over the path of the last droplet, stopping only as I reached the thin fabric.

"Ems, someone might be looking."

"Yeah they might," I answered; remembering where she'd said it before, "your body is kind of special you know? Who'd be able to blame them if they were looking? I was."

She laughed at me and pulled me up into a kiss; a long, slow, sensuous kiss. A kiss filled with love and with promise. A kiss seasoned by the salt from the sea.

"What you been doing hun?" she asked as finally we broke apart and she pulled her light beach shirt over her bikini. "Anything interesting?"

"Writing to Katie; I've been telling her everything that we've done so far."

"Everything?" she smirked, "absolutely everything?"

"No! Well sort of, I did mention the sand getting everywhere." I answered sheepishly.

"You didn't tell her about the plane did you?"

"I told her about the drinks and the food." I replied quickly, not quite able to meet her eyes. "I even mentioned the movie."

"I didn't mean that."

"I know what you meant Naomi; and no, I didn't mention that at all, quite the opposite in fact."

"Good," she said easing me back onto the rug and pressing her lips to mine once more, her hand slowly stroking my thigh.

"Because I think, at eighteen years of age Emily Fitch, it's time you had some secrets from your sister."

I think she's right.

.

.

.

**A/N -** Well? Disappointed? Not what you expected? Ah well I liked it (-:


	2. In Sickness and in Goa

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer –** I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent. Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame)

**Authors Note **– Aw thanks for the kind words guys, I wasn't sure how the whole postcards thing was going to work, but I've been firmly told now that it means write their trip as normal, just drop the communications in there appropriately. I think chapters will vary a little but we'll just see how the mood, (and my plan) yes guys, six parts, this is the third. The later three keep invading my thoughts at the moment so I thought if I mentioned them they might leave me alone..no such luck!

Oh and Lumagoo1015, babe I'm old, but I'm not that old...well not quite (-: Halle Berry does nothing for me, that's all, now that image of Jessica Alba...anyway, moving on; here's chapter two for you all. [waves at TR, welcome aboard mate glad you could bend those rules again (-; ]

**Chapter 2 – ****In Sickness and in Goa**

_Emily_

Naomi is making me sick, I mean physically sick.

It's not her fault I know, we'd eaten at the hotel last night and for some strange reason she'd ordered a fish curry. She doesn't normally eat curries, that's more my territory but I ordered the vegetable curry and she ordered the fish. I can only assume that the fish was bad, I know she's not allergic because we've eaten fish and prawns and all sorts like that before.

I assume that the fish was bad because she's been in the bathroom, off and on, for the last hour since we got back; puking until her insides must be raw. I've been hovering over her and holding her hair out her face all that time and her near constant vomiting is making me retch.

I guess I'd make a lousy nurse.

"Jesus this is shit" she croaked, slumping back on the floor still hugging the toilet bowl. I guess I was right, her voice sounds like her throat is burnt from top to bottom.

"I know babe, do you want anything? Glass of water?"

"Yeah, that'd be great hun, thanks."

Her smile to me would have been wonderful if it wasn't for the red rimmed eyes and the sudden movement as she shoved her head down the bowl again, retching wildly. Reluctantly I left her alone and wandered back into our bedroom to get her some water. The bottle we had on the side was pretty much empty and I picked up the phone to call reception.

"Hi there, this is Emily Fitch in room 412, I think my friend is suffering from a bit of food poisoning from tonight's curry, I was wondering if someone could bring up a few bottles of water for her?"

The man on the reception seemed quite worried by my request, and within five minutes there was a knock on the door.

"Room service, you requested some water?"

I opened the door to see the duty manager, Tanish, holding two huge bottles of water. I liked Tanish, he'd looked after two nervous girls on their first day in the resort and we'd been on first name terms ever since.

"Emily, they did not tell me it was you that was sick!" he said looking crestfallen, "and in my hotel as well."

"It's not me," I said nodding towards the bathroom, "Naomi had the fish curry downstairs and she's been sick ever since."

He put the water down inside the doorway and wrung his hands nervously. "I will have a doctor here as soon as possible, we will make sure that poor Naomi is ok."

"She's only being sick Tan'" I tried to reassure him, "it's not like she's dying. Bit of water and some rest she'll be fine."

But he wouldn't take no for an answer, and left promising to have a doctor here within the hour; to be honest I doubted it would happen, it is really late, approaching eleven in fact. As I poured Naomi a large glass of water I realised that I was fucking shattered, we'd had a long day out today getting up at the crack of dawn to take a dolphin spotting boat trip. It had been a long and wonderful day and all I really wanted to do was curl up with my Naoms and fall asleep; well fall asleep eventually. However she needed me in a different way right now, so I took a deep breath and braced myself to enter the tiny bathroom.

I found her slumped head down, over the toilet, fast asleep. I guess the exertions of the last hour have wiped her out as well. Gently I shook her shoulder and called her name, trying to wake her; getting no response I decided a bit firmer action was required.

"Naomi!" I shouted, "wake up babe, you're not sleeping here; go to bed."

Her eyes snapped open and looked into mine. I grabbed a hand towel from the side and wet it in the sink. I was about to wipe her mouth when I remembered her aversion to being babied and instead just handed it to her. She took it with a weak smile and wiped at her mouth cleaning herself up before pressing it to her lips and squeezing, trying to take a drink.

"Not with that babe," I shouted quickly, stopping her in her tracks. "It's tap water…here." I offered her the glass and she took it and drank the lot in about a second flat.

"You still feeling sick?" I asked. I got my answer seconds later as she leaned over and brought back the glass of water she'd just downed. Typical Naomi, too much too soon.

"I need to brush my teeth," she announced as she raised her head again. "My mouth tastes like something crawled in it and died." I went back into the bedroom and grabbed one of the bottles of water. Despite the hotels assurances that the water in the rooms was fine to drink we hadn't been taking any chances, using bottled water to brush our teeth. After all it was free here and there was no point in wasting our purification kits until we really needed them.

Finally she finished messing about, brushing her teeth, gargling and spitting out the water and having a quick wash, and allowed me to put her to bed. She looked like death warmed up and that worried me; she'd looked exactly the same after her accident, pale and drawn.

"Penny for them Ems." She croaked, taking my advice and just sipping at the fresh glass of water I'd poured for her.

"Nope, you can have my thoughts for free babe." I said smiling, "I'm just worried about you that's all. You look terrible."

She chuckled at me feebly and smiled back, "Thanks for that Ems, way to boost my confidence."

"That's my girl," I replied slapping at her arms playfully. "You sound almost Naomi-like now."

"You seem to be doing a lot of looking after me recently Ems…I'm sorry about that."

I slapped at her arms again; "Naoms I plan to look after you for the rest of your life babe, so it's all good. Besides, I thought you liked the idea of me in a nurses outfit."

So teasing her like that might not seem to be a nice thing to do when she's sick, but she doesn't _like_ being sick; she doesn't like being treated differently so I know I'm on safe ground. Well nearly safe, because she's deliberately eyeing me up like a piece of meat right now and I can see her mind working. To my relief I'm saved from her attentions by a knock at the door; it's not like I don't want her attentions, I just don't think she's well enough to do anything about them right this minute.

Climbing off the bed I opened the door to reveal Tanish with a short, white haired old man. Introducing him as the local doctor I let him in and looked apologetically at Naomi as the old guy strode over to her, obviously all business.

Five minutes later, and to Naomi's obvious relief he was gone. A simple case of food poisoning was his diagnosis, apparently a few people in the hotel had the same thing; and all of them had eaten the fish curry…typical of her luck really. It was a pretty simple treatment plan, he simply gave her a few tablets to help with her nausea and recommended bed rest and lots of water to keep her hydrated, patiently reminding me that the heat would dehydrate her anyway and the sickness would make it even worse. Tan's promised to bring us more water as he left, poor guy looked worried. I guess he thinks everyone's going to sue his hotel.

"Thank fuck for that," Naomi exclaimed as I closed the door and came back to sit at the foot of the bed.

"I didn't call him babe, it was Tan's idea." She held out her hand and taking it I was pulled up the bed and dragged into her arms.

"I understand hun, it doesn't matter. It was nice of him to be worried."

I snuggled further into her embrace. I don't think I'll ever get tired of holding her, of being held by her; for whatever reason.

"How you feeling now babe? Those tablets working yet?"

"I'm feeling great now Ems," she squeezed me tighter, "but I don't think it's the tablets that's doing it. I think I'm ready for some sleep though."

Feeling slightly happier about the situation I relaxed and, once I felt her breathing even out, allowed myself to sleep too.

o+o+o

The next morning brought with it a groaning Naomi. She'd rolled away from me at some point in the night and was curled up in a ball holding her stomach. She looked as white as the sheets we were lying on, which was no mean feat with the healthy tan that she'd picked up lounging on the beach.

"How you feeling babe?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around the foetal ball she'd curled herself into.

"Like shit hun, I'm fucking starving but I don't think I could face eating anything, I'm pretty sure I'd just be sick again."

"How about some toast, could you manage that?"

She shrugged and then nodded, I took this as a 'yes' and stood up and wandered across the room to pick up the phone and ordered some room service.

"What's the plan for the day Ems?" she asked as soon as I put the phone down.

"Well _you're_ doing nothing babe, bed rest remember. We'll see how you are this afternoon."

"Ems, it's our last full day here tomorrow, I'm not wasting today lying in bed feeling shitty. I want to go back to the beach, or wander round the markets or something."

I put my hands on my hips and looked at her sternly. "You'll do as you're told Naomi Campbell. Have something to eat, take plenty of water and we'll see how you are later today. If you're better then we can go out, otherwise…"

She smiled at my act and straightened out, stretching her legs. "Yes Nurse Fitch, I'll be good I promise." I couldn't help but laugh, considering she's not feeling well she seems pretty lively. I allowed myself to relax, I'd had images of her being sick for days after last night's vomiting. Fortunately it looked like it was a quick bout rather than a full scale poisoning.

"So what you doing today then Ems?"

"I'm staying right here with you Nai," I told her, pretty surprised she thought I'd do anything else.

"No you're not," she replied firmly; well as firmly as she could manage. "You're not wasting your day hanging about here with me. Didn't you want to check our e-mails, see if Katie had replied to your letter?"

I nodded, I did want to do that, and it meant I would have to find the hotels guest computer to do it. I'd been meaning to look for it for days now, but we'd been so busy relaxing and enjoying ourselves that we hadn't bothered to do anything else.

Too busy enjoying ourselves, just how good is my life right now?

"Then have some breakfast, sod off and chase Katie up and leave me to be ill in peace."

My eyes widened at the 'in peace' comment but she stuck her tongue out at me making me laugh.

"Do you know what babe, I think I'll do just that. I'm not sure I want to be around you anymore if you're going to moan all the time."

"I thought you liked me moaning Ems," she chirped, with just a hint of the old Naomi in those eyes; with a bit of luck some more rest and some sensible food will sort her out. Still I can't let her get away with a comment like that...

"I don't like you moaning babe, I like you screaming. Are you trying to tell me I'm not good enough to make you scream?"

I watched as a bit more colour returned to her cheeks and laughed once more. I leaned down and gave her a peck on the forehead.

"I'm going to have a shower hun, your breakfast should be arriving in a bit."

"You not eating breakfast hun?"

I shook my head, "I'm going to get something downstairs babe, I fancy something more than toast and that's not fair if you're not well. What I'm planning to eat would probably make you sick again."

She looked at me the colour draining from her face once more, "Full English?"

"Sausage and egg toastie."

"Cow!"

"I know, at least I'm not a cruel cow though babe. I could have eaten it here in front of you."

"I'm not sure if that's as cruel as having me _think_ about you eating it. I'm sure the one in my mind will be better than the one you have. Almost as cruel as me thinking about you in the shower and not feeling good enough to get up and join you."

"Aw babe, I don't think the smell of eggs will do you any favours if you're still feeling iffy. Besides I'm sure you'll be fine later, we can go out then. Anyway it'd be good for us to shower alone for a change…we might actually get properly clean then."

I skipped away from the thrown pillow and headed to the bathroom, picking it up from the floor and throwing it back at her.

o+o+o

An hour later and I've eaten a decent breakfast, washed it down with orange juice and coffee and now I'm tucked away in a small room at the back of reception. After making sure Naomi had eaten and didn't need to puke her lungs up again; I left her with a bottle of water and instructions to rest and do nothing until I came back.

I don't think she's exactly happy, but she at least did as I asked, silently I thanked mum for her advice on asking her to do something and giving a reason why. She was dead right, I am pretty sure she _would_ walk through fire if I gave her a good reason to. She's kind of wonderful like that.

I blinked myself out of my daydream and stared at the small screen in front of me. I'd asked at reception to use the internet and they'd directed me to this room. It's nothing more than a small windowless box with a table and a chair and a computer that looks like it's powered by a steam engine but is actually surprisingly modern. Well it's running Vista at least and it appeared to start quickly enough.

I opened the internet browser and logged into the email address we'd set up specially for our trip, emilyandnaomiontour at gmail. com. Katie had relentlessly ripped the piss out of me for setting it up, but I thought it was kind of fun. I think she was annoyed because she had to type more than three or four characters on her bloody iPhone; posing cow.

Eventually the messages started appearing on the screen, mostly spam actually; fun to read though because Naomi and I really do need 'cheaper than pharmacy priced' little blue pills. There was a test e-mail from Gina and top of the list of real messages was one from Katie; eagerly I clicked it and read.

'_Hi Ems,_

_Glad to hear you're ok, I've attached the details so you can print them off and keep them. Yes as you probably gathered I got your letter, Gina brought it round yesterday morning. Can't believe we're going to be 18 in a few days, scary isn't it. Eff told me this morning that she's got a surprise for me for my birthday, I think she's taking me somewhere because I caught her checking my passport the other day when we were packing. Unless she's being all fucking mysterious again and trying to bluff me out, though I did find a travel book on Paris in the bedroom the other day so I think she might be planning a romantic weekend away._

_Not as good as a year touring the world, but a lot better than that weekend away in Sheffield Danny took me on. Fucker didn't even pay for it either as he was playing with the reserves…twat. I'm so much better off with Effy._

_By the way, you'll find out sooner or later but you lost your bet sis; the whole separate rooms thing lasted for about twelve hours, looks like Effy __**was**__ ready to move in properly. I know I was! We were both a pair of mopey shits about it without really knowing why. Then she came creeping into my bedroom at two in the morning, scared the shit out of me and hasn't moved out since. Turns out Effy didn't like being apart even though we were in the same house, I think she thought it meant a change in what we've got and it sort of made her take a step backwards if you know what I mean. She's better now though so it's ok. I've no intention of letting her move out anyway, I didn't like us being apart either, not one fucking bit actually. We've moved all her stuff into our room now so if you need a place to crash when you get back we've got a spare room (-:_

_I know you probably think it's a bit fast, but you practically moved in with Naomi last year after that bloody Love Ball so you can both just shut up yeah? We're happy together, I'm happy, it's nice; though we had our first proper argument the day we moved in, I was a right bitch to her…some things ever change yeah?_

_I don't really have anything else to tell you about our lives at the moment, we went out night before last and got totally trashed. The hangover was epic, I don't think I've been that pissed for ages, I was sick for ages, it was great._

_Glad to hear that you and the lezzer are doing good Ems, tell the blonde bitch from me that she'd better keep making you happy or she's fucking dead! _

_I miss you sis, I even miss Naomi and that's just fucking weird, I think I need help or something. Look forward to hearing from you then I can tell you all about University and the flat and everything properly._

_Effy sends her love to both of you and says tell Naomi she's sorted as planned, whatever the fuck that means. Seriously she's still fucking cryptic sometimes that girl. Anyway, look forward to hearing from you sis, don't forget to threaten Naomi for me and Ems I miss you too, I miss you more than I thought I would. I've had a lot of time to think recently and I know we've not always been great together but you're still my little sister and I love you._

_I'm also really jealous of you being over there, it sounds fantastic. Bristol is well, Bristol. Nothing ever changes here, especially not the weather. We're both extremely jealous of that beach you mentioned, I could do with getting a tan before Uni; ah well, spray tan it is then )-:_

_Can't wait to speak to you, Eff and I are anxiously awaiting all of your gossip, well more of your gossip anyway. We've put an answering machine on the landline so if you call, leave me your hotel's number and your room number and I'll call you back._

_Love ya sis_

_Eff sends her love too, guess we both send it to the lezzer so pass it on (-:_

_Katie_

_PS... Sand...EEEEEEWWWWWWW Fucks sake Ems, TMFI, seriously TMFI_

_lol'_

I couldn't help but laugh at that last bit, I knew it would get a reaction like that, but then that's exactly why I wrote it in my letter. Nai's right, it's nice to have secrets from Katie, but it's also nice to tease her. Call it getting my own back for all those years of shit.

I decided to quickly send her a message back.

_Hi Kay,_

_So you guys are properly living together now, like proper relationship time. Fucking hell Katie, I leave you alone for one fucking week and you go and move in with your girlfriend...I mean, seriously!_

_lol_

_Actually I'm made up for you sis, despite the fact that I owe Naomi an expensive meal now! I think I'll offer to pay off my debt tonight, she's been sick as a dog all night - something she ate. I doubt it'll cost me much the way she looked this morning. Anyway it'll be worth it to know you guys are happy. I have to admit to being worried about leaving you alone Katie, I'm glad in the end I didn't have to._

_If Effy takes you to Paris Kay I'll be so jealous, I know you said you're jealous of us, but I fucking loved Paris, and it would be great for a romantic stay. I know I wished Naomi was with me when we went there, no offence. I'm sure you'll love it. I've always wanted to see Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower by night. I'm sure it's stunningly romantic._

_So anyway, this was just a short note to pass on the hotel details, this is where we are at the moment; like I said in the letter, I don't know where we're off to day after tomorrow. Naomi said we can't stay here because they were booked up, besides she say's it'll be nice to move onto somewhere new; we've been here nearly a week and Goa's a pretty big place and India is even bigger. I think we're going to try and train our way to Delhi pretty soon. Then across to Kolcata. I want to visit the Taj Mahal along the way, you can't tour India with your girlfriend and not see that now can you. Not when it's supposed to be a gigantic symbol of love._

_After that who knows? We haven't really decided yet, China or Japan then down to Australia we think. I don't really care, I could happily stay here and sleep on this beach for the rest of my life, as long as Naomi's with me of course._

_Speaking of which, I'd better get back to her. I've been away for ages and she might need me. I'll try and call you tomorrow sis, really glad everything's ok._

_Love to you both_

_Em_

I typed in the hotel details to the bottom of my message and hit the send button. It's twelve fifteen here so I'm not expecting a reply from Katie, she's probably still in bed as its only about quarter to eight their time, at least I think that's what time it is. I've lost track, the UK seems like a different place to me right now; no longer home, just a place we have to go back to.

I made a note of their address and phone number, because stupidly the room didn't have a printer, and headed back to our room. I'm anxious about Naomi, I know she's only a little sick, but I can't help it. I don't like her being ill and she looked pretty weak this morning. In fact it took me right back to the days after her 'accident' and that's not somewhere I want to go back to anytime soon.

Pushing the unhappy memories behind me I unlocked the door and snuck into the room, trying not to wake her if she's asleep.

The bed was messed up but totally empty; she wasn't there. It's fucking typical of her, Miss _fucking_ Independence 2009, she can't just sit still and be ill. I was about to shut the door and go looking for her when I heard her voice from the bathroom.

She's singing.

Naomi Campbell is fucking singing!

Well she's at least trying, I'm not sure if she's got a cat or two in there with her but if she has, then the Indian equivalent of the RSPCA should probably arrest her because she sounds like she's torturing them.

I plonked myself on the bed and listened carefully, I could hear her voice clearly over the sound of running water; presumably she's taking a shower. I thought for a second about letting her know I'm here, but decided against it. I decided just to allow myself to revel in the sound of her happiness.

I've not heard Naomi sing; I mean I've known her for years, been living with her for practically a year and I've never, ever heard her sing, not unless she was humming or singing along to a record absently and that's different; everyone does that. This time she's just singing with no music apart from whatever's playing in her head. It's the most joyous sound I've ever heard; not only does it signal that she's feeling better, but she sounds so unfettered, so totally at peace with herself; despite her lack of talent it's fucking beautiful.

_"I'm a broken doll, and you're the puppeteer. Take control for me, and wipe away my fear."_

I know the song she's singing, didn't know she knew it. Last time I played it in her presence I thought she was fast asleep, head on my lap, whilst I talked to Katie. I can't help but smile at the sentiment of the song, it's kind of fitting; at least it is when she sings it.

I lay back on the bed just listening to her as she showered, and closed my eyes and relaxed; letting the worries of the morning be soothed away by the sound of the running water and her voice. It made me once again realise how little I truly know about my girlfriend; and what a wonderful journey of learning about each other that we are undertaking as we start the rest of our lives together.

I was jerked awake by the sound of the door opening and Naomi re-entering the bedroom dried and dressed in her vest top and shorts. She looked at me in surprise as I lay on the bed, then flushed a little; her cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink.

"How long have you been back Ems? I thought you'd be gone most of the day."

"You were in the shower babe, I've not been back too long. Must have fallen asleep," I added, not that I needed to state the obvious. " I guess I didn't get too much sleep last night. I take it you're feeling better babe?"

She nodded at me, "Yeah, I had some toast and managed to keep it down, slept for ages and when I woke up I felt like I needed a long, long shower. Feeling a lot better now. Bit weak, but I thought I'd come down and see if you were by the pool or something...but you're here now."

"Yeah," I smirked back, "obviously I'm here. I've not been here long though, I found the hotels computer and we had an e-mail from Katie; she says she's missing me, says she's missing you as well but told me to threaten you anyway."

Naomi just rolled her eyes at that piece of information, she really _is_ feeling better then. She looked at me curiously.

"So you didn't..." she trailed off. I nodded at her sheepish face, knowing what she meant.

"Yeah, I did babe, but don't worry. I won't tell anyone you were hurting cats in the bathroom. It'll be our little secret."

She groaned back at me, "See this is why I only ever do it when I know I'm alone, I know I can't fucking sing Ems, there's no need to rub it in."

She sat down heavily on the bed next to me and kicked out her feet and lay back.

"It's fine," I told the ceiling; reassuring it, and her, that I wasn't bothered about the noise. "You can sing all you want in the shower...just please, not in public ok? Spare me that embarrassment babe, you sing like Panda dances!"

o+o+o

_Naomi_

The sunlight woke me up through the bedroom window, I hate having to leave it wide open because it denies me a long lie in, but it's too fucking hot here not to get some ventilation. Especially as the air conditioning is at best laughable. Frankly you can't sleep with it on, it makes so much noise it's untrue. Still this place isn't bad and it was cheap for an all inclusive deal. Cheap enough for me to afford the next part of our trip anyway.

Surprisingly I don't know what we're doing after that. I guess we're going to be bums for the next few months, travelling wherever we can and trying to eke out our savings so we can get from one place to the next. Considering how nervous I was about everything before we left, annoying the shit out of everyone with my need to make lists and check everything, I'm pretty laid back about the future. As long as we can get a plane back home from wherever we are I'm ok with what's happening. I guess India's changed me; mum said it would.

Perhaps it's not India though, perhaps it's a certain red head I know. Perhaps it's both.

Today marks our last day in this hotel. I've told Emily we have to move on because they were booked solid after this, it's not even close to being the truth, but I'm hoping that she'll forgive me when she knows what's happening. In two days time it's her eighteenth birthday and I've organised something nice for her, something I hope she'll appreciate. I made all the arrangements long before we left, most of them were done long before the really bad times between us. I've had her birthday present shipped to the new hotel and I'm shitting myself in case she doesn't like it. I really hope she does, it took me fucking ages to choose it for her.

I'm embarrassed to say I've been totally conflicted about what I'm doing. Part of me thinks that it's very close to lying to Emily and I promised myself I'd never do that again. I've been so conflicted that I even talked to Effy about it and had to put up with her snort and amused look.

"It's not lying Naomi, you're hiding a surprise from your girlfriend, it's not the same thing."

"But I'm not telling her the truth about what's going on Eff," I'd replied earnestly, "it feels like I'm lying to her again."

She'd hit me around the back of the head, making my skull feel like she'd hit me with a hammer as she caught the bump on the back of my head.

"Tosser." she'd said simply and ended the conversation there; I'd taken the hint.

Yesterday was the first truly shite day of our holiday, and yet it wasn't because I got to be looked after and not feel guilty. We didn't get to do anything we really wanted to; I'd wanted to head off into the nearest town on the garish coloured buses that drove past the hotel every couple of hours; but after spending all that time puking I really didn't have the energy. So Ems made sure we did nothing but lounge around, either in bed, just chatting or down by the pool. I did nothing more energetic than walk to the toilet all day and as night fell, I was feeling a lot more like the old me.

I still didn't want any food though, settling for some toast again, this time with a bit of butter and a hint of marmalade. The waiter in the hotel restaurant looked at me as if I was mad until Ems mentioned I'd had the fish curry there the night before; a rack of perfectly cooked toast appeared with her main course with the promise that it would be refilled as many times as I wanted. My brain didn't thank me as I watched Ems dig into the pasta dish she'd ordered; but my stomach did as the inoffensive food landed, filling a hole and not making me sick. By the time Ems had destroyed the food on her plate like she usually does I was feeling slightly more content, and much more human.

It's amazing what a full stomach can do for you isn't it?

We spent the rest of the night by the pool, lounging around and drinking. Ems on glasses of cocktails, me on nice safe glasses of water. To be honest I'm not missing the alcohol. I've had more than a few drinks here, but only with her around and nowhere near as many as I used to drink. I'm not trying to forget anything here, not even my singing; quite the opposite in fact; I'm trying to remember as much as I can, locking away every small memory, fixing them in my head for posterity.

I also remember vividly our deal, it's at the forefront of my mind every time we go to the bar. I'm not walking that road again.

Eventually we headed for bed and curled up together, needing nothing more than each other's company, and so we come to this morning; were I'm awake at an almost ungodly hour watching the sun stream through the windows. Our last day in this hotel has started and if my plans go right, our last night here has already passed us by.

o+o+o

Night finally falls over Miramar beach, now one of my most favourite places in the world. This little spot, this oasis at the quiet end of the beach is as important to me now as our lake, or my little spot on the banks of the Thames. No make that as important as our lake and my two spots; the one at Westminster and that little bench by Lambeth pier, the one where we re-sealed our relationship in words as well as touches.

Emily and I had spent a wonderful day just doing fuck all again. We had breakfast, just before they closed the restaurant and started serving lunch. For some reason we'd found an excuse to stay in bed that morning and just cuddle each other. From breakfast onwards the day was ours; we'd taken a packed lunch for the afternoon and headed out to our favourite beach and walked, swam, sunbathed and generally messed about. Doing nothing because we didn't have anything more important to do.

We'd stopped off in one of those cheesy beachside shops that appear everywhere and I'd bought a postcard of the beach at sunset and sent it to my mum.

_"Mum, not every beach in India, but this one makes up for missing the rest. Happier than I've ever been, miss you, love to you and K. Nai xxx"_

Not an eloquent message but more than made up for with Emily's little post script.

_"Mum, one day you're going to have to explain this 'every beach in India' thing. Happy as she is, love you like she does. Ems xx"_

We sniggered at the thought of the reaction she'd have reading it, and bought stamps and posted it straight away in the odd little post box outside the shop. Ems' comment would hopefully make mum blush bright red. I'd told Emily all about what mum had wanted to do on the beaches of India before my birth, but mum didn't know that did she? Funnily enough Ems seemed quite happy to give it a go, and I was hoping that any inhibitions she might have about it would fail her once again tonight.

As the evening drew in we headed back to the hotel for something to eat, before I dragged Emily away once more to the beach, our stuff sack filled with essentials.

As we reached the small bank of trees beyond the high water mark where we'd made our home for the last week I opened the sack and dragged out our blanket and our sleeping bags.

"We camping out tonight Nai?" she'd asked with a grin on her face, "I thought we had one more night left in the hotel. I didn't realise we'd been evicted already."

"We haven't hun," I'd replied shaking out my sleeping bag and unzipping it and tossing onto the blanket to turn it into a mattress. "Otherwise I'd have brought the rest of our bags. I thought it's be nice to camp out though, you know, like the lake? We promised ourselves that we'd do it and tonight seemed like the perfect opportunity. Don't worry though, Tanish told me lots of people do this."

She smiled across at me as I finished preparing our makeshift camp. "Do I have to make a fire like that first time babe?"

I grinned back, "I hope it'll be warm enough not to bother. Well warm enough with you in my arms under the blankets anyway."

"You think we'll need the blankets?"

"Probably not Ems, but you never know."

I finished setting up our little haven from the world and stood up, peeling off my shorts and vest.

"Coming for a swim then Ems? Sun won't shine forever." I grinned stupidly at her as another phrase from our past passed my lips. "In fact if we don't get in the water now we'll miss the sunset."

"...and what if I don't want to go swimming?"

"Then I'll do what I did last time Ems, I'll push you in."

Quickly I grabbed her by the hand and dragged her down the beach, towards the water, enjoying the sound of her amused squeals.

"Naomi stop, I'm still fucking dressed...give me a second all right?"

o+o+o

Cooled off from the heat of the day by the evening swim, I stood in the evening sun and towelled myself off before pulling on my clothes. As days go this one was pretty much up there, it had been a long, lazy but exhausting day. We'd walked for miles and it was with a little sense of relief that I flopped down in our little campsite and sat back against a small tree watching the sun slip towards the horizon. Within seconds I had a red-headed bundle between my legs as Emily sat down, facing the sunset and leaned back into me.

"It really is beautiful here babe." she said softly as I wrapped my arms around her and nuzzled into her neck. "Promise me one day we'll come back."

"If we can hun; it's a big world out there Ems, there are a lot of places we might want to visit."

"Yeah, but this place is special babe, one day I want to come back."

She sounded so adamant, so sincere that it's hard to say no to her, even though that logical part of my brain is telling me that we might never be able to come back I know what I have to tell her.

"You want to come back here Ems, then we'll do that. But for now, let's just enjoy being here yeah? Let's not miss a thing, I don't want to lose a moment."

Emily didn't reply, just snuggled back into me as the sun slipped below the horizon, bathing us for the last time in it's beautiful red glow. Red, like the girl I'm holding; she's like my very own sun is my Emily, she lights up my day and brings warmth to the cold places that existed before her.

"You were singing yesterday babe."

"Yeah, and?"

"another one for the playlist when we get home?"

I thought about it for a few minutes, stalling as I considered my thoughts by kissing her neck, listening to her little intakes of breath as I placed my lips over the spots I know she loves me to kiss. My playlist was something that a confused and scared Naomi Campbell had used to put everything into a form that she, I, could understand. I'd used music to track my relationship with Emily from that first moment I saw her nearly 6 years ago. I'd put my heart and soul into explaining everything I felt to myself in lyrics and music and in the last week I'd managed to nullify all of it.

Why did I need music when I've got her, why do I need to sort things out in my head when I know what I'm doing and I know why I'm doing it? Why do I need to find a way to express my feelings when I can just have them, share them, enjoy them with her?

"Nope, no songs for the playlist any more Ems. All in the past."

She twisted slightly in my arms and tilted her head to look at me. "Nai, those songs were important to you, you told me that in the garden back home. You told me what the music meant to you."

"They mean fuck all to me now Ems. I've got you now, I'm ok with that. There's no more conflict, no more confusion; there's no more happy times and sad times that I can't express. I don't need the playlist to find a release for everything inside me anymore."

"That's nice Nai, I'm glad. You should keep doing it though, it meant so much to you."

"I don't need it hun, I don't need anything but these little moments where we can just talk to each other and I can tell you how I'm feeling. I can get everything out then. Music is just music now. Life is about memories, and I don't need music to remind me of what we've got, or what we're doing, not now anyway."

"Sleep on it babe," she told me softly, rubbing her thumb across my hand. "You might feel differently when we get home. You shouldn't give up on something so beautiful; besides," she giggled to herself like a small girl, "now I know where you keep it, it makes it easier to know how we're doing in this relationship of ours."

_'Oh my Emily, how much do I love you?_' I nuzzled into her neck a bit firmer and listened to her squeal as I did so, thankful that she'd given us the opportunity to lighten the conversation.

"So babe," she said finally, once the sun had set over the horizon. "The best and worst bits of the day?"

I thought about it for a second, "Best bit was writing that postcard hun, thinking about how mum is going to handle the bit you wrote. Worst bit? Tough one that, today's been a pretty good day again. Probably how bad my feet hurt after all that walking. Those sandals I bought aren't exactly good walking attire, I was _so_ glad to put my feet in the water before. You?"

"Worst bit was getting up this morning, I was very comfortable where I was wrapped in your arms I really didn't want to get out of bed at all; the best bit is right now. This is a great idea babe, camping out and watching the sunset."

"Yeah," I agreed, kicking myself for not realising this was really my best part of the day. "I brought some candles from the hotel in case we need them, want me to light some?"

She shook her head, her long hair flicking at me as she did so, nearly making me sneeze as they brushed my nose. "We don't really need them do we babe? I don't need candles to make this any more romantic. I don't need anything more than you."

I squeezed her tighter, "I guess not Ems...not if you don't want them." I felt her hands run along my calves as they wrapped around her and closed my eyes locking away another perfect memory, one more piece of perfection to keep safely stored until the day I die.

"I love you Emily Fitch, more today than yesterday you know?"

"I know babe, I love you too."

o+o+o

_Emily_

I was having the most wonderful dream, Naomi and I were on a beach, we'd taken a midnight dip in the ocean and ended up making out in the surf, the waves sweeping gently over us as we'd rolled around wrapped in our own passion, oblivious to anyone that might be looking. I was dreaming that she'd led me out of the water and laid me down on a set of blankets in the privacy and shelter of some trees; that she'd gently removed our bikini's and made love to me on that beach, a sleeping bag the only thing covering our modesty.

As I woke to a gentle shaking, I looked into the beautiful blue eyes of my girl and remembered exactly where I was; remembered that it wasn't just a dream, it was a memory. A memory she'd given me by suggesting we camp out, watch the sunset, and sleep under the stars.

"Morning beautiful," she said gently kissing my lips. "I thought you'd want to watch the sunrise with me."

I blinked at her and stretched, my brain coming down from the high of my dream, to find that reality, for once, wasn't lacking.

"Hey lover," I said as soon as I was capable of speech, "I was just dreaming of you."

"I know; you have naughty dreams Miss Fitch and you talk in your sleep."

I felt the warmth as my face went red and was rewarded for my embarrassment by a peal of laughter from the woman I love making my poor heart skip a beat.

"What exactly did I say?" I asked sitting up and looking at her.

"Not telling honey," she said, kissing me on the forehead, "I wouldn't want to ruin the sunrise."

She stood up and held out her hand, I took it and she pulled me to my feet. I wondered for a second why I was fully dressed, but as my brain kicked into gear I remembered us pulling our clothes on after that glorious night of passion; and snuggling under the sleeping bag as the night drew on, a slight chill from the sea breeze relieving the incessant humidity. The early morning air was pleasant, the breeze still making the goose bumps rise on my arms, but already you could feel that it was going to be another gloriously hot day.

Naomi smiled at me and held out her hand once more, I grabbed at it and we walked out of our little cocoon of trees and out onto the beach. It was still blissfully quiet, here and there I could see figures, some couples, some alone; but it looked like all of them had come here for one reason and one reason alone. To watch the sun rise.

We stood with our backs to the ocean and waited as the glowing tendrils of dawn broke over the trees and buildings marking the start of our last day here.

"I don't want to leave Nai," I said, "I want to stay here forever. Why do we have to move on?"

"You know why Ems; besides we're not going too far, just a taxi ride up the coast. You'll love it where we're going, trust me."

"Naoms I know I'll love it because I'm with you, it's just..."

I didn't have the words to describe what I felt, this place made my chest heave just to think of it; I feel like this place is a part of me already. Gina told us that India changes you as a person and I know it's changed me, changed us. I want to hold onto _this_ 'us' forever. I think I'm just a little scared that we'll lose it when we move on.

"It's going to be all right hun," she whispered into my ear as she held me, "it's going to be better than all right."

o+o+o

As the sun rose in the sky we packed up our little camp into the stuff sack and walked hand in hand back down the beach before turning inland to our little hotel. As soon as we had got back to our room I made a selfish dive for the shower, leaving Naomi to put away our stuff. I was hoping that she'd take the hint of my wink and join me, but to my surprise I was left to shower alone. I wasn't too disappointed, being alone gave me more time to think, and I had some _very_ good times to think back on.

When finally I left the shower I found Naomi unpacking our clothes from the drawers, and neatly packing them into the rucksacks. We'd been using a nearby laundrette to get our stuff cleaned, paying the extra few rupees for the service wash, It cost almost nothing to get our gear washed, dried and ironed and we'd taken full advantage of it. It looked like she was preparing another trip; she had taken all our dirty clothes and put them in a small pile by the bed, I assume to pack in the sack and take to get washed before we leave.

I stood watching her from the bathroom doorway until finally she noticed me.

"Hey hun, you done in there?"

"Yeah I am, no thanks to you."

She looked at me, a hint of trepidation in her eyes; "Why what did I do? Or what didn't I do?" she added quickly.

"You never came in and scrubbed my back Naoms, I had to do it all on my own. I'm not used to doing that anymore."

"Ems you said yesterday it would do us good to shower alone, I thought I'd give you some space."

I walked over to her, stepping over the pile of t-shirts and underwear and placed my hands firmly on her hips, looking her carefully in the eyes.

"Naomi I said that yesterday because you were too ill to move. Don't mix that up with any other time. Stop being so bloody considerate, I'm not used to that either."

I was really, but I do like teasing her, I love the way her eyes twitch as she tries to work out if it's a joke or not.

"Fine," she said sliding her hands up the towel I had wrapped around my body. "In that case I'll stop being considerate and I'll stop doing all the packing and use the shower myself."

She stepped past me towards the bathroom and with a sudden swift motion ripped the towel from around me and ran into the bathroom giggling. I stood in the room naked and stared at the closed door, a broad grin on my face.

"Campbell sometimes you are _so_ childish!"

"Yeah, you love it." I heard over the sound of running water

Pushing open the door to the bathroom I grabbed another towel from the rack and finished drying myself off. Suddenly filled with a sense of mischief I walked over to the sink and turned on the hot tap, standing back and waiting for the usual howl of protest. To my surprise I found a pair of blue eyes looking at me through the frosted glass of the shower cubicle.

"Won't work Ems, we're in a hotel remember? Separate water supplies."

_'Bollocks, foiled again'_

o+o+o

Eventually we headed down to breakfast, making a quick detour to drop off our clothes at the laundrette. We stopped and chatted with the old woman that seemed to own the place and explained our need to get things back before we had to check out of the hotel and be on our way. She promised that everything would be washed dried and pressed by mid afternoon and we left to grab some food from the buffet.

To be honest the hotel was being pretty relaxed about our leaving, we'd asked at reception and they'd promised to look after our bags for us so we could enjoy the morning and not panic about having to be out by eleven. An advantage of having Tanish as duty manager again on the day we were leaving.

We took our time over breakfast before heading back upstairs and emptying the room of all our stuff and packing it all away; our rucksacks now looking like proper travellers bags rather than tourist luggage, sleeping bags and kipmats strapped to the outside. We checked out of the hotel with a small pang of regret and hugged Tanish as he took our bags and put them away for us; telling us to stay as long as we needed to today, insisting we make full use of everything and that we must say goodbye properly when we finally left.

There was one last thing I wanted to do and that was call Katie, I'd tried yesterday afternoon but there wasn't a response and I wanted to try again to make sure I spoke to her before we moved on.

I left Naomi sunning herself by the pool and wandered back into the hotel and waited by the public phones for a free booth. I put the phone card I'd bought into the slot and dialled the number Katie had given me. I heard it ring and pick up and Effy's voice come over the handset.

"Hello?"

"Hi Eff it's Emily..."

"Hi there, I'm afraid you're talking to a machine, which means you'll probably get better sense out of it than me or Katie. We're not here, you know what to do."

Fucking Effy, her message totally had me going, I thought she'd actually picked up for a second there. I quickly left a message.

"Hi guy's it's Emily; hello from Goa! I thought I'd call and say we're on the move. Katie I'll e-mail you with the new hotel when I find out where we're staying. Miss you both, love you, bye."

I _hate_ answering machines, hate them with a passion. I always feel so awkward and pathetic talking to them.

Naomi gave me an enquiring look as I returned to the pool and I shook my head, sitting down on the edge of her sun lounger.

"No answer," I told her, feeling a bit sad actually. "I'll try her again when we get to the new place."

"Check in at the new place is at four hun," she said, holding my hand reassuringly; probably sensing that not being able to speak to my sister had left me a bit down. "If we get there dead on, and you make the call straight away it'll be what, lunchtime over there? They're probably still sleeping that's all, it's only about seven in the morning in the UK. When was the last time you remember Katie being up that early?"

Bless her for trying to make me feel better, the time zone thing is a bit of a drag really; and she's right they're both probably in bed...which reminds me.

"Naoms, I have a bit of a confession to make. You know that e-mail I got when you were sick?" she nodded at me, curiosity in her eyes. "Well Katie tells me I owe you an expensive meal. Her and Effy moved in properly the same day they moved into the flat; apparently Effy snuck into Katie's bed at two in the morning and hasn't left since."

She looked at me, mouth wide open, shock on her face.

"Katie says they're both very happy and we should just shut up."

"Fair enough," she said an evil grin appearing on her face. "I really must send Katie an e-mail though. I feel the need to rip the piss out of her relentlessly for this."

"Leave them alone babe, let Katie be happy for a while before you start winding her up. She's not been happy for a long time now. I'm just pleased that her and Effy are doing so well."

Gina Campbell's advice worked again as she nodded, shrugged and changed the subject.

"So what are we doing for the rest of the afternoon then Ems? I've got a taxi booked for three thirty to take us on to our next stop."

"Well I thought we could grab some lunch somewhere, and go for a walk around town or something. maybe one last walk along the beach?"

"Sounds like a plan Ems...come on then, let me get up and I'll buy you lunch. It can be my treat, seeing as you're buying dinner tonight."

_'Bugger.'_

o+o+o

The afternoon soon vanished into that mysterious time warp that only occurs when you're with someone you love; and are truly enjoying yourself and don't want whatever you are doing to end. Before I knew it we were piling our bags into the taxi and saying goodbye to our first stop on our trip. As we drove down the street Naomi put her arm around my shoulder and kissed me on the cheek.

"First stop of many done hun," she announced happily, "if everything we do from now on is only one percent as good as that week was, then I think we're going to have a pretty awesome trip yeah?"

I put my hand on her thigh and squeezed as I rested my head on that ever available shoulder of hers.

"Yeah, it's going to be great babe I know it is. I'm just sad that this part's over though."

"Things have to end Ems; if they don't, well we can't move on to better things you know?"

She's right, as always. _'Life is about memories'_ she'd said last night on the beach as the sun set in front of us, she's right about that as well. Life _is_ about creating memories, good and bad ones; and moving on from that hotel and that beach gave us the opportunity to go forward with our lives and create a whole new set of memories, good ones; ones that would sustain us when times were hard. Feeling happier I pulled her hand to my lips, kissed her knuckles and held it tight. She knew what I meant, she understood.

o+o+o

After not much more than ten minutes drive I felt the car pull to a halt once again; we'd been stop-start most of the journey, the traffic rules in India appearing to be somewhat 'fluid'. It wasn't until Naomi nudged me that I started paying any attention to anything but relaxing in her arms.

"Ems babe, we're here."

I looked out of the car window at our new hotel, the place where we would apparently be spending the next four days.

"Fucking hell Naomi, _Jesus!_ You have _got_ to be shitting me!"

.

.

.

**A/N -** Jeez two chapters in and they're getting away from me again. This one was a killer to write, hope you liked it. There's a small nod to a favourite, (old) Naomily story in there somewhere and a little easter egg for those that can be bothered. Things you do when you're procrastinating on a Friday night/Saturday morning lol.


	3. Take A Look!

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer –** I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent. Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame)

**Authors Note **– So I really need to sleep right now, in a bad way; like in a screen keeps moving back and forth type way! Still, I kind of wanted to post this one seeing as some of you thought last chapter was a cliff-hanger. It was going to be longer but I thought I'd split it down, save you waiting too long for an update.

In case you notice a difference if you're rereading I've been corrected on the 2009/2010 thing so I've changed it here for the sake of vague sticking to "canon"

Hope you like this one, I did.

**Chapter 3 - Take a Look!**

_Emily_

_"Fucking hell Naomi, Jesus! You have got to be shitting me!"_

I don't know whether to laugh or cry, so _this_ is why she's been so fucking evasive about where we were going next, _this_ is why she's been so fucking coy and done everything but fucking lie to my face about the next spot on our trip.

Sometimes I could just fucking kill her.

"Coming Ems?" she asked leaning back in through the open door of the taxi and holding out her hand. "Come on, we'd better get checked in if you want to try and ring Katie."

She must have seen something she didn't like in my face, because she suddenly stopped speaking; biting her lip like she does when she's nervous, and looking away from my stare.

"What's wrong hun?"

"What's wrong? This Naomi...seriously, do you really expect us to stay here? How are we going to afford to pay for this? This is like a fucking four star hotel or something, we don't have enough in the travel fund to pay to stay here."

We'd pulled up on the driveway of the very posh looking Marriott hotel. I don't know a lot about hotels but I know this chain isn't exactly cheap. We're supposed to be backpacking here, living on a budget, seeing the world on a shoestring.

Not staying in the lap of luxury.

"It's a five star hotel actually, and _we_ don't have to pay for this Ems, it's all paid for already, come on, I'll explain when we're inside."

I hauled myself out of the taxi and looked up at the hotel, not massive, not one of those huge buildings you see in the UK, where they pack the customers into skyscrapers to make the most of their city footprint. This is open plan and only three stories high and I can see through it to the sea beyond. I have to admit it's a lot nicer than the last place we stayed at, and I really liked it there.

"Naomi…"

I was interrupted by my rucksack being passed to me and I watched Naomi pay the driver and watched as it drove away.

It's real.

This isn't a joke.

We're actually staying here.

"Well, what you waiting for hun? Let's go get checked in." she announced, cheerily grabbing me by the hand and pulling me towards the entrance doors. I hitched the rucksack into a more comfortable position on my back and walked along with her.

To say the reception was opulent would be an understatement. As we walked through the doors I'm presented with something out of an over the top fantasy novel, all columns and statues and warm colourful decorations. As she led me across to the smiling faces on the reception desk I feel guilty because I'm walking on the largest mosaic floor I think I've ever seen.

To say the place has left me speechless would be a slight understatement, to say it's left me breathless would be closer.

I'm not exactly used to staying in five star hotels with family Fitch, we tended to go for caravan holidays or staying in chalets and the like when we went away. I've not stayed in many hotels, and I've never, _ever_ stayed in one as fancy as this.

I can hear Naomi at the desk giving over our details and suddenly there's a member of staff in front of me smiling and looking like he's waiting for me to do something.

"Sorry?" I apologised, realising he must have spoken to me, "I was miles away."

"Your bag Miss, may I take it for you. I shall take it up to your room."

I shrugged my rucksack off my shoulder and watched as he picked it up with practiced ease and carried it, and Naomi's bag out of sight. I spent a few moments in that reception just looking around. I can see a nice looking restaurant, what looks like a bar area and a set of doors leading through to a terrace with a pool and a sea view. It was a lot to take in.

_'Life is about memories'_

I think I'm about to get another one of those memories I'm going to be able to store away for the tough times. In fact I think I'm going to get quite a few over the next four days.

"Ems?"

I looked across to see Naomi beckoning me across to the reception desk. I walked over to see what she wanted and slipped my arm around her waist.

"They need you to sign the guest register babe, then you can use the room credits as well."

I looked down at the form that she had in front of her before looking up at her not really understanding what she meant.

"We get credits to use in the bars Ems, it's part of the package deal I got us. Room, meals and some credits, you don't have to worry ok? It's all taken care of, all you have to do is relax and enjoy yourself."

She smiled at me with a look of pride and pleasure on her face. I assume I'm reacting the way she'd hoped I would; pretty much in awe of the whole experience. She's quite obviously planned all this out very carefully and I'm suddenly really anxious to see what else she's organised for our stay. Quickly I scribbled my signature onto the form and looked up at her, hoping she'd be able to understand just how much I love her for doing this; but to my slight dismay she'd already turned back to the man behind the reception desk.

"Emily would like to call her sister in the UK, can we do that from the room or is there a booth or something we have to use?"

"Miss Fitch can do that from your room Miss Campbell, or if you like you could use one of the customer telephones in the corner there.."

"Cool, we'll head up and unpack then. Ems you want to make the call from the room?"

I nodded and the receptionist handed us both a key card before gesturing behind us. We turned around to see another member of staff carrying a tray with two huge drinks on it.

"Complimentary fruit punch?" she asked smiling at us; seriously since I walked through those doors everyone has smiled at us, they're always smiling. In fact everyone we've met in India has been smiling; at the airport, in the shops and hotels everyone always looks pleased to help you. It's such a change to most of the places in England I'm used to; staff in a lot of places in Bristol look like you should be grateful they even know you're there and they're the good ones. Some of them, especially in the stores Katie likes to shop in, tend to look at me like I shouldn't be allowed in; just because I don't want to dress like a fucking slapper and buy their overpriced shite. Not one person has looked at me like that here, not one. Wherever we've gone I've been made to feel welcome, I love it here; I really do.

We took our drinks and thanked them for their hospitality, taking a sip. Considering it was a non-alcoholic cocktail it was superb. I couldn't tell all the individual flavours, but there's definitely orange, pineapple and passion fruit in it, it's a fruit medley, but it totally works.

"Wicked! Posh Um-Bongo Ems, whizzer yeah?" Naomi whispered to me, doing such a pathetic impression of Panda it nearly caused me to snort my drink all over the tiled floor of the reception.

"Naomi!" I complained at her, recovering from my choking fit. "That's not funny."

"Sorry hun," she replied, lowering her eyes and doing her best to look ashamed of herself, she doesn't fool me though I know she's more than slightly amused.

"Do you want to sit down and drink these?" she asked, "I don't think we should be taking them back to our room."

I nodded, seeing her point. If I'm truthful there's so much I want to do right now, I want to head up to see what our room is like, I want to go and explore the hotel and see what's here; I want to call Katie and tell her how fucking awesome the place Naomi's booked us into actually is. I want to swim in that pool and see if that bar has an extensive cocktails menu and I want to drink something exotic, something classy, and silky and wonderful; a liquid Naomi, a cocktail that could send me as giddy as she does.

I want to do it all, and I want to do it all right now; but I don't want to be carrying this glass around with me whilst I do it. Still there's an obvious solution to this and I offer it to her to see if she's ok with it; I don't want her to feel like I'm ignoring her straight after we get here.

"Babe, if we're going to sit here and drink these do you mind if I give Katie a quick call from over there? If I speak to her then it's out of the way and I can relax and we can go explore this place. Is that ok?"

"That's a pretty good idea hun, I think I'll check my mail while you're doing it, there's a computer over there and I've got an access card from reception. Have you got your phone card with you to use?"

"I dug around in my pockets only to realise that I'd left it with my purse in my rucksack. "Fuck, no it's in my bag. I'll go get it."

"I'll do it hun, you sit and watch our stuff ok, I could do with getting some cash out of my bag anyway. I'm going to put some on our account then we can use our room key to buy drinks and stuff when we've run out of credits."

She stood up and smoothed down her skirt, leaning down to kiss me before heading off leaving me once more in a kind of dumb silence with tingling lips and the taste of posh Um-Bongo. She really has thought this through, every last detail by the looks of things; I remind myself to ask her all about it when she returns.

I spend a bit of time, whilst I waited for her to return, just gazing at the decorations in the reception area and staring through the glass doors at the pool and the sea view beyond. It really is a lovely place, a lovely hotel; it's all so very different to Bristol here, I know it's a posh hotel but it seems more relaxed and yet still frenetic. It's like a microcosm of my experience of India so far; everything is done at speed, but nothing seems to be a problem.

Naomi would probably have a good rant about the massive difference between rich and poor here if I let her; about how the rich have everything and the poor live in slums or on the streets, having nothing at all. She must be so torn at the moment, bless her.

My 'activist' Naomi would probably hate staying in this hotel, hate the thought that she was another 'rich' tourist exploiting the country. But I know that my 'lover' Naomi is enjoying every moment; loving this place because she's arranged for us to stay here, she's done all this for _us_ to make _me_ feel good. Kept this big bloody secret so she could put a smile on my face with the surprise and she has succeeded; in a big way.

God she's wonderful, one day she'll understand how wonderful she is.

It doesn't take long before she's back, even then it felt like an eternity. I know when she's returned because I get a quiver down my spine as I feel her wrap her arms drift across my shoulders and her lips kiss the back of my neck.

"That was quick," I told her as she handed me my purse and sat back into her chair.

"Rooms not that far away."

"Nice?" I asked, really curious to know what the room is like. She just shrugged back at me.

"It's ok, I couldn't afford to book us into one of the really nice rooms but it'll do. The air conditioning works here at least. I think you'll like it."

"I'm sure it'll be perfect babe." I took a long sip of my drink and looked at her as she smiled in pleasure at my words.

"Not going to bollock me again for wasting our travel fund then Ems?" she smirked. I felt a bit guilty at those words, I guess I had been a bit harsh when we arrived.

"I'm sorry about that Naoms, it was just, well it was a bit of a shock that's all." My curiosity struck me again. "Just how long _have_ you been planning this babe?"

I was dying to know how much time she's spent keeping this a secret from me, to find out how much effort she's put into her little surprise.

"Since I got the tickets for Goa. Well, before then really, but when I got the tickets that's when I arranged for us to stay specifically here. I booked both hotels at the same time."

"Four months? You've kept this a secret for four months?"

"Yeah, well sort of. I've been planning it for a lot longer though, just didn't know until then where to book it. Why do you think I was always broke last year? I was saving everything I earned doing those shitty part time jobs so I could do this for you, as well as put into the travel fund. I think it was one of those things that fucked me up a bit you know? I couldn't not do it, but I felt like I was drowning while I was doing it. I felt guilty about it the whole time as well, it felt like I was lying to you, you know, by not telling you the truth about what I'd planned. Even after it all came out I still felt that I'd lied to you a bit too much, after you took me back I still felt guilty because I still hadn't told you about it."

She looked for a second like her world had just collapsed around her and quickly I moved to sit next to her and grab her hands.

"Hey, we're not going there anymore ok? We left all that back in the airport remember? Anyway, it's not lying when you're keeping a surprise secret."

She looked up at me, her eyes still a little sad. "That's what Effy said when I told her about how I felt. I needed to talk to someone and I couldn't talk to you without running the surprise."

"Yeah? Well there you go then, if Effy 'all-knowing' Stonem told you, it must be true…and it's a lovely surprise babe. I love it already, and we haven't left reception yet. I love it and I love you; thanks for arranging this for us."

She perked up a bit at that, looking a bit more like herself.

"I didn't do this for us Ems," she said softly, staring into my eyes with such sadness, such love and adoration I almost felt like crying again. "I did this for you. This is all for you."

She took a deep breath, shook her head as if driving out her melancholy thoughts and looked straight at me again; her eyes now clearer, the little twinkle of pleasure and pride I'd seen earlier back in them, a little smile on her lips.

"Anyway, I thought you were calling Katie hun, we've got a room and a pool to investigate," she leant into me conspiratorially, whispering in my ear. "The pools got a swim up bar as well, I looked it up."

"You're kidding!" I exclaimed, perhaps a little too exuberantly, perhaps a little too much like a six year old. "Fucking hell Katie's going to really be jealous now, first class flight and a five star hotel with a bar in the pool. I am so going to rub this in."

"Well go call her and rub it in then Ems, I just hope Effy didn't break her promise and tell her."

"So do I, that would seriously spoil my fun."

o+o+o

_Naomi_

With Emily safely ensconced in the little telephone room at the back of reception I typed my login details into the public computer and accessed my e-mail account. I scanned through the header information and found a message from Effy sent presumably after the one Katie sent that Ems read yesterday.

_'Naomi, Hi!'_

_Hope you're having fun in India, hope that it's everything you hoped it would be, fuck knows you both deserve it. Don't know when you'll get this message, but just in case I'm still sure Emily will love that posh hotel. She wrote Katie a note just after you got there and she sounded like she was going to explode with happiness. I'm sure it'll still be the case._

_I've just told Katie where we're going for her birthday, she's pretty excited though she told me she knew I was planning something because she'd seen me looking at her passport when we moved. Sneaky little sod even found that guidebook on Paris you got me; I supposed I should have known she would be that devious and hid it better. We're going to leave soon for our little adventure, I think we're going to enjoy it._

_Dunno if Ems told you but Katie has got into Uni at home and is pretty happy about it, I think she wants to tell Emily first about what she's going to study. She keeps apologising for not telling me. It's nice when she's apologetic, she offers to cook amongst other things and you know how much I hate cooking._

_Anyway, boring myself now, everything's go for the birthday, I'm going to make Katie call Emily just after midnight Goa time, that way we won't disturb each other too much with our plans...hope that's still ok. I'll get her to call back about lunchtime, well lunchtime GMT anyway, that's about four in the afternoon there isn't it? Whatever, that's what Katie's going to do, ring about four in the afternoon your time. Hope that's ok with you, don't want to ruin anything you might have had planned for Emily's birthday. _

_and stop worrying about the present, you silly cow; she'll love it._

_Ef'_

Bloody girl, how can she be my best friend and act like that? She's thousands of miles away and she's still reading my fucking mind. It's not fucking right that she knows me that well and has the ability to tease me about it without any evidence to the contrary. I decided to fire an e-mail back straight away, just a short one because I don't want Ems to catch me typing what I type.

_'Hi Effy _

_Cool, all good. Enjoy, or should that be hope you enjoyed, your little trip with Katie._

_We've just checked in at the Marriott, I think she likes it. She's calling Katie right now to chat about it._

_and I'm *so* not worried, I know she'll love it so there...not so bloody psychic now are you mate?_

_Have fun with Katie, don't get too bored, speak soon._

_Nai'_

I pressed send on the message, logged out of my account and the computer and slipped back into one of the comfortable chairs in the reception area and waited for Emily. I wasn't a moment too soon because I had barely put the drink to my lips when I saw her re-appear from the telephone room, and despite the smile she gave me I can tell things didn't go as planned.

o+o+o

_Emily_

I tried calling Katie again, from the little telephone room off the main reception, only to get Effy's voice on the answering machine again. Feeling a little dispirited I left another message, this time with the new hotels telephone number, the international dialling code for India and our room number. I finished off by practically pleading with her to call me as soon as she got home. I really wanted to speak to Katie, and not just because I wanted to rub in what Naomi had done for us.

"Still no answer Ems?" Naomi asked as I wandered back into reception and flopped into the seat. I shook my head and she smiled sympathetically, getting up from her chair and sitting next to me; slipping her arm around my shoulders and giving me a hug.

"Hun they could be anywhere, the timing just sucks that's all. They could be out getting stuff for Uni, they could be out getting pissed. Did you leave them our details?"

I nodded in reply.

"Then perhaps they'll ring tonight. Perhaps Katie's waiting until tomorrow to ring you. International calls don't come that cheap and I'm sure she's going to want a long chat with you on your birthday. You do know she was a bit upset that you wouldn't be able to spend it together don't you?"

I looked at her blankly for a second and then it hit me, tomorrow _is_ my birthday. I'd been totally lost in that holiday time zone where days aren't even important let alone dates. It's my fucking birthday in a little under eight hours, how the fuck do you forget about that?

I guess it's easy when you've got beaches, sunsets and a tall blue-eyed blonde as distractions.

"You hadn't realised!" Naomi said, the astonishment on her face being replaced with a wicked grin. I could guess what was coming next.

"Jeez Ems, I know you're forgetful but this is a whole new level even for you. Forgetting your own birthday...wow."

I dug her in the ribs with my elbow getting a little 'oof' of surprise as I did so.

"Oi, shut up," I said pouting at her. "I didn't _think_ about it that's all, _someone_ has been keeping me busy day and night. I've not had much time to sit and think about what day it is let alone what date."

She smiled at my retort and kissed me on the forehead. "Fair enough, I have been a bit demanding I guess. Come on then birthday girl, let's go unpack and hit the pool. See if I can't keep you busy a bit longer. You never know," she teased, "you might forget again then it can be a proper birthday surprise when I remind you again."

She stuck her tongue out at my look of disgust, it was at that point I decided that it would be totally appropriate for a nearly-eighteen year old to chase her girlfriend across the mosaic and out of the reception area and down the road.

But fuck can she run fast when she wants to!

o+o+o

One brief chase and one short giggling fit later; Naomi led me back through reception and up a flight of stairs to the first floor. We turned the corner and with nothing more than a short walk down the corridor; I was stood in front of the door to our room.

"Close your eyes Ems."

I turned on my heels and looked at her suspiciously. "Why?"

"Humour me ok?"

"Ok, but don't try anything yeah?" I joked, "I know what you're like Miss Campbell, don't even think about taking advantage of me. Not until we're inside at least!"

"Trust me Ems," she said, smiling; but her voice sounding serious.

I can't ignore a request like that, not from her; not when I'm still trying my hardest to get her to accept that she can let herself trust and love me, and more importantly that she can let herself believe that I trust and love her. With no further comment being needed, I showed her that trust by turning to face the door and closing my eyes. I heard her put her key card into the door and turn the handle. I really wanted to peek as I heard the door open, but I kept my eyes screwed shut, wanting her to know I wouldn't betray her trust, even for something this simple.

"Keep those eyes shut hun, start walking forwards carefully. Don't worry I'm right here."

"I like it when you're bossy Naoms, you should do it more often." I teased, allowing myself to play along. I assume she's organised something for me in the room that she wants me to be surprised by; I hope it's a nice bouquet of flowers and some chocolates rather than the helium balloons that bedecked our leaving do. I felt her hands grip my hips as she guided me into the room. After some awkward shuffling of feet she managed to manoeuvre me to where she wanted me, and I heard the door close behind me as she stopped me to face whatever she had in store.

"No peeking," she insisted removing her hands from my hips and placing them around my waist. I could feel her breath on my ear as she leaned in and kissed my neck softly; my heart racing in anticipation and pleasure.

"Hope you like it," she whispered, "Take a look."

o+o+o

_Naomi_

She's gone quiet.

Fuck me I hope that's a good quiet and not a bad one.

I don't really know why I'm worrying. She said anything I'd organised would be perfect, but then she would say that; this is Emily Fitch we're talking about, and Emily Fitch is lovely to everyone.

She's even nice to her sister, most of the time; and for some reason, against all rational behaviour, she's decided to love me.

I can feel my heart racing in my chest with fear at what she was going to say. I'd done everything I could to make this short stay as perfect as I could. I'd not done anything for her birthday last year; not really. To be honest it wasn't until weeks later when Katie blurted out that they'd been taken out for a meal by Rob and Jenna for their birthday treat that I'd known when it was.

My girl was born on the 25th of August, a couple of days before that bloody quiz where I'd blurted out about the Yale open day to get my own back at Cook for his lesbian digs at me in Keith's pub. I hadn't known, to be honest it hadn't even occurred to me to find out, and I felt terrible about not knowing that simplest fucking detail about a girl I'd loved from afar for years.

I don't do birthdays, not my own and not other peoples. I don't do birthdays and I don't do parties. It's not much of an excuse but it's the only one I've got, it's the only truth I have as to why I never asked.

I'd spent the best part of an hour, when I finally found out, apologising to her for being a shit girlfriend; for being an insensitive bitch, for being me really. Emily said she didn't care, told me that she hadn't mentioned it because mum had explained to her one morning, when I was refusing to crawl out of the bed she'd just left me in, how I hate celebrating birthdays. Apparently she'd used the opportunity of quiet time with mum to innocently ask her when my birthday was; and mum, being mum, had gone on at length about how I used to scream whenever I was forced to dress up as a child and celebrate with the other kids. She told Emily every fucking detail about my tantrums, and my sulking; and how I'd finally convinced her, aged eight, that birthdays weren't my thing and she'd given up doing anything for me.

As soon as I'd finished apologising, however, I dashed out and got her a card, some flowers and a present. It wasn't much, I didn't really know what the fuck you're supposed to do; but flowers, card and present seem to be a pretty standard things to buy for a girl, so that's what I did.

Bless her, she told me that she loved each and every thing I'd done, however rushed and unplanned I thought it was. Cooing over every detail including the hastily scribbled _'I love you, I'm so very sorry this is late'_ I'd written in the card. That's what she is like, lovely.

I made a vow that I would get the next birthday right, that I'd treat her like a fucking princess if I could, to make up for being such a prick. I'd started saving that weekend, getting myself a part time job to help me save as much as I could.

I also made a vow that she'd not find out about my birthday from me, and I made damn sure mum promised not to tell her either. Ems hadn't been happy about it, insisting that I should celebrate my birthday with her, and that she would find out, one way or another, because she wanted to spoil me for a change. I guess there's lots of ways she could have found out, but by then it was far too late, my birthday had slipped by once again, unremarked and unnoticed by everyone; including me.

I had just asked her to understand my plea for her not to go digging for information; told her that forgetting I ever had a birthday would be a present for life for me. Told her when she looked at me with confusion and sadness that one day that I would explain why I felt the way I did. I never said _when_ I would explain though, I left that option open for the sake of my own sanity.

How do you explain to a girl you've only been properly seeing for a few weeks, a girl that you fucking adore and don't want to lose, that the reason you hate your birthday is that birthday cards, birthday presents and fucking birthday parties fill you with agony, pain and regret?

How can you tell a girl, whose eyes light up because you bought her a cheesy card, a fucking watch she'd mentioned one day in passing that she liked, and a bunch of cheap flowers, that birthdays fill you with self loathing because they represent everything that you wished you'd had and never got? How do you explain that birthdays make you cry?

You don't, so I didn't, hadn't and probably never would. I love her too much to risk spoiling something she loves with my own pathetic hang ups. But even so, even with all that baggage, I can put it all to one side to make sure that on _her_ special day she has a smile on her face; a smile that I can feel proud that I put there.

So on the afternoon of the 24th of August 2010 I wait in nervous anticipation to see if it was all worthwhile, all the long shifts, the shitty customers and the shitty bosses. If every penny I'd saved, and the money I'd borrowed from the University stash mum had set up for me with nine years of birthday 'gifts', would make my girlfriend happy; make her truly happy on a day I'd probably ruined for her last year because I was a selfish, shallow, uncaring twat.

Fuck I hope she loves it, I'm sure my heart would break if she doesn't.

.

.

.

**A/N -** Of course it was somewhere nice guys, Naomi said it would be...here and in Avalanche, don't you remember? lol I'll get a bit more of Emily's birthday treat out soon...promise!

Oh and TR, you're a cynic and I'm proud of you. Drama, me? I foreswore that didn't I? [walks off whistling]

Oh and I'm sure the girls are all upset you didn't drop them a mail, or perhaps not...they were probably busy (-:


	4. Birthday Surprises

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer –** I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent. Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame)

**Authors Note **– Well as Dave has finally found a nit-pick I can't get out of if I want to claim any kind of 'canon', (which I never really have, I've made up far too much for that), so I guess it'll have to be 2010; I'll fix that now...sorry for the inconvenience! Anyway, like I said it's not important, it was only my thought process and one number in Chapter 3 that needed changing. Just means I need to delete most of a previously written New Years chapter, ah well it was a good one as well, shame to see it go.

Though it did get me thinking, Skins' idea of timelines is hazy at best as far as I'm concerned. Seriously, a barbeque, in February? come on! Those poor girls would have had hypothermia standing out soaked to the skin like that on the 17th of February (the temp was -1 on that day in Bristol with a severe ground frost!) not a day for loose clothes and no coats and sitting in deckchairs, not to mention poor old James in his little swimsuit!

Oh and TR, Naomi says she logged into _"my"_ account, not '_their'_ account. No she wouldn't want her private messages about Emily's treat being found. No grand plan there, the e-mail is just a way of keeping up those "postcards" Jeez mate you must have been in a bad way when you read that. I've only had 21 hours sleep since last Saturday morning and you sound worse off than me! Get well soon.

Oh, and a huge happy birthday to the infamously quirky Ladyhawk...have/hope you had a great 100th (-;

Now I really must get back to writing CP, or chapter 5 of this...or both. Anyway, as usual enjoy!

**Chapter 4 - Birthday Surprises**

_Emily_

_"Hope you like it. Take a look."_

I can hear the hint of nerves in her voice, I can feel her heart racing as her chest pushes into my back; and I can feel her hands trembling as they rest on my stomach. Part of me can't believe that she would be so nervous about showing me a room; but then I remember that she's planned all this out for my birthday and she probably wants it to be special.

Well Naomi Campbell, we could be in a windowless box room in the shabbiest hotel in India and it would still be special. Though I suspect that in this hotel even the smallest box room would be pretty fucking awesome, it's that kind of place.

"Go on Ems, open your eyes," she urged and slowly I raised my eyelids and looked at the place where we would spend the next four nights together.

It's perfect.

It's more than perfect, it's fucking beautiful.

As I take in the room my eyes are instantly drawn to the large window opposite me and the view of the water outside. I can see clear across the bay to the far bank in the distance, a view I'd looked at as we'd strolled along Miramar beach just this morning.

I've got a hotel room with a view of the bay, how cool is that?

As I struggle to take it all in I can see we also have a small balcony with a couple of chairs and a table and then I clap my eyes on the biggest bed I've ever seen. It's huge, it looks bigger than king sized and it could have been stolen straight from the pages of a fairy tale, the mattress is so thick I wouldn't be surprised if someone had put a pea underneath it to see if we were royalty.

For a girl that's slept in a single bed for most of her life, sharing a double bed with your girlfriend was a huge improvement, and not just because of the space. Sharing a king sized, massive luxury bed with your girlfriend is going to be hard to beat; I'm just dying to flop down on it and stretch out; ideally with a certain blonde on top of me, or underneath me, or next to me. I don't really care where she is as long as she's with me though, that's the important part; that bed would be nothing without her in it with me, that I do know. I also know that it's so big that mattress it looks like we could have a great bouncy castle experience on it, again!

"Ems, what do you think?"

I could feel her eyes boring in to me and I realise that it's been ages since she asked me to look; I'd been too busy taking it all in, and fucking day dreaming about me and her on that bed to say anything to her about it all. I knew she was nervous about my reaction and I'd done nothing, said nothing, like an idiot.

I can feel the tears of happiness trickling down my face as I stroked the back of her hands; as finally I tried to tell her how much it meant to me. I tried to speak, tried to tell her how wonderful it was; but the words just wouldn't come.

I'd been struck dumb by the _sentiment_ as much as the actual room; she's done this for me, she's planned all of this just for me. No one has ever done anything like this for me, not _just_ for me. All my life things have been done for me _and_ Katie; and if I'm honest in my memories, nearly everything was based around what Katie wanted. I think that this is the very first time that someone has thought about what _I_ might like on my birthday; considered no one else but Emily Anne Fitch.

"You ok Ems?"

I nodded, lips pressed tightly together to stop the sobs coming through and sniffing away.

"Like I said, I couldn't afford the _really_ expensive rooms. I really wanted to hun, but I saw a great deal on this one and because I could get the meals included in the online booking for a few quid more a day; plus we got the hotel credits and all that it seemed like too good an offer to give up so I had to compromise. I thought you'd like the bay view more than the garden view though so I paid the bit extra for that, and I knew you'd like the balcony so I just had to have that as well."

I tuned out her nervous, JJ like, babbling for just a second, studying the room I'm stood in. If this is a cheap room I'd expect the more expensive ones to have gold floors and a diamond encrusted headboard. I'd have been more than happy with a room like our old one, this is not even in the same country let alone the same league; from the polished terracotta coloured tiles to the huge television in its cabinet this is light years ahead of anything I'd expected to stay in on our trip.

"Go on then, don't just stand there I know you're just dying to throw yourself onto that bed."

I took a big breath in and held it, trying to compose myself, trying not to laugh and cry at the same time. She knows me too fucking well for someone that kicks herself regularly and tells me that she doesn't really know me at all. This time however, she's totally wrong; there's only one thing I want to throw myself on and she's stood just behind me…and I'm going to do something about that right now!

"Naoms," I blurted out, turning around throwing my arms around her neck and my legs around her waist, thankful for the hands that cupped my buttocks stopping me from slipping. "It's perfect, it's just fucking perfect. Thank you, thank you for doing this for me."

I could feel her tension evaporate as her shoulders dropped slightly and she let out her breath, relaxing into my hold. "Thank fuck for that, you had me worried then Ems, I thought for a second you wouldn't like it."

I pulled at her neck until she leaned down towards me and I carefully placed my lips against hers, tasting the faint hint of the fruit punch once more.

"What's…not …to like...you daft...soppy...twat?" I asked between soft kisses, feeling the wetness from my tears as her thumbs brushed tenderly across my cheeks wiping them away.

"I don't know Ems, it's just, well you know I had this idea in my head of how this moment would be. I wanted this to be perfect and I was nervous that's all, I've been planning this moment for ages now."

"Well you succeeded babe, in fact you've probably exceeded your plans because I can't think of a better room than this. I don't think I ever want to leave it."

She grinned at me and raised an eyebrow, "well as nice an idea that is, spending four days in this room with you, there's loads to do here. We should really make a start."

"You're right," I said, letting go of her reluctantly, "I think we should _start_ by testing out that bed Naoms, it looks, very, very bouncy."

"Oh it is Ems, trust me; it definitely is. I tried it when I came up for your phone card."

o+o+o

We kicked off our hiking boots and bounced around on the bed for a bit, just for a laugh, and Naoms was right, it was very bouncy; it was also very comfortable and I'm afraid, with my usual laziness, I left her to do the unpacking as I stretched out on that huge mattress and just stared at the ceiling.

As I lay there I heard a snort of amusement and the unmistakable click of her digital camera.

"Naomi, what that fuck?" I asked in surprise, rolling onto my front and staring at her. She just smirked at me and took another picture.

"Bugger off, I must look terrible."

"Hun you look great, see?" She walked over and sat on the bed and showed me the display on the back of the camera. I looked at the screen and saw nothing but a small girl on a huge bed.

"I look fucking tiny on this bed" I exclaimed.

"You _are_ tiny on that bed Ems," she replied with a grin, "but it's a giant sized bed to match that giant sized smile on your face."

I looked closely at the tiny screen and noticed that she was right, despite the messed up hair and the scruffy travelling clothes, I had a huge smile on my face as I lay on that bed. As I looked she flicked onto the next picture, the one of me rolled on my front with my head resting on my hands as I'd stared at her.

"I like this one as well," she said; leaving me with the camera. "You look pretty happy there too." She kissed me on the head then and went back to her unpacking, tossing some T-Shirts out of her rucksack and into the drawer at the bottom of the wardrobe.

"Naoms?" I started as I watched her work.

"Yeah babe?"

"I love you."

Her face lit up as I said those words and I clicked the button on the camera to capture the moment. Far too often those words are overused, said without the feeling that is supposed to be behind them. Not with us though, never when I say them to her.

"I love everything about you," I told her earnestly, "I love how much effort you've put into this for me. You're awesome you know that? I'm so lucky to have you."

She blushed, her eyes fixed on the shoes she was putting into the wardrobe. My Naomi's a bag of contradictions but I love her for it; she's confident and yet sometimes painfully shy, conceited and yet humble, fiercely independent and yet so very, very needy. I still can't really believe just how nervous she was of my reaction to her surprise, can't believe that she wouldn't have known that I'd love it to bits.

"You want to get out of here hun? Go and explore; perhaps hit that pool?" she asked hiding behind her long hair, still not meeting my gaze; her cheeks still a beautiful shade of light pink.

"Not really babe," I told her, "I'd rather you came over here and relaxed for a bit."

"I am relaxed Ems," she replied, her face recovering, finally capable of meeting my eyes. "I am now anyway, I've finished unpacking our stuff."

She picked up our, now empty, bags and tossed them onto the top of the wardrobe, closing the door with her foot as she did so. Finally she came over to the bed and flopped down next to me.

"Now that's much better," I said as I pulled her down to lie next to me, snuggling into her side as soon as she stretched out. "Much, much better in fact."

"Hey you, you ok?"

"I gripped her arm tighter, "Will you stop asking me that Naomi? I'm more than ok. I love my surprise babe, love it more than I can tell you."

"Good," she replied rolling over to face me. She wrapped her arm around me and into my hair, pushing her face close to mine, staring intently into my eyes; fixing me with her baby blues.

"You're more than worth it Ems, it was worth every working hour to see that smile on your face. You mean the world to me Emily Fitch, you know that don't you?"

"I know babe, I understand. I feel the same way. Now do me a favour?"

"Anything hun."

"Shut up and kiss me."

o+o+o

A, far too short, hour and a half later and we're out of that fantastic bed and in the pool. One of the many fantastic things we've discovered about this hotel is that there seem to be sun loungers for everyone. It's not that busy here today and we'd managed to stroll downstairs and sit down without the traditional holiday fight for the seats. The sun is still hammering down, despite it being early evening, and slipping into the cool waters of the pool is almost as welcome as the drink Naomi's just ordered for me from the swim up bar.

"This is the life babe," I said as I swam up to the submerged 'stool' in front of the bar and sat down next to her. "I could seriously get used to this."

"Know what you mean hun, makes Bristol's water park look like a shithole doesn't it?"

"Bristol's water park _is_ a shithole Nai, even Katie only ever went there to try and pull boys in the summer. She wouldn't be seen dead there any other time."

"That's not the only thing she did there Ems, if you believe the gossip anyway." She winked at me as I frowned at her. "Just what I heard hun, I never said it was true."

I can't get mad at her for the veiled jibe at my sister. I know a lot about what Katie used to get up to in that park, mainly because she used to come home and tell me all about it. Not a pleasant experience I can tell you, unnecessarily graphic would be one way of describing it; cringe worthy would be another.

"Katie thinks Effy's going to surprise her with a trip to Paris or something for her birthday." I said, trying to move the subject onto nicer things than Katie's old bad habits.

"Really? That's nice."

I could feel the hairs raise on the back of my neck; that was said in far too casual a manner for Naomi. There wasn't any hint of sarcasm, no snort of amusement not even the hint of any real interest; just a casual reply.

"Come on Nai out with it?"

"What?" she asked innocently, far too innocently actually.

"I know you Naomi Campbell, you know something." She took a sip of her drink and grinned at me.

"That obvious hun? I guess I really can't keep anything from you can I?"

"No, well obviously you can because I didn't know about this little treat; but I know you well enough to know that you know something about this."

"Well Effy did mention taking Katie away for her birthday; she asked me if I thought taking Katie away for her birthday would be a little soon for them."

"and..?"

God she can be frustrating at times. She took another sip of her drink before replying.

"and I told her that I'm sure it wasn't, and she should go for it if that's what she wanted to do."

I gave her my best hard stare, which I guess was totally ruined by the corners of my mouth twitching as I fought not to smile at her 'oh-so-innocent' look.

"Naomi, you know what I meant! _Where_ is Effy taking my sister for her birthday?"

"Well Paris was my idea, I got Effy a guide book so she could find all the romantic spots. She was talking about going to Venice again, but we thought that it might be a bit close to home, you know with her mum moving there."

"_Naomi_," I nearly screamed at her in frustration, "_where_ are they _going_?"

"Ems, I promised Effy I wouldn't tell you; just in case you accidentally let on to Katie that you knew. She thought Katie might want to tell you herself. I wasn't even supposed to tell you that she was taking her away."

"Yeah well now you have so what's the problem? Come on Naoms tell me."

She splashed me, the water nearly going into my drink which I covered protectively with my hand.

"Technically Ems I told you nothing, you've guessed it; and besides, would you like it if Effy told Katie about us being here? You know you want to surprise her with where we actually are, would it be fair on them both if I spoilt Katie's fun?"

I hate it when she does that, I really want to know, I know she knows, yet she's given me a really good reason as to why she can't tell me. I can't even demand she tells me because it I know she's keeping their secret for a good reason.

"You can go off people you know?"

"Aw Ems, don't be like that. But please; if Katie doesn't mention anything, don't ask. You know they'll both kill me if they thought I'd let something slip."

"What's in it for me Campbell?" I asked cheekily.

"Well I did have a big romantic meal on the terrace planned, followed by a bit of dancing and perhaps a moonlit stroll along the beach; would that do?" She asked slipping off her stool and kissing my cheek before swimming away.

"Yeah," I muttered to no-one in particular, watching her lithe frame as she swam across the pool, "that will do nicely."

o+o+o

_Naomi_

Today's been a good day, a very good day in fact. One of my better days on this little trip and most of them have been pretty damn good.

I made Emily smile, all my plans went according to, well plan; and I'm finally able to relax a bit. My only remaining worries being that the call from Katie will happen at the right time, and that Emily will like her present.

I lounged in the pool as the early evening drew in. I was leaning against the side, looking out at the bay; watching the boats as they hustled their way along the waterway, carrying their cargoes from one place to another. It seemed like a different world for them, having to deal with the hustle and bustle of daily life. I've only been in Goa for a week or so, only been in this hotel for a couple of hours but I feel like I've been packed in cotton wool, insulated from everything else that exists in the world, wrapped up in an Emily Fitch shaped cocoon.

I don't think I've been happier in my entire life; it turns out that mum was right all these years, there's something wonderful about being selfless, something very beautiful about putting yourself out for someone else, someone special.

"You thinking again Nai? It's getting to be a habit that."

Talking of someone special here she is. "Hey you." I said, an inadequate greeting for someone so lovely; but it gets her attention.

"What you looking at babe?"

"Well at the moment a gorgeous red head." I replied, trying the compliment, but failing not to smile stupidly at my own cheesiness.

I got a grin in response as she turned to look out at the river mouth and the bay beyond.

"Great view."

I slowly and deliberately looked her up and down, well the bits I could see clearly above the water.

"No kidding."

"Jeez Naoms, you've got a one track mind."

"Yeah well, I doubt anyone would blame me with you around Ems."

She just laughed at me; I love hearing her laugh, it makes me sound like a soppy twat but I genuinely feel warm when she laughs like that at something I do or say. She makes me feel clever, and erudite and funny, when she does.

"Want another drink Ems?" I asked nodding towards the swim bar. She shook her head, staring out at the passing boats.

"You trying to get me drunk babe? Planning to take advantage of me in that big bed while I'm pissed?"

"Not at all hun," I told her, putting on my hurt voice, "I've _never_ thought of getting you drunk to do that. A little tipsy is always good though, you're fun when you're tipsy."

"Oh tipsy is fine babe, drunk isn't though not tonight anyway. I kind of wanted to be sober for that romantic evening meal you promised me. I've been looking forward to that since you mentioned it to me."

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to that as well; so if you don't want a drink, do you want to head upstairs and get changed? I think I'd like to have a long soak in the bath before dinner, I've booked a table for eight in the restaurant here if that's ok with you."

"Sounds great babe," she told me, a big grin on her face again.

Seriously, the next time we have an argument, and touch wood that's not any time soon, I'm going to make sure I have food with me; because the mere mention of eating seems to cheer her up. I still have no idea where she puts it all. She looks better than ever since we've been here and yet I don't think she's stopped eating since we got here.

I watched as she heaved herself effortlessly out of the pool, water running down her back, across her bikini bottoms and down her tanned legs. I've looked at her a lot over the years, I've looked at her a lot more over the last month or so, since the second time when I nearly ruined everything we have, she still does it for me though; she's still the one person out of everyone I've been with that makes my heart race with just a step, makes my mouth go dry at a simple twist of the head and makes my brain melt into a puddle with a flash of those brown eyes.

I stood in the water of that pool and watched her as she walked back around the edge to our loungers and grabbed her towel; shaking out that dramatic red hair and roughly rubbing it dry. Whatever magical sense she has must have told her what I was doing, and she looked up from her towel and poked her tongue out at me. I could feel the edges of my mouth curl upwards into a pathetically broad grin.

Fucking hell, if my old friends could see me now they'd be sat on those loungers laughing their arses off. Naomi Campbell, hardened activist, plague of officialdom, verbal terror of the street protest, is standing in a pool looking at her girlfriend with the stupidest grin on her face. I can almost hear Cook's teasing, could almost feel Effy's amused look.

Fuck I'm pathetic; no that's not quite right. Fuck I'm _happy_; _she_ makes me happy. I can't help myself and that scares me just a little.

"You coming Naoms?" she called across to me. I nodded and swam across the pool to the steps and climbed out. Ems was waiting for me, holding out my towel, wrapping it around my shoulders and rubbing my back dry as I stepped into it.

"You know, that idea of a bath was a good one, I think I could do with a nice warm soaking."

"Yeah, showers are great, but you can't beat a hot bath every now and again." I replied, rubbing at my body with the towel.

"I know what you mean," Ems said picking up the bag we'd carried our stuff down in and pulling out her long skirt-shirt and slipping it over her swimwear.

"So, you think there's room to share?" she asked casually, staring right at me; eyes twinkling with unspoken mischief. Well two of us can play the casual game

"Pretty sure there's room hun, especially for you."

"Good, shall we then?"

I nodded, slipping on my over shirt. As she walked away, her bottom swinging most deliciously as she swung her hips from side to side, I had a great idea.

Actually make that two great ideas, but only one I could do something about right this second. I dashed over to the bar and waited until the bartender climbed up the steps to the upper bar.

Moments later I headed back into the hotel, the two glasses of fruit punch I'd just bought gripped in my hands.

"Thought if we were going to relax a drink might be nice babe."

"Thought you didn't think we should take drinks like that back to our room."

"Actually I just wanted to have my hands free so I could surprise you with the room hun, didn't want the extra hassle of juggling you _and_ two glasses."

Yeah, so I'd had to think on my feet when we were in reception, it had kind of worked.

"You're a devious bugger Naomi Campbell," she said to me, taking one of the glasses from my hands. "You think far too much, and you're far too clever."

I smiled and gestured towards the stairs, Ems primly turned on her toes and walked away, sashaying dramatically as she turned the corner and headed up the stairs to our floor. I could feel my face starting to physically hurt as my grin got wider.

_'Fuck I love that girl, what the fuck was my life like without her?' _

Her head appeared back around the corner and crooked a finger towards me, summoning me; and like an obedient puppy I followed her back to our room and the wonders of a hot bath and a hot girl.

_'Lonely, that's what it was like. Lonely and miserable.'_

o+o+o

_Emily_

She never fails to amaze me my Naomi, we've been in this hotel for less than five hours and she's made every single moment of those five hours something really special, something utterly memorable.

Even down to dinner this evening, which has been just stunning. She's still nervous about something I can clearly tell that, her body language just screams it. The little laugh she does at the end of a sentence, the little looks she gives me when she thinks I'm concentrating on something else, looks that betray her, looks that scream worry.

A year ago I'd be terrified that she was scared; scared of being sat here with me, scared that people are looking at us, judging us, judging her. I'm not terrified of that any more, she's more than proved to me that she wants to be with me, that she's not scared of _us_ anymore. I'm sure she's up to something though and I'm sure it's something to do with my birthday and that's why she's nervous. She's been like this all day, it's only now that I'm really noticing it and it's really quite amusing; cute even.

I'm not going to ask her about it though, I'm going to pretend like I haven't even seen it. I'm touched that she has gone to so much trouble for me, that she's thought about everything down to the smallest detail and I'm just going to enjoy the moments for what they are; special.

Carefully planned to be special.

I'm even sure she had planned the bath we took, planned how she would mention it knowing that I wouldn't be able to resist joining her; planned the careful seduction of the fruit drinks with just a splash of white rum to pep them up. I'm positive that she planned in her head just how she was going to slide me out of my clothes and into the hot water; and planned how she could manoeuvre me into her arms as we soaked, my back pressed into her chest, just enjoying the moments where her fingers pressed against my skin, touching me all over; loving the fact that we could spend this much time together with nothing to affect us, no family, no friends, just me and her.

I actually quite like it that way, I wish it could be like this forever.

There will be a time soon where I'll ask her about all of this, about all the care and attention she's lavished on this surprise; and when the moment is right she'll tell me why she's done it. I know from talking to mum that she's got a real thing about birthdays, I know that because she spent ages last year apologising to me for not knowing when my birthday actually was.

I'm sure that's what all this is about, her wanting to make this one special; but she'll tell me when she's ready. Besides, if I ask her too soon it might ruin whatever she's got in store for me and that really isn't part of the plan, hers or mine.

So the day before my birthday has been pretty fucking wonderful so far; great hotel, great room, great afternoon and a great fucking meal. I've eaten far more than is good for me and we've had a couple of cocktails more than I'd anticipated. I'm full, happy and just a little bit tipsy. We decided to sit outside on the hotel restaurants little balcony next to the pool, overlooking the bay and the little rocky shoreline. The only thing this place is missing is a proper beach, but I know that a short walk will take us back to the one I love so much, so it's pretty much perfect.

I keep using that word, but it's the only one that really fits.

"You finished hun?"

I look up from the remnants of my dessert; really I shouldn't have eaten it, I'm feeling so full; but the food here really was great. Naomi's promised me a meal in the hotel's premier Asian food restaurant tomorrow, but to be honest I don't see a problem with eating here. After eating my own three course meal and sampling bits of hers I would have no problem in coming back again and again.

Especially if she feeds tid-bits from her own meal like she did tonight, it's really kind of sexy.

"I'm stuffed babe, I'm not sure I could move."

"Does that mean you want to forego the walk, and the dancing?"

"Not a chance babe, I think I just need to sit and relax a little first. Is that ok?"

She smiled at me and waved her fork in my direction, distracting me because it's got a piece of cream covered pineapple on it that's dripping onto the table. "There's no rush hun, no timescale to this evening. As long as you have fun, well that's fine by me."

A word bobs through my mind as she placed the piece of fruit into her mouth and carefully wiped up the drop of cream that had dripped onto her chin; licking it off her finger with an unconscious eroticism that makes me want to do nothing more than jump her again, here and now. The word drifted around in my jumbled and sexually charged head until it found her name and latched onto it, bringing everything into perfect clarity.

Thoughtful, that's what she is; thoughtful.

It's the trait I'd known about, but never really noticed in this amount of detail. Ever since we'd got back together, ever since we left on our trip to London she's been nothing but thoughtful. Whether it was simply talking to me about how she felt, holding me protectively in my sleep, tucking my feet up into the duvet because she knows I'm scared that someone will pull me under the bed if they're not, or even casually buying me a new shirt at an airport because she thought I'd feel better if I got changed.

Thoughtful, that's what she's been, that's what she is.

I really do like the new her; I liked the old her, _loved_ the old her; attitude and all. But this one is even better. The new her treats me like I'm special, the new her makes me think that I'm lost in a wonderful dream. If I am; I never, ever, want to wake up.

I picked up my drink, and took a long sip. I'd ordered it on a whim from the cocktail menu, getting the response of a raised eyebrow from her as I did so. As I raised the famous 'sex on the beach' to her, I got a smile from my girl as the name brought back memories of last night to both of us. I don't really like cranberry juice all that much, but it's worth it to see her eyes light up at every sip and darken noticeably as I lick my lips as slowly as I can after every mouthful.

"Enjoying that Ems?" she asked, with the faintest of winks that I barely saw in the candlelight.

"Absolutely Naoms, I love good 'sex on the beach' and this really is a good one, not as good as my last, but a lot less salty."

I felt her bare foot run up the inside of my calf and she smiled at the slight shudder that my body gave as her toes brushed the back of my knee, a spot she knows all too well I'm very sensitive in.

"Love you hun," she said simply her foot continuing its gentle stroking.

"I know."

o+o+o

Hours later and we're back by the pool, once I'd been capable of moving Naomi had took me by the hand and led me off into the night and back on the short walk to Miramar beach. As walks go it was wonderful, holding hands and talking whenever we felt like it, nothing forced or uncomfortable, we just existed, together and as one as we needed to.

She took me to a local dance bar, very obviously catering for tourists, and we'd spent a happy couple of hours drinking and dancing in its pseudo-club atmosphere. I felt positively ancient as eleven o'clock drew around and to my relief she apologised, telling me that she was done in and asking if I minded us going back to the hotel. I knew what she meant, I simply couldn't dance anymore and frankly all I really wanted was to welcome in my birthday somewhere quiet with the girl I love.

Finally we wandered along the top portion of the beach, my shoes in one hand Naomi's hand grasped tightly in my other. It was a shame that we were far from our favourite spot for our evening walk, but as usual we talked about our best and worst parts of the day.

"My worst part has to be leaving Tanish and his hotel, I loved it there." I confessed, remembering how disappointed I'd been as we drove away in the taxi. "Best bit is everything else. Waking up with you on the beach, coming here, everything. What about you babe?"

"Worst part was shitting myself that you'd blow your top about staying here, that you'd think it was a total waste of money and I should have just put more into the travel kitty. Best bit has been watching you enjoy yourself hun, just watching you smile that's been the best bit for me by far."

I squeezed her arm affectionately and pressed my head into her shoulder as we walked back to the hotel. There was one thing that refused to quit nagging me in my head, and I decided to risk asking it in our moment of absolute honesty.

"You're still nervous about something though babe, you've been on edge this evening I can tell. Do you want to talk about it? I want you to enjoy this stay as much as I am, I don't want anything between us."

"It's your birthday in an hour or so Ems, I don't want to fuck it up again that's all."

"Again?" I asked, "since when have you fucked up my birthday?"

"Last year! I didn't know it was your birthday, so I didn't get you a card, or a present or anything. You didn't get _anything_ from the person that was supposed to be your girlfriend on your birthday. That must have sucked and I'm sure that it would have upset you. This year I promised myself that I'd make it up to you, and I want it to be flawless."

...and so there it is, I fucking knew it. She's still feeling guilty about last year and has gone utterly over the top this time to make up for it. I really should yell at her for being so daft, for not realising that I understood all about last year; but I don't want to fuck this up for her either.

But I don't want her to even doubt for a microsecond that this is anything but flawless; because so far that's _exactly_ what it has been. In fact if this is the night before my birthday, I can only dream about what she's actually planned for my birthday itself. I rather selfishly hope that it involves lots of room service, me, her and that king sized bed.

Oh and oils, lots and lots of oils.

"Naomi, would you please stop doing that?" I begged her as we walked off the beach and onto the narrow road that led towards our hotel.

"Stop what hun?" she stammered nervously.

"Stop blaming yourself for not knowing about my birthday last year, it's not as if I made a big fuss about it. Anyway, I loved my watch and my flowers, so what if they were a bit late, I never got you anything for your birthday, did I?"

I held up my wrist, reminding her that I still had that watch she bought me, the one I wore almost constantly now.

"Besides, you want flawless, you've got flawless. What on earth could go wrong Naoms? Dinner, dancing, romantic strolls. I'm loving it so much I can't tell you. I do like the idea of showing you though babe, in that big comfy bed of ours."

"Emily Fitch," she blurted out through a broad smile, "and you accused _me_ of having a one track mind, you're insatiable!"

"You complaining?"

"Not one bit."

o+o+o

Midnight rolled around before I even realised it, and along with it my eighteenth birthday. Someone knew about it though, someone was keeping a very careful note of the time indeed. Naomi excused herself from my arms, telling me she needed the bathroom and slipped away, leaving me to stare at the stars. Moments later I heard her return and looked down from the heavens to see her standing in front of me with a huge bunch of flowers.

"It's midnight Ems...happy birthday my love." she handed me the flowers and knelt down next to me, pulling me into a tender kiss.

"I love you Ems, thank you for being with me. You're making this trip really special. Have a great day; let me _make_ it a great day for you; you deserve it and a whole lot more."

I'm forced to press my lips together tightly as she spoke, biting down to try and compose myself. It's not working for me this time as I feel my heart lurch as the tenderness of her words washes over me like the surf on our beach. I know I'm crying again, I've cried so many tears over her, both good and bad, but I begrudge her these happy tears not one bit. I placed the flowers into my lap and reached out to her, wrapping my hands into her blonde hair and pulling her back to my lips; loving how good we feel together, how well we fit whenever we do this.

"Thanks Naoms, you know how to make a girl feel special on her birthday, the flowers are beautiful, you're beautiful; I love you too. Thank you for being mine."

We're interrupted from our embrace by a soft cough from behind us and I turned to see one of the reception staff stood a few paces away, holding one of the hotel phones.

"Miss Fitch, you have a call if you would like to take it."

I looked at him blankly as Naomi took the phone and pressed it into my hand. "I think you should take this sweetheart, I think this is the call you've been hoping for."

She kissed me on the forehead and slipped out of view for a second as I raised the phone to my ear and pressed the button to un-mute the call.

"Hello?"

_"Emsy is that you?"_

I heard the distant sounding voice of my sister and felt my heart lurch for at least the second time tonight.

"KATIE!" I practically shouted into the mouthpiece; "happy birthday sis."

_"Happy birthday to you as well junior. How does it feel to be eighteen finally?"_

Junior was her traditional comment to me on our birthday. I looked at my watch and sure enough it was well past midnight. She always made the point of waiting at least the four minutes that separated us to wish me happy birthday, calling me junior as she did so; a reminder that she was older than me. _'Funny'_, I thought to myself as she spoke; _'because with the time difference between here and Europe, for once I'm actually older than she is. She's still seventeen wherever she is.'_

"Feels great Katie, how's it feel to be younger than me for the first time in our lives?"

I heard a snort down the phone, _"You're still the baby sis, no matter what the time zones might tell you. I was still the first born, geography can't change that. It's great to hear you Ems."_

"It's great to hear your voice, "I told her back, "I've been calling you for days."

_"I know Ems, Effy and I have been a bit busy you know settling into the flat, getting ready for Uni. Then she springs this trip on me you know? It's been a bit mad; good mad you know?"_

"So glad you're happy Kay, where has Effy taken you, are you in Paris?"

_"No we're not in Paris Ems, but it's just as nice. Ems, hang on a second."_

Her voice went distant for a second as if she'd placed her hand over the mouthpiece, sure enough I could hear her faintly talking in the background.

_"I know Ef, but I want to speak to Emily for a bit, I'll be there in a second ok? Get me a rum and coke babe, thanks."_

Katie's voice came clearer as she finished talking to her girlfriend.

_"Sorry Emsy, Effy's wanting to go and get something to eat and drink; our flight got delayed and we've not long arrived and frankly we're starving. Listen, Can I call you tomorrow? If you and Blondie can stop shagging for a bit we can have a proper chat on our birthday; if I call you about four your time that'll give you a chance to enjoy your birthday with Naomi and I can enjoy mine with Effy and then we can swap stories. I'm dying to know where you are, Effy knows but she won't tell me, I hope that daft lezzer has done something special for you."_

I'm disappointed, but not by much. It's been great to hear from Katie, and I do want a long chat with her but she's right; tomorrow afternoon will do.

"That sounds great sis, I'll make sure my calendar is free; and yes she's done something special, something very special in fact. I'll make sure I'm sat by the pool so I can tell you just how lovely it is where I am. I'll make sure I've got a nice cold drink with me and I can chat to you whilst I rub sun cream into Naomi's back. It'll be great."

_"Ew Ems, please; I've got to go and eat in a second, did you really have to put that image into my head?"_

"Sure did Kay," I laughed, "I wanted you to know why I might not answer the phone."

_"You'd better answer the phone bitch. I want to talk to you properly."_

Katie's voice suddenly became more serious, a hint of hurt creeping into it.

_"This is weird Emsy, we've never not said happy birthday to each other face to face. I'm not sure I like it; I miss you sis. Effy's been awesome, but you know..."_

She tailed off before her voice went back to normal again.

_"I've missed having someone to remind me how good looking I am, and how much better I look in clothes. I've missed having my doormat around Emsy."_

"I'm not your doormat any more Kay, and you know it."

"Damn right," I heard Naomi mutter from beside me; I flashed her a brief smile and continued.

"But I've missed you as well Katie, I'm really glad you rang, it's nice to hear your voice. Even if it is to remind me that I'm the nice twin and not the mouthy arrogant one."

_"Pah!"_ she replied and we both laughed. _"You're still jealous that I got more boys than you, and I got the best looking girl in college as well."_

I glanced across at Naomi and studied her perfect features, her eyes, her nose, her lips; "I know you're wrong there Kay, I really believe I got the better deal out of the two of us."

Naomi looked across at me, fluttering her eyelashes at me with an amused grin on her lips. I blew her a kiss as Katie rambled on.

_"Yeah well I know you're wrong too Emsy; look I've got to go I'm about to run out of credit. I'll speak to you tomorrow and you can tell me all about your day. Happy Birthday Emily Fitch."_

"Happy Birthday Katherine Fitch, " I replied instinctively, "speak to you tomorrow. Love you, miss you."

_"Yeah me too sis, speak..."_

The phone went dead as presumably her credit ran out. I placed the phone back on the table with another happy smile on my face.

"Feeling better now?"

I nodded, "I was feeling great before she called Nai, obviously." I said, picking up the flowers and inhaling their fragrance. "But yes, I'm glad she called, it means a lot."

Naomi nodded and smiled back, I was suddenly hit with a sense of understanding; a eureka moment when two and two make four and the magic eye poster stops being a collection of odd shapes and finally becomes a 3D dolphin. I'm suddenly very, very sure of the truth.

"You knew didn't you? You knew she'd call me on our birthday, that's why you made sure we came back early."

Naomi shrugged and tried to look innocent. "Effy _may_ have e-mailed me to tell me she would get Katie to ring you at midnight. I _may_ have passed her the hotel phone number so she could call and pass the phone onto Katie as a bit of a surprise."

I'm stunned again, just when I think she's thought of everything she delivers another surprise.

"You're wonderful, you know that?"

"You're beautiful."

I could feel my cheeks flush as she looked at me, love and affection painted all over her face for anyone to see; a look I know is for me, and only ever for me. I buried my nose into the flowers once more, hiding the tears that are about to fall again.

"Anyway, a drink to celebrate I think," she said beckoning over a waiter. He came with a tray carrying two glasses of bubbly on them, placing each in front of us before retreating leaving the tray on the table.

"To you Ems," my wonderful girlfriend said, raising her glass and tilting it towards me. "To the most beautiful girl in the world on her eighteenth birthday."

"Thanks babe," I replied slightly embarrassed as she clinked our glasses together. "Could you make this any more perfect?"

"I hope I can hun," she said pushing the waiters tray over to me and pulling away the white cloth that covered it.

"I wanted to get you a proper present this year Ems, I really hope you like it."

I looked down at the red leather box on the silver tray and bit my lip again, looking up at her with tears falling again.

"Naomi, you didn't have to; all this, it's just too much. I don't deserve it."

"You, my love, deserve all of this and a whole lot more, I've told you that before. Now go on, put me out of my misery, open your present."

With shaking hands I cracked open the lid of the box and looked at the items within, I could hear the pulse pound in my temple and my breath catch as I looked down at the contents.

"Oh God Naomi, they're beautiful; they're really, really beautiful.

.

.

.

**A/N -** It's not a cliff hanger, it's a teaser; honest!

Oh and TigerRam, you're far too clever hun, seriously I'm sure you need to start putting spoiler warnings on your reviews just in case. Do you have access to my HDD by any chance, because I swear, as fast as I can type out the scribblings in my notebook you're speculating on them!


	5. A Long Time Ago, and 4000 Miles Away

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer –** I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent. Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame)

**Authors Note **– Sorry, should have been up Tuesday, but I got sent away by work and stayed in a hotel where you get ZERO wireless signal for my internet connection. I mean, what kind of a backwards hell hole doesn't have wireless internet, even over 3G? That's right, fucking Bristol... Johnny White was right, provincial, no ambition, no bloody internet in my hotel )-:

I didn't go out though, they're only filming Gen 3 so I'm not bothered...now if the movie was on I'd be stalking like one Emily Fitch! So fear not, I used my time wisely wrapping myself in a Naomily blanket and typing until my fingers bled (-:

Hope you like this one, more fluff...well mostly (-;

**Chapter 5 – A Long Time Ago, and Four Thousand Miles Away**

_Emily_

I was up with the dawn on the morning of my birthday, despite the late night. For some reason I just couldn't settle; not in a bad way, I just had so much going through my mind. I carefully extricated myself from Naomi's arms and slid softly out of the bed.

She looked just perfect lying there, sprawled across the middle of the bed, arm reaching out to where I'd just been laying; the light cotton sheet the only thing hiding her body from my eyes. She looked peaceful, happy, totally relaxed; it's a good thing, I love her when she's like this, she's been so stressed out and worried recently. I gently sat down by her feet so I could just watch her for a few minutes, looking on as her eyes flickered underneath her eyelids as she dreamt, as her tongue moved to wet her dry lips, as she simply breathed in and out with a little dopey smile on her face. I don't really get the chance to do this very often, just sit and watch her sleep; I can see why she does it to me now, it's as if I can see the real Naomi Campbell when she sleeps, a bit dopey, a bit dorky and a lot beautiful.

It was with great reluctance that I walked away from her and grabbed one of the robes that hung on the back of the bathroom door. It was a beautiful morning and I didn't want to waste a second of it, not that I count staring at a naked Naomi as a waste. Carefully I slipped through the open doors and onto our balcony, we'd opted not to use the air conditioning last night; choosing to curl up to sleep cooled by nothing more than the breeze that drifted in through our windows. We had been lullabyed by the reassuring sounds of the waves breaking on the shore outside and the faint hooting of boat horns out in the channel. The soft chugging of their engines the only thing that broke the beautiful, natural silence.

It had been a perfect night, in fact every moment since we arrived at four o'clock yesterday afternoon had been perfect; but last night had been better than anything that had gone before because it had turned into my birthday. My eighteenth birthday, my first day as an adult spent with the woman I want to spend the rest of my adult life with; and she'd spent the entire time trying to demonstrate just how much she loves me.

She doesn't have to though, not really, not any more. Everything about her screams that fact, every single touch, every single look. There's only one thing that would make my birthday complete and that is for her to understand, to accept, that I feel the same way.

I tell her I love her and she tells me 'I know' in that voice that screams adoration; but she doesn't, not really. Yeah she knows I love her, but I'm positive she doesn't know, or can't feel how much. Despite her love for me I can see the doubt in her eyes sometimes, like she's going to fuck up and I'm going to vanish in a puff of smoke never to be seen again. Well I didn't do that before and I'm not going to do it again.

_"You know I'll have to work at this,"_ she told me one evening before we left for this trip, _"it still scares the shit out of me sometimes."_

_"__**We'll**__ have to work at it babe," _I'd told her firmly, _"this isn't about you and me anymore, this is about us. __**We'll**__ work at this relationship, not you alone."_

_"Yeah, that's what I meant."_

I promise myself something, as I stare out over bay to the deep blue waters of the Arabian Sea, watching the sun glint on the waves as it rises; I promise myself that I'm going to get her to face this. Not now of course, I don't want to ruin this wonderful day she's giving me, but soon...very soon, we're going to address this head on.

We'll discuss this little elephant that keeps coming between us before it grows up again and gets too big to deal with.

My mind settled, I take a deep breath of the sea air and catch just the faintest hint of food drifting past. Somewhere, possibly in the hotel kitchens, someone is preparing breakfast and my stomach gives a little growl to remind me it's there. I really shouldn't be hungry, not after what I ate last night for dinner, although I could use the excuse of all those calories I burnt off dancing and walking and...

I had totally drifted off into that memory when I felt a pair of arms slip around my waist and a set of lips press themselves to the side of my neck sending shivers down my spine.

"Morning beautiful, happy birthday."

"It is now baby," I replied, leaning back into her embrace, "a very happy birthday. Good morning to you too, what are you doing awake? I thought you'd sleep in this morning, it was a late night last night."

"Someone left me alone in bed, that never fails to set off the old Fitchdar hun. Besides, I could ask you the same thing Ems; you had as late a night as I did."

She was right of course, after we'd gone back to our room, after that fabulous evening she'd given me, we'd tumbled into bed; a lot tipsy, a lot happy and a lot horny. We'd made love again on that huge bed, neither of us seeming satisfied until finally Naomi wrapped her arms around my exhausted body and ordered me to sleep.

I love a dominant Naomi, I really wished that I'd had the energy right then to love a dominant Naomi a lot more.

"I was just restless babe," I told her, snuggling back and placing my hands on top of hers. " I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep; so I thought I'd take in the sights for a bit...then come out here and look at the water."

"Cheeky; were you perving again?"

"It's my birthday and I'll perv if I want to." I said, rolling my head to allow her easier access to the parts of my neck she was seeking to devour."

"You can perv...anytime you like hun...you have permission."

I couldn't help but laugh at her comment, shuddering slightly as her lips moved up to my ear and she nibbled gently at my earlobe.

"Oi, you be careful of my earrings you." I told her with the biggest grin of the morning on my face, getting a laugh from the blonde behind me. I turned around to look at her, raising my face to kiss her waiting lips. As I gently pressed our lips together in the tenderest of touches we were rudely interrupted by the grumbling of my stomach.

Naomi pulled away from the kiss, pulling her lips together to stifle a giggle and when she opened her eyes they were full of mirth; slowly she eased herself down to her haunches and parted my robe, placing a soft kiss on my stomach, just below my navel, just low enough to get my heart beating out of my chest.

"Someone's hungry," she said, kissing me again, and pressing her ear to my rumbling stomach. "How about room service? We can eat breakfast out here if you'd like."

"That sounds great babe, breakfast will probably stop my stomach acting as a bloody chaperone again."

Naomi climbed to her feet again, closed my robe with an amused smirk and stretched, giving me a great view of her figure as the t-shirt she'd thrown on after I left her in bed rose up.

"Perving again Ems," she chided, flicking me on the nose, "really…at least give me a chance to order food."

I smiled at her retreating back then followed her into the bedroom and leapt onto the bed; watching as Naomi grabbed the room service menu from the writing table and looked through it.

"Well they do continental breakfast, English breakfast, cereals, omelettes cooked to order; allsorts really. What do you fancy Ems?"

"What, apart from you?"

She lowered the menu and regarded me, one eye half closed in a very Naomi-like manner, causing me to grin happily. I crooked a finger at her and patted the bed next to me.

"Come here you, let me have a look at that menu as well."

We sat on the bed, looking through the various options before settling on some cereal and a continental breakfast for her and a sausage, beans and bacon omelette for me. I lay back happily as Naomi called down to reception and placed our order.

"Yeah that's right, sausage _and_ bacon, yes sliced up would be great and beans, yeah in the omelette as well…no not as a side order. Can we also get a two cups of coffee, some toast for two and a jug of orange juice as well please. That's great...yeah half an hour is fine, thanks a lot."

She dropped the phone as I slid my hands under her t-shirt as she reached over me to place it back onto its stand. As she leant over the bed to pick it up and place it back onto the base unit, I took the opportunity to, rather cheekily, bite her on the perfectly toned buttock that happened to come into my view.

"Ow, stop that," she shouted waving her left hand across her back to bat me away. "Not fair!" Unfortunately she was blindly waving about three foot away from where I actually was and I took the opportunity to lean down and nip her again, a little bit harder this time; probably leaving my teeth marks on her, claiming her as my own.

"OW! Ems will you quit that please? I'm trying to find the bloody phone."

I couldn't help laughing at her predicament, I couldn't help talking advantage of it as well.

"You weren't saying that last night when I bit you Naomi Campbell, you seemed to enjoy it then."

She fucking had as well…well, she'd left me with enough marks herself last night after I'd bit down on her shoulder as I came again.

I ran my hands across her bare arse and down her thighs, doing my best to distract her, pressing my body against hers as she leant over the edge of the bed. As I did so I slid up her t-shirt as I brought my hands back up her body following them with kisses.

Finally, she managed to grab the handset and put it down on the base unit and grumbling good naturedly she eased me off her back and struggled to haul her body back onto the mattress properly.

"You do realise that they were laughing their heads off down in reception," she said firmly as finally she managed to lie back down in a slightly more dignified manner. "I'm pretty sure they heard everything."

"Are you really that bothered babe?" I asked, kneeling next to her; in truth a little bit concerned as to what her answer might be.

"Not really Ems, I was just saying," she replied, grinning and surprising me again.

"So," I said snuggling up next to her and wrapping my arm across her body, pulling her to roll and face me. "Half an hour then?"

"Yeah," she replied stroking her hand up and down my side, her nail scraping in a wonderfully erotic manner.

"Lot we could do in half an hour," I hinted.

"Yeah, I really should brush my teeth and take a shower, then I need to pick out something to wear today." She slid out of my grasp and off the bed before stretching again, her t-shirt leaving nothing to my imagination.

"Naomi," I yelled sitting up quickly and pulling at the hem of her shirt, "you're a bloody tease sometimes. Come here and get naked."

"Yes Miss Fitch, as it's your birthday, I'll do anything you say."

She did as well…

o+o+o

"So what do you want to do today Ems? My treat."

She does that deliberately, I know she does; she waits until I've taken a bite to eat and then asks me a question. I know she does it deliberately because I can see the glint in her eye that tells me it's true.

She went to speak again, as she usually does, but I held up a finger warningly and frowned at her whilst I chewed carefully on my mouthful of hot omelette.

"Well I thought perhaps we could go back to the beach for the day," I replied finally after swallowing the hot food. "Make a day of it; I love that beach and I'd like to top up my tan a bit. Then, I thought we could come back here and lounge around the pool. You know, wait for Katie to ring; have a few drinks or something and generally chill out."

"Sounds like a plan, it's only getting on for eight now so we can have plenty of time to ourselves before the toxic twin calls."

"Oi, that's my sister you're talking about."

I try to be offended, but her little grin when she mentioned Katie kind of robbed her words of any offence. I know she likes my sister, even if they didn't have the best of starts. Trouble is they're both so bloody similar, opinionated and stubborn; it's a shame took them so long to realise that they could actually be friendly, if not exactly friends.

"Yeah well, she's ok; the toxic twin that is. It's nice that you're going to get to speak to her again later. I did feel a bit guilty about you being here and not with your family on your birthday."

I nearly spat out my omelette. Family; I'd been so totally focussed on talking to Katie I'd forgotten totally about the rest of my family. I mean, what's the protocol on this kind of thing? It's my birthday, shouldn't they call me? But what do you do when you know they can't, I know they haven't got the number of the hotel so should I ring them to say hello? It's all so fucking confusing.

"You ok there Ems?"

I nodded as I swallowed the scalding egg and beans mixture that I had been chewing on, quickly grabbing at her orange juice to cool my throat.

"Careful Ems; fucking hell, don't hurt yourself."

"What do I do about my family Naoms? They don't know where I am at the moment, what if they want to get in touch with me? I feel so guilty, they must think I've just run away with you and left them again."

"Ems I gave your dad the hotel details and our e-mail address before we left, stop panicking. I'm sure they'll get in touch one way or another; it is your birthday after all."

"You told dad where we'd be staying?"

"Yup, well not really, just the name and number really in case your mum or James let it slip to Katie where we were. I thought he would probably want to wish his favourite daughter a happy birthday. I wasn't going to tell you until later, I was hoping he'd call today; you know, give you another surprise."

I could feel the relief flood through my body, she'd managed to do it again; think of fucking everything. No wonder she couldn't get her bags packed properly, no wonder she's been a nervous wreck for the last day or so. She's been keeping all these secrets, all these surprises tucked away inside that head of hers; it must be bursting under the stress. I think I'd have broken down and let it all out by now, I'm as bad as Katie at keeping secrets like these.

"Hey, enough with the surprises already ok? This," I gesture around me at the hotel and our room, "and these," I touched the presents she'd given me last night, causing me to burst into floods of tears in front of some of the guests and the members of the hotel staff that had wished me a happy birthday.

"These are enough Naomi, more than enough. Seriously hun, all this is more than anyone has ever done for me before."

"Yeah well, it's not enough for you Ems, nothing ever will be you know? Anyway, I've only got three more surprises for you today, and none of them are that special."

"Every surprise is special babe, because you thought of it."

Simple words, but ones that I mean from the bottom of my heart. Even so, they get her to blush bright crimson in embarrassment and, I hope, pleasure.

"I mean it you know Naomi? You could have just got me a card and I'd have been made up with that."

"Do you know," she said quietly, sipping at the remains of her glass of orange juice; "that's the one thing I forgot to get you; a card."

She stood up from her chair, "be right back, don't move a muscle."

"Naomi, wait a minute," I tried to stop her leaving, but she'd already disappeared into the bedroom and I could hear her rustling around in the wardrobe.

"Naomi you can't be serious; I don't need a birthday card silly, I've got you."

Her head appeared in the doorway with a broad grin on her face. "I wasn't going to get you a card Emily, I was going to get you this."

She handed me a sealed envelope, my name on the front written in ink, rather than the usual biro we used to drop each other notes. I went to open it, but she suddenly knelt down next to me and stayed my hand.

"Ems hun, I wanted to give you something that I can't usually do for your birthday; I wanted to give you a piece of myself, 'cause we both know that I'm shit at doing that. Hotel rooms and trinkets, they're simple things to do ok? They're no different to a card and a watch and some flowers. But you're worth more to me than that, much, much more. So I want you to read this, I want you to read it alone and I want you to keep it all to yourself. It's for you and you alone, I don't want you to share it with _anyone_ else; including me ok?"

I looked into her bright blue eyes; they shone with love, and sincerity and a little bit of fear. I nodded at her gravely, knowing instinctively what she meant. Whatever she had wrote in this letter, whatever feelings she wanted to get across; she didn't want to discuss it, didn't want to feel embarrassed by having to talk about expressing herself. Well that was ok, I could do that, I can do that for her. I don't know why she keeps telling me she's shit at sharing herself with me, I think she does a very good job of it, one day we'll have to talk about that as well.

"Cool, I'm going to leave you in peace for a bit ok, I won't be long...need to organise one of those surprises I mentioned."

She smiled at me and leant forward, slipping her hand behind my head and pulling me gently towards her, placing her forehead against mine.

"I love you so much Ems, happy birthday."

Our lips met and we kissed more tenderly than I think we ever had before. I felt a splash of a tear hit my cheek and then with one more 'I love you' she was gone leaving me behind with my envelope.

"You're wrong you know," I called after her as I heard her getting dressed. "If this was one of your surprises it really is that special."

"Say that after you've read it hun," she called back, "it could be a Dear John letter."

I couldn't help chuckling at that, after all we'd been through like she'd bring me here to tell me she was dumping me. I took a sip of my coffee and pushed my nearly finished breakfast plate away. I don't normally waste food, but I have something more important to focus on now, well more important than my stomach anyway. Stretching my legs out onto her chair I sat back and carefully eased open the envelope, sliding out the handwritten pages of her letter.

_'My Emily,_

_You know how much I love being able to say that, write that, think that, even put that in my stupid answering machine message? I'm not sure you do, or ever will. It's not something I'll ever be able to tell you, I don't have the vocabulary to make you understand what it means to me, words can't just can't encompass it._

_'My Emily, _

_My__ Emily'._

_I remember an afternoon, not so long ago, when I told a certain someone that I'd been a lousy girlfriend but that I'd never treated you as an object. Well in some ways that's not true._

_For as long as I can really remember I've wanted someone to call my own, to be able to give myself to someone and love them; and from that moment when I was twelve, I've wanted it to be you. I dreamed about it, fantasised about it and then finally I've lived it. At first you were like an object to me because it wasn't real, for a while you were an object to me because I didn't want to believe it was real, I was scared of what that meant. Now you are still an object to me; you are the object of my affections because it is real, it's very, very real and I love it. Love you!_

_You're as deep into my soul as you're likely ever to be, there is nowhere left for you to go, no part of me that hasn't been invaded by your presence and left feeling stronger and healthier and more loved because of it. You truly are my Dragon Emily Fitch, you prowl around in the dark places of my soul and make them safe, keeping away those dragons that want to destroy us, not realising that they would destroy me at the same time._

_You seem to understand my weaknesses and you're there for me all the time; holding me up when I'm down and catching me when I fall. You are my rock, my guardian, my friend, my soul mate as well as my lover and each and every one of those roles you fulfil for me you excel at. Your very presence fills me up to the brim with happiness and as long as I'm with you I get the feeling that I can indeed do anything._

_For as long as you want me, and probably for a lot longer still, I'm yours. I've always been yours and that's the greatest gift I think I can give you on your birthday. The knowledge that you own me in every way possible, I can't give you anything more._

_I've thought for so long now about what to get you for your birthday, how I could make it memorable, how I could give you memories to cherish for the rest of our lives. How I could make up for last year, for all of the last year. I hope I've succeeded. I hope that every trinket, every single surprise I've arranged makes you feel good because you deserve it_

_Oh and trinkets they are, they might be nice but they're still trinkets because no matter their value they are nothing in comparison you the value I place on you. _

_I've told you I love you Ems; I could tell you the same thing every minute of every day for the rest of my life and mean every word, every time. Even then I don't think it would ever capture how deep that feeling is for me._

_I'm lousy at feelings, I know I am. I'm failing to express myself properly even now, even trying to write it down is difficult. How do you explain something you just know, how can you describe something you can't see the edges of? I keep trying, but then I keep getting distracted, you are a beautiful distraction my Emily, you really do stop my brain working; always. I stop to think about what I want to say or what I want to do, I look at you and my brain turns to mush leaving me incapable of expressing myself or doing anything useful. _

_Like now for example, I got up to get an early start on the planning for our trip and instead I decided to write this letter; to try and explain to you how much I feel for you because instead of going downstairs, instead of arranging things to pack I'm sitting on our sofa bed in the corner of our room, and like I've done so many times before I'm watching you sleep. _

_I __love__ watching you sleep, I love __everything__ about it, I can't stop myself from sitting, or lying or standing there and watching you. I watch you roll over in your sleep and mutter to yourself and I smile, I feel safe as I listen to you snore softly and I feel so totally, totally possessed when you roll over and tuck yourself into me; all arms and legs and you…_

_It doesn't scare me anymore Ems, the only thing that scares me still is fucking all this up. Don't let me fuck things up again Emily, either deliberately or because I can't express myself properly to you. Please don't stand for my shit; push me every day and one day I'll break through that barrier. One day we'll break through, one day soon I promise._

_I know I'm a klutz at relationships, I know I'm crap at the whole girlfriend thing, but I promise you I'm going to try. I'm going to try every day to prove to you how much you mean to me and I'm going to use your birthday to make my point, I'm not going to forget this year, I'm not going to fuck it up again, in fact I'm going to do my damndest to make it special…trinkets and all...I hope you like it, hope you're enjoying it._

_Nothing I could ever do for you would be enough to make up for everything I've done to you over the years Emily Fitch; nothing I could do would __ever__ be enough, I will always feel that you deserve so much more. So all I can give you apart from the trinkets, that I hope you like, is the honesty of my heart._

_I love you Emily, my Emily, I always have and I always will. You have captured my heart and my soul and if I could I'd gift wrap them for you as well._

_Hope you're having a great birthday babe, I know I'll be enjoying it because I'm with you and that's all I'll ever really need._

_With all my heart, _

_Naomi…_

_Your__ Naomi – always'_

She's signed off the letter with a lipstick kiss, probably the cheesiest, and most lovely thing she's ever done; I'm touched. Not just with the sentiment, but that she took the time to write her thoughts down for me, prepared this in advance so she could keep the surprises coming. It's a special thing and it's totally for me; to anyone else it would read like just one more soppy declaration of love, but it's so much more than that; I know it is, know what it really means. It's a promise to me, a promise to us.

I carefully folded the pages and slipped them safely back into the envelope, sealing it closed once more. Holding it carefully I stood up and walked back into the bedroom to put it in the safe with the rest of my valuables. I was expecting to find the room empty, I was planning to pull on some clothes and go and find her. In the end I didn't have to; in the end I found her sat, cross legged, on the bed, staring at me. I hadn't even known she was there, so engrossed I'd been in her words.

"Hey, thought you'd gone out for a bit."

"Yeah, thought I'd stay instead. Told you Ems, I'm tired of running it's just…"

"I understand Naoms, I really do." I interrupted her quickly. "One thing though ok? I know you didn't want me to talk to you about it but…thank you..it means more to me than anything else you've done and that's saying an awful lot."

I watched as she shrugged, obviously embarrassed.

"…and I do love my 'trinkets'," I said touching my hand to my ear, "_all_ my 'trinkets' because they came from you and because of the thought you put into them as well as the effort you put into getting them for me."

o+o+o

Trinkets she'd called them, her note told me that everything was a trinket when she compared it to how she felt about me. Well for my eighteenth birthday she'd given me anything _but_ trinkets. I allowed myself the luxury of thinking back to last night, no early this morning, when she'd had the waiter deliver that red box along with the glasses of champagne for her toast. I hadn't seen it at first, not until she'd pulled away the cloth, surprising me with yet another present; first the hotel, then the evening, the flowers, the call from Katie and finally that little red box.

I had felt my heart flutter in anticipation as I pulled it towards me, slowly prising open the lid to reveal what was inside.

Trinkets, trinkets of the love she held for me. If that was the case then I was truly blessed, truly loved.

Inside that red leather box were three objects lying on a cream silk inner; three objects that were, without any shadow of a doubt, simple, classic and very much me. I was looking at a pair of earrings and a silver chain with an oval pendant. All inset with stones that looked like diamonds.

"Oh God Naomi, they're beautiful; they're really, really beautiful." I'd managed to say, inadequately expressing how wonderful they really were; little did I know that they were going to get even better.

I lifted one of the earrings from it's retainer, it was a simple, single stone stud in a round silver surround and it reflected the light from the table lamp with a sparkling purity.

"Naoms, this isn't…" I tailed off, totally captivated by the object in my fingers; rotating it around and just staring at it. She'd simply winked at me when finally I dragged my eyes away.

"Christmas working hun, remember? Well Christmas and New Year; seriously good money."

"It's real?"

"Of course it's real, you didn't think I'd get you a set of paste earrings did you, not for your eighteenth?" she had paused for a second, looking up with her eyes slightly unfocused as if dragging something from her memory.

"They're a point three carat diamond in a platinum surround. I saw them online and thought of you…they're from a collection called 'Emily', so I had to buy them really didn't I?"

I had stared down at the earring with a new respect, I don't know anything about diamonds, never owned any, but point three carat sounds expensive, and I know platinum really _is_ expensive. I couldn't believe she would spend that much on me.

"Naoms, this…this must have cost a fortune, Jesus babe, thank you!"

She had shrugged and smiled at me. "I know they don't really fit with the rest of the metal you've got stuck in those lovely ears, but I thought, you know, you deserved a really nice pair of earrings and there's going to be plenty of other birthdays for me to get some other ones to match."

I had blinked away tears then, totally overcome. I fumbled for a second with the studs I had in, a pair of cheap shineys that I'd bought from an accessories store back in Bristol. Carefully, I slipped each of the studs into the waiting holes and pressed the back down the stem until they had pinched my ear; paranoid that I'd lose them the second I moved my head.

"How do I look?"

"Same as you did before the earrings Ems, absolutely beautiful. You don't need to add anything to change that."

"Do they perhaps make me look even more beautiful then?" I'd asked with a smile on my lips, twisting my head from side to side to show off my latest additions.

"You look a million dollars Ems. You like them then?"

"How could I not like them babe, they're beautiful."

"Good."

She had taken a sip from her champagne and looked at me, her face had been shining with pleasure and my face had been hurting from the smile that was fixed to it. As she'd waited expectantly I finally remembered that there was one more thing in the box.

It was with trembling hands that I'd lifted the chain and pendant from the white silk inner and brought them up to the soft light. The pendant was a plain, perfect oval, not too big and not too small, with a thick silver chain and a single set diamond on the front. As I'd turned it over in my hands I had found that the back was engraved with a simple message.

_'My Emily_

_With all my love_

_Naomi'_

It was perfect, it fitted into the pendant perfectly; fitted her sentiments perfectly, fitted us.

"It's lovely Naoms, it's really lovely." I'd said, barely managing to get out the words through the emotions that were surging through me.

"Well, go on open it then."

I had looked at her blankly, eyes flicking to the leather box not understanding what she meant. She gestured at the pendant and, as I looked closely holding it closer to the table lamp, I saw a tiny catch built into the side. As I clicked it with my thumbnail, the pendant popped open to reveal that it was actually a locket, a beautifully made locket with a hinge and latch I'd not noticed. As I'd gently opened the two halves fully it had revealed two tiny photographs framed and set in each half. One was a family picture, me, Katie and James stood with mum and dad; the other was the photo she'd taken of us at the lake on her phone.

I'd just looked at her, down at the locket again and then back at her; utterly speechless.

"I got it from your dad hun," she'd told me softly as if she thought I needed an explanation.

"I asked him for a family portrait and he gave me that one to use. I wanted something that said that _we're_ family now, you and me; but have something to remind you that they're family too. I thought it would be, you know, symbolic; but you can put any pictures you like in there, the retainers just clip in and out. It's only white gold I'm afraid, this time I really couldn't afford the platinum but I thought it would sort of match, thought you'd like something that looked like a matched set even if it wasn't..."

I'd ignored her nervous blathering for a moment, staring down at the pictures in my hands; she was right, they were symbolic, more than she'd probably realised and it made a perfect gift even better, two halves of a locket with the two halves of my life. My family and her, my past, present and future all in one object.

I'd burst into tears at that point, unable to hold in the emotions that were flooding through me at that moment in time. In a flash Naomi was out of her chair and had knelt next to me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. Somehow I'd managed to stammer out a totally inadequate thank you as she held me.

"May I?" she'd asked when finally I managed to get myself under control. Eventually realising what she meant, I'd nodded; closing the locket carefully and placing it into her waiting hands.

Naomi stood up from where she had knelt and walked behind me, draping the chain around my neck and fastening it behind my neck. Carefully she lowered it down and I'd discovered that the chain was a perfect fit, the locket sitting perfectly against my chest in just the right place; one more detail I assume she'd researched somehow.

"Happy Birthday Ems," she'd whispered into my ear as she wrapped her arms around me once again. "I love you."

o+o+o

_Naomi_

There are days when I simply cannot believe my luck, some days I can't believe how bad my luck is; others, like today, I can't believe how _good_ my luck is. So far everything has gone to plan, the hotel has been perfect, the call from Katie arrived as if on cue and Ems liked her presents; even if she has taken them off and locked them in the hotel's main safe 'just in case'.

She even seemed to appreciate that stupid bloody letter that I wrote and re-wrote and re-wrote again until I got it right; well as right as a lummox like me can ever manage. She's locked that up as well, telling a very red-faced me that it was as precious to her as anything else I'd done for her birthday.

Bloody typical, I could have saved myself a fortune if I'd known that; still I wouldn't change a thing though. I was right, it was worth every shitty customer, every moment in shops and warehouses and everywhere else I'd done crappy part time jobs. Worth all the long hours and the lack of sleep in order to see the look on her face when she'd opened that box. To see how her hands trembled, to see the tears of happiness in her eyes.

I swore that I'd do everything in my power not to make her shed tears because of me ever again. I think I might have to re-evaluate that vow; if I can make her cry like that I think it might just be worth the heartache that I still get every time I see tears falling from her eyes.

But seeing her crying tears of _joy_ because of something I've done is one of the most wonderful things I've ever experienced, something to really cherish.

So, it's all going well, two more surprises to go and I hope they both go as smoothly as the rest. One of them is a bit of a risk, but I think it'll be worth it.

At Emily's request we're spending the day on the beach, with nothing to do but soak up the sun and work on our tans. I'm almost totally lost in my thoughts as we walk down Miramar beach once again hand in hand; the sun is shining and the sand is hot; even though it's not even close to midday. Something tells me it's going to be a fantastic day.

We're making our way along the sun bleached sand towards our favourite spot; the little grove of trees that is just set back from the beach. Close enough to dash across the sand to the water without it being a chore, but sheltered enough to give us a bit of peace and quiet from the other people that use the beach. I'm looking forward to it, we've been here practically every day since we got here, good old Delhi-belly aside, and I've still not tired of coming back.

It's our Indian version of our lake, a little haven of peace and tranquillity where we can be alone with everyone else around.

"You're quiet Naoms, you all right?"

"I'm fine hun," I replied squeezing the dainty hand that clutched mine as if it were a lifeline. "Just thinking that's all."

"Thought I told you weeks ago to stop thinking babe."

"Think you told me to stop worrying you hun, not stop thinking." I said pulling her towards me causing her to stumble in the sand.

"You git," she said laughing as she regained her balance. "You're so dead for that Campbell?"

"Oh yeah," I replied, dropping my bag and rugby tackling her to the sand. "What you going to do about it Fitch?"

She really should start things like this, I know she's stronger than she looks, I know she's in better shape that I am; but I'm taller and I've got a bit more weight and a bit more leverage. I've also got a crueller streak than she's got which I ably demonstrate by pinning her to the sand and jabbing at her sides, making her howl.

"Naomi would you get off me please….please, Naomi, stop it..that fucking tickles…"

I tickled her again, causing her to laugh and writhe again before stopping and looking down at her as she recovered her breath.

"It's lucky I love you Fitch or I'd have to sit here and tickle you until you were nineteen."

"I could think of worse ways to spend a year babe."

I could too, like the way we'd spent the last year together. Somewhat reluctantly I climbed to my feet and, offering my hand, dragged Ems up as well.

"Shall we?" I asked picking up our sand coated beach bag.

"Absolutely."

o+o+o

As the day progressed I spent my time making sure everything Ems wanted she got. Drinks, food, walks along the beach, everything. In the end, I think I started getting on her nerves; actually make that I _know_ I started getting on her nerves.

"Naomi would you stop being so bloody attentive and relax."

"Sorry Ems."

She reached out an arm and dragged me back down onto the blanket.

"Don't be sorry Nai, just relax all right?"

"I am relaxed Ems, honest. I'm just trying to…"

"I know Naomi, I know what you're doing and I appreciate it yeah? But I would appreciate it as well if you just chilled out and talked to me ok?"

I flopped onto my back and looked up into the bright blue afternoon sky; I felt her fingers slip in between mine and squeeze gently.

"That's better, what the hell are you so wound up for Naoms? It's only my birthday, it's not like it's a big deal."

"Oh yeah, because you're eighteen every day aren't you Ems?" I scoffed back at her.

"Feels like it babe, ever since London it's felt like my birthday every single day."

She squeezed my hand again, lifting it up and pulling it over towards her and grasping it with both hands. If I'm honest it's not the most comfortable position my arm has ever been in but I'll put up with it, I'll put up with anything for her.

"You're fucking wonderful you know," she told me, kissing my knuckles.

"Yeah, I know," I replied smiling into the sky at my sarcasm, "worlds best girlfriend me, I should have a badge, or even a trophy."

"I'd happily get you one babe, remind me when we get home we can put it on the mantelpiece wherever we end up living."

"I'll send you an e-mail hun; make sure it's a big trophy though," I said, slipping my hand from hers and gesturing to the skies how big I thought the trophy should be. "I'm sure I deserve it."

I was slightly surprised to find a Fitch shaped lump suddenly appear in my vision and a Fitch sized weight land on my body.

"I'll get you the biggest fucking trophy I can find Naomi, and it still wouldn't be big enough."

I felt her long red hair drape across my shoulders as she leaned down and touched our lips together. I lifted my head only for her to pull away slightly, tantalisingly close and yet so far away, and I felt, rather than saw, her lips crease into a smile.

"I think I'm going for a swim babe, you coming?"

Despite her words she made no attempt to move and I opened my eyes to see her big brown eyes looking down at me.

"Don't know about swimming Ems, but I'm pretty sure I'm drowning in your eyes."

Finally she released me, pressing her lips to mine, we kissed in my most favourite manner, slowly and gently. I love kissing her like this. I mean I like kissing her in any way possible, even the lust fuelled frenzies that are often a feature of our relationship. But I do love it when we have the time, and the privacy, to express our emotions like this.

Cook would probably call me a twat, but there's something special about this type of kiss, well there is for me, it's part of a memory, part of our past.

"You're becoming a soppy twat Naoms, 'drowning in your eyes' indeed."

"Hey it's true, I love your eyes, they're my second favourite part of you."

"I suppose I don't have to guess what your favourite parts of me are." Her big eyes twinkled as she lay on top of me.

"Don't know what you mean Ems." I protested at her smile. She sat up and smirked at me.

"Naomi Campbell you've not been able to take your eyes off my tits for years now; don't think I haven't noticed you looking."

I quite deliberately stared at the swell of her breasts, straining at her tiny swimsuit. I was pretty sure she'd bought that particular bikini for that very reason knowing that I'm partial to a perv. She's not right though and I think it's time to tell her.

"I'm hurt Ems, I can't believe that you think that I'm that shallow."

"Oh come on Nai, you can't deny it, you were always staring at them…even before we started dating."

"Well you're a fine one to talk Emily Fitch," I replied to her laughing as I did so. "I seem to remember I have a short redhead with a tit obsession somewhere in my life. Anyway, as much as I like your tits they're _not_ my favourite part of you."

"They're not?" she asked sounding astonished, "I always thought they were…really?"

"Really. They're my third favourite thing about you Ems, _if_ you are going to make me do a list? Do you need scores?"

"So what's your favourite bit, my bum or something?" she said shaking her head and frowning.

I sniggered at her face, she looked so confused at my denial, "I'd rather show you than tell you."

For some reason Emily blushed a delicate pink, and sat up quickly. "Naomi, it's not even dark babe, you can't do that here, there are people around."

The penny dropped and I joined her in a blush. I don't normally fucking blush, but since I've been with her I've been blushing more than ever before. I don't know if its because she just knows how to get me to blush, or if she's unlocked some kind of strange emotional reaction that I'm not used to having; it's either that or it's because I can't use my sarcastic bitch defence around her; not any more.

"Emily Fitch," I stammered out through my embarrassment, "I can't believe you've just said that…can't believe that you thought...it's your _neck_ you pervy bugger. My favourite part of you is the back of your neck; that and the tops of your shoulders, I love them."

"Really?" she said, sounding astonished.

"Really!"

"Why?"

I pulled her back down onto the blanket and rolled onto my side, nudging her until she was facing away from me. Carefully I placed a soft kiss at the base of her neck.

"This is what I wake up to Ems, that's why I love it. It was the first thing I saw that first time you slept at mine. I rolled over and there you were, red hair everywhere as you were facing away from me. I've loved waking up like that ever since, just can't help myself from doing this."

I kissed her again, ticking the nape of her neck with my tongue as I did so, listening to her giggle as I spluttered, rolled over and reached for the bottle of water we'd bought taking a drink and swilling before spitting it out.

"You Ok Naoms?" she asked rolling back and watching my predicament with a gleam in her eyes.

"Yeah, fine Ems…sun cream and sand…not the best flavour you've ever had hun."

She rolled onto her back and laughed, her giggles causing her body to shake in a most appealing manner.

"What?" I asked defensively, trying my best not to laugh with her, ignoring the foul taste in my mouth.

"You really are a dopy cow aren't you?"

I couldn't disagree with that.

o+o+o

The afternoon progressed in the same, lazy good humoured manner until finally I looked at my watch and realised it was time we should be heading back. It was with a fair bit of reluctance I disturbed the girl that was lying in the shade, dozing on my shoulder.

"Ems?" I said softly, nudging her carefully.

"Ems, I hate to say this hun, but we'd better start making a move back."

"Nooooooo," she moaned, melodramatically. "Don't want to, want to stay here."

"Fine, we can stay here love," I told her, "but you've got a date with a phone and your sister haven't you? You don't want to miss that."

"Meh, bloody Katie…she always knows how to ruin my fun."

To the relief of my rapidly numbing shoulder and arm, she sat up and stretched; still complaining at the injustice of having to leave the beach to talk to Katie.

I smiled at her good natured grumbling, stood up and pulled my shorts and t-shirt over my swim suit, feeling the sand grind against my skin where it had stuck to the sun cream. Reluctantly we packed up our blanket and towels and headed back up the beach towards the hotel, strolling hand in hand through the surf.

"Having a good birthday then Ems?"

"Pretty good Naoms, looking forward to a shower and a drink though."

"Couldn't agree more honey, I really need to get some alcohol inside me to bring up the strength to wish the toxic twin happy birthday when she calls."

I wasn't really surprised when she hit me with the bag she was carrying and I slipped my hand from hers and ran a couple of steps up the beach. I was surprised when she tossed the bag onto the beach and ran after me.

Shrieking like children she chased me through the surf until, with a dive, she rugby tackled me causing us both to fall into the water. Spluttering as a wave washed over us, she managed to top me, sitting on my thighs and grabbing my arms with her strong grip as I tried to push her off.

"Naoms, have I made you all wet?"

My mind decided to betray me at that point and I had a flashback of another day; a cold day in February where she'd done the same thing, asked me practically the same question. Tackled me and dumped me into the freezing cold water of a tiny plastic paddling pool, asked me that question with mockery and anger and hurt in her voice; slapping me verbally, trying to hurt me as much as I had hurt her.

I tried to push it away, it's her fucking birthday and I shouldn't be ruining it but I'm too late; she must have seen something, sensed something, because she instantly knew something was wrong.

"Shit, are you ok there Naoms? I didn't hurt you did I?"

I shook my head quickly, trying not to meet her eyes as the waves swirled around us. She gazed down at me, looking at me carefully until she caught my gaze and stared deep into my eyes.

"What's up babe?"

I blinked rapidly and looked away from her quickly, babbling my denial that there was anything wrong; but she was having none of it, obviously not believing me again. Then, with an Effy like flash of insight, I saw the realisation in her eyes as the penny dropped.

"Shit, _shit;_ Naoms, babe..I'm sorry, I didn't think, _fuck!_"

Guilt washed over me harder than the waves that were lapping around us and I pulled her down and wrapped my arms around her, pinning her to me with my grasp, and kissed her fiercely.

"No, fuck no…I'm sorry Ems, I was supposed to have left all that behind me, it's just…you know…memory's a fucker sometimes. Forget about it I'm fine. More than fine."

"Naoms, it was a long time ago and four thousand miles away, it's behind us, far behind us; we're different people now."

"Different people," I agreed kissing her again, "told you Ems, ignore me. Sorry for screwing up your birthday."

"Will you shut up, how the fuck did you ruin my birthday?"

"By being a twat," I replied sincerely

"Well that's not true at all," she told me firmly."But if it was, at least you're _my_ twat, or at least I think you are."

Words I remember, words I said to her barely weeks ago, words that make me smile and take away the ache.

"Always honey…always."

One more passionate kiss in the surf and she dragged me to my feet before walking back to grab the discarded bag. As I stood and watched her walk back towards me her face lit up and she pointed to a spot out at sea."

"Nai, look the dolphins are back!"

I turned to look in the direction of her finger, scanning the water looking for the grey fins we'd seen on our arrival here. "Where Ems, I can't se..oof"

The wind was knocked out of me as I was tackled once more and shoved into the damp sand. Before I could complain Ems was all over me, lips on mine, hands running all over my body, through my hair, everywhere. I was concerned for a second that she was going to try and fuck me right there in the surf, so lost in passion she seemed to be; dragging her less than unwilling victim along with her.

"_Am_ I making you wet Naoms," she whispered into my ear, biting my lobe for good measure as she did so; "because you drive me fucking wild you know that?"

"You know what you do to me Emily, you've always known haven't you?"

"Then do me a favour and turn off that brilliant mind of yours, stop thinking babe, stop thinking, start feeling and just _be_ ok? Just _be_ with me, create more great memories with me. 'Cause that's what you've done babe, today, yesterday, the last few weeks in fact. You've given me memories I'll cherish until the day I die. That's what you do."

I didn't get a chance to answer as a wave washed over us and she pushed her lips onto mine once more; it was larger than the others and it swept around us and crashed over our entwined bodies as she kissed me again and again, softer kisses and less frenzied, but no less passionate for it, causing me to lose myself in that wonderful moment once more.

Life is about memories...she's given me so many, almost too many to count; and she was sharing one more with me right there and then. One good memory to replace the bad. Not to be forgotten, because how do you forget hurting the one you love like that? No, I won't forget what happened, not one second of it, but I can take it out of my mental playlist and file it elsewhere. Put it under 'regrets', and 'concerns' and cross file it under 'things to fucking learn from'. Put this memory in its place, fill the gap with something good.

Yes, I can do that, I can keep doing that; one day with a lot of luck and a lot of work, perhaps I can be whole again.

.

.

.

**A/N -** See it wasn't anything special...don't know what you were all making a fuss about.


	6. Moments in Time

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer –** I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent. Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame)

**Authors Note **– I saw a quote tweeted by Jack Thorne, (Skins God!) and I thought I'd share it today because it seems fitting (-:

_"Being a writer is like having homework every night for the rest of your life." _

_Lawrence Kasdan (Born 1949) Screenwriter_

Just as well I like writing, cause I sure as hell hated homework (-:

Right then...did anyone order some more fluff?

Don't worry, there's only a chapter or two of the Goa part of this then it's back to the original premise, yes I know I've been cheating on said premise and yes I know I've been drawing it out...hell, you should all know what I'm like by now (-:

**Chapter 6 – Moments in Time**

_Emily_

Naomi and I walked back to our hotel in a comfortable silence, our clothes dripping wet but starting to dry in the sunshine; a lovely memory of our little roll in the surf. I think we upset a passing family as we cavorted in the waves, the parents had looked at us with a disgust that reminded me of my mother. Funnily enough their young children hadn't batted an eyelid at our behaviour; it didn't even look as if they'd noticed. Just goes to show, your parents can be twats but you don't have to be like them.

I thought for a bit, as we walked hand in hand, about our own little dysfunctional set of friends. Panda with the hypocritical, anti-boy zealot for a mother; Thomas with a mother firmly buried in religion and community and as fanatical about one as the other. What a matched pair they are, I only hope they can find some peace together in America.

Effy and Cook both children of broken homes with parents that didn't seem to care enough. Effy with a mum that loved her, but came and went as the mood suited her. Cook with a mum that just didn't love him for who he is. Even my Naomi can love Cook so he can't be all that bad. As for Effy, well she's already been burned by love twice, I only hope Katie doesn't make it the hat trick; she deserves better.

Then we have JJ, the one with the mother that cared too much, the mother that sometimes stifled him and held him back from achieving his true potential; JJ with a father that loved him but spent most of his time hidden behind things, painfully shy yet apparently as astute as his son. He's happy now too, finally finding someone that can love him for who he is.

Then there was me and Katie; the normal kids, the normal family. Mum, dad and 2.4 children. The family with the normal, sensible three bedroom semi, the normal, sensible jobs and the normal, sensible home life that was anything but. Our little close, our little house containing the slut, the perv and the queer...and that was just the children.

That's how the suburbs hid their secrets, under a thin veil of respectability a veil that my mother hadn't wanted lifted at any cost.

Finally there's my Naomi, the product of a home that was anything but normal; still scarred as a result of being expected to exist in an adult world with nothing but a juvenile mind to understand it with. I couldn't hate Gina for anything, but I do wonder what Naomi would be like if she hadn't been so eccentric; if she hadn't kept leaving her in the company of strangers as she grew up, her little social experiment.

I know Gina was convinced that it would be good for her, help her develop as a person, and I know she's turned out ok in the end; my Naomi's smart, witty and erudite, but she's also still vulnerable, still so very insecure. Inside she's the scared little six year old girl she told me all about in that spare room after her accident; the accident _I_ caused by not really understanding who _she_ is, who she _really_ is.

I know now she's still the scared little six year old girl that's terrified of being rejected again. I saw that little girl return this afternoon; I saw the fear in her eyes and I saw the regrets. I saw that terrible fear come back, if only for a second, when I dunked her in the water and thoughtlessly gave her a reminder of something she's best off forgetting.

I also saw the look that flashed over her face when she saw that family walking along the beach, after they'd passed us making out in the surf. It wasn't a look of anger at their undisguised bigotry, more a look of regret at the image of mum and dad and their kids playing together on a beach. Just a simple, normal family; a family like mine used to be, happy with each other and holidaying together.

I saw the regrets of a seventeen year old woman painted all over her face for one brief moment in time, the regret of things that she never had, never experienced and always longed for. I saw her regret and I saw her fear; and I can't let this go on. We've got to confront that fucking elephant and I can't think of a better place or a better time than right now as we stroll, hand in hand, through the surf once more. We're in a place we both love, it's neutral territory and we're both happy; surely this is a safe time for us.

Besides, it's my birthday, she can't refuse me anything on my birthday can she?

"Naoms, can I talk to you about something?" I asked tentatively, testing the waters.

"Anything hun," she replied quickly, as if she hadn't even needed to think about it. As if telling me anything was the most natural thing in the world to her; which I know it isn't. I took a deep breath and squeezed her hand tightly stopping us in our tracks.

"Naoms, I want to be serious for a second, but I don't want to ruin anything for us today, is that ok?"

She nodded, slowly and sadly; I watched carefully as her shoulders sagged and her body deflated. Guilt visible on her face, guilt I know I can wipe away with one simple explanation of truth.

"Naomi...Look, I know you love me Naoms; everything you do, everything you say tells me that. But I need you to understand something babe. I love you as deeply, as powerfully as I think you love me; if not more so...I need you to stop doubting yourself babe because _I_ don't doubt _you_, you understand?

I _trust_ you Nai, I really do, I _trust_ you and I _love_ you. You make me happy, you make me laugh, you make me forget everything that's bad about my life just by being near me; you always have. I'm happier when I'm with you that at any time in my life. I'm happier right now than I've ever been, _ever!_ You and me babe, that's all I've ever wanted, all I'll ever need...

I _love_ you Naomi Campbell, I love you so much sometimes I feel I'm going to explode with the intensity of it all...but I need _you_ to believe it babe, believe in me, believe in us."

She ducked her head and stared at the sand, stared at it with an intensity that made me think that any second it would melt and turn to glass..

"Naomi? Look at me."

Slowly she raised her head; I reached out and cupped her cheeks, bringing her beautiful blue eyes up to meet mine, blinking slowly as she did so.

"I love you Naoms, I really, _really_ do. You've got to believe that."

I saw a slight lift in her eyes and her face brightened as a shy smile broke out on her face.

"I know hun, I know you do; at least, I think I know you do...but it's not easy. It's really not that easy for me. I can't just flick a switch and change who I am; even though I so desperately want to do just that. I'll try though, I promised, you push me and I'll try as hard as I can."

I stood on my tip-toes to kiss her, not easy when I was sinking into the soft wet sand, up to my ankles now as the surf swept over them, burying them as it did so.

"I'll push you Naoms," I told her. "I'll even pull you if that's what you need; but you've got to want to move forwards, ok? I can't drag you, I _won't_ try to drag you any more that wouldn't be fair. I won't ever force you to do anything that you don't want to do; but I _will_ be waiting for you on the other side when you're ready. I'll always be waiting for you."

"You're fucking wonderful you know that," she said resting her forehead on mine. "I...I think I'm getting there Ems, you won't have to wait for long."

"Good," I replied wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling on her hips. "Now, can we put my stupidity behind us and go back to the hotel and have a nice warm shower together, then we can get in some serious relaxing by the pool waiting for Katie to call. I sort of threatened her with rubbing sun cream into your back while we spoke, if you remember."

"Sun cream eh? Not oils then," she said, finally breaking through the tension and sniggering at me.

"Definitely not oils babe." I replied joining in. "Sun cream only, I wouldn't want to you burn that back of yours; you'd look terrible peeling."

I slipped my arms up her back and pulled her closer to me, pulling my feet out of the sand's grip to gain that extra bit of height.

"Besides, I kind of like the idea of you lying on your back on that huge bed of ours and helping me celebrate my birthday again...you wouldn't be able to do that if you were all burnt now would you? I'm sure we could find a use for some oils then couldn't we?"

"Jeez and you tell me I have a one track mind! Emily Fitch, my mother warned me about girls like you."

"Really, what did she say?" I teased, not expecting her to have a real answer; I was certainly not expecting her to rip the bag out of my arms and toss it onto the sand behind me. I really wasn't expecting her to pick me up and throw me over her shoulder and wade out into the water again; my heels kicking in protest.

"She warned me that if I ever met a sex crazed red-head that I shouldn't let her go, but I might have to cool her off every now and again for her own good."

"Naomi don't you dare..." I warned her, realising what she was going to do.

"Turnabouts fair play Fitch, time for me to make you all wet."

With a shriek I felt myself falling as she leaned forwards and dumped me unceremoniously into the water. Spluttering I regained my balance, but ended up swimming again as the waves knocked me off my feet. With a daft grin on my face at my predicament I splashed her as I floated in front of her.

"Well at least this fucking water is warm Naoms, not like the last time you pushed me in somewhere."

"You were the one that suggested going swimming in that lake Ems, I told you it wasn't a good idea."

"No you didn't," I said paddling over to her and hooking her with my legs; floating on my back to look up at her. "Not until _after_ we got out anyway."

"Yeah well," she said running her hands along my legs, carefully dragging her nails across the wet skin. "We could have done with a warm fucking shower after that dip as well."

"Absolutely," I agreed emphatically, "speaking of which, can we get back to the hotel without any more water fights do you think?"

She stood there waist deep in the warm blue water, her white linen beach shirt plastered to her body, practically transparent because of its soaking; showing off her curves almost better than had she not been wearing it. I drank in the vision of her like I'd been stranded in a desert for weeks and I'd just found an oasis. I couldn't get enough of her; soaked to the skin, hair dripping and plastered to her head, beads of water trickling down her face and past those luscious red lips. It's an image of Naomi I'll carry to my dying day, a perfect vision of totally natural beauty; my own Venus from the waves.

"When you've quite finished Ems?" she said, smiling down at me, making the image in my head even better; her smile making her face just glow.

I'm happy that that moment was put behind us again. It was an important moment and I'm glad it happened, glad all of it happened; but I'm really glad we can get back to being her and me again, without the ghosts, without the bad thoughts.

I pressed my heels against her hips, maintaining our contact just under the water's surface, and stretched out my legs, floating with my arms behind my head. I lay there in the warm water just relaxing and staring at her body with barely concealed hunger. I wish it wasn't so far to the hotel, wish there weren't so many people around, wish we were both a lot more adventurous.

It would be fun doing it here, I know it!

"Ems what _are_ you doing?"

"Looking at my birthday present and thinking about how nice it would be to unwrap it right now."

She cocked her head to the side and looked at me as if I'd gone mad.

"What birthday present?"

I returned her look, with one of disbelief at her stupidity, and paddled my way closer to her again, flicking at the water with my hands, tightening my grip on her with my legs.

"You, you daft twat; don't you know that you're all my birthdays and Christmases come at once?"

"You," she said, smiling and leaning forward into my scissor grip; pushing her hands firmly onto my hips, "are a cheesy fucker that I should dunk under that water right now!"

I went to interrupt to stop her from dunking me again, but she grinned before assuming her snooty look and continued.

"However, because of the underlying endearing sweetness behind your words, the fact that it's your birthday _and_ we really don't have time for another water fight. I shall, for once, resist the temptation."

I held out my hands to her, giggling at her fake aloofness; and taking them, she allowed me to right myself in the water. "You love it." I replied smugly, finally finding my feet.

She smiled and scrunched her nose as she leaned down to kiss me.

"Yeah probably; but only because it's you! I don't think I could stand that from anyone else."

o+o+o

There was a telephone message waiting for me when we got back to the hotel, as we walked across the tiled floor surface I was called to the desk and handed a piece of paper.

"Anything interesting hun?"

It was, it was from my dad; and it cheered me up just to see his name written down.

"Dad called babe," I told her; "he left me a happy birthday message, wants me to give him a ring if I can spare him five minutes."

"Do you have anything pressing to do right now?" she joked, knowing that we had nothing pressing to do at all, we _are_ on holiday after all. Though there is Katie's call to think about amongst other things.

"Well apart from take that shower with you, not really babe, but that is a rather pressing need."

"Well then," she said grinning and walking away from me towards the stairs in the corner of reception, "the sooner you chat to him the sooner you can take your shower."

With that she left me standing with my note, wondering what the hell to do next. I turned to the expectant receptionist.

"Excuse me, can I return this call from my room? Do I dial direct or…" The receptionist just smiled at my confusion and nodded.

"If you would like Miss Fitch we can make the call for you, and then transfer it to your room. Would you like to leave the number with me and let me try to make the connection for you?"

"Er..sure, could you give me five or ten minutes though, I'd like to get upstairs and get changed first."

"Naturally, I'll make the call at twenty past three if that is convenient. I shall transfer it as soon as…" he looked down at the note, "..Mr Fitch is available."

"Great, erm..how do I pay for the call?"

"It will be charged to your room Miss Fitch, international call rates are displayed in the information pack."

Great, it'd probably cost me a fucking fortune to call the UK from India, especially from a hotel like this, but it'd be more than worth it to speak to dad.

I left the phone note with the guy behind the desk and headed for the stairs, as I rounded the corner into the stairwell I fell over the blonde figure that was sat on the bottom step.

"Naoms, shit sorry. I thought you'd gone off to the room already." I said as I untangled myself from the mess of limbs and bag handles I'd found myself in.

"I was waiting for you hun, didn't realise you weren't following me."

"Yeah, just arranging to call dad babe, wasn't sure what I was supposed to do."

"Oh," she said, sounding surprised, "I thought you'd have just called him from the room, that's why I walked off. Sorry hun."

"S'ok," I said dragging her to her feet. "All sorted now, shall we?"

We headed upstairs to the room that had clearly been tidied by room service in our absence; and I quickly took off my shirt and swimsuit and pulled on a worn, but dry pair of shorts.

"Nice," Naomi said coming out of the bathroom and winking at my topless state, "I should leave you on your own more often if this is what I return to."

I stuck my tongue out at her, but her reply was lost in the ringing of the phone. Flopping onto the bed I picked up the handset and answered it.

"Miss Fitch I have Mr Fitch on the line, shall I transfer the call now?"

"Please." I replied and waited expectantly for the click and dad's scouse accent.

"_Emily you there?"_

"Hi Dad!" I squealed, I love my dad, love him to bits. I hadn't realised how much I'd missed him until I heard his voice. Trouble with being a daddy's girl, it doesn't matter how long we're apart I always miss him.

"_Happy birthday Emsy darling, how does it feel to be eighteen and all grown up?"_

"Feels great Dad, though I've been eighteen for a long time now, it's nearly half past three in the afternoon here."

"_Really? Well I guess that explains why you weren't around when I called earlier. I thought you were just ignoring my call, you know…I thought that you and Naomi might have been spending the morning in bed or something."_

"DAD!" I shouted down the phone, I mean really…like I want to discuss my sex life with him."

"_Emsy love, you were the one that thought it was ok to bring up you and Naomi at the dinner table, twice as I recall. I thought it was an ok topic for discussion."_

He's teasing me now, I know he is; but that's ok.

"I'm so glad you rang dad, it's really nice to hear from you. I was only thinking about you this morning, I really miss you."

"_What and you wanted to know what your mum and I got you for your birthday?"_

"_NO!_" I defended myself vigorously, "I hope you haven't got me anything dad, I don't need anything at all...seriously."

"_Well your mum and I have put a few quid into your kitty love, from us and James. What the creditors don't know about they can't nick off me you know? I'd rather you had it than them."_

"But dad…"

"_No buts Emsy love, Katie's had her present and we've done the same for you. The only thing your mum and I regret is that you're not with us to throw a party for you, we'll just have to do it for your 21__st__ though."_

I was distracted from thoughts of 21st birthday parties by Naomi walking past the foot of the bed and picking up my discarded bikini and shirt. We'd been making an effort to always wash off the sea water in the shower after wearing them and she was obviously in all domesticated mode again; finding jobs for herself to do so I could have a moment alone with my dad.

Trouble was, she was doing it naked; and that's just not fair when I'm on the phone, _especially_ to my dad.

"_Emsy, you still there?"_

"Yeah, I'm…sorry dad, Naomi wanted something."

"_You sound happy Emsy, is the hotel nice? What did Naomi get for your birthday?"_

I spent a happy ten minutes telling him all about the hotel and everything else Naomi had done for me, listening as he muttered appreciatively.

"_Sounds like the trip of a lifetime love, I think I'm only a little bit jealous of you; we all are you know? You're a lucky girl to have someone that loves you that much Ems"_

"Yeah, we're really lucky dad, _I'm_ really lucky. I'm having a great time here, we both are."

I heard the sound of the shower from the bathroom and frowned at the thought that she was starting without me.

"_You don't know how happy I am to hear that; listen Emsy love I'm really sorry to do this to you, but I've got to run. I've got a class in two minutes and there's no other bugger around here to cover for me. I'm really glad we got to speak love, you have a great birthday and you and Naomi have a drink on me and your mum. We all miss you love."_

"I will dad, send my best to James."

"_and your mum?"_

"Yeah send it to her as well, if she gives a damn." Yes I'm still bitter, no I haven't forgiven her. I'm not sure I ever will.

"_She does Emsy, she misses you as well you know? She might not show it to you very well but she loves you as much as I do. Right I've really got to go, these buggers won't get fit if there isn't a Fitch around to set them right. Keep in touch Emily, Happy Birthday again darling, love you."_

"Love you too dad, thanks."

The line went dead as dad hung up, probably already running to his next fitness class. I was so happy he was in work and enjoying himself. He'd seemed more like his old self every time I'd seen him recently. He'd been totally broken after he'd admitted he'd lost the gym, lost our house. He deserved to be happy, my dad did, because he's fucking awesome; there's no other term for it really.

I put the handset back down onto its base and slipped off my shorts, padding softly across the tiled floor as I headed into the bathroom. Naomi was stood washing her hair under the cascading water as I slipped in behind her, taking over the lathering as I did so.

"You started without me," I chided good naturedly, "I'm hurt."

"Sorry love," she replied, leaning back towards me. "I thought I'd better get a head start to make sure you had time to get ready before Katie rang."

"Well that might be the case Naomi Campbell, but I'm still hurt, I wanted to wash your back. You're going to have to work very hard to make it up to me."

She turned around and pulled me under the vertical cascade of water, a distinct improvement over the wall mounted showerhead we had at ours.

"I think my next surprise will more than make up for it Ems, but if you're still hurt I'm sure I can give you a good reason to forgive me."

"Another surprise," I asked as she spun me around and began to soap up my hair; "what is it this time?"

"If I told you that Miss Fitch," she said her long fingers digging into my scalp, "then it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?"

"Tease."

"Yeah, but you love it."

I nodded as she carefully washed my hair, before rubbing some of the hotels fancy soap into my shoulders and back.

"Oh god, that feels great."

"You're very tense Ems, I thought you were supposed to be all relaxed."

"Oh I am relaxed Nai, more relaxed than I've been before in fact. I've had a great day

"It's not over yet sweetheart."

I was going to comment further but her arms reached around me and rubbed soap suds over my chest, my stomach and then down to soap my thighs and my calves.

"Fuck me that feels better than great babe."

I could hear her giggling to herself as her hands ran up and down my legs before running up the back of my thighs and slapping me on the ass.

"Come on you, under the water, let's get you rinsed off."

I turned to face her, my best baby-girl pout on my face.

"Aw, can't you just keep going with the soap babe, things were just starting to get interesting."

She ran her hands through my hair, rinsing out the shampoo before I felt them twist and grip then pull me painfully towards her as she crushed our lips together. We stood under that warm waterfall, lips and tongues moving in that blissful harmony I've only ever experienced with her. I was just considering taking us a little bit further, my hands wandering gently over her body exploring those places I knew so well; unfortunately we were distracted by the sound of the phone.

"Shit, _Shit!_" I shouted, pulling away from her and fumbling with the screen in a frantic attempt to get out of the shower and answer the phone.

"Ems it's ok don't panic it's all right." Naomi told me, her voice soothing, her hand reassuring. "I booked an alarm call for five to, that's all."

She pulled me back under the water and kissed me once more with passion.

"Do you really think I'd let you miss Katie's call hun?" she said, before Eskimo kissing the tip of my nose; the water trickling off her face making her look particularly lovely. "I thought it best to set a reminder in case we were up here and not outside."

"You think of everything don't you?"

"I try."

If I'm absolutely honest at this point Katie can get to fuck, I'm really not interested in speaking to her right now. I'm far more interested in grabbing the blonde in front of me and fucking her right where she stands; or perhaps dragging her soaking body out and onto that bed where I'm positive I can find lots of new and interesting ways to dry her off. Unfortunately for me and my ambitions, she must have read my mind and stepped away; out of the shower and out of my reach.

"Come back here you," I ordered throatily. Naoms just shook her head, smiled and held out a towelling robe for me to step into.

"No time honey, can't keep Katiekins waiting you know. Besides," she added as I stepped into the robe and she wrapped her arms around me, "told you, the sooner you're done with her, the sooner I can give you your next present."

Again I was interrupted from commenting further by the ringing of the phone. "Fucks sake, how many times are they going to fucking ring?"

"I think that one might just be your sister Ems."

"Fuck."

Quickly Naomi wrapped the robe around me and loosely tied the belt before pushing me through the door. I jogged back into the bedroom, holding the robe around me and retying the belt tightly. Diving onto the bed, I leaned over and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

_"Junior!"_

Yup, definitely Katie, fucking birthday traditions. "How's things Kay?"

_"Fucking early if you must know Ems, it's like three fucking thirty here you know? I hope you appreciate this sis 'cause I need my beauty sleep or Effy is going to hate me in the morning."_

I heard muttering in the background, I didn't pay it much attention for two reasons. One, I was trying to work out where Katie and Effy could be for it to be three in the morning; and two, Naomi had just sat on the bed and begun gently stroking my leg, brushing down the back of my calf before turning her hand and dragging her nails up to the back of my knee. I could feel my body shiver as she touched the spot where I'm very sensitive, her single finger gently scraping in the crease of my knee. I glared at her as she tried to look all innocent, and carried on regardless.

"Katie...where the fuck are you sis? Where the fuck has Effy taken you?"

_"Hey, were in Vegas baby! Effy's taken me to Sin City."_

My jaw could have literally hit the floor if it hadn't been attached to the rest of my head. Beside me Naomi sniggered at my look and continued her gentle stroking

"I...I thought you were in Paris Kay."

_"Yeah, well that's where I thought I was going, right up until we got to the fucking airport. I always knew she was a secretive fucking cow, but...OW..."_

I lost her again to the muttering before, _"Sorry Emsy, Effy decided she didn't like being called a secretive fucking cow, even if that's exactly what she is, in a good way that is."_

"Yeah, I know what you mean Kay, I've got one here like that."

_"Yeah, that's right; where did she take you Ems, you said it was somewhere special?"_

I told her at length about the hotel, the luxury room, the room service; everything really. What we've done and just how great it's making me feel. I don't think I'll get tired of telling people about this place, it's perfect. I can almost feel her turning green with envy as we talked…it's great.

_"I'm glad sis, you fucking deserve it after the last few months, I guess you both do."_

"Yeah," I agreed, "I guess you and Effy deserve your trip as much as we do. So go on tell me all about it."

I lounged back on the bed to listen to Katie, batting away my blonde lover, who seemed insistent on opening my robe, peeling back my towel and placing her lips all over my body.

'Stop it' I mouthed at her, eyes wide in protest. She smiled and shook her head, flicking her tongue across my belly bar.

_"We'll we're not anywhere as nice as a Marriott Ems, we're actually in a bit of a cheap ass hotel, but it's just off the strip, it's got character but most of all it's cheap and clean. We literally flew in just in time for me to ring you yesterday; had to call you from the airport because we got delayed out of New York for some stupid fucking reason that I didn't fucking care about. Still it's all cool now, we hit the strip, had a wander around the casinos and then headed back to our hotel. Hence me ringing you at stupid o'clock in the morning."_

I suddenly had my brain kick into gear, not easy when there's someone placing delicate little kisses down the inside of your thigh.

"Hey Katie, that means you've only just turned eighteen...happy birthday _Junior_!"

_"Ha Ha, very funny Ems, I told you last night geography doesn't change anything."_

"Sis it does, I've been eighteen for...sixteen and a quarter hours now and you've barely made three. I am officially older than you. Suck it up Junior, who's the baby now?"

_"Not funny Ems, I'm still eldest twin, I'm still the most mature, best looking and most stylish twin, so there!"_

Yeah it was juvenile, yeah it was silly but it was us, totally us, something we'd been doing for years.

"Yeah? Well I'm the most intelligent, the most well read, the most likely to succeed and get a proper job, _AND_ I'm the one with the most wonderful girlfriend in the world who'd better stop what she's doing right fucking _now_...Naomi! _Stop that._.."

_"Ew Emsy, I'm not calling fuck knows how many thousand miles to hear you shag Blondie again; I had enough of that when I stayed at yours. Fucks sake do you two ever stop and breathe."_

"Whatever Katie; like you and Effy haven't created your own shag palace in that flat."

_"Tacky Ems, shag palace...you sound like Cook."_

I swung my legs and pushed Naomi away, watching as she rolled across the bed chuckling to herself. Casually I dropped my feet onto her stomach and rested them there.

"That's not nice Katie, Cook's a twat." I winked at Naomi as she slapped my toes, pouting at me for calling her friend a twat, even if he is.

_"Yeah well Emsy, you _so_ did sound like him then. Anyway, what Effy and I may get up to in our flat is none of your fucking business so there."_

"definitely a shag palace Naoms," I said to annoy Katie.

"Yeah I know," she said loudly, "Effy keeps e-mailing me with the details, she was going to send me pictures the other day."

I hope that's not true, I so hope for both her and Effy's sakes that's not true because Katie Fitch has just overheard her say that, and Katie Fitch is about to have a Fitch-Fit. I can hear it as she stammers for breath, it's coming and it's not going to be pretty. Casually I moved the phone away from my ear.

_"EFFY! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN E-MAILING THAT FUCKING LEZZER WITH?"_

Naomi collapsed into a ball at the foot of the bed, her body convulsing with laughter at the sound of Katie's voice.

_"YOU ARE SO DEAD STONEM, IF I FIND OUT THAT YOU'VE..."_

There was a brief muttering in the background and the sound of a hasty denial and a muffled apology.

"_Tell that fucking lezzer she's fucking dead Junior, I don't find that funny…neither does Effy."_

"Aw come on sis she's just teasing you, I can't believe you fell for it, you must be tired."

"_Yeah, whatever, she's still dead when I see her next. Why don't you push her in the pool or something for me, give me a birthday treat."_

"Aw Kay, I'd love to, but we're not at the pool, dad called earlier so I called him back when we got in from the beach. We're running a bit behind schedule so we're currently lying in bed."

"_You have a schedule, on holiday…on your birthday, jeez Ems what kind of a loser does that?"_

"One that wants to speak to her sister in between the rampant shagging she's doing with her girlfriend all over Goa; do you _know_ how long it took to fit you into my schedule? I'm a busy girl!"

"_Fuck you Junior."_

I took a leaf straight out of Naomi's book with my response, "Yeah Katiekins, fuck you right back!"

We laughed at each other for a second before falling into silence. Even though we're separated by thousands of miles and twelve hours of time I felt closer to my sister than I'd ever felt before. I guess I've got Naomi to thank for that; for inviting her into our home that time and even for going off the rails the way she did.

All of that, everything that happened between us, allowed Katie to finally show me how much she really cared. We'd originally become closer because I had finally grew a pair and stood up to her; stopping me resenting her for how she behaved. We'd become even closer when she'd nursed me through the pain of Naomi vanishing and everything that happened after we found her; when she'd shown me that she really did understand what a big sister is supposed to be like.

I felt Naomi move on the bed and a tissue was dabbed under my eyes, the white paper cloth soaking up the tears that were falling freely.

"I miss you Katie," I told her through my tears, "I fucking miss having you around today."

"_I miss you too Emsy, but it's not all bad is it? At least we're with people that care about us yeah? It could have been worse this year couldn't it, we could have spent our eighteenth together but alone and fucking miserable. I think I'd rather be apart and happy if they are the only choices."_

"Yeah, you're right Katie, you're absolutely right. When did you get so bloody clever?"

"_Effy told me the same thing the other day Ems, I nicked it from her. I'm not that clever you know?"_

"You're cleverer than you think sis, you're going to Uni aren't you?"

"_Yeah, I am I guess. Hey Ems, look, I need to get to bed junior. I'm sorry, I'd really love to talk for longer but this call is probably costing me a fortune and I'm fucking shattered. Besides you've got a schedule to keep haven't you and I'd hate to deprive you of a shag on your birthday."_

"You're not depriving me of anything Kay; been there done that, got the bite marks. Besides, like you're not eyeing up Effy like a plate of meat right now."

She laughed at my comment, and I knew I was right. _"Still with the TMI Emsy, I think I preferred you when you were the quiet one you know?"_

"Yeah? Too bad Kay, I'm all grown up now."

_"That makes two of us then Ems, look I've really got to go, I'll drop you an e-mail as soon as I get chance; swap some holiday photo's yeah? Enjoy what's left of your birthday junior."_

"You too Kay, love you."

"_Love you too Emsy."_

A sudden thought popped into my head before I put the phone down, "Kay!" called out hoping to catch her before she hung up.

"_Yeah, still here sis."_

"Just because you're in Las Vegas doesn't mean you two should get pissed and go and get married you know, I'll be angry if I miss your wedding."

"_Too late Ems, it was the first thing we did when we landed, the chaplain was dressed as Elvis, it was fucking awesome. I'll send you pictures. Love you."_

The line went dead, leaving me in a state of shock. I hope she's kidding, no…she's got to be kidding. Seriously even if she's that daft, Effy would be the sensible one wouldn't she?

"What's up Ems?"

"Katie and Effy have got married." I said, deciding that if it was a joke, she might as well fall for it as well. "Katie says going to e-mail us pictures of the ceremony, complete with Elvis impersonator..."

"Oh that is fucking _priceless_," she said flopping back on the bed and laughing away, her body jiggling as she did so. "Jesus, how cool is that?"

"That's not funny," I said rolling on top of her, enjoying the feeling of our bare skin pressing against each other, "I don't want to miss my sisters wedding. Anyway, I'm sure she's messing me about, they just wouldn't do that."

"Hun, they went from rivals, to friends, to lovers, to moving in together in the space of a month or so. What makes you think they wouldn't get married at the drop of a hat, after all neither one of them is particularly sane."

"You're just trying to wind me up Nai." I said, still not very sure about it. I mean she seems to be swapping e-mails with Effy, so what does she know that I don't?

"Of course I'm winding you up Ems, they _can't_ get married in Las Vegas, it's not allowed in Nevada you ninny, remember? Besides, do you really think Katie would do something like that? I'm sure when she gets married it'll make Jordan's wedding look like a cheap registry office do."

I let her words sink in and thought about them for a second before responding. It was pretty obvious when I thought about it, I did know about Las Vegas and its backwards laws, we'd joked about it long ago, when we first started planning our trip around the world. Doesn't mean I'm not going to let her get away with it though. Quickly I dragged myself up and knelt over her chest, pinning her to the bed and playfully slapping her about the head.

"That's not very nice Naomi Campbell, stop it …you can't tease me on my birthday."

"I remember teasing you early this morning Emily Fitch, I remember you calling me a tease right here on this bed and you didn't seem to be complaining then, not really."

I stopped hitting her for a second, instead placing my hands either side of head and leaning down.

"That was different," I told her, lowering my voice to attempt the sexy whisper she tells me she loves so much. "That was the _right_ kind of teasing Naomi Campbell, but even then it's sometimes not fair."

She didn't actually respond to me, not in words anyway, the cow stretched up her neck and as I closed my eyes to kiss her she ran her wet tongue across my nose.

"Nai, that's fucking disgusting, stop it."

"Just showing you what that tongue can do Ems, you don't normally complain."

I could feel my lips twitching as I stared down at her, desperately trying to maintain my offended face. She pushed out her tongue again and waggled it suggestively and I collapsed into her shoulder laughing away.

"Fuck Naoms I love you."

"I know hun," she replied, her arms wrapping around me. "I love you too. Now, are you ready for the next part of your birthday present yet?"

"Depends if it involves you, me, this bed and a large bottle of massage oil." I replied, sliding my body to her side and hooking my leg over hers.

"Well funnily enough…"

o+o+o

I was slightly disappointed as she led me down the corridor, she'd promised me her and me and massage oil and then told me to get dressed, ready for the pool. She'd slipped into her bikini then pulled her shirt and shorts over the top and waited patiently as, somewhat confused, I'd done the same; before leading me out of our room and down to the ground floor.

"Naoms, where are…" I started only to be silenced with a finger.

"Trust me Ems, you said you trust me didn't you."

"With my life babe," I replied honestly, "I just want…"

Her finger silenced me once more and I sighed and went along with it. Obviously her surprise is a big secret again and I'm not going to deny her that, no matter how curious I am. I know one thing thought, we're not heading towards the pool.

"Here we are hun, this is where I leave you for an hour or two ok?" She shepherded me through the door into the hotels small, but well equipped gym. I'm not sure what the surprise is but I'm a little offended.

"Nai, I know I've been eating a lot this trip, but I'm _not_ putting on weight you know." I told her indignantly as she dragged me towards the instructor in the corner. Suddenly she stopped and, getting a leer from a sweating bloke on an exercise bikein the corner, grabbed me and kissed me soundly.

"Ems I wouldn't care if you were twice your size ok?" she said breaking away and staring me in the eyes, her hands gripping my shoulders almost painfully. "I've told you that before; I'm not _that_ shallow. Anyway, that's not what you're here for, not on your birthday."

She grabbed my hand once more and led me over to the staff member stood in the corner.

"This is Emily Fitch," she said, introducing me, "she's here for the works."

The member of staff looked down at a clipboard and smiled, gesturing for me to go through a set of doors. Confused again; wondering what she meant by the works, I turned to Naomi.

"It's ok Ems, this is your second to last surprise," she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek," enjoy yourself honey. I'll see you in a bit."

With that she spun and practically skipped away; Naomi Campbell, ice queen and self avowed grumpy bitch skipped away from me with a happy smile on her face. I can only imagine what she's got lined up for me, I hope it's something nice, I really can't cope with the idea of a workout, not today anyway; not that kind of a workout anyway.

o+o+o

Just over an hour later I know exactly what she had planned for me as I found myself face down and naked on a table with strong hands rubbing massage oils into my skin.

It could only be better if it was actually her that was doing it, though actually, the masseuse that is currently turning my muscles to absolute jelly is a fucking superstar. It's almost embarrassing the way I've been grunting and groaning as she's pounded away on my body; it feels pretty fucking good though, so I don't really care.

After Naomi had left me I was ushered through into the hotels private spa area and given a white fluffy robe and asked to undress; I placed my things into a convenient locker and removed the key, slipping the band around my wrist. As I walked into the treatment room I was given some towels to cover myself and slipped out of my robe and onto the table. The treatment Naomi had apparently arranged began with a full body scrub, the pores of my skin being leached of every last contaminant, the dead skin being forced from my body by the abrasive salt rub that filled the room with more than a hint of peppermint.

As the masseuses strong hands swept up and down my body I could feel the soft scratching as the scrub did its work, the faint tingling as the peppermint cooled my skin feeling like Naomi's delicate kisses. I gave up on the towels as I was turned over, I'm no longer shy about my body, never really have been if I'm honest. But my time with Naomi has definitely cured me of that, and a female masseuse is not going to frighten me into hiding away; I'm sure she's seen it all before.

Besides, have you ever tried fucking about with towels when getting a body scrub? Fucking ridiculous that's what it is, whatever you do they just won't stay in place. I left it up to her to protect my modesty and just lay back and enjoyed the experience.

After being scrubbed to within an inch of my life, I was beckoned over to a small shower unit where I stood underneath the jets; washing the crusty remnants of the rub and dead skin from my body. Then I was ushered into a small steam room where I sat for what felt like hours being slowly cooked at gas mark five before being allowed out, only to be made to jump into a cool water pool.

Actually to be honest I'm making it sound worse than it was, it was actually fucking amazing. The salt scrub had totally exfoliated me, making my skin feel smooth and soft; and the steam room was making me sweat out the rigors of the last couple of days. As I'd rubbed my hands across my thighs, removing the tiny droplets of sweat from my body, I'd been amazed at just how good my skin felt.

I was looking forward to getting the opportunity to show my girlfriend how good my skin felt, hoping that she'd want to examine everywhere, just to ensure I'd got her money's worth of course.

If the scrub, the shower and the steam room were amazing, the plunge into the cold pool was an experience I could really do without. I know why you do it, to close up the open pores, but it really wasn't pleasant. The only thing that kept me going as I swam across the short length to the other side was the memories it gave me of Naomi and I swimming in our lake for the first time. Shame she wasn't around to remind me of what came after, actually, it's a shame she isn't here to experience this pain with me.

As I emerged from the freezing water I wrapped myself in the robe and waited to see what happened next. As it happened the choice was mine.

"Do you want your massage now Miss Fitch or would you like to try something else first?"

"Er, what do you offer?" I asked, trying desperately to stop my teeth chattering as I rubbed myself down with the towelling robe.

"Well you could have a facial massage, a manicure or a pedicure."

"Yes please, to all three." I said enthusiastically. Hell, if I was going to be pampered I liked the idea of going to town; as Naomi had said that first night, 'we aren't going to get much luxury on this trip, enjoy it while you can'. The masseuse looked a little sheepish and glanced at the list in front of her.

"Look whatever they cost put them on my room, I'll pay for them is that ok?" I was determined to enjoy this and I had enough put away to cover for this. In fact I think I'll use whatever dad had put into my savings account and call it their birthday present to me. I'm going to fucking wow Naomi tonight, even if I haven't got a really posh dress for dinner I'm going to pull together something nice out of my belongings and I'm going to wear her birthday presents and show them off. I'm going to make her proud to be seen with me in a place like this.

"I can charge you for the manicure and pedicure, the facial has been booked as part of the package."

"That's fine," I replied grinning happily, "if that's all ok then I think I'll start with that."

So here I find myself, lying face down on a table smelling of peppermint and eucalyptus as the aromatherapy massage reaches its peak. My face is tingling from that wonderful facial, my nails are now perfect and my muscles are turning to butter under the expert ministrations.

I don't think I've ever felt so relaxed, I have _got_ to treat Naomi to one of those spa weekend breaks in an expensive hotel when we get home, I'll get a fucking job all through Uni if I need to. She and I are going to experience this together one day. I know she's not really into all this stuff, but I know she'll enjoy it once I get her to climb down off her soapbox and just allow herself to experience it.

It's not like I haven't managed to change her mind about other things in the past, I am Katie Fitch's twin after all, even if I am more subtle when I manipulate someone.

Finally the masseuse stepped away from the table and placed a towel across my still tingling body. I'm feeling like I've become part of this table, that I'm so heavy I can't possibly move.

"Miss Fitch?" I heard the masseuses voice from beside me. I tried to raise my head from the hole in the table it was resting in, but I couldn't bring myself to move, didn't want to move and ruin this feeling. I just grunted happily in response.

"I suggest you remain here for a minute or two before you try to get up, allow your muscles to get used to the feeling. You might find yourself a little unsteady as you try to stand so please be careful. When you are ready you can get dressed and through the door over there you will find the spa's hot tub. Many of our guests take advantage of it after their treatments."

I must admit that sounds good, I'm not sure if it will do me any good after all of this but why not. A soak in a hot tub can only be a good thing, can't it?

"Miss Fitch, your friend asked me to mention that she will meet you in the tub room at your convenience."

Well that settled it, I've always enjoying finding myself in a bath with Naomi, it might not be as private as the one in our bathroom but it's certainly going to be larger.

"Thanks," I grunted, managing to raise my head to look at her. "That was fabulous."

She smiled before standing, bowing slightly and leaving me alone. Reluctantly I started the process of dragging my liquefied muscles off the table, using the motivation of seeing Naomi as my reason for moving. Struggling a little I grabbed my bikini from the locker and pulled it on, pulling on my sandals and wrapping myself in the robe once more; holding the rest of my clothes in my hands.

I pushed my way through the door to the hot tub room hoping that I'd find Naomi waiting in there for me; as I opened the door I heard a familiar voice call out.

"Well it's about time you joined me, what on earth kept you?"

.

.

.

**A/N -** Yeah, I will get bored of writing about this birthday one day soon, I promise. See more cheating...telephone calls and no letters. Still it's my story I'll write it any way I like...won't I Hawke? d-:


	7. Payback's A Bitch

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer –** I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent. Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame)

**Authors Note **– Well hello again, chapter 7 already, who'd have thunk it with my ability to procrastinate! Still not bored yet? Ah well, bit of a change this week.

This one's for TigerRam...start and end

(-;

**Chapter 7 – Paybacks A Bitch.**

_Emily_

"_Well it's about time you joined me, what on earth kept you?"_

To say I'm shocked is an understatement, to say that I'm speechless would be a gross understatement. My brain seems to have simply melted and poured itself out of my ears to land on the floor with a dull wet thwack.

That is, I have to say, the last thing I expected to see.

"Katie...but...but...you're supposed to be in Vegas!"

o+o+o

_Naomi_

There are days when things go right and there are days when things go very right indeed. Well so far so good. After shepherding Ems down to the spa and leaving her to it. I headed back upstairs and headed into reception. It wasn't long before the two of them arrived, and the familiar figure of Katie Fitch swaggered into the hotel followed closely by a broadly grinning Effy dragging a small trolley case behind her. They were both looking as pale as night despite their swimsuits and over clothes but they were smiling, their hands clasped together.

"Hi guys, welcome to paradise," I said warmly as they came over to meet me. "Happy birthday Katie, are you having fun so far?"

"Yeah I am thanks; I can see why Emily loves that beach we've had a great day just lounging around on it. Talking of which lezzer, where is my sister?"

I looked across at Effy who shrugged. "I told her the plan on the plane Naomi, don't blame me."

"I remember the plan," Katie snapped, "I was _trying_ to make sure she was out of the way."

"She's having her spa treatment Katie," I told her, "I've just this second dropped her off. She's going to be spending the next hour or so being pampered to within an inch of her life."

"Lucky cow," Katie said frowning, "after that flight I could do with some pampering myself. Some of us had to fly economy to get here, _some_ of us didn't get a free upgrade because we were travelling with someone with a stupid name."

I couldn't help smiling at that, Katiekins was still jealous of our luck, fortunately I had the cure for that. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a card.

"Here you go then Katie, happy birthday from me and Ems. Hope you enjoy it."

She squinted suspiciously at me, taking the card and holding it as if it was about to explode.

"Open it Katie, it's not like it contains a picture of me and your sister having sex or anything, unlike those e-mails Effy keeps sending me."

I got nothing but a glance from Effy and a glare from Katie for my attempt at humour; still it had been more than worth it to watch her nearly drop the card when I said it.

"Go on Kay, see what it is, Jesus I'm dying here," Effy said peering over Katie's shoulder, despite knowing full well what the card contained.

"Fancy a drink Eff, they've got a great bar that overlooks the bay here." I said casually, acting as nonchalantly as I could as Katie opened up her present.

"Yeah, a drink sounds good. Pity Kay can't join us isn't it."

We were like a finely tuned double act; me delivering the set up line, Effy waiting until she had realised her girlfriend had actually read the card and what it contained to deliver the punch line. Perfect bloody timing, Katie's face lit up when she read the note.

"Fucking hell, cool. I _so_ deserve this. Thanks Naomi."

I got the most tentative of hugs from Katie, as if she was almost embarrassed to be doing it. I couldn't blame her, I'm fucking embarrassed to be receiving it. Still it's not all bad. It's better than her throwing things at me.

"You're welcome Katie, now don't you have to be somewhere?"

Katie let go of me and turned to hug Effy, "Now you be good while I'm gone Effy Stonem, no getting drunk without me, and make sure this dodgy lezzer doesn't try anything, you're mine ok?"

"Bugger off Kay, go and enjoy your pampering and I'll join you in a bit ok? You and Emily have a bit of twin time together. Naomi and I are going to go and get so smashed now we're going to embarrass you and Emily at dinner tonight with our drunken exploits and make this a birthday you'll never forget."

"You've already managed that Eff," Katie replied, leaning to kiss Effy on the cheek her hand playing affectionately down her girlfriends arm; "I don't think I'll ever forget what you've done for me on my birthday."

"Aw, how cute are you two," I said, with more than a hint of amusement in my voice. "We could bottle that and sell it as a sugar replacement it was so sweet."

Katie glared at me, her familiar scowl ruined only by twitching lips, "Screw you Campbell, this is nothing compared to how you and my sister behave. Most of the time you two make me want to pull my eyes out and block up my ears."

I shrugged at her a smile on my lips, it's not as if it isn't true. "Now, if you two will excuse me; I think there is some serious luxury for me to indulge in."

Pausing only to kiss Effy gently again she sashayed off in the direction of the pool, I waited until she had got halfway across reception before calling her name. She stopped and turned.

"It's that way," I said pointing at the corridor next to where Effy and I were standing getting another glare as she turned and walked back the way she'd come.

"That was cruel Naomi, you did that deliberately." Effy said, smirking at me as we watched Katie walk down the corridor to the spa.

"No Eff, _cruel_ is when she finds out she has to be Naomi Campbell for the next few hours, that's going to kill her."

I have to say that, for me, is the best bit, you have to be a guest to use the spa, so to treat Katie I had to book it in my name. The note in the card did make it clear so I hope she actually read it. I can't help grinning at the thought of Katie having to respond to 'Miss Campbell' for the next few hours; it's really quite laughable, given our history.

"Well as long as she enjoys her spa treatment that's the main thing," Effy replied linking her arm with mine. "Now I'm sure you mentioned something about a drink."

I led her off through reception to the outdoor pool. Dumping my stuff on a lounger I stripped to my swimsuit and slipped into the pool, savouring the feeling as the cool water enveloped my skin. I surfaced to see Effy stood by the side of the pool eyeing me suspiciously.

"What?" I asked her, standing and running my hands through my hair plastering it back against my scalp.

"You mentioned something about a bar, and a drink?" she replied folding her thin arms across her chest.

"Yeah, so get in then," I said leaning back and allowing myself to float in the sunshine, "swim up bar!"

A broad smile came over Effy's face at my words and she ripped off her top and sarong, duping them on the floor where she stood, and jumped in, splashing me as she landed. I stood there waiting for her to surface only to feel my legs dragged from under me and I collapsed back into the water kicking out to regain my balance. I surfaced for the second time that afternoon.

"Cow," I said as I spat the last of the water out of my mouth at Effy's smirk.

"You bet, missed you Campbell, I missed that trademark scowl."

"Yeah well, I guess I missed that trademark smirk Stonem." I swam over to her and gave her a hug, probably shocking her a little. "It's good to see you mate, glad you could get here."

"Yeah well, having divorcing parents is a good for something I guess. I told dad he owed me a holiday for fucking abandoning me, and he bought me the tickets on that site you told me about. It's not like he can't afford it."

"So he knows about you and Katie then."

"Sort of, I told him I was going with my girlfriend and that he should come back to Bristol to meet her."

I sensed there was something more, "and?"

"and he said he was busy and probably wouldn't be able to. Said he had met someone, put mum behind him. Told me he wanted us to stay in touch, but he didn't seem that bothered."

I couldn't help but feel bad for her, this is typical Effy Stonem, two steps forwards then you get kicked three steps back. I looked at her as the sunlight flickered across her face, reflected from the shallow waves in the pool. I didn't need to say anything, I knew that she understood how I was feeling; how my heart goes out to her and her messed up family.

"Still," she said brightening slightly and flicking water at me, "I guess I've got Katie now and I think that's going ok."

I was about to ask her what she meant but she changed tack almost immediately as if sensing what I was about to do.

"It was a really good idea of ours getting them together for their birthday. Katie's been a right mopey cow since Emily left, even I was surprised at how much she missed her. She was in fucking tears when she got that note from her the other day so I _had_ to tell her our plans; she's been bouncing around ever since. She's been a pain in the arse all morning wanting to see her."

"Well from what Ems tells me you've more than made up for her absence, your very own shag palace eh, you won me an expensive meal as well you know?"

Effy smiled, another one of those genuine smiles I've only seen recently. The ones that properly touch those lovely eyes; I'm struck by how pretty she is when she smiles. Even now, with her hair sopping wet and sticking to her face she's quite stunning.

Not as stunning as Emily of course, but then who is? Still, Katie's a lucky girl.

"Yeah," she said the Cheshire cat fading slightly, "I guess I'm a bit more needy than I thought."

"Well you look in need of a drink Stonem," I said trying to change the subject, "come on I'll get the first round."

We swam over to the bar and I smiled at the pretty girl behind the counter. "Hi Rani, could I have my usual for my friend here and a diet coke with ice for me please?" She smiled back and nodded, before heading off to mix our drinks.

Eff sat herself on the submerged stool and looked at me quizzically. "You've been sat here so often they know what you drink? I thought you only got here last night."

"Not really, but Rani served me and Ems a few times last night and we have been drinking the same thing since we got here."

"Riiiight..." she said, looking on as Rani brought us our drinks. "Still not drinking though?"

"Not without Emily with me."

"Yeah, I remember," she said, picking up her drink and sniffing at it suspiciously. I grabbed my coke and held it out.

"Cheers Eff, to birthday girls and Goa."

"To friendship."

"Yeah to that as well."

We sat in the water and sipped at our drinks, Effy raising an eyebrow at me with a smile on her lips.

"What?"

"Tacky Naomi; very, very tacky."

I screwed up my face at her, not having a clue what she was on about. She tapped her glass with an immaculately painted fingernail, Katie's influence on her more than obvious.

"a sex on the beach...tacky."

"Well it was Ems' idea and they're nice, kind of. Told you, she's been drinking nothing else since we got here."

She shook her head at me, "What?" I exclaimed, "Ems likes it."

Effy just fixed me with her piercing blue eyes and cocked her head. "What, Emily likes sex on the beach, or the drink?"

So she's trying to embarrass me a little, _'oh no you don't Elizabeth Stonem, not this time.'_

"Both actually," I replied confidently; trying not to laugh at her serious face. "You should try it."

"I have, I'm not sure I like it."

"What sex on the beach?"

"No, this drink."

I can't hold it in any longer, I've been desperately trying to keep a straight face and part of me thinks that Ef's been doing the same thing, she's just better at it than me. I quickly took a sip of my drink but ended up snorting it as the laughter overtook me feeling the burn as the syrup hit my sinuses on, unfortunately, it's only way out.

"Jesus Naomi, half way around the world and you're still a messy drinker," she said handing me a napkin from the bar and laughing at me.

"Screw you Stonem, did you really fly four thousand miles to take the piss out of me?"

"Not really, I flew four thousand miles so I could try sex on the beach."

"You don't mean the drink do you?"

"Not in the slightest."

"Thanks for that image Eff."

"Paybacks a bitch isn't it Naomi?"

I guess it is. This is really nice though in the surprisingly short time we've been apart I've missed Effy. Actually that's not true, I haven't missed her because I've been completely wrapped up in a little red haired bundle of joy, but now we're together I realise how much I've missed just sitting, talking and taking the piss.

She did a lot of that with me after the rooftop incident, either sat at the side of my bed, or sat on the sofa as I mooned over Emily being at work. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of people that I've ever felt close to, that I would not only be able to talk to, but be comfortable with them teasing me the way she does; I could count them on one hand and have fingers left over actually. I know Effy thinks it's sad that that is the way I've been, I think she sees it as a personal challenge to change that.

"Katie did a good job of faking being angry earlier."

Effy's eyes narrowed, "I may never forgive you for that Campbell," she said taking a sip of her drink and wincing. "She wasn't faking. It's going to take me ages to convince her you actually were lying."

I blinked, that's all I could actually do, just blink. I'm actually shocked, all knowing Effy Stonem has been played. Honestly I think I should pick my jaw up from the floor of the pool and put it back in place. I looked closely at her to make sure she's not fucking with me, but saw nothing but seriousness in her eyes.

"Oh my god, she's totally got you hasn't she?" I said chuckling at her, "Jesus Eff even Emily knew she was taking the piss, it was just another one of her fake tantrums."

Effy frowned at me then turned away, waving at Rani she pushed her mostly finished drink towards me and ordered herself a gin and tonic. When finally the drink arrived she took a long sip before looking back at me appraisingly.

"I don't think so Naomi, I think you annoyed her, and on her birthday as well, that's not nice."

I thought about the toxic twin, and everything Emily had told me about her, about her little games, before deciding to share it with my friend.

"Let me guess, she got all pissy with you and you had to do a lot of grovelling and make a lot of promises to her before she forgave you, then it was all back to sweetness and light."

She frowned at me and I knew I'd scored.

"You've been played Effy, 'Fitched' as Emily puts it. I'm very disappointed in you, I thought you had Katiekins pegged."

"I have, but it's her birthday Naomi, I've got to let her get away with a few things;" she replied, totally dead faced but with a twinkle in her eye that told a million stories.

"You sly dog," I told her, "you're playing _me_ now you cow...I'll fucking get you back for that Stonem."

She grinned at me and winked, "You'll have to get up early Campbell, in fact, I'd recommend not going to sleep at all."

"I don't plan to mate, sleep's hard to come by with Emily around," I replied winking back at her; causing _her_ to snort her drink this time.

"Bitch."

"Learned from the best."

"You did," she said downing the rest of her drink and slipping off the stool and swimming for the side. "Anyway, Katie likes fighting with me, she'll use any excuse to pick a fake argument; I let her get away with it because the making up afterwards is so much fun. I'd recommend it to you, but frankly the last thing you and Emily need to do is fight. Plus, you don't exactly need an excuse do you?"

She's absolutely right, I have to agree; we've only really ever done make-up sex once, and that didn't exactly end well. I suppose that me threatening to leave for Spain wasn't exactly fighting, her calling out 'I'll miss you' and me slamming her up against lockers couldn't really be called arguing.

"I have something for you anyway." she called out as she climbed out of the pool

I necked the rest of my drink and followed her out of the pool and over to the sun loungers where we had dumped our stuff. Effy pulled a pair of sunglasses out of a pocket of the small trolley bag that she had been towing and lay back on the blue fabric, obviously intent on getting some tan into her pasty white skin.

"It's in the front pocket of my bag," she said as I walked over and sat down next to her, "letter from Gina. She asked us to bring it with us to give to you."

It's almost embarrassing how fast I went for that bag, Effy pretended not to notice laying back, to all intents and purposes oblivious to the world. Hurriedly I found the folded envelope with my name scribbled on the front and peeled it open carefully.

o+o+o

_Emily_

_"Katie...but...but...you're supposed to be in Vegas!"_

"Yeah well, obviously I'm not am I junior?"

I'm still fucking shocked. I'd expected to find my blonde haired lover in the hot tub waiting for me, longed for it in fact, looking forward to slipping into her embrace and soaking away in that bubbling hot water. Instead I find myself facing the reflection that I've known all my life. The one that's similar, the one that's not quite me.

"How did you get here?"

"Flew, duh!" I looked at her blankly, 'o_f course she flew here Emily. How else would you get to India, well unless you crossed Europe and Asia and that would be a long trip and probably dangerous, you'd have to take a train or something. Unless you took a boat, that would work, but would probably be a longer trip, you'd have to travel around Africa, or use that canal thing or whatever, it's probably be much slower as well.' _I could almost feel what was left of my working brain seep through my other ear to join the puddle on the floor, fortunately Katie interrupted my minds random jibbering in her own unique way.

"Well, are you just going to stand there like a twat?" She held out her arms, "Come here and give me a hug you daft cow."

It was as if a spell had been broken, I suddenly felt that I had control of my body again and I practically jumped into the hot tub and into my sisters waiting arms.

"Happy Birthday Emsy." She said wrapping me up.

"Happy Birthday Kay," I replied.

We hugged each other for ages, neither one of us wanting to let go. I had tears running down my cheeks again and I knew, without having to look, that big, butch Katie was doing the same.

"Fucking missed you Kay."

"Yeah, you told me."

I leaned back at that, my brain starting to reform inside my skull. I looked at her, my reflection as she'd been for so many years; everywhere I had looked throughout my childhood I saw this version of myself and for the first time in ages I was genuinely pleased to see her.

"You lied to me Katie," I told her, half amused half accusatory.

"Yeah well, paybacks a bitch isn't it Emsy."

I frowned, "since when have I lied to you?"

"Well let's think shall we? Oh yes, what about the whole, 'I'm not gay Katie' business? The 'I don't like Naomi' business...oh and you can toss in the whole 'I didn't kiss Naomi' business as well."

I shoved her playfully. "That doesn't count."

"Oh really?"

"Yes really, and I never said I didn't kiss Naomi, I only didn't say that I had, there's a difference."

_'Yeah there is, isn't there; and it's one I'll always regret, probably forever.'_

Deciding it was time for a change of tack and a change of subject, I went back to my original thoughts.

"So come on Katie, how the fuck did you get here?"

"You think I'd miss our eighteenth birthday?"

"Well given that it's four thousand miles, eleven hours on a plane and God knows how much money to get here Katie, yes! That's exactly what I thought."

"Well Effy thought differently, apparently Naomi did too, it seems they've been cooking this up since you two got back together. Right pair of secretive little bitches they are, they've had everything planned out by the looks of things. I thought they'd be here by now, Eff said she wanted to give us a bit of time alone, but this is ridiculous."

"Effy's here too?" I asked, reeling from yet another shock.

"Well duh, who do you think I came here with, Cook?"

I guess I hadn't even considered it, I was just so surprised to see my sister here with me, in the flesh.

"So where's Effy now?" I asked suddenly curious.

"Dunno, probably with Campbell somewhere. They mentioned something about the pool and a drink when they sent me down here. Though technically I'm Naomi fucking Campbell at the moment as you well know."

I blinked at her, "My birthday present?" she said cagily. "Oh bollocks I forgot, she wouldn't have told you would she? 'Cause, like, me being here was a big secret wasn't it?"

I shook my head and waited for her explanation not having a clue what she was on about.

"She gave me this ticket to come down here and get a treatment, told me it was my birthday present from the two of you. The note said I had to pretend to be her because it's guests only."

So that's what she meant, Nai's managed to do it again; covered all the bases, thought about all the angles and managed to keep me in the dark...again. She is _far_ too good at doing that I've decided; but as long as it's for good things like this I'm prepared to let it slide.

I am going to have to work on the whole, 'knowing when she's keeping secrets thing' though.

Katie and I chatted for a few minutes, lounging back and allowing the bubbles to flow over us. She told me all about the flat, and her and Effy and how they'd been doing as a couple, and how she'd been told about Effy's birthday surprise.

"Came out of the blue," she said happily, "one minute I'm crying because I got your letter and spent most of the evening re-reading it, the next thing she's telling me that she'd come up with this grand plan with Naomi and that she had tickets for us to come and visit you for a few days."

"Only a few days Kay?" I asked, a bit disappointed.

"Yeah, well we couldn't afford to make it too long so we're here for a week. We're staying in a little hotel about ten minutes drive from here. All inclusive, it's nice actually."

"Don't eat the fish curry though sis!" I replied, suddenly realising where it was they would be staying.

"Wouldn't dream of it Ems, ugh!"

"So when are you going back?"

"Couple of days after you leave here, you said something about training it up to the Taj Mahal or something so Effy thought it would be nice if we had a couple of days alone together before heading home."

"It sounds like she's thought it all through Kay, you're pretty lucky you know?"

"I know Emsy, I am lucky to have her; though by the looks of things blondie has pipped her at the post in the present stakes. This place is awesome, I could have stayed in that spa all week."

"Don't, I think I blew a fortune in there, I got a manicure and pedicure as well as all the stuff Naoms booked for me."

Katie looked across at me in mock horror. "You had a manicure and you're sitting in a hot tub, are you stupid?"

"Yeah, probably, but I don't care; we're having dinner together tonight in the posh restaurant and I want to look my best for her."

"Emily she started dating you when you dressed like a tramp..._she_ dresses like a tramp. I mean seriously you guys were made for one another and a manicure isn't going to help babe; thank fuck Eff and I are here to raise the standards."

"You?"

"Yeah me, I think you'll find it's a table for four that blondies booked; better fucking had be anyway I brought some of your stuff over with us so you could at least dress smart."

"My stuff?"

"Well who else's fucking stuff Emily, James'? Of course your stuff; do you think I'd sit next to you and Naomi in a posh restaurant for our birthday meal and let you wear shorts and a t-shirt. Effy's brought some bits for Naomi as well so she won't embarrass us either"

I relaxed back into the water, allowing my brain the chance to reassemble all the facts that it had just been given. Naomi and Effy planned all this as a big surprise for the two of us, Naomi had arranged a spa session for Katie here as a birthday treat, Naomi has organised our evening meal as a foursome so I could spend it with my sister and Effy and Katie have brought some clothes along so we can all dress up for it. I really can't believe it, all of this plus the hotel and the jewellery; well the levels of duplicity stagger me. In a good way that is.

"I wonder where Effy is though," Katie remarked pulling me from my contemplation of how lucky we both were to have people that loved us in our lives "she did say she'd come along and join us when we were done."

"Yeah, Naoms said the same thing. I guess they don't know how long we'd take."

"I suppose."

"It's good to have you here sis, "I said splashing her as I dragged her into a Fitch hug; realising that despite everything I'd not told her that simple fact.

"It's good to be here."

We were pulled out of our hug by the sound of a door closing and a voice echoing around the tiled room.

"Wow, cool...a twin thing!"

o+o+o

_Naomi_

I started to read mums letter at the pool, but found the noise from the blokes playing volleyball in the water annoying; and, leaving Effy to sunbathe, strolled round to the garden side of the hotel and sat on one of the loungers to enjoy the relative peace and tranquillity I found there.

It wasn't a long letter, but then mum never has been one for writing, preferring to sit you down and talk, or to shout across a protest line. In fact the longest thing I'd ever seen her write was a petition and even then I'd had to correct it. She's not stupid my mum, anything but; she's just a little bit flighty. She gets bored and distracted very easily, it was a great annoyance to me growing up; I guess I'm just used to it now. Still despite its lack of length it _is_ from my mum, so I wanted to read it properly; God knows I never really listened to anything she said to me until recently.

I settled back on a shady lounger and read.

_'Hi love greetings from Brizzle,_

_Well you haven't rung, you haven't written, I'm beginning to think that you've forgotten we exist back here. Kieran and I are very disappointed in you Naomi...we were at least expecting a postcard._

_Kidding!_

_I'm hoping that the fact that you haven't replied to my email and you haven't sent me a postcard is that you and my other 'daughter' are off enjoying yourselves somewhere and have been far too busy to think about your poor old mum, stuck here with Mr Grumpy and wondering what to do with her life._

_That is what it is isn't it love? You will write and tell me? You could give the message to Elizabeth or Katherine, I'm sure they'll bring it back for me. You're lucky to have friends like that._

_Anyway, thought you should know that I've made Kieran sell his old car and buy a new one. He's got a job teaching again, which as you can imagine is making him a miserable fucking shit at the moment. I've got a job working at the Bristol Advisory Centre, apparently my abundant experience and considerable life skills make me an ideal counsellor._

_To be honest I think they were desperate but a job's a job and now that we're both working I've made the bugger get rid of that shit heap. _

_You might want to tell Emily that dear, when we took you home after your accident I don't think she was very impressed with the old Lada, she more or less threatened to kill him last time she was in it. Not that you'd remember, I think you were pretty much out of it, you might want to ask Emily what you were doing though, I'm sure that conversation will pass away a few hours while you're travelling._

_Anyway, the old car is gone and it's replaced with a new one, sort of. It's nothing special, an old Ford Fiesta, but the doors open without kicking, you don't have to jump start it and I don't have to worry about getting a spring in my arse when I'm sitting in the passenger seat, which is a relief I can tell you. I'm even thinking about taking driving lessons, that'd be fun wouldn't it dear? Me on the roads in charge of a car. Though admittedly I am feeling much better after cycling to work on your old bike, I think I've caught the whole keep fit bug, riding makes me feel young again._

_Other than that there's not much more to say, Kieran and I are going to drive to Ireland when half term comes around, so we'll be out of touch for a couple of weeks if you do try to ring; so if you get into trouble with the law out there you'll have to ring Elizabeth, (I wouldn't ring Katherine if I were you, I think she might just leave you there for old times' sake, she really is entertaining when you get her talking about you). Anyway, I digress, Ireland - Kieran's promised me a tour of his old neighbourhood and plans to introduce me to his family. I only hope they're nicer than he is sometimes, did I mention he's a miserable shit at the moment?_

_Do write and tell me you're ok love, I want to hear all about you and Emily and how you're getting on, oh and don't forget to tell me if the birthday surprises went down well. Elizabeth told me all about them, they sound fabulous. Emily's a very lucky woman, and I'm a very lucky mother to have Emily change you so dramatically. A couple of years ago you'd have killed people at the mention of the word birthday, now look at you - organising all this for her._

_She's done you the world of good love, you remember that._

_Right I'd better sign off because Mr Grumpy is cooking tea and I'm starving... hope you're enjoying yourself, pass on my love and a big Happy Birthday to Emily from me and Mr Grumpy._

_Take care and write soon_

_love_

_Mum.'_

I read and reread the letter in the shady silence of the hotels garden, cooled nicely by the hint of a breeze brushing past my face. It doesn't seem that long ago that I finally came to terms with my mother, when she gave me some good advice and sent me on my way. It seems only the blink of an eye ago that I realised how much I actually missed her when she was off on her own tour of the world.

Now it's me out here, facing the world with only one person to keep me company and no matter how much I miss her, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Resolving myself to giving her a call tomorrow or the day after; certainly before we leave; I wandered back around the hotel to where I'd left Effy by the pool. True to form she was surrounded by some of the male guests of the hotel; and, true to form again, she was ignoring them with practiced ease.

"Darling, all I want to know is your name," one particularly greasy bloke was asking her in a vaguely Germanic accent; squatting by the side of her lounger as she stared into the sky through her sunglasses.

I bundled him over as I strode past. "Why don't you fuck off now loser before I get security," I told him as he picked himself up. "In fact, even better, why don't you fuck off before I go and get my friends girlfriend out of the gym and tell her you've been sleazing around. I'm sure a black eye would go well with your burnt skin. Twat."

He went to say something but I took off my wayfarers and stared him down; crumbling under the Campbell glare he scuttled off to the bar where his 'friends' were laughing at him.

"You didn't need to do that you know." Eff said as I slipped onto the lounger where I had dumped my clothes. "I had the situation under control."

"You were just lying there ignoring him Eff." I said in reply, lying back and trying to act as cool as she was.

"Exactly."

We lay there lapping up the sun until eventually she rolled over and pulled her sunglasses off her face to look at me.

"Naomi, are you happy?" she said as I turned my head to look at her.

"Ecstatic, why?"

"Because I'm worried."

I sat up and took off my own glasses to look at her, "What about me and Emily?" I asked, wondering what she meant. She just shook her head sadly.

"What the fuck are you worried about then?" I asked, "It can't be about you, you've got somewhere nice to live, you're starting Uni in a week or so and you've got Katie. What's the problem?"

"Katie's the problem," she said flatly. "Sort of."

I felt my stomach tighten at the thought of what was to come, I crossed my fingers that it was nothing serious and braced myself to do the thing that friends do, the very thing I'm not used to doing, that I'm not at all good at.

"What about her?" I forced myself to ask, knowing that's what a friend would do.

"Sometimes I worry that it's not real."

.

.

.

**A/N -** For those of you who guessed, well done...of course they were coming to Goa (rolls eyes). Ooh, banter and a hint of angst...yeah I know how, how cliché (-:

Sorry to leave it there, but I've got CP to update and a Halloween fic to write, (maybe) and a work diary that looks like the whips will be out to get things done by the end of November; so I'm not sure when the next chapter will get its final drafting, you can all wait a couple of weeks can't you, three at the most...


	8. Because I've Got You

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer –** I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent. Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame)

**Authors Note **– Hellooooooooo...I'm back (-:

Sorry for those of you that were confused by last week's trickery, I was, and am playing a little with timelines to get the alternative viewpoints to work...hope it's clear enough what's happening.

Oh and HardestHearts - I've written nearly half a million words on here since the end of March this year...yeah I think that qualifies as being crazy (-:

Anyways, it's Saturday and Harry Potter 6 is on so I'm off...enjoy!

**Chapter 8 – Because I've Got You.**

_Naomi_

_"Sometimes I worry that it's not real."_

I looked at her dumbfounded, "What the _hell_ does that mean Eff?"

_'Please don't tell me she's come all the way to India to go mental again.'_

Her ice blue eyes stared back at me, totally focussed, totally there, no sign of the distance that had once marked her. She took a deep breath before speaking again.

"I wonder if what we have is real, you know? Me and Katie, it's all happened so fast and there's been so much going on I just worry that it's not real between us; that it's all just some great big fantasy she's constructed to give herself something to hold onto after Freddie."

I thought about that for a second and then decided to do the right thing, instead of running I faced her problem head on, like a friend.

"She's constructed or you've constructed?"

She held my gaze for two or three seconds before rolling back to face the sky again, pulling her sunglasses down to cover her eyes, bulling down her shutters, keeping me out.

"Come on Effy, don't do this. I'm your friend remember, you can talk to me."

"You love her don't you Naomi, I mean really love her."

"Of course I do," I replied assuming she meant Ems, "with all my heart, why?"

"How do you know?"

"I just do, I always have."

Effy rolled over again, this time not removing her sunglasses when she looked across at me.

"I know that Naomi, but _how_ do you know?"

I thought about it for a few seconds, thought about probably one of the most difficult questions I'd ever been asked. Not even Emily had asked me this, instead just accepting what I told her on face value or on some deeper level that I couldn't comprehend. Fuck GCSE's and A Levels they were easy stuff compared to this. I'd rather have performed microsurgery with a Leatherman tool, than answer her question.

"I just do," I offered weakly, only to see her roll over again, lying on her back and ignoring me.

"Look Effy, if you're asking me how would you know if you're in love with Katie then only you can answer that. I can't help you, all I can tell you is how I feel about Emily and I'm shit at that, I'm shit at dealing with feelings ok?"

"Emily says you're actually very good with feelings Naomi; look it's not a problem ok, forget I said anything."

I stood up from my lounger and slid onto hers, shoving her ungraciously with my hips as I sat down to make her move over.

"I won't do that Effy, you've been there for me; now let me return the favour. What's the matter?"

"I had a lot of time to think on the plane, Katie was asleep and I, well I got to wondering if this is real; for either of us. Are we just clinging onto each other because of what happened, did we get together because we wanted to, or because we're both just fucked up over Freddie."

"Does it matter?" I asked.

"Of course it matters Naomi, I loved Freddie and he loved me back. We were fucking doomed from the start but I loved him you know? I think I love Katie, I'm sure I love her; but it's not the same. I don't love her in the same way and that scares me."

"So..." I said trying to get a handle on where this might be going, "You're scared that you love Katie in a different way to Freddie and because of that it might not be real, is that the crux of it Eff?"

She shook her head at me and continued the silent treatment, I sighed and tried to put my thoughts into a coherent sentence.

"Ok, this is how I know, ok? Don't blame me if it doesn't make sense. I know because I can feel my pulse start to race whenever she walks into a room I'm in, she doesn't even have to look at me to make it happen; sometimes I don't have to look at her, somehow I just know.

Most of the time I only have to think about her for my pulse to start pounding. Whenever we're apart I feel like there's a big part of me that's not around. The first time we fell apart, before we really got together...you weren't around then Eff, it was when you went off with Cook," I interjected, trying to skirt around the whole 'hit Katie with a rock' debacle.

"…Well, it felt as if a bit of me had died, I went round to her house to see her and met Jenna, she told me to fuck off and die and I ran away. Later on that day I sat in my AS exam and I couldn't concentrate, couldn't stop thinking about everything, I knew I had to talk to her, or better still see her. I just sat there and thought about Emily, I couldn't even bring myself to write my name on the top of the paper I was that messed up.

When she stood up in front of everyone at the ball I felt like my head would just explode because she wanted me. I can barely walk in heels Eff, you've seen me try, but I could have danced out of that room when she took my hand and led me away.

I'm a nerd, a bitch, a fucking shit to absolutely everyone around me and I'm a total loser; but whenever she's with me I feel like the most special person on the planet. It's took me a while to get used to it, took me a while to realise that it's ok to feel like that; that it's normal you know?"

"I'm not normal though, never have been."

I placed my hand onto her thigh and squeezed gently. "You're the most normal person I've ever known Eff, you're the most normal person anyone could know. You see through all the bullshit mate, you knew all about me, and Emily and Katie you even understood Cook. You just need to turn that back in on yourself."

She took off her sunglasses and looked at me, "you think I'm talking shit then?"

"Probably mate. Look, you told me once that Katie made you happy; what else do you need?"

"But if it's not real Naomi, then it will all go away."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because, it always does."

We fell into a deeply awkward silence, I don't know what was going through Effy's head at that moment but I know what was going through mine. I understood what she was saying, probably better than anyone she knew, probably why she was saying it to me.

"Eff," I started, "How do you feel about Katie?"

She slipped the glasses from her eyes once more and looked at me, sorrow and doubt swimming in the blue.

"I think I love her," she said. I stared at her and waited for her real answer, the one I knew was in there.

"I know I love her."

"I know that Effy, but _how_ do you know?" I turned her words back on her and smiled as she frowned at me. "Come on, seriously Effy, how do you know that?"

"She makes me feel safe, makes me feel like no-one and nothing can hurt me. She keeps the voices away."

"Is that it?"

"No, she makes me feel happy, even when she's being a bitch she makes me feel important. I'm just afraid that she doesn't feel the same way, she's like Emily, she wears her heart on her sleeve, but she's fickle Naomi; you know her reputation."

"So you think you'll be another in a long line of Katie Fitch conquests?" She nodded in reply. "How many of them has she moved in with Eff?"

"That's the point isn't it," she said, her eyes flashing. "Isn't it all a bit convenient? Don't you think that it's all a bit quick?"

"Effy," I said, standing up and dragging her to her feet. " I think you think too much, as much as Katie and I have absolutely nothing in common, apart from Emily and you, I'm pretty sure you're worrying over nothing."

"What makes you think that?" she asked as I dragged her over to the dry bar and ordered two drinks, sitting myself down on the obligatory stools, ignoring the comments from the greasy tossers nearby.

"What makes me know that Eff is that she looks at you in exactly the same way you look at her; I may not be very fucking intuitive Eff, but even I can see that."

"How would you know Naomi? It wasn't long after we got together that you and Emily left."

"Yeah, and?" I asked seriously, wondering why she was putting up so many objections to the blatantly obvious. "Like that makes a difference; anyway I was around for long enough, _after_ I found out, to make detailed notes on the pair of you, you know?

But if you doubt anything about Katie Eff, you'll need to talk to her about it won't you?"

Effy shrugged and took a big hit from her drink, looking thoroughly unimpressed at my attempts to help her. Desperately I hunted through my mind for something else to use; fortunately something or someone popped up to help me, as she always does.

"If you're too scared to do that then talk to Emily first, she'll give you chapter and verse on how happy Katie is, she can give you a whole list of changes that Katie's undergone since you and her hooked up. I'll do the same for you...fucks sake would we even be having this conversation if you hadn't changed in some way? When have you ever shared anything about yourself to anyone? Let alone a fucked up mess like me."

She shrugged again and I could feel my blood starting to boil, part of me wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her. I made a note to apologise to Emily at some point. If I had been anything like Effy is being she really should have free reign to slap me stupid.

They all should in fact, Effy as well.

I took a quick sip of my drink, to give my head chance to calm down my body, before replying to her. When I did I chose my words carefully; or at least the ones in my head were carefully chosen, the ones I said were perhaps a little less circumspect on reflection.

"You're being very annoying today Effy, what the fuck has happened? Half an hour ago it was sweetness and light and all lovey-dovey. Now you're a fucking mess, what's going on?"

"_I don't know_," she snapped, scaring the shit out of me for a second, "I don't fucking know. Perhaps I'm just being a twat, perhaps I am just thinking too much. I don't want to lose her Naomi and I can't decide is that's really because I love her, or because I don't feel crazy when she's around me. Do I really love her or do I like not being a nutter?"

So there we have it, _'fucking finally!'_ I decided not to pussyfoot around and go for the blunt option, My usual preferred method of dealing with idiots.

"This has got _nothing_ to do with Katie Eff, this is all you. Answer me this, do you think she loves you?"

I got another shrug, followed quickly by a nod.

"Do you think you love her?"

This time a straight nod. "Well then, you've answered your own bloody question haven't you? So shut the fuck up, stop thinking about it, and get that drink down you."

She looked up at me, her blue eyes seeming a bit clearer, a hint of happiness hiding behind the clouds.

"It's no fun drinking alone."

"No, I know; that's why I don't do it anymore."

"You're not very good at this whole help and advice thing are you Naomi? Tell me why I came to you?"

She's right, I'm not, but I do have an answer.

"Not really, but then you knew that before you started talking to me; besides," I said nudging her with my elbow, "you must think my advice is worth _something_ otherwise you wouldn't have flown four thousand miles to get it."

That got me a smile,_ 'fucking hell progress at last'_

"Why do you like me Naomi?"

"I could ask you the same thing Elizabeth."

"I asked first."

_'Bloody kid.'_ I've got a sudden flashback to a damp night and a queue outside a nightclub, the one where she cut me apart like a surgeon and we both acted like children pretending to be adults.

"Yeah you did, I don't know Eff, I guess I just do. Perhaps it's because were actually quite similar. Perhaps it's because you were always there for me, for me _and_ Emily really. I thought you were fucking creepy at first, always appearing, always so fucking intense. But you never really wavered did you, even when you were in that hospital you were still there for me when I needed you. You never turned me away Eff, but you never clung on either...that's pretty big for me and I respected you a lot for it, might not have shown it but I did, still do."

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely, I don't have many friends Eff, but I'm proud to count you as one of them."

I really mean that as well, _really_ mean it.

"I'll give you a piece of advice I got earlier today Eff. It was given to me by a very, _very_ wise little redhead. She told me to 'stop thinking, start feeling and just _be_ ok?' I think it's as apt for you as it is for me. Stop thinking about whether you and Katie are real and start feeling it; because as much as it pains me to admit it mate, you two do work really well together."

"We do."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement; and for the first time it had a shot of conviction behind it.

"Yeah, you do; and for the record I'm fucking positive she loves you ok? Now are you going to tell me the real reason behind this little bout of paranoia?"

"I don't think so Naomi, not today anyway. I think I need to talk to Katie first and I'm not doing it on her birthday. I'll do it tomorrow, or the next day, or when you've moved on and we're alone."

That seems fair enough to me, somewhere in the back of my skull I'm sure she's taking advice that she once gave to me, to talk things through with Emily and not bottle it all up.

"Are you ok though Eff? Are you and Katie going to be ok?"

"I think so Naomi, we'll be fine once we talk. I'm just dealing with a few things at the moment and I kind of feel it when she's not around. I'm sorry to have burdened you with in on your holiday."

"Fuck off Eff, you haven't burdened me with anything," I told her passionately and from the heart, "like I said, you've always been there for me and I'm happy to try and help any time you need it, wherever I am. Though really I'm not sure I'm any good at this stuff."

"You're better than you know Naomi, you do and say the right things without thinking about it. I feel better after talking to you."

_'What I do, Effy dear, is repeat the things that people have said to me in the past; and I've had plenty of experiences to learn from, haven't I?'_

"Do me a favour though Eff," I said, finally finding something of my own to add to the advice pile. "If you find you can't say whatever it is you need to say to her, write it down. If Katie is anything like Emily she'll understand, more than understand in fact."

She eyed me up, as if seeing me for the first time a faint smile hovering on her lips. "The student becomes the teacher then Naomi?" She said, her confident smirk finally breaking through.

"Not really, all I've done is repeated some good advice that people have given me Eff, and added one bit of my own." I winked back at her and held out my glass of coke. Eff clinked her glass with me and we both dramatically took a sip before laughing out loud and falling into a hug.

"Love you Eff," I told her for, I think, the second time ever. To my surprise she kissed me on the cheek.

"Fucking love you as well Naomi Campbell, you're not as dumb as you act."

My response was drowned out by a lewd cheer from the idiots that were hanging around the bar. Just goes to prove that just because you have the money to stay here doesn't mean you have any class.

"Go on girls, perhaps you can go and get her girlfriend from the gym and put a real show on for us."

It was that fucking slimy little greaseball again; Effy just chuckled at him and turned back to the bar. I however was having none of it. I climbed off my stool and walked over to where he was sitting, leering at me as he poured himself a drink from a pitcher.

"Brave with all your friends around aren't you? "I asked him, adding, "prick," for good measure.

He looked at his friends who seemed intent to egg him on. "Did you come over for a reason little girl, perhaps to tell me your friends name, or yours perhaps? Perhaps you want a threesome yes?"

I stole a page from Emily's book of tricks and picked up his pitcher of beer and poured it solidly over his head. He looked dumbfounded for a moment before roaring in disapproval.

"Listen dickhead," I shouted just loud enough that the staff could hear me, "I didn't pay a fortune to spend my holiday here to be jeered at and sexually harassed by a bunch of drunken idiots, so either fuck off or I'll start making complaints."

I saw one of the hotels management team walking over towards me and decided to leave it there. As I turned away, however, the greaseball grabbed me roughly by the arm.

"You will apologise for doing that now." He said angrily, spinning me around. It was like I was moving on instinct, I have no major recollection of bringing my knee up, just the feeling of impact and the howl of pain as he dropped to his knees.

"Don't _ever_ touch me again and stay the _hell_ away from me and my friends, _tosser_."

I walked back towards Effy who was grinning widely at me.

"You enjoyed that."

"You're fucking right!"

o+o+o

It took five or so minutes with the hotel staff to explain what had happened and to put across our side of the story. Fortunately Rani and some of the poolside staff had seen some of the events and were able to back up what Effy and I were saying and the incident was smoothed over in a manner that only a five star hotel can do; drinks were replaced and ego's were eased. The louts were reminded, firmly, that insulting other guests was not acceptable behaviour and I was asked politely and firmly to bring any problems to the attention of the staff and not to go around assaulting guests.

"It was clearly self defence," Effy had said standing up for me, "Naomi only hit him because he grabbed her, see look what he did."

She pointed at the fading red mark on my arm where his fingers had tightened. "We should have him charged for assault." she added making the staff look a little nervous.

In the end it didn't make much of a difference, I don't think fighting at the poolside impressed them too much no matter who was to blame, so we were all ushered away, with requests to behave more civilly in future.

As we headed back to our room Effy towed the trolley bag with her. Finally my curiosity go the better of me.

"Eff why are you dragging that bag around with you? I thought you and Katie were going back to your hotel before coming here for dinner."

"We are, Katie wanted me to bring your stuff round in something that wouldn't ruin it.

"Our Stuff?" I asked more than slightly confused, "Why have you brought some stuff for us?"

"There's no way I'm having dinner in a posh hotel with my sister and that bloody lezzer dressed like they've just crawled off a boat" she said, doing a very creditable impression of her girlfriend. She grinned at me and lifted the bag onto the bed, opening it up to reveal the blue dress Katie had bought Emily for our big night out weeks ago.

"Good choice," I approved with a smile, "If Ems doesn't thank you I certainly will."

"Yeah, we thought you'd like it. Katie and I had a good laugh over how much your eyes popped out when she wore it last. Katie thought you seemed somewhat obsessed with the laces on the back."

"Hmm...thanks for that _mate_," I said to her pulling a face and conjuring up a memory that needed to be exorcised.

"Do you know that was when it all started to go wrong? Where I came up with that whole messed up 'you and Emily' thing."

Effy picked up Ems' dress and hung it up in our wardrobe, waiting for me to carry on.

"I heard you say 'wow' when she walked in, made me jealous you know? That you'd be looking at Emily like that."

"What makes you think I noticed Emily Naomi?" she replied, flopping down on the bed and lying back, using words that for some reason I found vaguely familiar.

"Well I thought…"

"Katie, Naomi, I was wowing at Katie. To be honest I didn't notice Emily until later."

I flopped back onto the bed next to her, our heads nearly touching, and thought about what she'd said. "So you never even noticed my girl then Eff?"

"Not really, I only really noticed Katie, she'd scrubbed up really well for that evening."

"Were you two, you know, together at that point?"

"No, not really…no."

I tried to drag my mind back to that night, tried to think about anything other than me just staring at Emily in that dress, her hair freshly dyed and her make up just perfect. I tried to think about Effy and Katie and how they'd acted, it wasn't until I concentrated that everything came clear.

"You so were you know!"

"What?"

"Together, you might not have known it Eff, but you two were _totally_ together at that point. You were as thick as thieves that night. God, how did I miss that? I'm a total fucking twat, there I was stupidly fucking jealous of all the attention Emily was getting, sparked off by what I _thought_ you meant; and there you were practically sitting on Katie's lap in the quiet room in that fucking club. Why the fuck didn't I spot that?"

I can't believe the image my brain is giving me, there they were sat together drinking, from the same bottle for fucks sake, unbelievable. They had been practically crawling all over each other, they couldn't have been more intimate if they'd been fucking each other on the floor of the nightclub. How did I miss it? How did Emily miss it?

"We weren't together though, not properly together," she continued. "We hadn't even talked about it, that didn't happen until later. The next day in fact, sort of…it all came out and then Karen rang and everything went away for a while."

"Fucking hell, if I'd have realised that you two were a couple then none of the shit that happened afterwards might have happened."

"If none of the shit that happened afterwards had happened Naomi then Katie and I might never have got together. If you hadn't done that disappearing act then we might not have learnt how we really felt. You could almost say you were the catalyst to our relationship."

I didn't even want to think about that, not really. What was it Emily had said, it was a long time ago and four thousand miles away. We were different people, _I_ was a different person; I was trying to put the past behind me.

"I'm never going to forgive you two for fucking on my sofa though Eff."

"I'm never going to forgive you for watching us."

We shared a laugh at that bit of banter, the mood that was hovering over us slowly dissipating.

"I meant it you know," I said reaching out my hand and grabbing hers, squeezing it tightly. "You do make a good couple you and Katie, you fit together, you balance each other out."

"Like you and Emily?"

I'd never thought about it like that, not really. I'm not sure what I do for Ems, but she gives me courage. She gives me the courage to allow myself to be happy.

"Mum says she's been good for me you know? I never thought mum was that observant."

"Emily _has_ been good for you Naomi, she's stopped you being a closed off selfish bitch."

"Must be a Fitch thing then eh Ef?"

"I guess; nice to see you've not turned into a total pussy though. The way you kneed that wanker today, that was like the Naomi of old."

"Yeah well, she's still in here Eff, she's just been tucked away while the new me finds herself."

Effy squeezed my fingers. "I know what you mean."

"You feeling any better now Eff?" I asked her seriously once again. I know it might seem like I'm nagging, but I want her to be as happy as she was before we left to come here.

"Yeah, I think I was just 'doing a Campbell' you know? Having a moment? I'll be fine, just a lot going on in my head at the moment."

"Talk to one of us Eff, we're all here for you." I repeated, trying to drive home the message. "Don't make the same mistakes I did and keep it all bottled up. Remember to talk to Katie as well, promise me that Eff."

"I will, I promise," she replied, "I do love her you know."

"I know Eff," I told her, "it's bloody obvious even to me."

She nodded and squeezed my hand once more then suddenly broke the seriousness with a wild chuckle.

"You do realise Katie would fucking kill me if she knew I was lying in bed with you. Especially if she knew you were being my relationship counsellor."

"Probably," I agreed, knowing it was true. "I'd imagine that would be one hell of a row."

"I think I'll tell her tomorrow morning then, give me plenty of time to make up with her afterwards; you know not leave the bedroom until we've made up."

"Thanks for that Eff."

"Pleasure. At least you know that you don't have to see us until tea time tomorrow."

"Ugh."

o+o+o

We lay there for a bit, not needing to talk, until Effy got up again, rummaging in the bag and holding up a dark coloured dress.

"Right you, this is what I brought for you for tonight, I did try to find that little number you wore when we went clubbing, but I think you, sort of…"

"Shredded it with a kitchen knife?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

I had as well, in my little fit of rage when I'd practically destroyed our home smashing up or shredding anything that was a reminder of Emily and me.

"Katie thought it would go well next to Emily's outfit, and she's the fashion expert so I wasn't arguing. I brought you both some shoes as well, I didn't think that either of you had packed heels in your travel kit and Katie insists that hiking boots won't go with these dresses."

"Thanks Eff, you didn't have to do that you know."

"Oh I did Naomi, could you imagine what Katie would be like if I hadn't?"

"Fair comment."

I was feeling a little more at ease, Effy's little freak out over her relationship seeming to be behind us, thank fuck! I made another mental note to apologise to Emily; I really must have driven her mad.

We lounged around on the balcony for a while, having a smoke and talking about nothing in particular before Effy dropped another one of her verbal hand grenades into the conversation.

"Gina's feeling a bit neglected you know, she didn't say anything but Kieran gave me and Katie a lift to the station the other day and he mentioned it. I think she's a bit put out you haven't called or anything."

"I sent her a postcard the other day, she should have it by now." I replied, slightly defensively.

Effy took a long drag on her cigarette and stared at me, her eyes expressionless before exhaling slowly and frowning.

"She brought Katie a letter from Emily, I think she was a bit upset that you didn't write at the same time. You should call her or something, I think she misses you."

"Eff she went travelling and I barely heard from her, she knows how it is."

"Naomi she did that when she thought you were happy with Emily, before she knew how fucked up your life had become, before you tried to throw yourself off a fucking rooftop…she's worried about you. Call her ok!"

It's one of the few times I've ever heard Effy sound angry at me about something I've done, or in this case not done; the old part of me wants to tell her to fuck off, to mind her own fucking business, but the sensible person I'm _trying_ to be realises she's probably right. I took a deep draw on my own cigarette and held it for a second before exhaling.

"Ok Eff, I'll call her later, It'll give her the chance to wish her 'other daughter' happy birthday anyway."

"Good," she said suddenly looking back into the room. "Talking of Emily, what time is it. Shouldn't we be heading down to see them?"

I bolted from my chair and grabbed my favourite watch off the bedside table, I've been so careful about time over the last couple of days, to make sure that everything went to schedule. Now with Effy and Katie here and the pressure had been lifted and I'd gone back into holiday mode and forgot about time.

"Shit, Shit, _Shit!_" I chanted as I saw the time. "They'd have been out ages ago."

I headed straight for the door and stood holding it as Effy strolled towards me with an amused look on her face.

"What? Come on we need to get down there."

"Naomi, calm the fuck down, what does a few minutes matter? You know they're there, they'll be perfectly happy talking to one another, we'd just be in the way. Besides, we'd agreed to give them time together."

"Effy it's half past six, they've been out for ages."

"Naomi it's their birthday, we'll go to the bar, grab a bottle and some glasses and take them in. It'll be fine; they probably won't even have noticed that we're not there."

Feeling not in the least bit reassured by her comments we headed downstairs and popped into the hotels bar. Effy insisted on buying a large bottle of sparkling wine and we took it, and four glasses, down the corridor to the spa. Walking casually into the gym we headed over to the door to the hot tub room and struggling with the door we walked in to see the Fitch's hugging in the hot water.

"Wow, cool...a twin thing!"

They sprung apart at Effy's words as if they'd been sprayed with cold water, causing us both to chuckle.

"Well it's about time you two showed up," Katie said lounging back against the side of the tub, "We've been feeling neglected."

I ignored her and winked at Emily who smiled back happily and patted the side next to her.

"We've brought booze," Eff said to Katie; apologetically holding up the bottle of wine. I slipped past her and put the glasses down on the side of the pool; slipping out of my over clothes and into the tub next to Ems, stealing a kiss from her as I did so.

"Well that's all right then babe," Katie continued oblivious to me and her sister, her eyes fixed on Effy. "Go on then crack it open."

I couldn't help smiling at the look of absolute adoration on Katie's face and I couldn't help but glance from her to Effy, catching her eye and winking. It got me a nudge from Emily as she saw Effy look back at Katie and smile at her.

"What are you grinning at babe?" she asked pressing herself against my side as the water churned around us.

"I'll tell you later love, it's nothing urgent. How was the treatment?"

"If I told you it was fabulous it wouldn't do it justice. I seem to have spent all day saying thank you. Though you and I are going to have words about this little secret Naomi Campbell."

She gestured at her sister who was helping, or more accurately hindering, Effy with the pouring of the drinks.

"What, are you not happy they came to visit us?" I asked innocently. "I can tell them to piss off if you wanted some privacy."

"I'm delighted they're here babe, of course I am, you're just too sneaky for words, that's all. Katie told me how long you and Effy have been planning this."

"All in a good cause hun," I replied smiling, taking our drinks from Effy at a nudge.

"Yeah, I know."

We turned back to the others at the sound of Effy clearing her throat. She raised her glass for a toast.

"Happy Birthday Katie and Emily."

"Happy Birthday!"

"Happy Birthday Ems," I said slipping my arm around her as we slid back against the walls of the tub, "I love you."

I felt her melt against me at my words and she clinked her glass against mine. "Love you too Nai, thanks for everything."

"Nights not over yet hun." I said happily, delighted that I'd managed to make her happy on her birthday.

"You're right about that," she replied with a voice thick with promise.

'_Oh, my, God.'_

o+o+o

We finished our drinks in the hot tub and went our separate ways not long after finishing the drinks; Katie complaining that spending too much time in the hot water would make her "all wrinkly and unattractive." Dinner was arranged for nine o'clock that evening and Katie had dragged Effy back to their hotel saying she needed the time to make herself beautiful.

I had bit back the comment that she only had two hours to get ready; it is, after all, her birthday too.

I have to admit, that birthday aside, I'm made up that I got Ems the spa treatment. She's been bouncing around our room like a little energiser bunny, raving about the exfoliating rub and the sauna and most of all the massage. I've been forced to coo over her nails but best of all she seemed absolutely insistent that I examine her skin in close detail.

"Just feel it Naoms, it's so bloody smooth it's untrue. I feel fabulous."

I had felt it, all of it; insisting that, as my lips were the most sensitive part of my body, it was absolutely necessary that I used them as well to check the smoothness.

She was right, her skin was very smooth and it only took me three quarters of an hour to verify this; however I did mention that I would need to check again later to make sure nothing had changed, threatening to complain if her skin wasn't as smooth, as soft and as kissable later on tonight, and in the morning.

As Ems sat at the dressing table I decided that I could procrastinate no longer and broached a subject I'd been considering since I'd spoken to Effy earlier.

"Ems, would you mind if I gave mum a call?"

She stopped brushing her hair and raised an eyebrow, looking at me through the reflection in the mirror.

"Why would I mind Naoms? It's a great idea. Katie was telling me earlier how great she's been, it sounds like she's adopted the pair of them."

"Yeah well, mum's always tried to look after hopeless cases, why should those two be any different?"

She sniggered at me as I picked up the phone and called down to reception, giving them the number to transfer me to. I sat on the bed cradling the phone as I waited for them to dial the number for the house; and then waiting for ages until someone answered.

"_Hello?"_ Kieran's thick Irish accent came over the speaker making me suddenly feel homesick.

"Hi Kieran, it's Naomi, is mum there?"

"_Naomi, how are you, are you bored of that fucking place already? Yes, she's just this minute got home, hang on a second I'll get her."_

Before I could answer his question I heard him shouting for mum and within seconds her excited voice came over the phone.

"_Naomi dear how are you, what's gone wrong?"_

"I'm fine mum, and nothing has gone wrong. Effy gave me your letter and I thought I should call and say hello that's all."

"_Oh right, how's Emily?"_

"Ems is fine mum, well I think she is, she's looking pretty good at the moment anyway."

She was as well, sat brushing her hair in nothing but her underwear, she caught my look and grinned back.

"_She's with you then is she?"_

"Yeah, she's here."

"_Well put her on then love, let me say Happy Birthday."_

I climbed up of the bed and walked over to where Emily was sitting passing her the handset wordlessly, absently picking up her brush and continuing to comb that vivid red hair.

"Hi mum, how's things?...Thank you…yeah she's been pretty bloody wonderful actually…what, she never told you what she'd organised?"

Ems leaned back and looked at me, waggling her finger, "I can't believe she never told you what she'd planned mum, I'll be having words with _her_ about that."

"_She_ can't keep a secret." I protested, getting a smile from Emily.

"Mum says she would have kept that secret," she told me grinning at a comment I couldn't hear.

"Fine," I said faking a snort and retreating back to the bed as Emily, for the second time that day, regaled someone with everything I'd done for her birthday. To be truthful I don't mind in the slightest; because I get to sit back and watch her face light up as she recalls everything that I'd arranged for her. From the hotel to the presents and now the whole spa experience. It's a good feeling this, a very good feeling indeed.

It's also actually quite funny, I rang mum to talk to her and I've not managed to get a word in edgewise since she'd realised Emily was there. If I wasn't so happy to see Ems smiling and laughing about things I might even have been a little bit jealous.

"You want her back?" Ems said, getting up off the chair and walking over to me. "Here she is then, lovely to speak to you mum…thanks again…I will, speak soon mum."

She passed me the phone, smiling and playing with my hair as I pressed it to my ear.

"Oh so you want to talk to _me_ now do you?" I asked, jokingly.

"_Not really dear, from what Emily's just told me it sounds like you don't need advice from your old mum. It sounds like you're doing pretty well all on your own.'_

"Yeah I'm trying mum, sometimes it's just easy though you know?"

"_I tried to tell you that dear, It's easy when you allow yourself to care. You know you're actually quite nice when you don't pretend so much.'_

"Yeah, yeah," I said trying to avoid another lecture or even worse one of her homilies, "I'm doing my best every day."

"_you keep doing that dear and everything will be fine."_

"Congratulations on the job by the way, you _and_ Kieran; how are you finding it? You're a counsellor aren't you, that must be right up your street?"

"_I'm loving it dear, I get to be a nosey bastard, help lots of people, and I don't even have to bring them home to do so."_

"No more communal living then eh mum." I said watching as Emily got up and straightened her underwear before walking towards the bed.

"_No dear, I don't think Mr Grumpy would like that, and I don't think you'd thank me if I gave away your room again. I guess you'll need somewhere to stay when you come home from travelling and when you're not at University; you both will. If you want to that is."_

"Yeah, that'd be great mum, thanks. Is Kieran missing his car?"

I didn't hear what she said because it was at that very moment Emily decided to sit herself on my lap and run her fingers through my hair whilst staring deeply into my eyes.

"Sorry mum I missed that," I said, getting a warm chuckle from my girl and a peck on the cheek.

"_I said he's done nothing but complain about scrapping the damn thing, I think he was just annoyed because he had to pay someone to dispose of the piece of shit."_

"I'll definitely tell Ems that one mum, I think you're right, she hated that car."

"_You sound distracted dear, are you sure you want to talk to me right now."_

"I'm sure mum, we're just getting ready to go for dinner that's all." It wasn't that at all, it was the petite redhead that was currently laying a trail of kisses from my earlobe to my neck and back again, her hands wandering over my body at the same time.

"_Oh Naomi dear, you're a _terrible_ liar; you can tell Emily I can hear _everything_ she's doing and I'm not particularly surprised you're distracted. I don't want to _think_ about what her hands are doing right now."_

"MUM!" I exclaimed, flushing with embarrassment. I have no idea how she has the ability to do that to me. I think it's a parent thing, she's far too liberal, both in words and deeds; even for me, especially for me.

"_Oh behave Naomi, it's not like we're not all grown adults now; we _can_ talk about these things you know."_

"Mum fuck off yeah, stop trying to embarrass me it's not funny."

I could feel Emily chuckling against me quietly as she burrowed into my neck, nipping at my skin gently with her teeth.

"...and you can stop that as well Emily Fitch, don't you dare bite me before our meal; you know how much stick Katie will give me if you leave marks all over my neck."

Mum and Emily both laughed at that last comment and I felt a wonderful sense of family warmth as I joined in; even separated as we are.

"_Look love this call is probably costing you a fortune so I'll leave you girls to it, tell Emily to have a great birthday and send me an e-mail or something. In fact before you go put her on."_

I pulled Ems from her lip lock on my neck and pressed the phone to her ear.

"Hi mum…no I really have no idea what we should be trying on every beach in India…MUM!...yeah, thanks for that. Miss you too, love you…yes I'll put her back on."

I took the phone back from the flame faced Emily and spoke before mum got the chance to.

"You had to tell her about that didn't you mum," I said trying to hide my amusement

_"and you're trying to tell me you never discussed it with her, that post card was just a little too obvious love, even for you."_

"Ok, you got me...I may have mentioned it on the flight over."

_"What, you managed to actually speak to each other? I'm amazed. I thought you'd be too busy trying to have sex in the toilets."_

"Jesus mum, fucking hell...we flew first class, who needs toilets. Besides," I added thinking it was my turn to tease a little, "Emily's averse to shagging in toilets, I think she prefers more open spaces, like beaches and lakesides. I think it's a water thing you know?"

I winced as she nipped me on the shoulder, just a little harder than I expected, _'fuck I hope that doesn't leave a mark'_

_"Well I hope, if you were shagging on the plane dear, that the other passengers had their headphones on; neither of you are especially quiet normally.'_

"MUM!" I shouted again to the sound of her laughter.

_"Oh come now Naomi__ it's not like I couldn't hear you when you were both up in your room you know, the walls weren't that thick. There's no need to be embarrassed, I've already told Emily she's not particularly quiet, when she was trying not to wake you after the accident."_

"Yeah well, way to over-share mum you know?"

_"Oh behave dear, right; I'm definitely going now before you spend all your savings on this call and end up having to come home early and annoy the fuck out of me and Kieran by moping around the house. Promise you'll drop me a line at some stage soon yes? Love you dear."_

"I will mum, love you too, miss you; bye."

_"Bye love, say goodbye to Emily for me, speak to you soon."_

I felt a bit deflated after I put the phone down, it felt good to have spoken to mum, but the sense of separation lingered. It's took me far too long to finally get comfortable with her, took me far too long to finally grow up; and ever since we managed to find one another, neither one of us have been around to enjoy having a mother daughter relationship. Still there's always time, even with University coming there'll be time for me and mum.

"You ok babe," the muffled voice of my girl cut through my thoughts as I felt, more that heard, her words. I used the advantage of my newly freed hand to wrestle her reluctant form into a position where I could actually see her, and wrap both of my arms around her.

"Yeah, I'm fine hun."

"Missing her?"

"Yeah, but it's ok."

"Why's that babe?" she asked, voicing what was probably the most superfluous question that has ever been asked to me, or in my presence. I pulled her closer to me, loving the feel of cloth and skin as they pressed against me, loving the feel of her.

"Because I've got you, that's why."

.

.

.

**A/N -** OK so earlier than expected and I've got a chunk of the next chapter done as well, will it be back next weekend? Well I don't know, depends on how hard I find it to write 'Campfire Tales' or whatever this Halloween mess about ends up being called (unless it's cast into the recycle bin again!).

Have a good week folks.


	9. Table for Four

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer –** I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent. Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame)

**Authors Note **– Er OK, so I've been a bit busy but wanted to keep this moving along so this is what you get. Hope it's ok, it's a bit shorter than usual and contains yet another Es premise cheat (-:

**Chapter 9 - Table for Four.**

_Emily_

"Table for four? The names Campbell," Naomi said confidently to the man at the little pedestal desk in front of 'Wan Hao' the Asian food restaurant at our hotel.

"Certainly Miss Campbell, this way please."

_'The beauty of a five star hotel'_, I thought to myself, _'is that everyone treats you like fucking royalty.'_

I know that I'm right as well, because out of our little foursome there's only one person that looks in any way comfortable and that, unsurprisingly, is my sister. She looks like the queen fucking bee strutting across the floor to our table, looking pretty good in her very best outfit, with Effy on her arm.

A couple of years ago I'd have been jealous, but not anymore, now I've got someone on my arm, someone that's elegantly drawing my chair for me and sliding it in underneath me as I sit. Someone that's looking obscenely good in a simple black dress, someone that keeps looking at me as if I'm the only person in the room.

I think it's Katie's turn to be jealous.

We'd literally only just made it to the restaurant in time, pulling on shoes that we'd carried simply so we could run down the stairs to gain an extra few precious seconds. We met Katie and Effy in reception where they were trying to get the staff to ring our room.

"About time too," she'd said to me as I stood breathing slightly heavily at the desk, "we're going to be late."

"A couple of minutes won't kill us Katie," Effy said, looking amused at our breathing and raising an eyebrow, "Naomi and Emily were obviously otherwise engaged."

We had been as well, otherwise engaged that is; but not in the way they're probably thinking, well not _quite_ in the way that they're probably thinking anyway. We hadn't been screwing each other senseless, though I _do_ have plans for that later on this evening. No, we'd simply not moved from our positions on the bed since we'd finished speaking to Gina; and we'd done nothing more exciting than what Katie used to call 'making out'. I personally don't have or want a name for what we'd been doing, especially as 'making out' sounds like something a thirteen year old would do; but whatever you want to call it, it was wonderfully intense.

I don't need to have sex with Naomi to find myself totally overwhelmed and lost in her; sometimes I just need the right place, the right moment and the right mood. All of those three things had crashed together like a perfect storm and we'd spent endless, beautiful moments just lost in each other's lips and each other's arms; somehow both knowing that we needed nothing more.

Eventually though time had caught us up and we'd been forced to hurriedly dress; Naomi revealing the outfit that Katie had picked out and brought four thousand miles for me to impress a girl that I knew would be impressed if I tied my hair back and wore a vest top and shorts.

I hadn't been prepared for the look of abject lust she gave me when I turned away from the mirror to ask her how I looked.

_'Sometimes Katie, you really come through for me.'_

Effy had more than come through for Naomi as well, once again she had pulled off the simple and elegant, something I know she does so well. I think her blonde hair looks great when it's set against black outfits and this time she looks absolutely stunning.

She always looks stunning though, especially in her blue bikini.

"Emily..._Emily!_"

Katie's waving hand distracted me from my happy place where Naomi crosses sun kissed sands in that blue bikini, fresh from the sea. "Are we going to have dinner or what?"

She was turning away and heading for the restaurant before I'd had a chance to answer and with a shared grin, the three of us turned to follow her.

As we sat at the table the waiter had arrived to take our drinks order, two bottles of house white and a pitcher of iced water duly arrived and we sat and waited as our glasses were poured. I'd already decided I was going to steal this toast, I suspected that Effy or Naomi would hijack it and wish us both happy birthday. But I wanted this moment in the sun, to say what I wanted to say; and as Katie grabbed her glass and lifted it to her lips, I tapped mine with a fork, the tiny ring stopping them all in their tracks.

"Before Katie drinks an entire bottle of wine in her first sip, or before you two interrupt me I want to say a few words and I know you won't stop me because it's my birthday."

Katie had paused mid sip and at my words lowered her glass to the table and let go of it reluctantly but with the faintest hint of guilt. Effy smiled and reached her hand across the table to grasp Katie's before looking at me expectantly. I didn't need to look to know the girl at my side was looking at me and smiling, everything in my body told me that.

"I wanted to say a word of thanks, well three words of thanks actually. Firstly my thanks go to Effy for pulling off some kind of miracle and not only making my sister a nice person to know," she put her tongue out at me for that, almost proving me wrong; "but also for pulling off another miracle and bringing here her to make my birthday absolutely complete."

I tilted my glass to Eff who smiled and nodded at me. "Thanks Eff, thank you for making Katie happy."

I turned my attention on Katie then, "I guess I should thank you Kay, you've been a real cow to me over the years, you've been a real cow to me and Naomi as well, but you've also been a real sister and a real friend; to both of us, especially recently. Neither of you will ever fucking admit it but I think there's something there, underneath all that bitching that you both seem to love to do. So thanks Katie, thanks for being there for me and for Naomi; happy birthday Sis."

Finally I twisted in my chair to look across to the person next to me, the person I'm positive I want next to me for the rest of my life. It took me a couple of attempts to say something under her intense gaze, but finally I managed it.

"Naoms, just...again...thanks."

She winked at me, making me grin like an idiot; almost making it impossible to continue.

"Thanks," Katie interrupted, "is that it?"

"Shush Katie," Effy replied. I could see her squeezing Katie's hand on the table, probably expecting an explosion...Katie Fitch does not like being shushed.

"She doesn't need to add anything else Katie," Naomi said quickly, "Emily's telling me everything I need to know ok?"

Katie nodded quickly and looked away, "Go on hun, finish your toast," Nai prompted.

"I've not got much to say, I just wanted to be able to say how much I appreciate all three of you being here. I'm not really very good at toasts so I'm going to steal one from Naomi that still seems apt. Family, friends and loved ones."

For the second time in as many weeks I heard the people I was closest to repeat the toast and we clinked our glasses together and took sips of the wine.

"Nice speech," Naomi whispered, pulling her chair closer to mine and leaning close, pressing out heads practically together.

"Didn't I say that to you once?" I whispered back.

"Yeah, but this time I'm right. Happy Birthday Ems..."

"I love you," I interrupted, wanting to say it first. She just looked at me and smiled that beautiful Naomi smile; the one that lifts my heart and makes me think I can do absolutely anything.

"I know."

I glanced across at my sister who seemed to be engrossed in a whispered conversation with Eff.

"They look happy." I said taking a sip of my wine.

"Yeah they do don't they."

The hairs on the back of my neck pricked at that, I have no idea why they did but I knew something was wrong. I didn't notice it in her voice, or in her body language, didn't notice anything consciously at all but I just _knew_ there was something she wasn't telling me.

"Come on, spill Naomi what do you know?"

"I don't know what you mean Ems," she said innocently and I _knew_ she was lying.

"Naomi, I know you better than that babe, what's going on between those two that I should know about?"

She looked at me, weighing up what she should say next, "just tell me the truth Naomi," I said, probably interrupting her thoughts; hopefully making her decision for her, "don't try to hide it ok?"

"I'm not trying to hide anything hun, I was trying not to say anything on your birthday that's all. They're fine, Effy just had a paranoid moment and was "doing a Campbell" as she so politely put it. We talked, she's fine. I told her to talk to Katie about it, get her fears well and truly quashed, told her to talk to you as well if she needed further convincing. She says she'll do it tomorrow or the day after; doesn't want to spoil anything tonight. She will do it though, she promised me."

"Is she having second thoughts?" I asked really concerned as to what that could do to Katie.

"No hun, nothing like that. If anything it's the other way around, she's doubting that Katie can love her, thinks she might just be grasping on because of Freddie."

"That's stupid, Katie loves her, anyone can see that."

"Yeah," she said with a very minor hint of regret, "that's what I told her, but like she said, she was 'doing a Campbell'."

"I'll get you both matching T-Shirts babe," I told her trying to lighten the mood, "I could get them both printed with 'we're a pair of daft bastards. If found wandering alone and unsupervised, please return to the Fitch's to get our heads sorted'."

"Jesus, don't do that hun," She replied grasping my arm dramatically, "I might get dropped off at your mums; she'd have a fucking field day trying to sort my head out her way. I'd end up in an arranged marriage to James or something horrible like that."

I had to snigger at that, resulting in a glance from my sister.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Naomi replied, I was just telling Emily here what I wanted for dessert."

"Shit I've not even looked at the menu, let alone thought about dessert," Katie replied looking at the folded leather look binders on the table.

Neither have I," Naomi replied slowly looking me up and down, "but I do know what I want."

"Ew."

"I think you might have something there Naomi," Effy replied giving my sister the same kind of look Naomi had just given me. "A Fitch dessert sounds like a really good idea."

"Well I'm not sharing mine."

"It's ok, I'll order my own, I think I'll have it served with ice cream."

"Ew!"

This time it wasn't just one Fitch voice that raised that complaint. But I think we're both so happy we didn't mind the pair of them laughing at us.

o+o+o

Our waiter came back almost the second we put down our menu's and took our order. I'd teased Naomi about ordering the Fish Geang Deang for her main but she'd ignored my advice and avoided the curry, settling for the hot and sour soup and a plate of wontons that we'd elected to share after I complained that I wanted them _and_ the Hakau Prawns. I'm pretty sure she chose the Phad Kai Kaprow so I could try that as well. I'd been toying between that and the honey chilli lamb and the lamb had won.

After we'd all ordered we sat back and waited making pleasant small talk until Katie stopped half way through a description of her and Effy on a recent night out and stared at me.

"What?" I asked self consciously.

"When did you get that?" she asked pointing at the locket that I'd worn along with my earrings.

"Last night, well this morning. It's one of my presents from Naomi, I told you about them on the phone."

"Er, actually no you didn't."

"I did," I insisted; surprised to see her shaking her head.

"No Emsy you didn't, you never mentioned getting a necklace at all."

I looked to Naomi for support, "Babe, tell her; you were there."

"Sorry hun, as much as I'd love to back you up, I don't think you did. You told your dad, and mum but I don't think you mentioned it to Katie."

_'Shit'_

"You told mum and dad and not me, nice Emily."

"I thought I had told you Katie."

"You talked about the hotel and Katie talked about being in Las Vegas hun, I don't think you ever mentioned your presents."

"There's more!" Katie exclaimed, "What the fuck Campbell did you win the lottery or something?"

"No Katie I worked remember? Summer jobs, Weekend work, part time shit. I had to fund the fucking house didn't I, mum covered the bills and shit but I had to fund everything else. What I didn't spend I put in our travel kitty and some bits I siphoned off for Emily's birthday."

That seemed to silence Katie, I had given her a look and I'd spotted Effy running a thumb over her hand and tapping slightly. She took a drink and looked over at me.

"Well come on then let's have a look at what you got."

Reluctantly I shuffled my chair away from Naomi and around the side of our table to get closer to Katie. I caught a glimpse of Effy moving around towards Naomi, their heads pressed together in conversation.

"Christ Emily that's lovely," Katie said as she lifted the locket from its resting place on my chest. "Silver or gold?"

"White gold Sis, with a genuine diamond on the front."

"Nice. Cheesy engraving though."

"No it's not," I told her, somewhat affronted, "It's a lovely inscription."

"Calm down Ems, jeez, I'm only teasing. It's nice, it really is. I'm jealous."

I took the locket from out of her hands and caught Naomi's eye. "You've not seen the best bit yet Sis."

Carefully I flicked at the catch and the locket opened and I showed Katie the pictures inside. "Both my families see? Even you're in it, though I am thinking of having you removed if you keep abusing my girlfriend."

"Cheeky, she loves it. Blondie wouldn't know what to do with herself if I didn't keep her in her place!"

I frowned at her over Naomi's giggles and closed the locket carefully, allowed it to fall back onto my chest, despite its small size it's weight made a comforting thud as it bounced off my breastbone. A thud that screamed quality, a thud that Katie didn't fail to notice.

"It's really nice Emily, suits you. How come you weren't wearing it before?"

"I'm saving it for special occasions Sis, I'm definitely not going swimming in it."

"Probably a good plan Emsy, it'll probably drag you to the bottom and drown you. So come on, what else did she get you?"

I pulled back my hair, I'd worn it down this evening, not because I wanted to hide anything but because I didn't want to mess about styling and plaiting my hair; and a ponytail simply doesn't suit this dress, no matter how much Naomi complains that when I wear my hair like this it covers my best feature.

One day I'll shave the lot off, see how she likes that!

As I pulled the hair back Katie must have noticed the studs, well I _had_ taken every piece of my ear jewellery out when I got dressed, just so I could show off my earrings. She let out a low whistle and practically dragged me closer so she could get a better look.

"Ow, Jesus Katie what the fuck?"

"Nice studs Emsy, silver or white gold?"

"Platinum Sis, genuine platinum with a point three carat diamond."

"Fucking hell!"

Naomi and Effy both looked up from their conversation at her outburst, it also drew a few disapproving looks from some of the other guests."

"Katie, behave or they'll throw us out, this isn't the Burger King in bloody Bristol you know."

Kay narrowed her eyes at me, but I was rescued from any further comments by the arrival of our starters. I shuffled back around the table to my place and looked hungrily at the prawns that had been put in front of me. They smelt divine, but I wanted to wait until everyone's food had arrived before picking up my knife and fork.

"Just eat Ems, don't let them go cold all right, we don't mind." Naomi said, obviously noticing my twitching fingers. I don't need telling twice, especially as Katie has started to eat her chicken dumplings.

"Funny isn't it," Effy said conversationally to Naomi as the waiter served them their starters, "you travel halfway around the world to a country and a region famed for its own dishes and you end up eating Chinese."

"Well if it's authentic you want, you can take Katie to a little restaurant that's not far from your hotel." Naomi replied sniffing at her soup with obvious relish. "We went there after an Aussie couple recommended it to us, food was great. Better than the hotel and still cheap enough for it to be not a waste of money."

"Mmmsmffmgh mfmdsm mdsmsm mmter." Katie tried to speak through a mouthful of food.

"Kay what have I told you about manners at the table," Effy chided, sounding a lot like Jenna. "You're all grown up now, no talking with your mouth full."

"Fuck off babe," she replied after swallowing her last mouthful of starter; "I was only asking if that was the one Emsy wrote about in her letter."

Nai nodded, busy spooning her hot and sour soup into her mouth, I took advantage of this and grabbed one of the Wanton's from the plate between us, my prawns long since demolished; getting nothing more than a sly wink in response.

"So Eff," I said after I finished chewing. She's been far too quiet this evening, in fact she's been quiet since I saw her again, probably lost in the whirlwind that was mine and Katie's celebratory reunion; "has Kay been causing you any problems since you moved in together."

I spotted her eyes flick to Naomi and then back again, was it my imagination or was there a hint of nerves and accusation in that look? I picked up another wanton and bit into it as Effy met my eyes.

"Only keeping up with her immense sexual appetite, and her inability to pick clothes up off the floor Emily. Unfortunately trying to deal with the first one seems to cause more problems with the other."

Katie was looking at Effy with a weird mixture of pride and disgust, Naomi was chuckling away to herself as she tried to look busy with her soup; Effy was staring at me, her blue eyes fixed on mine, expressionless, devoid of emotion. A little bit too much like the old Effy for my liking, the one that used to play games. Well I've grown up now, I can play games too...

"I'd recommend not wearing any clothes then Eff, it's the only way I can deal with the same problems in Naomi."

Nai snorted and broke out in a coughing fit into her napkin. Effy stared across the table and then just grinned at me and raised her glass.

"Touché Emily, actually no. Katie's been brilliant to live with, apart from the picking up clothes after her business. I don't think she's learnt where the laundry basket is yet but otherwise," she finished, her hand reaching out to grab Katie's once again. "it's been pretty good actually. I'm enjoying it; believe it or not Kay's even turned out to be a half decent cook."

"Good. I hope you took our advice," she looked across at Naomi again peaking my interest once more; "the moving in card Eff?" I asked trying to remind her.

"Oh that, no I totally ignored that. It didn't mention having sex with your sister."

Katie almost spat her wine out at Effy's deadpan delivery and leaned over to slap her, admittedly gently, on the arm

"I asked you not to talk about that E," she said recovering her composure.

"Katie I've heard levels of detail I've _never_ wanted to hear about everyone you've ever dated, and all of it from your own mouth. I've still got the mental scars from a lot of them,what makes this so different?"

"Because this is Effy, that's why; we're not talking about one of those losers. I don't want to talk about her with you. I don't want to tarnish what we've got, it's special ok?"

"Ok!" I said watching as the two of them made moon eyes at each other. I caught Naomi glancing at Effy and smiling and made a note to get her to tell me all about Effy's fears tomorrow.

After that, we finished the starters in record time and sat back with freshly filled glasses to wait for the next course. My stomach was demanding more food, the intense flavours really setting off my appetite. I mean as far as I'm concerned all food is good in general, but this was seriously good stuff.

"So Naomi, come on tell me how much those earrings cost you?" Katie practically shouted over the table causing Naomi's cheeks to redden.

"No Katie, I'm not telling you, especially not with Emily here. It's not polite."

"What?" she asked incredulously, "come on Naomi, it's not as if they were a tenner from Argos and you're embarrassed. They must have set you back a small fortune."

"They weren't a tenner from Argos Katie, no; and I'm not embarrassed. I just don't think it's in very good taste to discuss how much a present I bought for my girlfriend cost, especially when she's with us, especially over dinner and especially on her birthday. Sorry Katie that's just how it is."

"But they must have set you back a grand or something, I know jewellery and they're stunning."

"Well I'm glad you like them Katie, but I don't want to discuss it."

I leaned over to Naomi and whispered across as she leant her head down to mine.

"You didn't spend a thousand pounds on these did you babe? I'd be terrified to wear them in public again if you did."

"I'm not telling you how much they cost Emily, like I said that's be tasteless."

"I'll look it up," I threatened, not really serious but curious none the less.

"That's your privilege hun, but you're not getting it out of me." She kissed me on the side of the head and sat back up.

"You're not supposed to refuse me anything on my birthday babe," I pouted, trying to tease her.

"You're not supposed to try and find out how much I spent on you."

"Can't you give me a hint, make me feel special?"

"No." she said simply, holding back a grin at my pout.

I leant my head on her shoulder looking up at her, "Aw go on babe, give me a hint."

"Emily," Effy interrupted, "if you ever get stuck on this trip, you lose all your cash and want to get home, pawn your earrings ok?"

"Effy!" Naomi exclaimed looking disgusted.

"What? I didn't tell her anything, I don't know how much they cost you; but perhaps it'll stop any more questions ."

"I wouldn't dream of pawning my earrings Effy, I'd rather get stuck somewhere than do that. As long as Nai's with me I think I'd be quite happy getting stuck and not making it home to Bristol, especially if it was here."

"Yeah, it is nice here isn't it?"

"Nice doesn't cut it Eff, I love it here, love the people, love the sights, love everything about Goa. Really love walking along that beach, especially at night, it's beautiful in the moonlight; it's like you could be on a different planet."

"You want to go for a walk later Ems?" Naomi asked, taking my less than subtle hint. "We could take another nice romantic stroll to round off the evening."

"If you're offering babe, definitely."

"Well," she said, obviously faking thinking about it intently, "I hadn't considered it until you started hinting but if it'll make you happy then that's what we'll do."

I rolled my eyes at her, I don't do it nearly as well as she does, but I wanted to prove that I could do it too, and with that, we both started laughing.

o+o+o

_Naomi_

"Having fun mate?"

I glanced across at Effy who was sat staring at me as the twins gabbled away at each other.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason," she said, "thought I'd just check you know, you were looking a little serious there."

I guess that's possible, I'd been lost in my own thoughts for a while. The main course had arrived, been devoured and been taken away, and bloody good it was too, totally worth the money it was costing us.

Even Emily was looking full at the end of it, though that hadn't stopped her from ordering dessert; to be fair I _had_ insisted on it in fact we had all ordered something.

"I'm fine Eff, just thinking about how happy everyone looks, even you and you're usually a totally miserable emo freak."

"Cheeky."

"Yeah, so sue me."

Effy smiled and leaned over the table, "I would," she said, "but I think you blew all your cash on Emily's presents. I can see why you never showed me them now, they're lovely. How the fuck did you afford them?"

"It's as I told Katie Eff, I worked remember."

"Even so," she said knowingly, "that's a hell of a expense with saving up for this trip at the same time. Go on how did you manage it? You can tell me, I promise to keep your secret, even from Katie."

"I may have dipped into my Uni fund."

She looked at me disapprovingly. "Hey, it's not a problem, so I'm probably have to work my way through college, but then I was probably going to have to do that anyway if I didn't want to run up a huge debt. Besides, I'm having a lot of my fun now you know? and it was more than worth it"

"Well you've certainly raised the standard for me now mate, I thought I'd done enough with bringing Katie here for her birthday but..."

"You have." Katie's voice interrupted our little chat, and we both turned to see two faces looking at us intently.

"I have what Kay?" Effy asked all innocently.

"Done enough, done more than enough actually. You gave me my sister back on our birthday E and I don't think I'll be able to tell you how grateful I am for that."

"Yeah, me neither Eff, thank you isn't nearly enough but thank you anyway, it's the best birthday present you could have given me."

"You're welcome Emily," she replied, a shy smile creeping over her face.

"Though if _you_ want to buy me diamonds babe, I won't complain in the slightest."

"I can't buy you diamonds Kay, I'm only a poor student remember?"

I waved over the waiter, trying to ignore their banter, and asked for another bottle of wine; the two we'd ordered originally having taken a bit of a hammering already.

"That reminds me Katie, you still haven't told me what you're going to study if you're not going to Manchester. I thought you had your heart set on that fashion course."

I pricked up my ears at Emily's comment, I have to admit to being interested in what Katie was going to study and why. I wanted to see what the reason was she'd decided to stay in Bristol, besides Effy that is. Everyone's eyes were on Katie at that moment and for the first time since the Love Ball I watched her wither under other peoples gaze.

"What are _you_ studying Effy?" I asked trying to break the silence and spare Katie for a second, "you haven't told me yet either."

"I'm studying Psychology," she replied casually causing me to just goggle at her. "I thought that I'd bring a certain, expertise, to the field…you know, being a fucking fruit cake myself."

Her casual dismissal prompted a dig and an angry look from her girlfriend who proceeded to berate her for her self-deprecation. "Tell them the truth E, you don't have to be ashamed of it you know."

"I'm not ashamed Kay, I just didn't think it was the best time to mention it that's all." Katie frowned at her again and I watched as she caved in to that Fitch stare. I think I need to make sure I don't fall for that myself...perhaps I should try not to fall for it _again_ would be a better idea though; I'm sure I recognise that look.

"OK, ok," she finally said looking at the table. " I got to thinking about my grades, the ones that I didn't even earn; I thought perhaps I could do some good with them. Perhaps help some people down the line, let them get the help that I was supposed to get from John."

I can't help but think that's a truly noble idea, that my fucked up little friend is going to do something really worthy; I got a surprisingly shy smile from Eff when I told her so.

"So come on Kay, are _you_ going to tell us what you're studying?" Ems asked, noticing finally that Katie had ducked the original question with my help.

"I've got a place at the University of the West of England, studying nursing."

There was a short silence at the table as we all stared at Katie, even Effy. She had said the last word so quietly I wasn't sure I'd heard her correctly.

"You're going to study to be a nurse?" I asked breaking the silence, trying to clarify if I was right; the glare I received telling me that there must have been more than a hint of surprise in my voice.

"Yes, what's wrong with that Campbell?"

"Nothing, it's just a surprise Katie that's all," I replied trying to defend myself, "I just didn't see you as wanting to be a nurse."

"Neither did I, but I decided that's what I want to study, I'm going to start on general nursing, but I really want to get into paediatric nursing; that's my plan anyway."

No-one at the table scoffed at that, I knew about Katie; Emily had told me all about the tragedy that had happened too early in her life; and for once in my life something she had done, other than fall in love with my friend, made perfect sense. Of course she'd want to be a nurse, of course she'd want to work with children; it was obvious to me now and I have a fleeting suspicion that she'll be awesome at it. People who care usually are; they both will be awesome and I'm more than a little jealous. I'm supposed to be the one that wants to change the world, make this planet a better place; yet my two friends have just quietly announced that they are going to do just that.

"That's great Katie, you'll make a great nurse I'm sure of it." Emily cried, sliding off her chair and rushing around the table to hug her sister. Katie looked thoroughly unimpressed with the attention.

"Ems, get off me," she said, pushing her sister away. "Jesus I've only signed up on a nursing course, it's not like I've cured fucking cancer or something."

"Yeah, but it's great Kay," Emily continued enthusiastically.

"Yeah, it really is," Effy said quietly

I stopped looking at Katie to look across at the face of my friend, she was looking at Katie with pride, pleasure and I think a hint of disappointment. It was then I realised that this must be the first time she'd heard about this as well.

"You ok Eff," I said sotto voce, making sure the twins couldn't hear me.

"Yeah, it was just a surprise that's all. I thought she might have told me she was making such a dramatic change to her life." She shrugged sadly, "I guess she wanted to share it with her sister first. It's ok, I'll get over it. It's not like it's a big deal, it's just a college course."

"Effy."

"It's ok Naoms, honestly. Here I've got something for you, take a look when you get a second and tell me what you think ok?"

She reached into her jacket pocket and slipped me some sheets of paper under the table. I looked down at them and then carefully adjusted myself so I could sit on them, keeping them out of the way. I looked up at Eff to ask her about them but she was gone, well gone as far as I was concerned anyway; she'd moved her chair closer to Katie's and was busy congratulating her with a smile on her face and an arm around her waist; chatting away happily, just the three of them.

Casually I reached under myself and palmed the papers, getting to my feet and slipping away from the table. Ems caught my eye as I stood and I mouthed "toilet" at her and she nodded and turned back to their discussion.

I locked myself in one of the empty cubicles and closed the toilet seat before sitting down to read what she'd given me. Opening the folded pages I found a short note attached to the top, the scribbled writing a testimony to the haste in which this was written.

_'Naomi,_

_I took your advice and wrote it down, I wanted to see if it would seem clearer on paper than in my head. Please take a look at this, I've no idea if it sounds any good, or even says anything, but I wrote it in case I screw things up; like you said, it's my back up plan._

_Eff'_

I took the top sheet and folded it, placing it onto the cistern behind me and began reading.

_'Katie,_

_This is fucked up and I don't know what to do. I hope if you do ever read this letter that it's because we've talked and everything is ok, if not then I hope this explains things better than I can say it._

_I'm confused and I'm scared._

_There it is, down in black and white and it doesn't make me feel any better for writing it, I don't know why I thought it might._

_I know you've probably been thinking I've been acting a bit strange lately; well the truth is I've been having a rough time since I spoke to dad the other day. Well I say I spoke to him, he didn't want to speak to me really, I could tell. When I asked him to book us this trip as a present he sounded like he was doing it so I would go away. When I told him about you I could hear him scoffing; I even heard him say 'ridiculous' you and me Katie, my dad thought it was ridiculous and it got me to thinking, what if he's right? I guess he shocked me out of the happy little place I've been living in since we got together and I started getting paranoid, again._

_I've been wondering ever since if this is real between us, if you and I aren't caught up in something bigger. I keep thinking that we might have just fallen together because of Freddie, that we are both just holding onto one another because we've got no-one else to hold on to. That we're alone and scared and drowning in it all; and that we're both just grabbing onto anything nearby to keep us afloat. That I'm holding onto you to keep me afloat, afloat and sane._

_That's what I felt anyway. I sat on that plane and thought about nothing else. How quick everything was for us, how easy it's been. I'm a mess Kay, I've got scars that are visible and invisible, and I've no idea why you would put up with me. I've thought about it and thought about it and really I've no idea why we're together when you sit down and think about it dad's right; someone like you stuck with me, that is ridiculous._

_I love you Katie, I do. I doubted it, but a good friend helped me through it today and made me realise that I do, but you deserve a lot better than me, you deserve a lot better than a fucked up emotional cripple that's totally fucking mental when you're not with her._

_I don't want to be the person that holds you back, I don't want to be the person that stops you from being everything you want to be. I can guess how much you wanted to go to Manchester, wanted to study that fashion course and I can't help but think that I'm in some way responsible for you not going and I can't stand that._

_You should look at re-signing up for your course, I __**want**__ you to re-sign up for that course; I don't want you to do anything in your life because of me, I can't cope with the responsibility that I could have taken something from you that you really wanted._

_I'm sorry if you're reading this because it means I was either too scared to talk to you, or I was too stupid to make myself clear. I do love you Katie, I love you so much that if you want me to I'll walk away; I'll do that for you._

_Ef'_

I read the words and shook my head, not really believing the level of stupidity that I was looking at. They were together, they were happy, and Effy's bout of paranoia was threatening to ruin what they had.

Well I'm not letting that happen, I'm not going to let her ruin this; I'm _not_ going to let her give this fucking letter to Katie.

I walked back into the restaurant just as another round of drinks was being poured.

"You ok Naoms?" Emily asked me, eyes full of concern. It never ceased to amaze me how well she could read me, how she seemed to be able to tell how I was feeling with just a glance.

"I'm fine hun, need a ciggy that's all, getting withdrawal; coming Eff?" I asked casually, "We can give the birthday girls a few minutes alone that way, I'm sure they'd like that."

I got a pair of smiles at my comment, Effy, however, didn't look that happy. In fact she looked a little pale at my attempt at shanghaiing her but got up from her chair and followed me outside anyway.

"You read it then," she said as I waved the papers in front of her eyes.

"Fucking right Effy, what the fuck is this?"

She stared at me and stole a cigarette out of the pack I'd placed on the table. "You read it, Naomi, you know what it is you told me to do it."

"I told you to write down how you felt Eff, not write a fucking 'Dear John' letter for fucks sake. Did you actually read this rambling piece of shit back before you gave it to me?"

She lit her cigarette, stealing my lighter from out of my hand and using it to hide from my question.

"Well did you?" I asked, not letting it go. She shook her head sheepishly before looking up at me her eyes hardening.

"I knew I should have asked you to take a look Naomi, I knew you wouldn't understand." My pulse racing in anger, I dragged her away from the doors and over to some quiet tables on the other side of the pool.

"I don't understand?" I nearly shouted at her, my frustration bubbling to the surface, "I don't know how you can stand there and say that Effy Stonem; of course I fucking understand. I understand _as_ well, if not better, than _you_ do."

I saw a look of surprise and fear flash across her eyes at my outburst and I took a breath before continuing; trying to calm myself down.

"I've been there Effy," I said finally able to express myself properly, "I remember how it felt. You're confused, you're hurting inside, you don't know what to do or who to turn to and everything you think about seems to back up your original fucking supposition. You're just looking for answers Eff, but you're looking for the ones that make you right and you're fucking not!"

I slumped into the chair I was leaning on and took a long draw on my fag. Effy sat down herself and waited for me to speak.

"Eff, you know all about this, you _know_ why I know. I heard you make one comment to Emily and everything fucking snowballed from there. I would see you glance at her and convince myself that it was more than just a friendly look. I saw you and Katie at ours and thought it was Emily and you that were curled up like lovers. I saw you and Katie together so many times and I convinced myself it was Emily. It never fucking occurred to me that it might be Katie, after all, at the time I was convinced that Katie's not gay; my fucking screw up is a lot more understandable than yours, I had an excuse, you're little freak out is utterly groundless. I know how your mind is working Eff, so don't tell me I don't understand; you've had this stupid idea and you're looking for all the evidence to tell you you're correct. I did the _same thing_ mate. You've got to turn it around and start looking for the evidence to prove yourself wrong; because I'm telling you Eff, it's there for everyone to see, Jesus...even I can see it."

I stubbed my cigarette out in the ashtray in front of me and lit another one. As I stared into the yellow flame of my lighter I suddenly had an idea; I took the folded papers from the table and placed them in the ashtray next to the fag-dimp and lifted my lighter.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Effy asked, reaching out to grab her letter. I held her hands back quickly and stared into her eyes.

"You're not giving this to Katie mate, it's not really what you want to say. We're going to destroy it and pretend it never happened and you're going to stop being a twat and deal with this properly."

She struggled for a few moments more before relaxing slightly, allowing me to release her and grab the papers.

"You think I'm being a twat?"

"I think you're 'doing a Campbell', yeah. I think you're trying to run away."

She smirked at me for a second as I threw her words back at her before her face fell again. Carefully I set light to the notes and dropped them into the ashtray and we watched as they burnt down to cinders.

"There," I said, as the last of the paper charred and turned to dust. "it's like it never existed."

"Doesn't make it any less true though. Burning it doesn't make me feel any differently."

I lost my temper at that point, not totally, not enough to be screaming at her, but enough to be able to make it clear how annoyed at her I really was.

"Jesus fucking Christ did you listen to a word I said this afternoon? Katie loves you Effy, she's with you because she fucking loves you, that's all there is to it. No confusion, no ulterior motive, nothing. She fucking loves you, it's that simple!"

"She's right you know."

We both spun around to see Emily stood behind us, her eyes flicking between mine and Eff's.

"She really does love you Effy, she's done nothing but talk about you. Bored the shit out of me actually, I really must apologise to her; I must have annoyed the shit out of her when I was talking about Naoms here."

She slipped herself onto my lap and I breathed a sigh of relief that she wasn't pissed off at me.

"Would the pair of you care to explain what the hell is going on before Katie decides to come out here?"

"Effy's 'doing a Campbell' hun, that's all. I'm just reminding her of what she's forgotten."

"About Katie?" she asked, fidgeting on my lap. I nodded and looked across at Effy who shuffled uncomfortably.

"Babe, why don't you go and keep Katie company, she's picking desserts. Tell her that I'll have the fried ice cream. Get her to pick something for Effy here. I think we need a little chat."

"It's your birthday hun, you shouldn't be thinking about things like this, I've been trying to keep it away from you."

She leaned back in her seat and wrapped her lovely arms around my neck. "babe, you're cute and all, but you started my birthday at four o'clock yesterday so it's well past time. Besides, I haven't got Katie a birthday present, so sorting out her relationship will have to do."

She leaned in and kissed me softly on my lips, leaving just a hint of spice and white wine on my lips. "Thank you for a wonderful birthday babe, thank you for everything; now run along and keep Katie company before she comes out looking for us."

She looked me expectantly as I waited and I raised an eyebrow at her. "Well," she said, what are you waiting for?"

"I'm waiting for you to get up Ems, so I can go in."

Effy and I burst into laughter at the embarrassed look on Emily's face as she climbed to her feet allowing me to stand up.

"Go easy on her Ems," I asked as I placed a hand on my friends shoulder. "Eff's having a bit of a rough time."

"I'm not going to do anything but tell her how Katie feels about her babe, obviously you're not the only person around here that needs to be convinced they can be loved. Tell Katie I wanted to thank her for the trip or something."

I nodded and left the pair of them to it, wandering casually back into the restaurant. Katie Fitch was sat in her chair, glass to her lips a frown on her face.

"Where's Effy?" She demanded as I sat down and picked up the menu.

"Ems wanted to say thank you to her for bringing you both out her. She might be a few minutes, she's probably a little emotional by now."

"She's always emotional," she said, with a bit of a smile on her face; "and now she wants to steal my girlfriend. Told her I had the best one."

I smiled sweetly at her jibe and just nodded my agreement. She probably does, fuck knows I've made Emily's life miserable at times. Effy has done nothing but tell me her fears, like I'd told mum. Difference is, I know what she's going through, mum just convinced me I was a twat. Hopefully between is we'll head off Effy at the proverbial pass and stop her being an asshole.

"Nice presents Campbell, I didn't realise you had any taste at all. Perhaps there is some hope for you."

"Nice career choice Katekins," I retorted instinctively, "I didn't realise that you had it in you to be so noble."

We glared at each other for a few seconds before sniggering and looking away.

"Shut up you muff-munching bitch," she said shaking her head as she laughed.

"Fuck you tartikins."

"Will you two ever stop slagging each other off?" said a voice that never fails to cheer me up, even though I only heard it a few moments ago.

"Probably not Ems," Katie said smirking at me, "Campbell's an easy target, I mean have you seen how she dresses?"

"She looks pretty good to me," she said as she sat down, running her hand down my thigh.

"Yeah well, that's because I chose her dress for her isn't it?" Katie replied. "I'm the one with great taste."

"Actually Kay, if you remember; I picked it." Effy said with aplomb, "which means I'm the one with great taste."

"Well duh!" Katie replied, "You're with me aren't you? Obviously you've got great taste, not as good as mine of course, but then I'm with you so clearly I've got fabulous taste."

It was at this point three things happened that were important. Firstly, Emily's fingers gripped my leg in a way that was both painful and kind of hot at the same time. Secondly, I bit back a really, really good line about not wanting to know anything about those two and how good they taste; which was a shame because I knew it would silence Katie in a heartbeat. Finally, and most importantly, I saw my friend smile a truly genuine smile for her girlfriend; certainly for the first time that evening, probably for the first time that day.

Emily is happy and Effy and Katie seemed to be back on track, all is good in my tiny little world.

I consider today to be a very good day; and it's not over yet.

.

.

.

**A/N -** All mistakes are my own, I'm tired of looking now...New Years Hangover! Hope you like Keffy's University choices, I figure it's time everyone grew up a bit (-:

Laters lovely readers, thanks for sticking with me. Joyous Samhain to you all.


	10. A Good Day

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer –** I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent. Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame)...I do have one hell of a headache though, I think I own that!

**Authors Note **– I know, it's a week late, sorry...I woke up this time last week with one of those wonderful colds that make movement impossible, staring at a screen difficult and my brain really wasn't working. This week has comprised of going to work, (because I have to) followed by collapsing in exhaustion.

Still I've made this chapter extra long to make up for it, mistakes are mine, and if you don't like it I'll blame the illness!

**Chapter 10 – A Good Day.**

_Emily_

I love Naomi, I really do, but sometimes her single minded, over sensitive, pig headed nature drives me mad. Like this 'let's not tell Emily that her sisters girlfriend is having second thoughts because it's her birthday' bullshit. It took me a matter of moments to tell Effy why I know Katie loves her, it's not rocket science and I think, actually I hope that Effy accepted it.

For Katie's sake I hope she accepted it, because we're on the move again soon leaving them behind and venturing off into the sunset and they'll be on their own. I hope Effy accepted it because we won't be here to pick up the pieces if things fall apart.

Anyway, she really does drive me crazy, mostly in a good way, but just sometimes she makes me want to scream in frustration. I understand why she didn't want to tell me, why she wanted to keep it all a secret and make sure nothing affected my happiness; but honestly, this _is_ my sister we're talking about.

I can't be angry at her though, how the hell can I be angry at her for wanting to do everything she can to make my birthday special? Even if that includes hiding some pretty important things from me.

_'Silly cow; silly, wonderful, thoughtful, stupid, beautiful cow!'_

"Everything ok Ems?" she asked, her voice barely carrying over to me as I watched Effy and Katie as they chatted to each other, their heads practically pressed together.

"Everything's fine babe," I told her shuffling closer so I'm practically sat on her lap. "Well I hope it's fine." I added quietly.

"It will be hun, Effy's just having a muppet-moment that's all, she'll work through it. What did you say to her anyway, you weren't out there long."

"I told her I'm Katie's twin and I just know these things, 'it's a twin thing', you know?"

"Oh right," she said before looking at me confusion etched on her face; "hang on, you told me you two don't have that weird twin sense thing."

"We don't," I replied smirking, resulting in a daft grin from my girl followed by an obviously fake frown.

"You lied to her; that's terrible Ems," she whispered, leaning towards me and pressing her lips to my ear; as she whispered her words she allowed those beautiful lips to flutter against my earlobe, sending rather nice shivers through my nerves.

"You lied to Effy about Katie loving her, on Katie's birthday...Emily Anne Fitch how could you?"

"I didn't lie," I whispered back, shifting in my seat, trying to match her position, teasing _her_ ear with _my_ lips and ignoring the gentle teasing in her voice.

"I do know she's in love with her…Katie's always talking about her and it's never like I've heard her talk about anyone else she's dated; well, perhaps except for Freddie. I just let Effy believe it was a twin thing, she's always so bloody 'all knowing' so I thought it should be my turn to claim divine powers."

"I love you, goddess Emily," she said leaning away and pressing her lips together to stifle her amusement. "Sometimes you're so fucking clever, and worryingly sneaky"

"Naturally," I replied, leaning to follow her, kissing her lightly on the lips, "I'm a verified genius I am."

"Modest as well, eh hun?"

I kissed her again and slowly slipped my hand up her leg; my fingers drifting casually under the hem of her skirt. I felt her breath hitch as my nails scraped the soft skin on the inside of her thigh and smiled as I slid my hand back down to her knee.

"Tease," she mouthed to me as I drew away, pulling my chair back to my place setting, leaving her high and dry. I winked again and stuck my tongue out at her, flicking the tip gently in her direction causing her to snigger rather adorably. I flicked my eyes towards Katie to see if she had noticed and was going to open her mouth and start taking the piss. I needn't have worried, her eyes were well and truly closed and her mouth was clamped firmly to Effy's; I looked back towards Naomi who was watching them too and smiled.

Job done, it was over to them now.

It wasn't until the waiter arrived to bring more drinks that I noticed that we'd been getting a bit of attention from the floor, or rather Effy and Katie had. I also noticed that there were a group of men in the corner of the room that were staring over at us. I'm kind of used to that, I've been stared at by men for such a long time now, Firstly it used to be because I'd be with Katie and they can't seem to resist staring at twins. I didn't want to imagine what went through their minds, though Katie would try to tell me everything she thought they were thinking when we were younger. Lately I've been stared at because I've been out with Naomi, getting looks as we held hands or kissed in public, by men and women, but still mostly by men.

Still it doesn't explain why we're being stared at by this particular group, they're not looking on with thinly veiled lust, or some kind of hopeful desire; they're looking at our table with thinly veiled contempt and I don't think it's just plain homophobia.

_'I wonder what that's all about'_ I thought, spotting that they were still staring at us.

"Ignore them," Naomi said noticing my glances their way, topping up my half full glass with wine.

"Why are they looking at us like that babe?"

"Because they're a bunch of ignorant tossers Ems; Effy and I had a run in with them earlier. Just ignore them honey, don't let them ruin our night."

I gave the crowd one last glance before agreeing with her and turning away; time is too short to waste it on idiots that want to hate. I'm here with my favourite people in the world and I'm determined to have fun.

"Are you trying to get my sister drunk Campbell?" Katie said, prising her lips from Effys and waving her wine glass at the rapidly depleting bottle.

"Absolutely Fitch, I'm trying to get everyone drunk. This _is_ supposed to be a party isn't it?"

As if to prove her point, Naoms topped up their glasses before filling her own.

"An _elegant_ party," Effy said raising one single eyebrow at Naomi. "We're supposed to be civilised now we're all grown up remember?"

"Touché," Nai replied tilting her glass towards her friend. They shared a look and smiled. I'm really happy those two have got close, and not just because Effy's now dating my sister; I get the feeling that they both need someone, someone other than a Fitch that is, to balance out their lives. They're so similar it's untrue and to hear Naomi describing Effy's little panic as 'doing a Campbell' makes me realise how close they've become in such a short period of time.

Well ok, two years of knowing one another isn't exactly a short time; but they weren't _really_ that close for most of those two years. They only got close _after_ our time at college, mainly because Effy needed someone and Naomi was there for her; I guess we all were. Adversity often brings strangers together, but it brings friends closer together as well. It brought us what we have and I'm delighted to see Effy erupt from her Emo chrysalis and turn into the butterfly that I hope we've _all_ helped create, the smiling, happy girl I see before me.

As we waited for dessert I felt a light kick from under the table and looked up to see Katie staring at me, she widened her eyes and flicked them towards her girlfriend for a second before returning her gaze to me.

"If you'll excuse me," she said deliberately looking at me, "I think I need to freshen up."

"Yeah," I said taking the hint, "I think that's a good idea."

We got up from the table and headed for the restaurant toilets; I couldn't resist running my hand across Naomi's bare shoulders as I passed behind her, wishing we were somewhere more private where I could really enjoy the feel of her skin under my hands. As hard as it was I pushed that thought away and went back to wondering what the hell Katie wanted, she'd made it clear she wanted to talk to me about Effy, she'd been using those 'I need to talk to you' looks since we were in primary school.

It didn't take long for me to find out, no sooner had the door closed behind me Katie turned with a flourish and glared at me.

"Are you going to tell me what that little charade was Emily?"

"What charade Katie," I sighed as I realised her anger an jealousy was raging in my direction.

"You and Campbell with Effy, what the fuck were you doing with my girlfriend?"

"We took her outside for a threesome Katie, Effy wanted to compare you and me...duh!" I watched as her face flinched before continuing, putting her out of her misery.

"We were _talking _dumbass, Jesus, what the fuck did you _think_ we were doing?"

Ktie blinked and scowled at me, before changing tack and surprising me with her next question.

"What's going on Emily, I know there's something wrong, Blondie has been on eggshells around Effy since this afternoon, what do you know? Stop keeping fucking secrets Emily."

I looked at her, she's actually scared and my heart is breaking just a little bit because of it.

"There's nothing going on Kay, not really. Naomi and Effy have been talking about something today and I've only just found out about it about ten minutes ago, honest. I asked Naomi and she said they've been trying to keep it secret so it didn't ruin either of our birthdays."

"Talked about what Emsy," she replied, calming down slightly, the apprehension still present in her voice. "Look just tell me ok? if she is planning to dump me I'd rather know, because the not knowing is killing me and it _is_ ruining my fucking birthday."

"She's not planning to dump you Katie," I said quickly; realising where her fear was coming from. "Quite the opposite in fact."

I looked around at where we were stood; as nice as it was, a Ladies toilet isn't really the place for this kind of discussion. I grabbed Katie by the hand and dragged her out of the door; sneaking out of the restaurant and into reception where I claimed two chairs and pushed her into one.

"Look sis I'll make this quick ok before they get suspicious. Effy's had a bit of a panic attack about you two that's all, she's got it into her head that you can't love her and it's all happened too quick. Reading between the lines I think she's a bit scared by how strongly she feels about you and she's a little bit paranoid about it. There's probably a lot more, but you know how vulnerable she is."

Katie nodded, surprising me again as I saw the gleam of tears in her eyes, tears that were quickly blinked away.

"I do love her you know, I can't tell you why but I do. Do you think that's it? Because I can't say _why_ I love her, that's why she thinks that I don't."

I shook my head, I couldn't tell Katie why I love Naomi, not really; it's just something that is there, deep inside me. It's like a connection that's so strong, it's almost painful when we're apart. I could tell her a million things I love about Naomi, then I'm sure I could tell her a million more. But _why_ I love her? that's one for philosophers to ponder; for me it's enough to know that I just do.

"Katie, just talk to her. Take five minutes of your time tonight to tell her how much you love her and how scared you are that she's having second thoughts and all of this will go away, for both of you. Then," I added trying to be dramatic, "you can go back to enjoying your holiday and have great make up sex; and you can't tell me that's not a great way to end a birthday."

Katie grinned and blushed, lowering her eyes to the mosaic floor.

_'Gotcha sis'_ I thought, knowing that her mind was already planning how to deal with this little problem. I also knew that I could forget about it now, once Katie Fitch put her mind to something there was no turning back; I almost felt sorry for Effy, she was going to get played tonight. But it was all in a good cause.

"She really loves you, you know that don't you Katie?"

"Yeah, I don't know why though; it's not as if I deserve it."

"Katie you deserve _everything_! Do you remember last year when I was on the train home and you called me? I told you that you'd been hanging around the wrong blokes and that one day you'd find someone who was actually worth it. Well you have, you've found her and I'm glad to see I was _almost_ right, it wasn't the wrong blokes you'd been hanging around with; just blokes in general."

"I'm blaming you for that you know, giving me your gay genes in the womb."

"You sure it wasn't the other way around Katie, after all you're the elder twin as you keep reminding me; you keep telling me that _you_ 'came out' first."

"Funny Emsy, very funny...not!"

I smirked back at her and stood up, holding out my hand to her to pull her from the seat. "Come on you, let's go back to our two misfits before they think we've pulled in the toilets and left them to themselves.

"Blondie really does love you doesn't she Ems?" Katie said, standing and pulling me into a hug. "You're really lucky; you know all of this on your birthday. I'm seriously jealous of those gifts."

"I know Katie, it's all been a bit of a whirlwind since yesterday when we checked in, she's kept it all so secret; it's so great I can't believe it's really happening."

"Effy told me that Naomi's been a bit of a mess for the last couple of weeks; you know, since you got back together again. Eff said she's been worried sick about keeping secrets from you, I think she's actually grown up a bit."

"She's not the only one," I said as we re-entered the restaurant and I saw Naomi and Effy clink their glasses together in a salute and smile broadly at each other. "Nursing Katie, who would of thought it?"

"Oh don't; seriously, I'm dreading telling mum. I think she wanted me to do fashion and design more than I did. Something about coming up with some awesome wedding outfits for her failing bloody company."

"I can imagine!"

"So can I, makes me glad I switched course."

"Did you switch courses for Effy Kay?" I asked her, finally finding the courage to ask my sister the one thing that had been in the back of my mind since she mentioned it.

"No Emsy, I switched courses for me. I decided to switch courses before me and Eff got together. It's just a lovely coincidence, a really happy coincidence in fact; but I did this for me, because _I_ wanted to."

It made sense to me, it had from the moment she'd told us all. The others might see it as a surprise but I knew my sister, I always had. Her decision made perfect sense to me and I'm so glad she's given in to her feelings and allowed herself to do something that will make her happy, rather than something that will make her feel good.

I'm also glad that it's not just because of Effy; because I'm not sure they could survive that pressure in the years to come.

"I'm proud of you Katie, I really am. You're a top twin."

"Oh fuck you Emily!"

"Fuck you right back!"

o+o+o

_Naomi_

I watched as Katie led Emily away to "the toilets" I had no doubt in my mind that freshening up was the last thing on her mind. I may not be very astute, but I'd noticed the glances across the table, and I'd seen Emily jump as Katie, I assume, kicked her under the table.

I'm not worried though, whatever it is Emily will deal with it, and if she can't, and she causes any pain for my girl today, I'll punch Katie's lights out, birthday or no fucking birthday.

"Emily said she has a sixth sense when it comes to Katie," Effy said once the twins were out of earshot. "She's lying though, I can tell."

"What did she say Eff?" I asked, glad that she's dropped her overly happy persona just for a second. I knew she was overacting with Katie and now I suspect that Katie knew it as well.

"She said her and Katie are 'in tune', that they have a 'twin sense thing' and she can _tell_ Katie is in love with me. I know she's lying, I can always tell when people lie to me."

"So, is Katie lying when she tells you she loves you Eff?" I asked, trying to trip her up with her own argument and make her see sense.

"Katie doesn't count," she replied calmly, "I'm too close to Katie to tell if she's lying or not."

That was a cop out answer, but it's ok; I'm used to them from Effy. Whenever things get too close she avoids the issue. It doesn't matter though, I'm persistent, I'll get there in the end; just like she does with me.

_'See Effy Stonem, I learnt from the best.'_

"Emily _has_ got some kind of bond with Katie though Eff," I told her, "it's not one of those weird twin things though. Technically she's not lying, she does know Katie better than anyone else; I think she just knows Katie's signals. Though like I said, if _I_ can tell that Katie loves you Eff, I'm surprised that you can't see it."

"Yeah but you're _"all seeing" _aren't you Campbell?"

I squinted at her, "Who told you about that?" I asked defensively.

"Relax Naomi, Emily made a joke about it weeks and weeks ago that's all. I thought it was funny, given that you keep saying the same thing about me."

"Yeah, well you're not so all seeing now are you Eff, you're pretty fucking blind if you don't mind me saying so."

I caught a flash of blue and red out of the corner of my eye and looked away from my friend. I saw a glimpse of Emily dragging Katie out into reception and wondered what was happening now.

"Emily's telling Katie isn't she?"

"To be honest mate, I think Katie knows something's up, she's the one that practically dragged Ems away."

Eff looked down, her face falling her expression gloomy. "I've fucked up their birthday haven't I? and after all the effort you went to for Emily."

"Oh Effy shut the fuck up," I told her. "You heard them, putting those two together on their birthday was the best thing you could have ever done for them. Do you know how many brownie points you'll have scored for that little present? You've been through a lot Eff; and yet you've always been there for all of us. Frankly it's more than time for some payback mate. Look, Emily is out there sorting Katie out right now, then they'll come back here all sweetness and light and that's how the evening will go on. You haven't ruined anything Eff, but if you keep getting yourself down like this then you'll run the risk of doing just that. You and Katie were looking great a second ago, you had half the people in the room jealous of the pair of you. You both looked _so_ fucking happy, even _I _was a bit jealous of the two of you, and I've got the best girl in the world on my arm."

"Not quite Naomi, but I think we may have landed the best girls in the world, they are twins after all."

"You might be right there Effy, I think we can call it a draw."

"A draw sounds like a fair result; I guess we'll never know what we did to deserve them will we?"

"I doubt it mate, if Katie is half as great as Emily you're fucking lucky because I'm seriously blessed."

"You're a soft bastard Naomi."

"You're a soppy twat Eff!"

She laughed at that, a warm genuine laugh. "Emily told me I was being a twat by the way," she told me conversationally.

"You were."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it." I sat back and smiled at her, watching as her grin painted her face with colour.

"You're in good company you know, if you _are_ being a twat by the way," I said casually. "Both Emily and I have confessed to that recently."

"You both _were_ being twats, _you_ especially."

I looked at her furrowed brow in faked astonishment, "Me?" I exclaimed defensively, "What did I do?"

"You scared the shit out of Emily - Campbell, and you scared the shit out of me too on that fucking rooftop. Don't ever do that again ok?"

"I won't Eff, but you've got to promise me you'll stop being a dickhead, ok?"

"I'll do my best ."

"Good."

Effy raised her glass to me, "To not being a pair of twats?"

"Why not," I said lifting my own, "to fruit-loops and fuck-up's." I said with a wink.

"Now I'll drink to that."

"Drinking without me Naomi," Emily said as her and Katie finally arrived back at the table.

"_Toasting_ without you hun," I replied smoothly, "not quite the same thing. Just me and Effy having a toast to calling our little competition a draw."

"What competition's that?" Katie asked, her eyes narrowing at me.

"The one we were having back home before Ems and I left; the 'which one of us was lucky enough to land the best twin' competition."

"and you've decided on a draw have you?" Katie snapped.

"Yes," Effy said turning to her girlfriend with a smile, "I'm never going to back down and it looks like Naomi isn't likely to come to her senses in the near future; so we've decided to call it a draw for our own sakes."

"Hang on Effy," I protested, "You've got that the wrong way around!"

"Not from where I'm sitting," Katie said smugly.

"No, I'm sure Naomi's right," Emily said slipping into the seat that she had pulled next to mine again and slipping her arm around my waist.

"What would you know Emsy, jeez you're such a loser."

We all cracked up at Katie's obviously over the top impression of her younger self and any residual tension disappeared from the table, evaporating like steam. It wasn't a moment too soon either as our desserts finally arrived and we tucked in like starving people, well Emily did anyway. I was still feeling the effects of a starter and a main course. I'm sure I'm going to have to diet for a few weeks to get this meal off me. I don't want Emily 'high metabolism' Fitch dumping me because I've got a bit chubby.

Feeling full or not, however, I managed eventually to clear the plate of my honey noodles; the sweet honey and the sesame seeds working beautifully against the vanilla ice cream. It was probably the best dish of the night, I loved it.

I would have normally shared it with Emily, however as the deserts had arrived she had stared at her own ice cream dish in some surprise. She'd ordered the fried ice-cream thinking it would be funny but she'd been presented with a large ball of fried tempura batter, covered in a caramel sauce. Her confusion lasted about as long as it took her to break into the batter to reveal the ice cream inside and then she was silent for the rest of the meal. 'Starving' Emily is funny to watch, she has a capacity for sweet foodstuffs that would challenge Willy Wonka and the speed at which the dessert vanished was a sight to behold.

"Enjoy that Ems?" I asked as she scraped the last of her caramel sauce up with a finger, sucking on it seductively.

"Mmm Hmm" was all the answer I got, and all the answer I needed; it was a good day, a good meal and Ems was happy.

Job done.

o+o+o

_Katie_

Miramar beach by moonlight is stunning, not that there's much moon for it to be lit be at the moment but it's lovely, a really special place; especially when you're with someone you love.

_'I get it Emily, don't fucking laugh but I totally get it.'_

Effy and I had left Emily and Blondie to it, after we'd paid for the meal and had a few drinks out on their wonderful bay view terrace. I'm even a little bit jealous, part of me wishes that _I_ was staying at such a nice hotel; but then I've got no complaints about the place we're staying in either...

Ems may be lucky to have Naomi do all that for her, but then _my_ girlfriend just flew me halfway around the world just to see my twin on our birthday; if I was being competitive I think I won...

Maybe.

Anyway, we left them alone as the night got late. I think Emily and I both realised that, despite how great it was, no, how utterly priceless it was, for us to be together on our eighteenth birthday; that we both had other people in our lives now and we wanted to spend time with them.

I know that's what I thought, I suspect that's what Emily thought as well. It's funny really, I'd always seen Emily as an extension of me, sort of; but she was never a truly independent person. She couldn't be; because if she had her own life then we weren't Katie and Emily, and that couldn't happen.

Katie and Emily...Katie _and_ Emily

That's just how it was, it was always about me _and_ her; Emily was nothing without Katie and that's how I liked it.

It's not true of course, I understand that now, I watched my little sister grow up in front of my eyes as soon as that love she has came to light; and I came to realise that she's always been the strong one, the independent one. I lost _my_ Emily the moment she sank her claws into Blondie and ironically I found the real Emily not long after. I actually like the real Emily, I'm actually very proud of her.

We're not Katie _and _Emily any more, we're not twins and we're not sisters. We're both more than that now; all those things are true but they don't encompass the fact that we're now friends as well.

I like being grown up, it's given me so much.

"You ok Katie?"

"I'm fine Eff."

We're walking down the beach and we look like a total movie cliché, holding hands, shoes grasped firmly in the other. It's my second proper day in India and I've spent it with two people I love more than anything in the world...

It's been a good day, a great night.

"So are you going to tell me why you hid your little nursing secret from me babe?"

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

I tried desperately to keep my voice light, to keep the sound of accusation out of it. I've been guilty of foot-in-mouth disease before and I didn't want it to sound like an insult. I'm trying to take Emily's advice and simply talk to her about it, ease her fears if I can.

"I asked first."

Jesus what are we seven? Honestly, she's about as mature as I am sometimes.

"Ok, I'll go first then; but it wasn't a secret all right? I wanted to tell you and Emily together that's all."

"You could have told me though Kay, I felt a bit of a prick hearing it from you at the table. You're supposed to talk to me about these things."

There's enough of a hint of accusation in her voice to get my hackles rising and I suppressed a desire to snap back at her for the bare faced hypocrisy. In the end, 'mature' Katie won out over 'bitchy' Katie and I just squeezed her hand as we walked lifting it to my lips and kissing her knuckles by way of apology.

"I'm sorry Eff, it was just...well, you're the two most important people in my life and I wanted you both to know at the same time. I was going to do it over the phone the other day when I got my letter, but then you told me about coming here and I thought I could do it face to face. I thought it would be the best way; it seemed like a good idea at the time."

She wouldn't meet my eyes and I thought for a minute about how she must have felt about finding out something like that the way she did. Part of me thinks it's no big deal, but then I suppose it is one of those life affecting decisions and she thinks that I didn't trust her to know before Emily; didn't trust my own girlfriend, the person I'm living with, to know before anyone else. I thought about that and a little wave of guilt washed over me, like one of the wavelets that were lapping at the beach to my right.

"I'm sorry if it hurt you Eff, it wasn't my intention. I just wanted you both to know together; I guess I didn't consider how you'd feel, it's all so new to me this 'being together' thing; I'm sorry I fucked it up, sorry if I upset you. I really didn't mean to."

To my relief she squeezed my hand back and after a few seconds spoke.

"I understand Kay, it just hurt a bit, with everything else that's going on. Emily probably told you I've not been myself recently."

"I didn't need Emily to tell me that babe, I do pay attention you know? I knew something was going on, has been for a few days, but I wanted to give you space to sort it out rather than make it worse that's all, I didn't need Emily to tell me anything."

"But she did though didn't she?"

"Yes Effy, she did; she told me you were worried about us and that I should spend five minutes talking to you, so that's what I'm doing, because I'd rather spend five minutes right now that have it come between us anymore. I think I've made things worse by not trying to help and I reckon we need to talk."

"Can we do it tomorrow Kay, please? I don't want to ruin your birthday any more than I have already."

I stopped dead on the beach and dropped my shoes into the sand and made a big play of looking at my watch.

"Effy it's twenty past midnight, my birthday was over and done with twenty minutes ago and it _was_ perfect You didn't ruin a single thing, it's been fucking brilliant, every single minute of it. But you know what would make it even better, make this holiday even more special? Knowing my girlfriend was happy, so come on talk to me; what's up honey?"

Effy just sighed and dropped her own shoes, amusing me by suddenly sitting down in the sand in front of me almost pulling me over as she did so, our hands still clasped together.

"I wrote you a letter you know?" she said looking out at the dark waters," but Naomi burnt it. I tried to explain all of this in it."

"All of what Eff?" I asked her, "Emsy told me that you were having a few issues and we needed to talk, but that's all she said; well apart from everything was really ok and I shouldn't worry."

"She told you that?"

I nodded and stood over her.

"She did, now will you please tell me what's wrong so I can slap you about the head repeatedly until you sort this shit out?"

Effy's head flicked up to mine in shock as I grinned down at her. Ok she may have softened the nasty bitch I used to be but I can still totally bring it when I want to. I let go of her hand and put my hands on my hips dramatically, putting on my best over the top frown.

"I'm waiting Stonem!" I said, squinting my eyes at her; the look ruined by the fact that my tapping foot was making a muffled thud in the dry sand rather than the impatient clicking that I really wanted it to make. Eff stared at the spectacle and leant back, propping herself up on her elbows, stretching her feet out in front of her.

"You're fucking beautiful you know that Katie?"

_'She's telling me I'm beautiful; without all this make-up I'm a sad ugly little cow, she's the beautiful one, she's the one that makes me seem perfect.'_ I don't tell her any of this of course, I pull back on my Katie Fitch mask and carry on. This is about her insecurities not mine.

"Well duh," I told her, smiling down, "I keep telling everyone but no one seems to get it."

"I mean _inside_ Katie; like you pretend to be this massive bitch, but you're actually quite a beautiful person inside. You care a lot, you care about the people around you; you care about them more than you do yourself. You remind me of Naomi sometimes."

"Effy, just because it's not my birthday anymore it doesn't mean that can start insulting me you know?"

"It's not an insult Katie, you wanted to talk and that's at the crux of things, you're a beautiful person and I'm a fucked up head case with more problems that people can conveniently count."

I wanted to hit her right there and then, a clip around the ear or a slap across the back of the head; something that would knock her out of this. It's not the first time I've seen her hit a low, it's not something we really talk about; well I've tried but she just shrugs it off. Sometimes things happen and she withdraws until she's ready to come out again. I try to be there for her because that's all she seems to want, all she seems to need; but this time it feels different. I've been as close as I can be without grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her, and it hasn't worked.

Perhaps that's exactly what I should have done; shook her silly, shook her until she realised how daft she's being. Perhaps not, perhaps I need to be a bit more mature about this.

"You're _not_ a head case Elizabeth Stonem," I told her, saving her full name for that whole parental 'I'm pissed off at you' feel. "You're a beautiful, sensible, sensitive person who is prepared to put up with a grouchy, backbiting, pissy little bitch like me."

She went back to her whole looking out to sea thing, avoiding me once again. I decided that enough was enough, we were going to deal with this head _fucking_ on. I stepped across her, straddling her legs and, hitching up my skirt to make it possible, dropped to my knees so I was sitting on her outstretched thighs.

"Don't you go all fucking distant on me Eff, we're a long way from home and you know what I get like when there's no one to talk to."

I saw a slight smile crease her lips and her eyes turned towards me, I leaned forward and cupped her cheeks in my hands.

"That's better baby; now come on, stop telling me all the things that you think are wrong with you and tell me what's upset you."

She went to protest and I leaned in and placed one soft, chaste kiss on her dry lips, watching her tongue flick out to moisten them as mine left hers.

"Because really Eff, if all you're worried about is that you're a bit mad sometimes, well that's just silly because I know you are; and to be honest as long as I don't have to break down any bathroom doors, like ever again, then it's ok."

She looked at me curiously and I smiled back at her and mimed slashing wrists at her. I guess it wasn't that funny as her face dropped and her eyes clouded; even in the dim light I could see that.

"I know you've got problems sweetheart and not one of them means anything to me because not one of them make me love you any less. I'll even help you count them if you think it'll help; we can write them all down and tic them all off when we fix them or learn to deal with them, starting with whatever it was that started this all off. We were happy before Eff, we will be again."

I put my hands back onto my hips and scowled at her, "Now spill!"

Eff dropped from her elbows onto her back and lay there with me sitting on her tucking her hands under her head to raise it so she could look at me.

"It started with dad, the other week when I called him to finalise the tickets, he took the piss Katie; he took the piss out of you and me. I heard him say that it was ridiculous and he was right wasn't he? The idea of you with someone like me, it is a bit ridiculous."

I'm actually offended, not that she'd agree with him, but that he'd say such a thing; I mean, he's never even met me. Where the fuck does he get off telling Effy that a relationship with me is fucking ridiculous? Tosser

"I kind of shrugged it off Kay, because he's always been like that, especially since mum; he's hardly been supportive, or there for me especially with the old..."

She lifted her hands into the air in front of us and mimicked my wrist cutting gesture.

"He never came to see me you know, after that; he never even called. No wonder it was so easy to blackmail him into getting us these tickets."

"I thought you said he offered…" I started, she didn't let me continue

"I guilted him into buying them Kay, I told him it was the least he could do for me and my girlfriend. I told him he should come and meet you and he ducked the issue telling me he was busy, that's when he muttered that it was ridiculous.

Anyway it all came rushing back on the plane, you were asleep and I had nothing else to think about but how lucky I was to have you, how happy I am when you're around and how much better I feel when you're with me. Then I started thinking about how we got together and how fast it was and how it wasn't that long ago I hit you and then there was the whole Freddie thing and I just thought that perhaps dad was right, perhaps it is ridiculous, perhaps you're just holding onto me because of what happened and not because you actually care about me; well you do care about me but not in the right way you know?"

I stared down at her adumbrated face, and all but yelled at her trying to hide my anger and frustration at the whole messed up scenario she's created.

"No Effy I don't know, I don't have a _clue_ what you are on about. Just tell me what's wrong with us Eff, that's _all_ I want to know; because if I don't know I can't fix it."

"You don't love me Katie, you think you do but you can't, it's not possible. How _can_ you care about me? I'm nothing but a fruity-loop wrist cutter, I'm just 'mad' Effy escapee from Bristols best fucking loony bin; you're just confused about Freddie and _we _are a result of that confusion."

"So you don't love me?"

"No Katie that's not what I said, of course _I_ love _you_; but there's no way you feel the same way."

The desperation in her voice told me everything I needed to know. I'm not clever, I'm not even particularly emotionally astute. Effy had once described me as emotionally aware as a coffee table when we were skirting around each other, taking little jibes because we could. Well even with a barely existent ability to recognise emotions I can tell that she wants me to tell her it's not true; I can sense the pleading that's coming from every pore, the silent cry that's begging me to tell her that it's not true.

"You're Katie Fitch," she told me, heartbreak evident, "you're something special, you're something primal, unfettered, unique. You can't love a fruitcake like me, and even if you did, you know I'll break your heart. I break everything, I break everyone"

I leaned over her, placing my hands on either side of her tiny face and silencing her babble with a kiss.

"Shut up babe," I told her and my lips moved over hers, "you're talking shit."

I kissed her again stopping her from speaking before pulling back and starting again.

"I can't believe that you've created this entire drama over one word from your dad Eff, I also can't believe that you've talked to everyone we know about it before talking to me. To use a phrase that Naomi's fond of describing herself as, you're a total twat."

"That's what she told me."

"Well she's right," I paused for a second for effect before continuing, "I can't believe that you'd do this to me Effy, I can't believe that you'd put me in a position where I'd be agreeing with Naomi fucking Campbell. You're going to have to do something very special for me to make up for that."

"Like what?" she asked sullenly, moving her face to the side and looking away. I held myself up on my hips and balanced on one arm; glad that I hadn't been a total angel through my childhood, and that dad's idea of punishment actually gave me some upper body strength. I used my free hand to pull her face back to mine, to force her eyes to look into mine.

"Like stop doubting me, stop doubting us. Like realising that you're one of the most fantastic, intelligent, and wonderful people that I know. Like start believing that you're so intense and cool it's a fucking privilege that you'd think to give me the time of day let alone think I was worthy of loving."

"But…"

"But nothing Stonem, but nothing at all. I don't feel like this because of some mistake, or because of Freddie's death, or anything like that; I just feel it ok? I'm with you because I _want_ to be with you. It may have _started_ between us because of Freddie, I can be honest about that; but what's happened since has got fuck all to do with him, fuck all to do with anyone but you and me."

I sat back onto my haunches, stretching up into the warm Indian night. "Besides, no one has ever made Katie fucking Fitch do a single thing she didn't want to Effy Stonem, and it isn't starting with you. Frankly girl, your mysterious shit doesn't work on me."

She looked up at me, her hair sprayed out onto the dull sand, the only light coming from her pale blue eyes.

"It does, however, fucking turn me on though." I said leaning down again, lowering my body onto hers, the opposite to how we had lain last night, our first night in India. "If I'm clinging onto you Eff it's because I _want_ to cling onto you, because I'm _supposed_ to cling onto you.

You know, Ems reminded me of something today; she reminded me of a conversation we had last year, when she told me that one day I'd find the one person that was meant for me. I never thought I would...I always hoped I would naturally, but too many boyfriends treated me like shit and caused me to dump them, move on and look for the next chance to be happy. I thought I might have found something with Freddie and I _only_ dated him at first because I thought it would piss you off; but he's a really nice guy and I sort of fell for him. That's why I was so pissed off at you when he dumped me at that fucking camping trip. I thought he might be the one that I could care for.

I was right and I was wrong; because I care about you more than I ever did about him or anyone else, well except perhaps Emily but that's different. Anyway, I love you Effy I _know_ I do; I'm in love with the fruity-loop wrist cutter and the voice hearing nutter _and_ the nice, sensitive girl that's buried underneath; the one I get to see all the time we're together."

"That's because you make the voices go away Katie, they go away while you're around; I'm sometimes scared that's _why_ I love you, because you take away the voices and make me feel safe."

"The voices go away because _you _make them go away Effy," I told her firmly, leaning back and pushing my arms under hers to hold her better.

"That's not true," she yelled, "it's all down to you Katie, they went away when we got together and they only come back when we're apart, or when I think we're apart...like now."

"You're hearing the voices now?" I asked her, suddenly concerned, it was with some relief I was able to continue as she shook her head; confirming my original belief.

"Effy babe, _you_ make them go away, you do it because you're happy; that's all it is. I'm glad that it's me that makes you happy but the rest is all down to you. When we're apart or distanced and you're miserable then they come back because you let them. You can keep them away babe, I'm glad I make you feel safe babe, but please don't underestimate yourself."

There are tears running down her face now and I wrapped her up as tightly as I could, trying to hug away her doubts, willing her to listen and understand.

"You're only saying that so you won't feel guilty about leaving me," she cried, the truth of her fears finally expunged; drawn out like one of her demons and left to lie on that warm sand.

"Is that what this is all about?" I asked, "you think I'm going to leave you?"

Her silence sang the song of a thousand voices and for once in my life I managed to work out someone's emotional problems without a route map, a guide book and a personal advisor.

"Oh Effy," I sighed, dropping myself onto the sand next to her prone body, rolling slightly to cover her side. "All this because your dad said one fucking word, all this fear and stupidity over nothing. Babe, I don't want to leave you, fucking hell I've only just found you. Do you know how good you make me feel? Christ Effy I don't even want to scream at Naomi when you're with me, I hardly ever lose my temper and I'm much less of a bitch that I've ever been before. Even Emily tells me I've become a nicer person since we got together. This isn't about me or you anymore babe, it's about us, it's about me _and_ you and how fucking good we are together."

"But Katie..."

"No Effy, no 'but Katie', no 'but' anything babe. This has to stop ok, I know you're having a moment; I know you've got scared, but we're too good together to let things go to shit because of something that your dad said that probably didn't have anything to do with me and you."

"He didn't want to come and see me Katie, didn't want to meet you."

"That doesn't matter Eff, not to me anyway. But if it's made you feel like this why don't you tell him? Why don't you tell him that his rejection hurts you?"

Effy just rolled over to look at me, her eyes still bright with tears, carefully I stroked her cheek, careful not to get sand into those wet tracks, careful to leave her skin pristine.

"Eff, I'm not a genius babe, I'm not astute like you, but even I can tell that this is about your dad. You've had no doubts about me and you, none whatsoever; not since we started dating. Yes it's been quick, but you know what that doesn't matter to me and it shouldn't matter to you. It only matters because you feel rejected by your dad and you're transferring that onto me. I'm not going to reject you Effy, not now not ever."

"You can't say that Katie, you can't know that."

"I can Effy because I know how my heart feels. Sure I don't know for sure what will happen tomorrow or next month or next year; but who does. Do you think Emily and Naomi know any different? They know how _they_ feel Effy, and I know how _I_ feel and that's good enough for _them_, it's good enough for _me_ and it _should_ be good enough for you. You're the clever one babe, you're the perceptive one; tell me I'm wrong."

She looked at me for a full minute, those piercing eyes boring into mine. I stared back at her unblinking, holding her gaze; praying that she'd see the truth in my eyes. Finally she blinked and smiled, a weak smile admittedly but a smile nonetheless.

"I can't tell you that Kay, I can't because you're right. We don't know anything about tomorrow. I know how I feel about you though Kay, I guess that's going to have to be good enough for me."

"Well it's good enough for me Eff. I love you, you know that right?"

"I know that Kay."

"Are we ok now Eff?" I asked her, "are _you_ ok?"

"No, but I'm better babe, better than I was. Sorry for ruining things."

I wiped the tears from her cheek, "you haven't ruined a thing honey, I'm glad we got to sort this before it went any further, before you did something really stupid like doing a runner or something."

"Yeah," she conceded sadly, "I think I owe Naomi a drink or two for giving me a slap today."

"I'll buy her the first round Eff, I think I owe her that too. Now come on you, time to head back to that hotel, I seem to remember there's a bar open and we've got nothing to get up early for tomorrow."

I disentangled myself from her arms and climbed to my feet, dusting myself off as I did so; smiling as I watched her do the same.

"Where the fuck are my shoes?" I asked looking around at the dark sand before spotting them sticking up, heel first a few feet away. I grabbed them in my right hand and took a few steps down the beach, relaxing slightly as I saw Effy catch me up and walk beside me.

Slowly, shyly, still a little unsure on how it would be received; I held out my hand to the brunette beside me, and equally as shyly she took it, squeezing my fingers slightly as we walked down the beach. It felt right, in fact it felt _more_ than right to be doing this; it felt as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I love her, she loves me and we're walking down what must be the most romantic beach in the world. I hope she can feel it as strongly as I do.

"Katie?" she asked as we'd walked less than a hundred meters down the soft sand.

"Yes Eff?"

"I don't want a drink, I don't want to go to a bar if that's ok with you. I want to go back to our room go to bed and curl up with you; is that all right?"

All right, all-fucking-right? Does she really not understand just how great that sounds right now.

"Sounds perfect babe," I told her.

"I love you Katie," she said simply, squeezing my fingers with every syllable. "I wanted you to know that, right here and right now. I really do love you, you're my everything."

I don't know which one of us started the embrace, started the kissing and I don't really care. The shoes have gone for a burton again, dumped into the sand like the insignificant objects they are. My hands are all over my girls beautiful body and I can feel her hands stroking mine. As I lose myself in the throes of passion, lose myself in this wonderful, beautiful girl that loves me, my mind focuses on one last thought before the dark veil of lust descends.

_'What a good day that was, what a good day this is going to be.'_

o+o+o

_Naomi_

We watched as Katie and Effy left, hand in hand, through the entrance and off into the darkness. Midnight was fast approaching and we'd privately agreed, well the twins had, that those dying few moments of their eighteenth birthday should be spent apart. I felt privileged that she would want to spend even more time with me; and told her so.

"Naoms I've spent birthday after birthday with her; I've only spent one, now two, with you. I want to savour it."

"Lots of birthdays to come, if I'm lucky enough to still have you around that is."

"Lots of birthdays to come babe, for _both_ of us."

I shook my head as she nestled into my side as the two interlopers to our private holiday disappeared for their own walk down the beach. There would be lots of birthdays, but not for both of us; for Emily and Katie, for Effy and Mum and Kieran; James, Rob, Cook the rest of the gang perhaps...possibly even for the queen bitch herself if she was genuine about wanting to make up with Ems and Katie. But there wouldn't be any birthdays, not for Naomi Campbell; not if I've got anything to do with it. Ems get's birthdays, she get Christmas and Easter and every little festival that comes along in between; she loves them all so much; in that we're so very different.

I've enjoyed making Emily happy, enjoyed the fact that the simplest things put a smile on her face. I'm sure I could have got her a ten quid pair of gold hoop earrings from Argos along with some horrendous chav pendant, the sort of junk that Katie would probably swoon over, and she'd have extolled their virtues to the highest power. But that's not the point is it? This birthday was as much about atonement as it was a signal of our future; because I needed to atone for everything I've done, I needed to continue what I started in that shed. One day I'll put a ring on that girls finger and stand in front of our friends once again and declare my love for Emily Anne Fitch; it holds no fears for me anymore, I've done it once...I can do it again and again and again.

But that's for another day, another part of our hopefully endless story, we've got so much ahead of us and who knows what that future will bring? But as long as I've got Emily in my life I know it will at least bring happiness; at least most of the time.

"Drink Ems, one more before we take a walk?"

"Why not babe, give them a chance to get away; don't want to fall over them lying in the sand now do we?"

"Not a chance."

We spent a quiet time together, holding hands and watching the boats chug past; Emily clutching her favourite drink, me settling for a diet coke again. She raised an eyebrow as I ordered but smiled and said nothing; she remembers, she always does...she remembers every little detail about our relationship. She remembers them almost as well as I do.

Eventually we walked, hand in hand, out of the reception, tracing the steps that Effy and Katie had taken and headed down to the beach.

"I had a really good time today babe, thank you."

"Yesterday hun, it's after midnight now."

"Whatever," she said, playfully slamming me with her shoulder as we walked, "I still had a good time. I can't believe you and Effy managed to get Katie over here."

"Nothing to do with me hun, all Effy that was. She decided it would be a good thing to get you two together and went out of her way to make it happen. Sounds like it caused more trouble than she thought as well."

"How do you mean?"

"I'll tell you later hun."

"Is this to do with that little problem Effy had?"

I nodded but didn't answer, I don't want to ruin our moment with a discussion about those two.

"Will you stop keeping secrets and talk to me Naomi?" she said, the familiar hint of exasperation drifting back into her words.

"Will you stop being all controlling and trust me to do the right thing Emily?" I retorted instinctively, snapping back at her spoken orders like so many times before. I didn't mean it, I know she's worried about her sister and her relationship. It's just, I know they'll work it out; Effy's much more sensible than I ever was.

"Sorry." She replied, looking down at the floor and I could hear the low note of pain in her voice; instantly making me feel, deservedly, guilty. This isn't the time to be re-opening old wounds about our relationship as was.

Realising that I'd very nearly fucked things up again I took two quick steps to the side and pulled her into the bushes that spanned the hotels driveway, roughly shoving her up against a convenient tree and pinning her arms behind her.

"What the fuck? Naomi!" she squealed, only half-heartedly protesting my actions.

"Shut up you," I said pressing my lips against hers before moving down to her wonderfully soft neck, "Stop talking, stop apologising, stop everything."

I felt her hands slip out of my grip and draw up my back, her fingers deftly stroking my spine before starting a downward plunge towards my buttocks; which she cupped, pulling me closer into her.

"Everything but that," I told her, changing my mind in an instant. "Stop everything but that."

I heard her chuckle as I bit down on her shoulder before working my way back up. Emily had thrown her head back against the rough bark of the tree, allowing me a simpler route from that soft tanned shoulder, up the side of her throat and finally to that wonderful, sensitive skin that resides just below her ear.

I felt her hands leave my arse and run their way over my hips and up my body, her thumbs pressing against the sides of my breasts as the continued their inexorable climb. Finally, her nails scraped against the soft skin at the base of my neck before entwining themselves in my hair and gripping tightly, dragging my head away from her neck and back to her lips.

"You're fucking terrible," she said in between kisses, "trying to ravish me in the bushes what are we, fifteen?"

"Sixteen Ems," I told her, pulling back and licking my lips; tasting her lipstick once more before pushing forward to kiss her once more, pinning her to the tree again. "When we were fifteen you kissed me at that party, it was when we were sixteen I ravished you in the bushes; well in those woods anyway. Seventeen was on a beach in Goa and eighteen, well we'll have to see won't we."

I saw her blush as I recounted the memorable phases in our sexual relationship; her cheeks reddening in the soft glow of the uplighter that bathed the tree top in its unnatural yellow light.

"Are you going to let me go now Nai?" she said pushing me away slightly, smirking as she did so.

"Nope," I said playfully, leaning forward and attacking her neck again.

"Get _off_ Naomi," she squealed playfully pushing me away again with those deceptively strong arms; all traces of that little glitch between us now gone, "you promised me a walk and this tree is pretty fucking uncomfortable for anything else."

I raised an eyebrow at her and she squinted her eyes at me, feigning annoyance. "You're far too fucking clever Naomi Campbell, you're too good at changing the subject and making me forgive you. But I will trust you babe, of course I will. Just tell me about Effy when the time's right ok?"

"I will babe, I always meant to you know?" I promised, meaning every word.

"Good," she told me, leaning forward to kiss _me_ this time, pushing herself off the tree and wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Now you owe me a walk on our beach Naomi Campbell, then I want to go back to that lovely room; because I tell you, the most memorable shag of me being eighteen will not be 'up against a tree' not when we've got that big bouncy bed and that fabulous room."

o+o+o

We clambered out of the bushes and back onto the small road that led out of the hotel and through the quiet streets around to the beach, slipping off the unfeasibly tall shoes that Katie seemed to think were acceptable walking gear practically the second we encountered the rough ground of the nearby road.

I felt my chest relax as we walked through the narrow pathway and out onto the white sand. It was as if stepping back onto that beach was like stepping out onto our own private planet, the place where Emily and I had properly found ourselves again; away from all the history and bad memories of Bristol.

"You feel it too?"

I turned my head and looked across at the grinning girl next to me, wondering exactly how she had been able to tell what I was thinking.

"That was a big, content sounding, sigh Naomi; like you'd found something you've lost."

"I wasn't aware I'd made a sound Ems," I confessed.

"Well you do it a lot babe," she told me, leading me out onto the beach proper. "It's actually kind of cute. I can tell a lot about you now from the noises you make without thinking, it's one of the best things Effy ever told me about you."

I thought about that for a second, I can't decide what's worse, that Emily has some special way of gauging how I'm feeling, or that it was my best friend Effy that taught her it. It's actually a bit weird.

"That's just wrong!" I told her, frowning as I did so. "You're only supposed to know that sort of thing if you've worked it out yourself; you're not supposed to rope Effy into your discussions."

"It's not the only thing I know about you babe, it's just one that Effy mentioned before we left. You'd been grumping around the kitchen and she sort of mentioned you making noises involuntarily."

"Sure she wasn't taking the piss about our love life Ems? Her and Katie have mentioned that we can be a bit noisy at times."

"Not this time babe," she replied giggling to herself, "to be honest I was telling her how I knew when you were angry because of how you close the kitchen drawers, you slam them when you're really pissed off, but you shut them normally when you're just being your normal, grumpy, self. She told me that you have a habit of sighing or muttering under your breath as well, and that she can tell what you're thinking by judging just how it sounds."

"She's far too scary sometimes." I concluded, conceding that she might be right.

"Yeah, but she's been quite handy over the last few weeks."

"I'm sure Katie would agree with you Ems, I'm sure Effy's been very handy." I told her cheekily, trying to change the subject again.

"Ugh, thanks for that image Naomi."

I couldn't help but laugh at the sound of her indignation, the sound almost drowned by the noise of the surf.

"Anyway, enough about Effy and my sister I want to spend the rest of my birthday night with my girlfriend."

"Yeah," I agreed, "that sounds good hun; me and you right?"

"Me and you babe. I'm sorry I was a bit caught up with Katie this evening; hope you didn't feel neglected."

"Oh I felt horribly neglected Ems, I was all lonely and upset; I don't think I'll ever recover from it."

I doubted that my best 'little girl lost' voice would convince her for one second; but it was good to be able to play like this again. Despite my words I had become accustomed to it being just me and her over our time in Goa and the others intrusion, whilst welcome, did feel a bit strange.

"Cheeky; seriously Nai, I didn't mean to neglect you if I did."

"Ems it's fine, more than fine ok? Why would I feel neglected? you wanted to spend a bit of time with your sister. If I didn't want her here I'd have told Effy to fuck off when she first thought of it."

"Speaking of which," Ems interrupted pulling me to a stop, "Isn't that them over there."

She pointed to a couple of figures that were getting up from the sand and dusting themselves down. It did indeed look very much like my best friend and the toxic twin. As we watched, the two figures picked up some stuff from the sand and walked away, silhouetted slightly in the moonlight. Hesitantly, the figure that looked suspiciously like Katie held out a hand which was just as hesitantly taken by the taller figure. I felt Emily's fingers grip my own, writhing until she had my free hand locked in a grip that matched the others.

"Do you think they're ok?"

In all honesty I didn't have a clue, I hope they would be, but it does look like something has happened between them; that hesitant looking hand holding did not look like the act of a totally happy couple. I spent the next few seconds running through everything I would have to talk to Effy about the next day and cursing my bad luck; closing my eyes and muttering to the skies.

I opened my eyes just in time to see the couple pull each other into a passionate embrace. I felt Emily's fingers tighten around my own and I knew that she'd seen it as well.

"Sorted," she said confidently, looking on as the couple practically fucked each other as they stood on the sand.

"Yeah, safe," I replied, thinking of how glad I was that things were on the mend; hoping that they'd cleared the air and that this mean they were back to normal. Well as normal as Katie and Effy would ever be.

"I think this beach is a little crowded tonight babe, do you want to head back?."

"No swimming tonight then hun?"

"We're not exactly dressed for it this time Naoms." She told me, pulling me into her, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"I can soon fix that hun," I told her toying with the laces at the back of her dress, "one quick tug and I'm sure you'd be dressed for swimming."

"Don't you dare!"

We stood for a while like that, just kissing, enjoying our private moment together; privacy that had been lost somewhere in the melee.

"This is nice," she told me; slipping her hands down from my neck and around my waist, snuggling into my chest.

"Yeah it is," I confirmed wrapping my arms tightly around her shoulders. "Ems, there's something I have to say to you."

"Is it good or bad?"

"Dunno, but I think it needs saying."

"Oh go on then, disappoint me," she quipped, moving her head and kissing my cleavage.

"I had a thought today, when I was talking to Effy about her and Katie. I really need to apologise for all the times I did stupid things like she did. If I hurt your head the way she hurt mine, well I must have been a total asshole. You know, with the doubts and the worries and everything we went through in those early days."

"You were babe, a total asshole; but I always forgave you, just like I bet you've forgiven Effy. At least she spoke to you about it babe, she did a lot better than we did."

"We?"

"I think we both might have benefited from some talking back then babe, especially after that party. I think I was probably as big a pain as you were."

"Yeah, I guess we're both useless twats then."

"Not totally useless babe, we got ourselves sorted eventually, and now we can help those two learn from our mistakes."

"We did Ems and we can, you're right, we can totally do that." I told her, an idea germinating in my mind. I watched over Emily's head as the other couple, the mirror image of me and my girl vanished down the beach; heading back to their hotel. "It's about time something good came out of everything we went through."

"Nai?"

"Yes love?"

"Be quiet and take me home."

"We don't have a home anymore Ems, we're totally homeless at the moment."

"Yeah, we're a pair of nomads and I fucking love it; now stop being picky and take me home."

"Yes dear."

o+o+o

I sat alone on the balcony as the sun rose over Goa, scattering its light across the wavelets out in the bay. I had the hotels letter pad in front of me and I'd been scribbling for ages, my mind unable to rest; and it wasn't for lack of trying.

It had been just before one when we fell into bed; well, Emily fell, I sort of pushed her before being dragged down to join her on that luxurious mattress. Our giggly and slightly tipsy pushing and shoving session had very quickly turned into something much more passionate and as I sat writing I was carefully nursing the scratches and bites that weren't uncommon from a drunken Emily.

She's a bundle of passion at the best of times, when she's had a few drinks she's almost a danger to my health, I fucking love it though.

So after she had bitten and scratched and marked me as her own, and, in fairness, I'd done the same to her; we'd collapsed in a heap on the bed and fallen asleep together.

Nearly.

After half an hour of trying I'd moved from the bed to the chair and sat to watch her sleep. I love watching Emily sleep, love the fact that I _get_ to watch her sleep; that I'm the one that she's chosen to spend her days and nights with. I know for a fact that she could have anyone, male or female, that she wanted; and yet I'm the one that gets to sit and watch her as she dreams.

I don't think I'll ever tire of watching her, I don't think I'll ever lose the feeling of awe that she wants me. I could spend all of eternity like this and consider myself in heaven.

Eventually though I left Emily alone and headed out of the room and onto the balcony, the idea that had begun to germinate on the beach now fully flowering into life in my brain and flowing through my fingers onto the pad in front of me. Emily had inspired me to write and yet it wasn't a letter to her. It wasn't a love letter to the girl who'd captured my heart, it was an agreement to a girl who held another Fitch's heart in her hands and needed the reassurance of one who knew how fragile that could be…

'_Effy_

_I hope that you understand why I did what I did yesterday, I hope you realise that I did it out of love, not for any other reason. I love you like the sister I've never had Eff; and part of that love means I have to tell you when you're being a twat._

_Just like you've done for me, so many times before._

_I meant everything I said, you and Katie seem right together, more right than I care to define. You're both so comfortable together, so fucking natural I'm actually jealous, though if you tell Katie or Emily this there will be trouble._

_Anyway mate I've been thinking about it and I've come up with a series of rules that we should both agree to follow in order to make our relationships work. We both have the capacity to be great with the twins at our sides, but we've both got that built in destructive streak that we need to handle in case we fuck everything up. So here they are, my rules to keep us safe, sane and happy _

_Rule #1 – Don't Be A Twat_

_We both do it, we both know we shouldn't (see Rule #2)_

_Rule #2 – Talk To Someone_

_I don't do it as often or indeed as well as you did, but when we think that we're in danger of breaking Rule #1 we need to talk to someone, I need to talk to Emily or you, or mum and you need to talk to Katie, or me or Anthea, actually fuck it if she's still in Italy talk to my mum, it sounds like she's practically adopted you two anyway._

_Rule #3 – No More Running_

_I won't do it if you won't, but I promise if I think about it I'll obey Rule #2 Promise me you'll do the same._

_Rule #4 – We Cherish What We Have._

_I've got the most wonderful person in the world in my life; I'm sure you feel the same way. For some reason known only the themselves the Fitch girls have decided to grace us with their love and we need to hold onto that and cherish it for what it is fucking special – which leads nicely onto…_

_Rule #5 – Let's Not Let Each Other Fuck Things Up!_

_We're going to get scared, paranoid, panicky, jealous and messed up; I know I am anyway, it's part of my nature and as much as I want it to change it's going to take time. Emily knows this and accepts it, for now. I don't think you're any different to me mate, you just show it differently; I think you probably need to explain it to Katie as well. However, I will do everything short of serious physical violence to stop you fucking things up with Katie because that's what you've done for me; all I ask is that you keep doing what you've always done and try to make sure me and Emily are ok, don't let me fuck things up again._

_There you go, five simple rules for us both to live by, because we can get through anything that's thrown at us as long as we've got each other, our friends and most of all Ems and Katie by our sides. I'll stand by each and every one of these rules and any more that we think up along the way if it'll keep my girl by my side. I hope you still feel the same way. I know it'll be a struggle, I know there'll be times where the emotions may overcome the logic but let's do our best eh?_

_Now do me a favour, burn this message before anyone else gets to see it._

_N_

_xxx'_

o+o+o

I felt a pair of soft lips press against my neck and awoke to find a pair of arms wrapped around my shoulders.

"Hey you, what are you doing out here? Everything ok?"

I jerked myself awake and quickly folded the notes on my lap, hoping that she hadn't seen them.

"Hey honey, I couldn't sleep," I told her, though the position she'd found me in clearly proved the lie.

"Thought I'd get some fresh air in, write a quick letter," I said holding up the folded pieces of paper.

"Who you writing to baby, Mum?"

"Only Effy love, nothing special just a thank you letter for making you so happy. Thought she'd appreciate it."

"That's sweet."

"Mmm, what time is it Ems, is it time for breakfast already?" I'm kind of lost right now, not really knowing what time it is; I don't remember going to sleep at all, let alone have an idea of how long I've been out. My brain is barely functioning through the tiredness that's dogging me still; despite the wonderful nature of my awakening.

"It's early sweetheart, and it's time you came back to bed. I miss your body heat and it's cold."

It's nothing of the kind, though I suppose it is slightly chillier than it has been for a while here, there's a thin layer of cloud over the normally blue skies and there's a hint of rain in the air. She's definitely right though, it's time for me to go back to bed.

Ems led me through the glass doors and pushed them to behind us, sealing us in our own little luxury space, cut off from the world. I sat on the bed and tucked my letter to Effy into my bedside cabinet, absently noting the clock that told me it was five thirty in the morning. I heard the toilet flush and the running of water as I rolled myself under the luxurious cotton duvet, promising myself that my life as a student would have one of these if I had to work every day from getting home to starting in Uni to afford it. I heard the slapping of bare feet on terracotta tiles and the dip of a mattress as the love of my life climbed in next to me.

Carefully I slid across the bed and wrapped my arm around her, enjoying the feeling as she snuggled herself into me without turning, those peachy buttocks pushed firmly onto my thighs.

"That's better," she said; yawning as if to emphasise how tired she still was. "I missed this."

"I wasn't far away hun," I told her, my eyes starting to droop as the warmth and comfort captured my awareness as well.

"I know, but I still miss waking up with you babe, I miss waking up to find your arms around me."

"I'll endeavour to make sure that your every morning is like that then hun," I told her sleepily.

"Great; that'd be great baby, could you make that rule number six?"

.

.

.

**A/N -** I'm off to bed again, CP will be updated soon guys if you're waiting for that...though I may have to spend a few hours playing COD-BO for some inspiration (-;

Sorry if you've sent me a PM and I've not replied, seriously this illness has wiped me out totally. I'll get round to doing it all soon enough. Thanks for reading.


	11. Logos and Pathos

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer –** I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent. Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame)...I do have one hell of a headache though, I think I own that!

**Authors Note **– Being ill blows goats...I have proof!

Right, before I start I have a confession to make. I totally forgot to give credit to two people last week for things that they mentioned in reviews for CH9. TigerRam - no you didn't mention your thoughts on career paths for Katie and no I'm not surprised you'd gone down that route, mainly because you're clever and also because I'm not that subtle really am I?

Oh and big credit to lumagoo1015 for spotting (and linking to) Katie's little look at baby Albert that gave me the inspiration for the paediatrics side...the nursing came from the capacity to care that TigerRam mentioned...Katie's a carer, she just didn't have a way of expressing it. My belief and I'm sticking to it.

d-: if you don't agree.

Anyhoo after a weekend dominated by the Mrs raving about a Paramore concert and a late night Happy Potter viewing I'm amazed I've got this finished...hope it's ok, I've been planning this one for a while and I'm a bit nervous to let it go, especially after deciding to split it.

**Chapter 11 - Logos and Pathos**

Naomi

With the morning came Emily, though not in the sense I'd originally intended. It was close to eleven when she bounced onto the bed waking me up, obviously already more than awake and filled with energy.

"Oof," I'd exclaimed as she landed right next to me, jolting me awake, "fucks sake Ems, where's the fire?"

OK it was probably less than charitable, especially as I'd intended to wake her in a particularly nice way this morning; I hadn't forgotten about what she'd said the night before, especially about rule six.

Though rule six will never exist! I am not writing a rule about Emily waking up with arms around her that I will agree _with_ Effy, she's got her own Fitch, and frankly she's welcome to her!

Anyway, I'd gone to sleep planning to wake up early as usual and, just for a change, allow myself to succumb to my usual temptation; run kisses over her shoulders and neck, perhaps chance more than a few gentle caresses and let things build from there. My plan was to see how turned on I could actually get her _before_ she woke up.

It was a good plan, actually it was a fucking _great_ plan; unfortunately I'd not accounted for her being asleep for a good few hours longer than me, and that when my head had hit the pillow for the second time that morning I'd fallen into a stress fuelled coma.

Yes I was stressed about my best mate fucking up one of the best things that had happened to her for ages, so fucking what?

So, instead of waking Ems up gently and perhaps spending the whole morning making love, or taking warm showers, or ideally combining the two elements; I'm the one being woken by a mad Red-Bull fuelled girlfriend bouncing away next to me...

The best laid plans of mice and men and all that, or is that the best laid plans of mice and fucking exhausted blondes.

"Time to get up babe," she told me, "we're wasting this beautiful morning."

I looked at her through bleary, and probably bloodshot, eyes and slumped back onto the white cotton of the pillow. The crisp, white, expensive cotton that is calling to me right now; whispering my name seductively and begging me to close my eyes and fall asleep once again.

I think I have to, it would really be rude to ignore it's pleas wouldn't it?

"Naomi babe, really come on; it's nearly lunchtime, we should be getting up. You didn't book us into this fantastic hotel to stay in bed all day."

I carefully opened a tired eye and just looked at her, putting every ounce of disbelief in my soul into that look.

"OK, so maybe you _did_ book us into this hotel to stay in bed all day," she said, pursing her lips in amusement, "I don't think you planned sleeping originally though did you?"

I closed my eye again and snuggled down into those wonderful pillows and found my brain turning off again. It was turned on once more by the feeling of warm breath and the faint smell of mint toothpaste and I opened my eyes to find the big brown pools of beauty that I know so well staring back at me from barely inches away.

"You want another half hour in bed babe?" she asked, not a hint of recrimination in that husky voice; just a simple question that deserved an honest answer.

"I think I need it hun, I really didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

Ems smiled at me, her nose wrinkling unconsciously at my morning breath which, judging by the taste in my overly dry mouth, isn't exactly smelling of mint and roses.

"Ok babe," she said leaning forward and kissing my forehead, "an extra half hour it is, and then we're taking a shower and heading out into the sun. I promise I'll treat you to a really good lunch, somewhere nice."

"Thanks Hun," I said more about the sleep than the lunch. I closed my eyes and snuggled down into my pillows once more. To my surprise Ems didn't leap off the bed, to go and do something somewhere else; instead she wrapped an arm around my waist and snuggled in closer to me. I could sense her eyes staring at me and smiled as the fog descended and sleep overtook me once more.

"Naomi...Naoms baby, it's time to get up."

Well at least this time it was a gentle kiss and not a bouncing body that woke me from my sleep; I opened my eyes to see those brown orbs pouring love into mine once more; it's a much nicer way to be woken.

"Good morning beautiful," I told her, leaning forward and kissing her on the forehead, forcing the sleep from my skull. "I love you."

I watched as Emily's already dark irises widened further and her broad grin brightened my day immeasurably.

"Love you too Naomi, but I'll love you more if you get out of bed this time."

I stretched my legs, pointing my toes towards the foot of the bed and pushing out all of the cramps and locks that had built up during my sleep.

"You look like you needed that babe," Ems said as I rolled my neck, wincing a little at the cracks.

"Yeah, I did. What time is it Ems?"

"Ten to twelve sweetheart, I decided to let you have a bit longer, you looked like you could do with it, you were well gone."

"You fell asleep as well," I accused grinning back at her.

"Might have, I can't help it if I like waking up with your arms around me."

"Rule six Ems?"

"Rule six Naoms. Now, get up you," she said whipping the covers off the bed and leaving me lying there naked.

"...you, me, shower...now!"

"Yes Dear."

o+o+o

_Katie_

Morning, the morning after the night before...well actually the morning after the early, early morning before in truth. I rolled over in the, rather less than comfortable, hotel bed and looked at the woman laying there next to me. I had the instant urge to reach out a hand and push the jumble of hair from out of her face, but I resisted it in order to let her sleep on in peace; after all it's the first time in days I'd seen her properly at rest.

I may be vacuous and shallow as Emily has repeatedly called me over the years, but I'm not stupid; and when _my_ sleep is disturbed by my girlfriends mutterings in _her_ sleep I know something's wrong. The question is, when she puts on a front that is so complete, so strong, how the hell do you ask her what's actually up with her?

I mean, how can you tell her you know something is wrong, when she's doing everything in her power to stop you knowing? It's a conundrum that I couldn't solve, I'm just happy that Emsy and Blondie brought it to a head last night so I could enjoy my time with her on my birthday.

"Stop thinking and go back to sleep Katie."

How the fuck does she even do that? Her eyes are closed, her breathing is normal and there's nothing to indicate that she's even awake. How the hell does she even know I'm laying her and looking at her?

Almost lazily a long arm appears from under the covers and delicately cradled my cheek, a fingernail scraping gently at my temple before she moved her hand and drew those perfectly manicured nails down my face. Perfectly manicured because I'd spent fucking ages filing and shaping them myself.

"Come here you," she ordered putting that hand behind my head and pulling slightly. Katie _fucking_ Fitch does not take orders from anyone, unless it's from someone that she loves that happens to be beautiful and brunette and wants her to cuddle.

Then it's ok; then she's happy to oblige.

I shuffled my way across the bed towards Effy and wrapped my free arm around her waist, loving it as her knee pressed against my legs and I got to wrap us together closer than we'd been curled up for days. We hadn't been separated physically, but the gulf that had existed between us had been immeasurably wide. I'm glad it's closed now, both physically and mentally. I _like_ being this close to her.

"Hey you," I said awkwardly, "I thought you were asleep."

"Dozing Kay, your snoring woke me up."

"I do _not_ snore," I said without even thinking about it. Emily had spent years accusing me of the same thing so my response was almost automatic.

"You do lover," she said chuckling, "but it's ok I don't mind, it lets me know you're still there."

Effy's arms stretched out as I snuggled into her warm flesh and we wrapped each other up, holding on for dear life.

"Eff?" I said, hoping to breach a conversation, hoping that it's not too early to reassure her; reassure myself.

"We're fine Kay, well I'm fine anyway."

"Are you honey? Really?"

Her hand left the back of my head and brushed the hair from her eyes and I was faced with those piercing baby blues.

"No Katie, not really; but I'm getting there ok?"

I stared back into those blue eyes and held them as she stared at me unblinkingly.

"You sure?" I asked as she nodded and smiled.

"I am, I'm getting there. Thanks Katie, thanks for being there."

"Eff, we chased Campbell over fucking Bristol after her freak out. You explained a lot of things to me then; I think I understand a little ok?"

"You're pissed at me though aren't you Kay?"

I burrowed my head into her shoulder and pressed my lips onto her skin, shaking my head as I did so.

"No, I'm not pissed E, I'm not pissed off at all; if I'm honest, I'm just a tiny bit disappointed that you didn't wake me on the plane and talk to me. You've bollocked Naomi often enough recently for not talking to Emsy, I thought you might live by your own advice."

I felt her lips press against the top of my head and her hand run itself down my spine, those nails scraping the skin in a most delightful, way as she did so.

I'm sorry Katie; it was all messed up, I know that. It's just...when you're all wrapped up in it, it's difficult to get your head out of it. I don't think you can understand until you go through it. I'm sure Naomi and even Emily would get it...I hope you never do babe."

I decided that the best answer would be to pull her into me, wrapping my arm around her lithe, almost skinny body and pulling her even closer. I felt a little shiver as her flesh pressed against mine and took a gentle nip at her skin.

"Stop that you," she told me, drowsiness blurring the sound of her normally clear voice. "Go back to sleep Kay, no biting."

"Only if we're ok Effy; 'cause if we're not, then I don't think I'll be able to sleep ever again."

"You soppy cow," she chuckled sleepily, "did I bring the wrong twin home with me last night? Where's the feisty, takes no shit Katie we all know and love?"

"She's still around baby, so don't piss me off ever again ok? If you do, I'll let her out of the box and she'll get all aggro on your ass."

I didn't get a reply, I pulled my head back from her shoulder to see her sleeping away, a faint smile on her partly open lips. She looked so fucking perfect lying there, so perfect it was fucking painful. That she'd try and tell me that she wasn't good enough for me was laughable, more than laughable; I'm the luckiest person I know.

_'See Emily, I still win!'_

With that thought in my head I burrowed me head back into her shoulder and allowed her rhythmic breathing send me back to sleep. It only occurred to me, as the thick purple cloak of slumber fell across my eyes, that she hadn't actually answered my question, not with words anyway.

Perhaps I've got a ways to go with my Effy yet.

o+o+o

_Emily_

Is it possible that you can actually never get bored of a place?

What I mean is, wherever you are, things become humdrum don't they? You move somewhere and what's all new and exciting becomes rapidly the norm, you get used to it and eventually, when it fails to excite you, it gets boring and you become terminally bored with it and it's time to move on.

Places are like people in that way, I think the same rules apply there as well, when people fail to excite you in some way, then they become boring as well and it's time to move on from them too.

I guess I'm really lucky, because I'm wondering if this little beach haven that we've found will ever become boring, Naomi and I must have walked up and down it over and over again in the last week or so and yet nothing about it is getting old. Each time we walk down it we see something new; each time we walk down it I feel like it's the first time I'm doing it.

It's just like nothing about her gets old either; she still has the capacity to thrill and inspire me, still has the ability to amaze and enthral me as well. This time it's not about the secrets and the presents and the surprises for my birthday; this time it's about how much she cares about others, and not only me. How big her capacity to love people actually is.

People think Naomi's cold, think she's a total bitch; but she isn't, not by a long way. Naomi has a huge heart, but she doesn't share it often or easily. JJ once told me that I love too much, that I love _everyone_ too much and I give so much of myself away there's often nothing left for myself. Naomi's the same, but she does it differently; JJ meant that I love everyone I meet, he meant it in the sense that I'm too damned trusting, that I'll do anything for anyone; that I'm a _"nice person."_

Naoms will do anything for anyone she cares about, it just takes her a lot of effort to get her to allow herself to care; a huge amount of effort in fact, from both parties.

I spent ages sneaking in under her defences, trying to get close to her; desperately trying to allow her to understand that I was there, I wasn't going away and that I cared and was worth the effort of caring back. I'm one of a select few people that can count themselves blessed to be cared about by Naomi Campbell, a select group I can count on the fingers of one hand and not have to use the thumb; there's me, Gina of course, Cook and Effy. I think Katie is on the fringes of that, but mainly because of me and Effy. I'm proud to be one of that bunch, I hope Effy realises how lucky she is; something tells me she does.

I didn't read all of Naomi's letter to Effy this morning, but I did get a gist of it from the words on the last sheet, the one that was on top as I tried to wake her to come to bed. I did read the last two rules she wrote and the comment to Effy; I knew from that what she was doing. Trying to put a line under the whole evenings drama and setting up an agreement that they could both follow for the future, to keep them both safe. I remembered Gina saying that she needs reasons to do things, I suspect it's her logical mind needing structure; needing those rules to give her something to hold onto. Part of me does wonder what the other three rules were, but I'm not going looking. She wanted to note to be between her and Effy and I'll leave it at that; she's never tried to read anything I've wrote to anyone else so I'm not going to start doing the same.

There's casual interest and there's betrayal of trust and that's a line I, for one, am not going to cross.

There are a few lines that I saw that have made me curious though. I read her line about being scared and jealous and paranoid and it being part of her nature; I mean I know all about that I really do. I know just how hard she's trying as well, and I really want to be able to tell her how happy I am that she wants it to change; and that she wants it to change for me. I know it's going to take time, I know because we've talked and I understand.

I can give her time all the time in the world as long as she talks to me about it; cures my own doubts.

She wrote about there being times when her emotions will overcome that huge logical head of hers, and I know she sees that as a negative. My Naomi relies a lot on her logic, on her ability to be calm and collected and organised, to collect her thoughts and make rational, logical decisions; she honestly believes she's a creature of logic. She's not though, she's an emotional being no matter how much she tries to deny it. Everything she's done since the first day I've known her, and I mean _really_ known her; has been based upon her emotional reactions to circumstances both past and present, _everything_ has been based on how she feels.

Personally I think it's beautiful, I think it's a wonderful thing to be able to just feel like that; I know JJ would have given his right arm to be able to remove that brain of his and simply feel more often. Sometimes though she lets it get away from her and that's not beautiful; because she can't accept her feelings, because she doesn't want to acknowledge them, she falls further and further into the torment of her mind and does things that are stupid to those looking in, but perfectly rational to her.

She's an emotional creature trapped in a logical parcel; the trouble is sometimes the parcel can't hold it back.

I can see she's trying to help both herself and Effy with this letter, I can see that she wants her friend to get things sorted and move on. She's tried talking, she's tried being there for her; so that letter I saw is obviously the logical Naomi trying to provide support and structure and a plan of how to move on. It's quite sweet really, like her incessant list making before we left to come here; she wants the logic to surround the emotion, thinks that's what Effy needs as well.

I'm not sure she's right, I'm not sure Effy is like her in that regard, but if it works I'll be as happy as she will be. Anything to keep Katie smiling, she hasn't really smiled enough over the last few months; and because, or perhaps despite the fact that, she's my big sister, she deserves to smile.

I can't tell Naomi any of this of course, I can't tell her that I hope that her plan works; I'm even regretting mentioning rule fucking six, this morning because she's as likely to burn that letter now as she is to give it to Effy. I like rule six though, rule six will make me a very happy Emily; happier than I am now. Laying here on a tatty old brown blanket complete with scorch marks and grass stains, on a white sandy beach in India with the woman I love; soaking up the sun.

"Ems?"

My thoughts are brought into sharp relief at the sound of her voice. To be honest I've not been paying her much attention for the last half hour because I thought she was asleep; that she'd dozed off after I'd covered her in factor 25 to protect that wonderful skin.

"Naoms?" I said by way of reply.

"This is good isn't it, all this?"

I reached out my arm, putting my hand on hers and slipping my fingertips in between her own.

"Yeah babe, it's good; it's all better than good."

"That's ok then." With one slight squeeze she was silent again and we lost ourselves in our thoughts once more.

o+o+o

An hour later and I'm on my own again, forsaking the offer of a swim for a chance to write another set of letters that are preying on my mind. I have a flashback to the start of this holiday, sitting on this very blanket and writing another note, what a week this has been. It seems so long ago I was sat here writing; I can't believe that it's nearly time to move on, but India and indeed the world is a big place and we're not going to see much of it sitting on this beach.

As much as I'd like to.

So Naomi's abandoned me for the lure of the water once more and I'm left with my pen, a hotel notepad and my plans. I'm writing one letter home, well one letter to each of my homes in truth. One will be easy and one will be hard. One to explain my fears and one to explain something totally different. things that have to be said and I think can only be said right here, right now, in this way.

Pausing only to grab said writing equipment from the ever present stuff sack I began, once more to write down my thoughts.

_'Hi folks,_

_Dad; wanted to drop you a letter to tell you how perfect the last few days have been. I know we spoke about it but this has been the best birthday of my life. After our phone call Naomi had even more surprises for me, I got the afternoon in a luxury spa here at the hotel, I got a really fancy meal here as well; but most of all, as you probably know I got to see Katie._

_Somehow, Naomi and Effy managed to get us together on our birthday and it's perfect. If you knew I'll never forgive you for keeping it a secret Dad, we don't have any secrets remember?_

_Thanks for calling, especially from work. You don't know what it meant for me to hear your voice yesterday, to know that you were thinking of me on my birthday._

_Love you Dad, miss you loads._

_James; hope things are well with you, hope you've settled into the new house and everything is ok. Hope you're enjoying the present I left you._

_Do me a favour squirt, leave your sister alone. I know you and that idiot MacPherson will be planning something around visiting her new home...so stop it now or I won't bring you anything back from our trip._

_Love you too, don't miss you that much though you little pervert! (-:_

_Mum__Jenna__ whatever you think you are to me today._

_I don't really know why I'm writing this part; I guess you'll want to rip this up as soon as read it but I want you to understand something, because you said you'd try to understand, try to change._

_I'm here with the people I love the most in this world and I'm totally happy. Naomi has been fucking wonderful for my birthday, posh hotel, expensive presents, pampering and most of all, the bit you'll probably never really get is that she's been there for __me__ and me __alone__ the whole time. Everything she's done has been done for me. Not for me _and_ Katie, not just to make Katie happy, like our eleventh birthday party and definitely not to make the neighbours jealous like our eighth, (yes I did hear you talking to Mrs Eaton in the kitchen). She's done __everything__ just for me, Emily Fitch and I'll not forget this day as long as I live, because it's been my day...MY perfect day. _

_Then, just when I thought it couldn't get any better, Effy made it possible for Katie to be here to make my birthday complete; and I'm happier now, right here in India, than at any other time in my life._

_I want you to understand that because perhaps you need a starting point to work your own shit out. You need to understand that both Katie and I have found people that love us and want to do all that they can to make us happy. Isn't that what you're supposed to want for us, for all of us?_

_I want you to know this though, I'm not coming home, whatever happens with me and Naomi. I've found myself over the last few years and, despite a few hiccups, I like who I've found._

_I hope one day you'll get to know the person that I've discovered hiding under Katie's and your shadow. Perhaps you might even come to like her as well; then perhaps we can be mother and daughter again._

_Do let me know when you want to move forward._

_Anyway...I hope when you get this that Bristol is treating you all well and I'll try and remember to write again soon, we're moving on the day after tomorrow so I'm not sure when that will be; but I'll try and update you as to where we are and where we're going._

_Love_

_Emily'_

I signed off the note with a little heart and a smiley and ripped the pages from the pad, folding them carefully and tucking them away in one of the envelopes I'd brought with me from the writing desk in our room. I wasn't sure what I was going to write in that letter, but there was no going back now, I had to be brave.

I knew I needed to send a letter home, I have been avoiding it for ages; but I also knew I couldn't ignore _her_ in it and didn't know what to write to her; until now that is. Waking up this morning and realising Naomi wasn't there made me realise what I wanted to tell my mum. I don't miss her, not one bit but the lack of Naomi's presence hurts me in every way possible.

Naomi knows and accepts me in a way my mum never did. She knows that as well as the expensive presents a heartfelt note will make me happy. Knows that making sure Katie is happy is important to me and knows that what we have is utterly special. I don't need to go home anymore, wherever we are is home; well it is to me, I need Jenna to know that, until she understands we won't be able to move on.

Finally having it all written down makes me feel better, clearer in my head and I think I can face writing more letters to them in the future.

Writing the new address of the house that dad had given me onto the creamy envelope I tucked the letter away, promising myself that I'd continue being brave and post it later. Done, I looked out at the water to see a familiar blonde head pop up far from the beach. I raised a hand to wave almost without thinking. I wasn't expecting a response, thinking she was too far away to see me; so I was surprised and pleased when an arm came out of the water and waved back, before the blonde head vanished as she ducked underwater once more.

Without even considering it I started writing in the notepad once more, knowing exactly what to say to the next reader, knowing exactly what I needed to get across.

_'Hi Mum,_

_Just wanted you to know that you've raised a perfect daughter, well perfect to me anyway. She's been so brilliant over the last few days, you'd be proud of her. Not because of me and my birthday, but because she's been trying to keep me happy and sort out a minor little problem between Katie and Effy._

_I need a favour mum, I need you and Kieran to keep an eye on them while I'm away and let me know if there are any problems. I think I'm right in saying that you're quite fond of the pair of them, and they've been through so much recently they need someone to be there for them. Naomi always tells me that you're good at looking after waifs and strays and at the moment that's what I think those two are. _

_Neither of them have got anyone to turn to anymore and it worries me that they haven't. It would make me feel a lot better if they had one of the nicest mum's I've ever known making sure they don't mess up their lives when they're on the brink of being really happy._

_Please?_

_I'll look after Naomi if you'll look after Katie and Effy (-;_

_I'll also make sure Nai keeps in touch with you, we both know what she's like; so bloody focussed on the moment she forgets about the important things like family. I promise I won't let her forget._

_Love you mum, and thanks for everything - especially her_

_Ems'_

I finished writing, folded the letter and tucked it away not a moment too soon; as the girl in question comes walking up the beach towards me once more stripping the water from her hair as she does so.

She is so fucking sexy it makes my mouth dry up completely and I had to reach for the water bottle in order to speak.

"Good swim?" I asked croaking away casually as she stepped into earshot, trying to keep the desire from my voice.

"Brilliant, you could see the fish in the shallows when you dive under; I'd not noticed them before."

I tossed her a towel and watched as she dried herself.

"So Ems, what's the plan for the day then? We've done lunch, we've done sunbathing and I've done swimming, what's next?"

"Well," I replied trying not to sound like I had everything planned out already. "I thought we could meet Katie and Effy at their hotel and have a drink with them."

"and they'll just happen to be there waiting for us will they?" she replied from under the towel, the amusement in her voice muffled slightly as she dried her hair.

"I might have suggested that we'd meet about three-ish." I replied, only to have a towel thrown at me. It covered my head and, momentarily distracted, I was easy prey for the blonde who had dropped to the sand and pinned me to the blanket; the towel being ripped from my face to reveal piercing blue eyes staring down at me.

"You're so bloody sneaky," she told me, kissing me at every word. "I thought we'd have most of the day to ourselves."

"If it's a problem then..." I started, only to have a salty wet finger press itself to my lips.

"I'm only teasing Ems, it's ok. It'll be nice to make sure they're ok after last night's beach party."

It would be as well, I think they're sorted, they looked like they were sorted; but it will be nice to confirm it, make sure that they're good. If our discussions over lunch go to plan we're on a train tomorrow night; checking out of the Marriott and taking the night train up to Mumbai for a short stopover and then onto New Delhi for the next leg of our little adventure. I think we both need a bit of Katie and Effy closure so we can enjoy it without worrying about them; I know I do.

I gave the blonde that's currently nuzzling my neck a light shove, I'd much prefer her to continue what she's doing, but if we're going to meet the others we're going to need to get a move on. It's a bit of a walk down the beach to where they were staying and the sooner we make a move, the sooner we're there.

Happily Naomi took the hint and rolled off me, grabbing the towel once more and drying herself off properly. I slipped on my light beach clothes, covering my bikini, and then began packing away our things into my stuff sack. Absently I passed Naomi my folding travel brush and cringed as I heard her drag the plastic bristles through her salt matted hair. I made a careful note to get her under the shower again tonight and spend a lot of time on her hair. She doesn't treat it very well a lot of the time and it sounds like a wash with lots of soap, followed by conditioner and a careful brushing is certainly in order.

It's hardly a chore doing that for her, I do like playing with her hair; I'm so glad she grew it out again.

With a gentle nudge Naoms passed back my brush and flung the towel around her shoulders. She had her beach clothes in my bag as well, a light shirt and the sarong I'd bought her from one of the shops when we'd arrived. She didn't like wearing them over her wet swimsuit though and probably planned for everything to dry as we walked down the beach.

I have to wonder if she knows what seeing her in that small bikini does to me though, I've loved looking at her like that since Panda's party all those decades ago; well it feels like decades, so much has happened in the meantime. She told me once that I was perving, on something vaguely similar to a beach, on a day considerably colder than today, she was right, I was..I am; and what's more I'm going to continue to do so.

The day I stop wanting to 'perv' at my girlfriend is the day I'll know it's all over; and I can't see that day coming, ever.

With a grin and a wink, as she spotted my look, Naomi held out her hand and we walked down the beach towards our old hotel together.

o+o+o

Typically there was no sign of Katie or Effy at their hotel and I left, a now dressed, Naomi to ask for them at reception whilst I did a quick tour of the bar and restaurant area again.

"They're not here," she told me when finally we caught up.

"What?" I asked, not believing that Katie would be this fucking ignorant. Before I could go on a rant about things Naomi handed me a note.

"She left this at reception for us, don't get angry."

I can only guess that this is an explanation letter and things are ok, if Naomi's telling me not to get angry it must be fine. I have no doubt that is the 'toxic twin' as she calls Katie had been as ignorant as I think she's been; well, Naomi would be blowing her top right about now as well.

I took the paper and read Katie's overly flowery and elaborate handwriting.

_'Ems, _

_If you get this I'm sorry we're not back yet. Eff and I have popped out for a bit of shopping and something to eat, but we're running a bit late after last night. Everything's fine and we'll be there as soon as we can be. Have a drink and relax - don't be mad...we're all supposed to be on holiday and Eff and I need a bit more 'us' time ok?_

_Katie'_

I feel a bit better at her note, and decide to take those words to heart. I dragged my girl towards that familiar bar and ordered two glasses of something exotic to pass the time. It wasn't too long before I saw the familiar face of my sister wandering into the bar, the taller figure of her girlfriend lagging slightly behind.

They looked happy, but then I'd thought that yesterday as well.

I watched Naomi carefully as we greeted each other and caught a wink and the faintest of nods from her after Effy had kissed her hello's; it's enough for me. If Naomi thinks things are ok then I can relax, I'll talk to Katie again before we leave just to make sure; but for now, it's all good.

As my sister waved over a member of staff and ordered a round of drinks I couldn't help grinning at the bags that were piled around her chair.

"So Effy brings you half way around the world and you go shopping Katie, that's really sad you know? You have the most romantic beach I know on your doorstep and you go out buying stuff."

"Yeah, well it's good stuff and I'm going to look totally authentic when I start Uni."

"Authentic?" I couldn't help asking, knowing I'll probably regret it. Katie's explanations for justifying her purchasing decisions are usually so complex you can't find the flaws, even though you know they're there.

"Katie wanted some accessories that proved she'd been to India," Effy interrupted us both. "She wanted to make sure no-one was in any doubt her tan was genuine."

"Damn right," Katie replied, smiling and holding Effy's hand. "I want everyone to know it's true, and be pig sick, when I tell them what my girlfriend did for me on my birthday; and if I have to buy a few things to elaborate with then all the better. It's not as if clothes and stuff are massively expensive over here, and the material is fantastic, the things I could do with some of that..."

I tuned out a little as Katie went into fashionista mode, regaling us with how certain materials would totally work as dresses, shirts and scarves. It's funny how fashion's loss could well end up as nursing's gain. She's a scary bitch my sister, but she'll be a great nurse; she'll be a great anything she wants to be actually, she's like that.

I felt a light nudge from Naomi and looked across to see Kay staring at me, a flash of anger in her eyes.

"What?" I asked her, the usual challenge in my voice.

"Were you listening to a word I was saying?"

"Not really Kay, I was thinking about you becoming a nurse if you must know."

Effy and Naomi shared a look before collapsing in laughter, leaving me and Katie to look at them in disgust.

"God's sake, you two are like little kids sometimes," Katie told them. "You're both supposed to be grown up. Which reminds me!"

Katie took a sip from her drink and got up, grabbing her bags as she stood. "I'll be right back, got to get something from the room."

We watched as she swaggered off, the bags banging at her legs as she carried far too many of them for one person to manage comfortably towards the stairs.

"She's come a long way," Effy said as she drifted out of sight.

"She has," I agreed, "still got a ways to go though. You two ok?"

"We're fine Emily, thanks to you and this one here," she told me squeezing Naomi's knee.

"Oi, hands off my girl Stonem," I joked resulting in a grin from the brunette.

"I owe you two, we had a bit of a chat last night, on the way home and here in the hotel. I've got my head out of my arse for now, thanks to you guys. Katie's given me a bit of a slap and told me what's what."

"Good," I replied matching Naomi causing us both to smile.

"But you don't owe me anything Eff, call it a down payment on what I owe you for saving my life, both parts of it."

Eff squeezed Naomi's leg again and muttered something I couldn't hear from my chair. I'm not bothered either, I don't need to hear it to know it's good; I can see that in both of their body language, can see it in the smiles on their faces. Not for the first time I'm glad that Naomi has Effy and vice versa, they're good for each other, they fit.

"Get your filthy hands off my girl Campbell."

We all looked up to see Katie stood by the table with yet _another_ bag in her hands and a wide grin on her face.

"Like I'd want anything _you've_ touched Katiekins," Naomi fired back with a smile, her tongue firmly placed in her cheek.

"Thanks Naomi!" Effy interjected into their fake little row, "I love you too."

"Sorry mate," Naomi apologised picking up her drink to hide the stupid grin that had fallen over her face.

"So you should be Campbell, and after I brought you this all the way from England."

She pulled a neatly wrapped package from out of the bag and placed it on the table. Naomi just stared at it as if it were an alien.

"What's this?" she asked slowly, her face ashen.

"It's your birthday present from Effy and me. We won't be together then 'cause we'll be back in the UK studying and shit, but I thought you could have this and open it now or save it until your birthday whatever you want to do really."

I noticed that Effy was looking at Katie with disbelief in her eyes, I assume this is the first she's heard of this present. She looks as shocked as I feel, but not nearly as shocked as Naomi is looking. All trace of happiness has fallen from her face and her eyes look dead as she just sits there and stares at the box that Katie's placed on the table.

I know something is wrong, knew it from the moment I watched the colour drain from her cheeks when she saw the colourfully wrapped box come out of the bag.

"So Naomikins is nineteen on the 16th of September," Katie continued to prattle away, seemingly oblivious to the trauma she'd just initiated. "How does it feel to know you're dating the older woman Ems?"

I moved my chair closer to Naomi's but it was no good, the damage had already been done. She looked across at me as I reached out a hand and her eyes were filled with unshed tears. The look she gave me was one of pain, and betrayal and as our eyes met I knew that there was only one outcome, only one thing that was going to happen; and seconds later I was proven right.

With a sniff Naomi got up from the table, paused only to surprise me by kissing me once on the head and mutter a quick apology before she did the one thing she always did when emotion triumphed over logic...

...she ran.

.

.

.

**A/N -** Yeah I know, I know...you saw it coming.

Yes, I'll update soon yes, probably next weekend if all goes well. Don't hate me in the meantime at least there's fluffiness in CP to read at the moment.

Yes, I'm still ill so any and all mistakes are a result of this chest infection that won't go away; that and the fact that I can't drink now I'm on antibiotics so my creativity will probably drop off without Jack's help (-;

Anyway, in story terms I'm nearly back on track now...I can begin to get this tale back to its original premise in a bit, only another chapter to go then it's back to normal after this little, (detail focussed), interlude.

See you soon.

Es


	12. My Most Favourite Things In The World

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer –** I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent, despite what people tell me.

Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame).

**Authors Note **– Well at least I didn't get a total kicking for that last chapter, come on guys you knew she was going to run at some point didn't you. All totally necessary though. Here's what _was_ the other part of that chapter, but had to be split for artistic, dramatic and size purposes.

Hope you enjoy it, those of you that are still here (-:

**Chapter 12 - My Most Favourite Things In The World**

_Naomi_

Rule number three, Rule number _fucking_ three.

It's barely twelve hours since I wrote that rule down and I still can't fucking follow it, one fucking present, one mention of my birthday and I ran.

I'm not proud of it; I tried to let Emily know I was sorry but I had to get out of there, had to get away.

I just had to find some peace and quiet...I hope she understands.

o+o+o

_Emily_

I sat and watched in stunned silence as Naomi fled the scene, the touch from her lips still burning my head, the words she said still ringing in my ears.

_"I'm sorry hun, I can't be here."_

Seven words, that's all she said to me, and yet she gave me an hour long speech with her eyes.

"What the fuck was that about?"

My sister, the fucking genius, is sat in her chair looking bemused; Effy is looking at her in dismay.

"I could ask you the same thing Kay," Effy said, silencing my planned outburst with a look.

"What? I bought her a present for her birthday, I thought it would be nice. She picked up the box from the table and stuffed it back into the bag grumpily. "I thought it would be funny if she opened it in front of us…." She trailed off as Effy and I stared at her, she looked down at the table. "It was only a bit of fun," she defended herself sounding a bit upset, "I thought it would be nice," she repeated, sounding defeated by our looks.

My rage began to evaporate at her words, for once I realised she wasn't being a bitch, she genuinely wanted to do something nice and didn't know what Naomi was like with birthdays. Or at least that's what I thought.

"Katie, Gina told us Naomi doesn't do birthdays," Effy said looking across at her, "what were you thinking of?"

"You knew?" I snapped at her, my anger well and truly back with a vengeance, "you fucking knew and still you did it, fucks sake Katie are you really that fucking stupid. Jesus fucking Christ, I thought you'd fucking changed, but you're still the same callous little bitch at heart aren't you?"

"I didn't think she meant it like that," she shouted back at me. "I didn't think Naomi would freak out about it. I thought she meant she was just embarrassed by the attention."

"Fucks sake," I said standing and downing my drink. "I'll talk to you later."

I stormed out of the bar leaving the two of them behind. I heard Katie defend herself to Effy as I left, but I was in no mood to discuss it with her, I needed to find Naomi, and fast.

I looked up and down the street outside the hotel before running through the compound and down to the beach. There was no sign of her there either; as Katie had once so eloquently put it, she's like smoke when she wants to be and I'm already worried.

Dashing back into the hotel, I asked the receptionist to call me a cab and stood outside waiting for it to arrive. As I waited and fretted I felt someone walk up to me and turned, hoping that it was Naomi come back; to my dismay it wasn't, it was only Effy.

"Katie didn't mean anything by it you know, she just thought she was being funny."

"She's an idiot."

"That's probably true as well, but then we've all been idiots haven't we? She doesn't know Naomi as well as you do Emily, you can't hold that against her."

"But you said she _knew_ Eff," I barked, looking at the watch Naomi had bought me last birthday; willing the cab to hurry the fuck up. "You said Gina told her."

"She did," Effy said putting an arm around my shoulder, "but you know Katie, she didn't realise what Gina meant. She just said that Naomi doesn't like a fuss, that's not the same thing as saying that she'll freak out at the mere mention of it. If you want to blame someone, blame me I should have warned her."

"You? Why you?"

"Because Naomi told me about how she felt about birthdays when she told me about what she was planning for yours...she didn't tell me why, before you ask," she said as I went to ask that very question, "but I should have known Katie was up to something and if I'd had my head out of my arse for the last few days I would have noticed."

Se squeezed my shoulders tightly and placed her head on mine. "She's really sorry Emily, I am too."

Mollified slightly I turned around and gave her a hug, "It's ok Eff I understand. I'm just worried that's all, I don't blame either of you; tell Katie that for me ok? I just have to find her now before she does something stupid again."

"Don't be worried, she probably just wants a little space Emily, it'll be ok."

"Will it Eff? Last time she wanted space she fucked off to London and drank herself under a bar. We're in a foreign country thousands of miles from home. She can't just call me up when she gets on a bus to fuck knows where because she's upset."

"She won't have done that," Effy said reassuringly, her hand stroking my hair. "You'll have to trust me on that, I don't think she'd want to worry you like that again. She'll have gone somewhere familiar; what did she say when she kissed you, I couldn't hear her?"

"She said 'sorry' and that she 'couldn't be here'."

Effy smiled. "See? There you go, there's the big difference. She's not angry at you, she's just a bit upset and needs some space. She's probably back at the hotel by now and is lying on the bed hoping that you'll come and make everything all right in that stupid head of hers. Look, here's your cab," she said gesturing at the three wheeler that had pulled in front of the hotel. "Go, find her and sort her out! Tell here we're sorry."

I jumped into the back shoving my bag on the seat next to me and told the driver to take me back to the Marriott; it was probably the most hair raising journey of my life, much worse than the trip from the airport, much worse than that trip in Kieran's old banger. This time I don't have Naomi to hang onto and I'm sliding around as the driver channels Jenson fucking Button in order to get me there in the shortest possible time.

In hindsight, telling him it was an 'emergency' and to 'step on it' was probably a mistake.

Eventually I got back to the hotel, I'm feeling battered and bruised but otherwise alive and well. I shoved a bundle of notes into the driver's hand and ran through the lobby, past reception and up to our room. There was no sign of Naomi, but then there wouldn't be. She couldn't have got here in the same amount of time, no matter how much of a head start she might have had over me; no matter how fast those long legs of hers will carry her when she's annoyed or upset.

Hurriedly I scribbled a note and left it on the pillows in case we missed each other and I ran downstairs to wait for her; flitting back and forth between reception and the outside patio until I'm sure the staff must have thought me insane.

After an hour and a half though, I'm sure she's not coming back...and I'm beyond worried, I'm terrified; I'm totally fucking shitting myself.

With trembling hands I used the hotel phone to call our old hotel, asking the receptionist for Katie and Effy's room. Finally I heard a click and Effy's voice come over the receiver.

"Hello? Naomi is that you?"

"No it's me Eff, I take it she's not come back to your hotel then."

"Jesus Emily, no we've not seen her, we would have called if we had. I thought she was with you back at your hotel by now."

"I've not seen hide nor hair of her Eff, I'm really fucking scared now, where the fuck could she be?"

"Calm down Emily, she'll be fine...Now think, where would she go? Where would she go that's special to you or her since you've been here? Is there any kind of special place, or somewhere with meaning for you both around here? A bar, or a restaurant of something? Where did you guys go before we arrived?"

It's like a light has switched on in my head at her words, I know where she is, or where she's likely to have gone. I've always fucking known and if I'd have turned my head on instead of panicking as usual then I could have been with her hours ago.

I hung up the phone without answering, hoping Effy would understand and quickly I dumped the contents of my bag onto our bed; grabbing some essentials, discarding sunscreen and towels and stuffing in a couple of jumpers and our flats. Night was drawing in and it could get chilly on our beach if the wind was right and Naomi was barely wearing anything but a swimsuit and her linens.

I practically ran down the beach from the hotel, taking our usual route just in case she _had_ decided to come home. I stopped at every place we'd been to on the way, but really I was only ever heading to one spot. One little oasis set back from the beach and sheltered by trees and bushes, a place where I just _know_ she'll be, it's close to our old hotel, it has meaning and it _should_ have been the first place I thought of.

I'm right as well; as I walked into our beachside campsite of only days before she's sat there, back to a tree, eyes closed and a bottle of something kicked over by her feet. Her eyes look red and raw and there are tracks of sand encrusted tears running down her cheeks.

"Naoms," I called out softly, "baby are you all right?"

There was no response from her, not a sign that she'd heard me; so I dropped my bag next to her and knelt down to brush the sand from her face.

"Naomi babe, are you ok?"

Her eyes opened and I was met, not with the unfocused gaze of a drunk; but with the clear blue eyes that I know and love. Tired eyes, ringed with red and still tinged with sadness.

"Hey you," I said greeting her look, "you had me worried there, for a bit."

"Sorry Ems, I'm a twat I know. What time is it?"

"Half past six babe, you've been gone for hours."

She sat upright with a jolt and looked around at the sky as if trying to prove me wrong. The sun was low in the sky, but dusk was a ways off yet and there was nothing to prove or disprove my words, I held out my wrist so she could look at my watch and, resigned to the truth, she slumped back against her tree. I slid myself around to join her.

"How are you feeling Naoms?" I asked, not really expecting a reply.

"Like shit actually, I've fucked up again haven't I?"

"Not with me babe," I told her, trying to sound reassuring and linking my arm with hers as we sat. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really, not sober anyway."

I saw her plan in its full detail right there and then, like the gods had opened up her mind to me for one brief, all to elusive second. She'd ran because she was hurt and scared, but this time she'd ran to somewhere she thought I'd know to come, she'd bought a bottle of booze at some point to give her the courage to talk but she obviously hadn't touched it. Honouring our "deal" from the lake, the one she's only broken once to my knowledge, the last time she'd ran; ran away from me.

"Do you want to talk about it drunk?" I asked her, she shook her head at that as well.

"I don't want to talk about it at all if I can Ems, but I think I should. You deserve that after today."

"I don't _deserve_ anything Naomi, if you _want_ to tell me then feel free; I'm here for you, of course I am. But don't feel like you _have_ to tell me anything, we had this discussion last year. I promised I wouldn't go digging about your birthday and I won't if you don't want me to. This is what this is all about isn't it?

She sighed, nodded and picked up the wicker covered bottle pulling out the cork. "Dutch courage," she said and took a swig, grimacing slightly before passing it to me. I took a mouthful of the fiery local spirit they call 'fenny' and almost gagged at the taste. This wasn't the delicate coconut drink we'd tried and enjoyed with a mixer on our first days here.

I looked down at the bottle, cashew fenny, cashew _flaming_ fenny_..._Jesus, I can't think of much worse...well apart from JJ's Dad's home brew. Fruity and nutty at the same time...no thanks, not my cup of tea!

"Vile isn't it," Naomi said watching my face. "It was all I could afford, my purse was in your bag and I only had a few notes in my shirt pocket."

I took another swig and swallowed carefully, "it grows on you," I told her; which isn't that big a lie. It's not something I'd pay money to drink though...exactly like JJ's home brew. She took a long swig on the disgusting liquor and coughed as it, no doubt, burnt the back of her throat as it had just done mine.

"Do you remember the Sixteenth of September last year Ems?" She asked staring out, through the bushes that hid our grove from prying eyes, towards the water. I don't, I don't remember it at all; nothing special about it anyway. I guess it had been just another day as far as I was concerned. I shook my head and told her the same thing.

"It was funny really, we'd actually had a bit of a row about my birthday. If you remember you'd been bugging me to tell you when my birthday was ever since you turned seventeen and you lost your temper with me and stormed off, leaving me in Keith's with Cook."

"I remember, you seemed intent on drinking him under the table and you weren't being very nice to me."

"Well, that was my eighteenth birthday, you, me and Cook; and all I could do on my fucking birthday was snap at you because you wanted to know when it was."

I remember it clearly now; it hadn't been a good chapter in our relationship that time, I'd been upset that she wouldn't share her birthday with me and I'd been more than a bit demanding. Even Panda thought I was being a bit off when I told her and JJ about Naomi's stubbornness; when Panda tells you off you know you've been a real twat, she never normally finds fault with anything.

I'd apologised to Naomi the next time I saw her and that's when she told me about her big thing about birthdays; about how much she hated them and never celebrated them. I remember everything, I remember that it took me two days to get to apologise to her as well. I didn't see her in college and she hadn't been answering my calls; in desperation I'd gone hunting for the idiot she called a friend, hoping that he'd know what was going on. When I finally found him, Cook had told me that she had got pretty wasted when I asked him where she was. With his cheery fucking grin slapped all over his face he'd told me that they'd gone on a real bender after I left them, drink and drugs, the whole nine yards. With that little bit of news I had just put her absence down to the usual things, having a hangover, still being annoyed at me and wanting a sulk; you know, generally being Naomi. Now it looks like it was a lot more complicated than I thought, it looks like I may have monumentally fucked up back then without even knowing it.

"Were you trying to celebrate your birthday then babe?" I asked her, one more lightning bolt from the gods to aid my stupid brain. "With me and Cook? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Sort of," she answered, carefully ignoring my last question. "I thought having a few drinks with you and Cook might make it better, but then _we_ started arguing again and _I_ started drinking with Cook and _nothing ever fucking changes!"_

She cried the last out into the night with a voice of anger and anguish I'd never heard issue from her mouth and I sincerely hope I never hear again. Even through the dark times she'd never sounded so utterly broken, so heartbreakingly in pain.

I went to put my arms around her but she was already up and moving, the bottle in her hand pointed towards the sky, her throat pulsing as she chugged down the liquid. I sat on the sand, my back against the tree and waited for her to continue.

"Nothing ever changes Ems; not ever. I thought that I could try and enjoy my eighteenth birthday with my girlfriend and my mate and if I didn't say anything about it then it would be ok, but it wasn't; it fucking wasn't ok was it? It's never fucking ok."

"Babe…"

She lowered herself to the sand with her back to me, and wrapped her arms around her knees, her shoulders shaking as she cried. I'm momentarily lost, having no idea what to do. I've seen her hurt before, I've seen her cry, the last time I saw her in this much pain though I walked right past her because I didn't give a shit; I was in too much pain of my own to care. Even that time at the lake, the time after that first visit to Cook, she didn't seem this broken inside. It's like Katie's present has unlocked a door behind which a lot of stuff has been hiding, and it's all come rushing out like the contents of an overfilled cupboard.

"I fucking hate having a birthday Ems, I fucking hate everything about it. Every fucking time I try to do something normal; have a party, celebrate in some fucking way, something goes fucking wrong and it leaves me worse off than I was before...every fucking time. Fuck Katie and her bastard present, why can't people just leave me alone."

I got up and walked across the small grove towards her, standing to the side of her seated figure and pulling her head into me. Standing and stroking her long blonde hair, absently noticing for the first time the dark roots creeping in, muttering words of comfort as she sobbed into the hem of my shirt.

I don't know what to do, apart from just be there for her. She said she didn't want to talk, but I get the feeling that if the floodgates open then everything will start coming out. I desperately want to push open those gates, allow her to vent and explain and allow me to be there for her; but I can't, it's not my role I know that. My role is to be here for her and give her the strength her to push open those gates herself. To give her the courage to _want_ to do it, to _want_ to share things with me. If she is going to tell me about it, then it'll have to be her decision. I'm not going to force her to do things she doesn't want to do, I learnt that lesson last year.

So instead of speaking, I wrapped her up in my arms and held her, stroked her, loved her. It's the simplest thing in the world to do, yet the one thing that so many people simply forget to do.

and too many times in the past, it's something that I've forgotten to do as well, but not today.

"It's ok babe, it's all ok."

I felt her pull away as I spewed my platitudes, the meaningless statements that are supposed to comfort. I know it's _not_ ok so why did I say it?

Because, I suppose, it's what you do; because it's what you want. You simply _want_ it to be ok.

I looked down at Naomi as she stared up at me, tears rolling down her face. I took my sleeve and brushed away the sand before sliding down her body and sitting down beside her, facing towards her, my hip against her thigh, so I could sit and look at her; stare into those beautiful blue eyes and show her I cared in every way I know. Sliding my arms around her once more I wrapped her up in my love.

"It took me until after my eighth birthday party to convince mum not to do anything for me again you know?" she said abruptly, causing me to nod. "I never told you why though did I? Did mum ever tell you?"

I shook my head sadly, she never had explained herself to me, though I guess going off at her about her birthday that time wouldn't have endeared me to her as a sympathetic listener; one more mistake, one more contribution I'd made to the mess we'd both created and were still trying to fix. Gina had never told me about it either, I'm not one hundred percent sure she even knows, despite Naomi's question.

"I told you about that day when mum told me that my dad was never coming home, that he'd never wanted anything to do with me?"

"You did babe, you said you were five, five or six."

"Yeah, well I was a bit upset by it all, as you can imagine; it was a bit of a shock. See I'd had this idea in my head that my dad was some kind of roving hero, travelling the world righting wrongs. Don't ask me why, I blame mum because that's all she ever talked about when I was growing up and I guess I just fell for her rhetoric; believed everyone was like me and her."

"Always the revolutionary Naoms?"

"I guess."

"Even at that age," I said, stroking her face and smiling at her. "Precocious."

"I guess," she replied, rewarding me with a faint smile. "Anyway, after she told me I got pretty down, I used to get teased by some of the kids at school about being a one parent family, but they used to leave me alone when I told them that Dad worked abroad fighting oppression…I didn't even know what fucking 'oppression' meant back then; I'd just heard one of mums friends talk about it and I decided that's what dad must be doing.

So anyway, I didn't have that story to use anymore, and then mum decided to up and move to London, and it was hello new school and new friends; except less of the new friends really. I got bullied a bit when I was in London, they used to look down at me because mum was a bit different and because they knew I had no dad. I didn't tell anyone though, I guess deep down I thought I deserved it, we _were_ pretty weird as a family, not having a dad isn't that normal, having a hippy for a mum is downright odd. But I hid it all away; then came my sixth or seventh birthday, I think it was my sixth actually, and I didn't know it but mum had arranged a big party."

"Oh no," I exclaimed seeing where this was likely to go.

"Oh yes, she got in touch with the other parents and arranged a nice surprise birthday party with all my 'friends' they were all there when I got home from the park, and stood in the middle of them all was Sarah."

"Sarah?"

She's never ever mentioned anyone called Sarah to me, Mum's never mentioned a Sarah to me either. As horrified as I am at the thought of her story, I'm anxious to hear it through to the bitter end.

"Yeah Sarah, the worst of them all, the snootiest little bitch in my class, all pretty dresses and pigtails. Mummy and Daddy's little fucking darling. She made Katie look like fucking Bambi even back then, and she hated me…used to call me a freak."

"Jesus babe…"

"Anyway, she came up to me when I was surrounded by my so called friends and quite pointedly asked when my 'Daddy' was coming home because she _'so wanted to meet him.'_ Then she looked at everyone and said _'oh that's right, you _don't_ have a Daddy do you Naomi?_' and she laughed, and the others laughed with her because she was the top dog and that's what they did.

Well that was it, I was supposed to be the birthday girl, centre of attention and little Sarah took it all, she was like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, and everyone loved her; but every chance she got she humiliated me. Picked on my clothes, picked on our house, my toys…fucking everything. I was having a hard enough time coming to terms with the whole 'dad' thing, then all this happened, and it happened on my birthday and it was all just ruined for me. I ended up running away, well until I got hungry anyway; by then Sarah and everyone else had gone home and it was safe."

I sighed and hugged her to me, the image of six year old Naomi already being a runner was all too easy to imagine. I wish I'd known her then, wish that she'd lived near me so she could at least have had one friend.

"Is that why you always stood up to Katie babe," I asked, suddenly curious; "because she reminded you of this Sarah?"

"No hun," she said, surprise in her voice. "I stood up to Katie because she always picked on you, I thought you knew that."

I shook my head, I hadn't realised that at all but now I think of it, it all made sense; she'd been protecting me from Katie, drawing her fire from me. It hadn't worked of course, the old Katie had enough fire for me, her and everyone else; but it was a lovely thought. Naomi Campbell my silent defender. I leaned in and kissed her shoulder in silent thanks, smiling as she leant her head against mine.

"Anyway, for me, from then on it was the same bloody thing, somehow I was reminded of everything that I didn't have, a proper family, and every time I was reminded it hurt. I'd be taken to kids parties where they'd parade their mum and dad in front of me. It wasn't just birthdays either, it was holidays and Christmas... everything like that. We'd be involved in school things and it was always 'here's Paul's Mummy and Daddy', 'here's Amy's Mummy and Daddy' and always 'here's Naomi with her _mummy_.'

Always the same barely hidden insult, you're different Naomi, and your mum's a freak."

"Your mum's lovely Naomi, she's not a freak, and neither are you. Jesus babe you grew up in the nineteen nineties, not the flaming eighteen nineties, there were plenty of kids at my school that were from single parent families. It's not a big deal anymore, it's just one of those things."

"Yeah well, it wasn't like that where I went to school, trust me."

She fell into silence, and relaxed into my hug, finally slipping an arm around me. It was progress at least, it all was. She had run this time, but not really, not like usual; and she was willing to talk, willing to tell me all about her past. I'm not sure if all those people she felt hurt her had actually meant everything they'd said or done, I'm not sure if it's simply the remembering of an overly sensitive little girl who was feeling vulnerable, and seeing things that weren't really there. A bit like she'd seen something going on between me and Effy, tormented by an imagination gone wild.

Ultimately though, it doesn't matter if they were real or not; they were real to her, real to a six, or seven year old Naomi and they hurt her, scarred her and made her, in part, who she is now. Knowing that, and buoyed by the facts that Effy had pointed out to me earlier I decided to take a chance. It was, perhaps, time to make or break, time for shit or bust.

"Naoms, I'm here ok, if you want to talk, talk to me. Just because we grew up differently doesn't mean I can't understand."

"It does though Ems, it really, really does. I'd give everything I have and everything I've ever I had for what you had growing up."

"What?"

"Yeah, everything…well, everything except you." She smiled at me with her sad eyes and raised her other hand to touch my face, "I never want to give you up."

"Well of course," I said smiling back and leaning into her touch, kissing her fingers as they brushed past my lips; "I should hope not babe, but I don't really understand what you mean love. What did I have growing up that you didn't have?"

"You had a family Ems, you had a normal fucking family. Mum, Dad, sister, brother….everything was normal." She looked down at the sand, a lone tear tricking down her face.

"All I ever wanted to be, was normal. Have me and my mum and a dad and live in a nice house all on our own. Perhaps even have brothers and sisters, you know? people to love me. I grew up in communes and retreats Ems, constantly surrounded by strangers, I only ever had mum and she was always off on one about some cause or another. Bristol was the first place I think I've ever stayed in for longer than six months and then only because mum eventually decided to open her own communal living project. She said it was a dream of hers to 'give back', all I knew was that I never got a moments peace with mum and her 'friends', and that everyone still thought of us as freaks.

All I ever wanted Ems, was to have a family like yours, I'd even put up with a sister like Katie, because deep down you _know_ she loves you. I never had that, never had anyone really, no one but mum...not until you."

"But my family's nothing to write home about babe," I told her, starting to understand her and wanting to prove her wrong. "It's all a mask, smoke and mirrors; let's face up to reality, I've got a sister that was a bully and a bitch, a mum that hates who and what I am; a Dad that bankrupted us and left us homeless and a brother that's a complete and utter pervert."

"Yeah, but you grew up with a family that loved you, I never really had that. When I was growing up mum was always torn between loving me, and loving her causes; and a lot of the time her causes won and she would be off and gone, leaving me with strangers. I didn't have a dad like Rob to turn to when that happened, I didn't have anyone; and I never got close to anyone else because I didn't like committing, committing means you get hurt when they go."

I nodded at that last, remembering the discussions we'd had over her Dragons, those metaphysical beasts that had helped her understand herself, helped her understand her own fears. She's wrong though, her mum does love her; perhaps she was just as bad as showing it as Naomi herself was, like mother like daughter.

"So that's what birthdays are Ems, that's what it's all about; why I didn't want you to make a fuss, why I never want anything done for my birthday. They're a symbol of what I don't have, what I'll never have and I fucking hate them. Every single birthday reminds me of my past, reminds me of everything that's ever gone wrong; every fucked up party, every birthday I've spent wishing I was normal, and every single one I've spent alone, without even my mum there to make me feel special."

"It doesn't have to be like that though babe, it can be different."

"It can't Ems, too much history, too much pain to deal with."

"Bollocks," I told her, really wanting to verbally slap her, to snap her out of this wave of self pity. "This isn't like you Naomi, you're not normally this pathetic. So you've had a crap time on your birthday, so it's not all been sweets and cakes and pretty dresses and parties. Doesn't mean it _can't_ be something you enjoy; something you can actually look forward to."

She looked at me, a hint of shock in her eyes. I stroked her cheek with the back of my hand and smiled at her.

"Naomi you're just running away from it, that's all. It's painful, sure, but haven't you leant that you have to face it; be brave, like you've done before?"

"What if I don't want to Ems, I tried remember? I tried to have a good time with you and Cook last year and look where that left me, pissed up for two days, barely remembering my own fucking name."

"You didn't _tell_ us though Naomi, you didn't tell _me_. How the hell could I make your birthday special for you if I didn't know about it? I'd like to have a go though babe, I'd like to give you that special day. You've done so much for me this year, I really want to help you celebrate your birthday."

She shook her head and looked away, staring out to the horizon again.

"Babe, you might not have had a family growing up, but you've got a family now. You and me, _we're_ family remember, that's what you told me, unless you didn't really mean it."

"We are hun, I meant every word."

"Well then, you want a birthday with your family and this year's the perfect time. You and me babe. I'm not going to be able to do anything near as wonderful as you did for me, but I can make a start; make sure you have a good day, make you feel special again. But if you're really set against it, I'll forget Katie ever spoke and we'll go back to how it was."

"You'd do that for me," she said turning back to me, her beautiful eyes wide.

"Of course I would babe, I'd do anything for you; haven't you learned that by now?"

I leaned into her and kissed her softly on the lips, ignoring the taste of salt and the rough feeling of the sand, ignoring everything but this wonderful, messed up confused girl in front of me. Someone that's so brave, so clever and yet still so stupid and so scared. As I pulled away, she pressed out foreheads together, her hands still pressed to my cheeks.

"You're pretty fucking wonderful Ems, you know that don't you." She said sniffing as she held back tears.

"Yeah, I know," I told her, "you seem to inspire it in me. You're pretty wonderful yourself you know? When you just let yourself go, let yourself be you."

I held her as she cried, hopefully in relief, hopefully finally expunging her doubts and fears about her life, her family issues and, more than anything, herself. I did nothing but hold her and tell her I love her because, right now, there's nothing more important in the world that she needs to know.

"I ran again didn't I?" She said quietly as her shaking subsided and she relaxed into my arms.

"You did babe, but it's ok."

"It is?"

"Yeah babe it is. It's ok because you kissed me and told me what you needed to do. You didn't push me away Naoms and that's important to me. You ran, but you didn't run from me and that's a big step for us; you ran to somewhere I should have known you'd come, I'm just sorry I didn't get here sooner."

She looked at me as I got to my feet and held out my hands to her, stared at them as if they were tentacles or something sinister before reaching out and grabbing onto them; allowing me to haul her to her feet.

"So what do we do now Ems," she asked sheepishly.

"Well I think we go and talk to the others, get your present off my stupid sister and head back to the hotel 'cause it's getting late and I'm getting hungry." I said lightly, trying to ease the mood. My stomach grumbled noisily as if to emphasise the point, causing us both to snigger involuntarily. It's the first time I've hear her laugh since I got here, laugh properly that is and it's possibly the most wonderful sound I've heard in ages.

"'scuse me." I said, rubbing my stomach. "Come on babe, let's go, tummy is telling me it's time to find food and, I'm sorry to say, Emily can't live on booze alone."

I leant down and grabbed my bag tucking the bottle of booze under my arm as I did so, before grabbing her by the hand and moving to walk away, trying to pull her along with me. Like she had done so many times in college she stood her ground, holding onto my hand and pulling me back. I skipped slightly as she pulled on my arm, dragging me into her body causing my to drop our stuff and wrap my arms around her ready for the kiss.

"Thanks babe," she said as she broke us apart, licking her lips as she looked down at me. "Thanks for coming for me. I love you, I really do love you."

"I love you too Naoms, and that's why I'll always come running when you need me, ok? Try and remember that, just in case."

"Ok, I'll try and remember that hun, just in case; and I think I'd _like_ to spend my birthday with you if that's all right. But just that ok? If I can spend it with you, knowing that you know that it's my birthday; I think that'll be enough for me. Little steps you know?"

"Little steps babe," I replied, secretly delighted.

"No present."

"No present," I agreed, _'fat chance, you're getting a little something,'_ I couldn't help thinking.

"You and me and something to eat and something to drink yes?"

"Dancing?" I asked with a cheeky grin and a little nudge that raised another smile from her all too serious face.

"Don't push it Fitch."

"Fair enough."

o+o+o

There was still a slight atmosphere as we made it back to our old hotel, I can sense a light tension in Naomi and as we went into the bar after cleaning ourselves up in the bathroom, I thought it was best to clear the air.

"Are we ok babe?" I asked as we sat on the stools by the concrete bar.

"Mmm? Sorry Ems, I was miles away."

"I noticed Nai; I said, are we ok?"

She looked at me, her forehead puckered in confusion, another good sign; she only looks at me like that when she hasn't got a clue what I'm talking about.

"We're fine aren't we Ems? Why do you ask?"

"Because you're a million miles away at the moment Nai and I can tell you're really nervous about something. I thought it might be something to do with us."

"No hun, nothing like that, sorry," she said leaning over and taking my hand. "I'm being a twat again aren't I? I didn't mean to shut you out, I'm just wondering how on earth I'm going to apologise to Katie for walking off."

"Well thank fuck for that, I was wondering how I was going to apologise to you for buying you a sodding present."

Katie's voice cut through the bar from behind us and we spun around in our seats to see both Katie and Effy stood behind us hand in hand.

"Do you a deal Campbell, neither of us apologises and we pretend like it never happened, what do you say?"

"Sounds good to me Katiekins."

Effy and I exchanged an amused glance, both of them falling into their old habits, both of them falling into their old contemptuous tones, yet neither of them really meaning it. It's funny how they behave, one day the world will stop in its tracks when they admit that they finally, actually like each other

"Right then, get the drinks in lezzer."

"Fine," my girl replied with a smile; "Ems can you dig my purse out of your bag please?"

"Is that all right with you Emsy?" Katie asked, her eyes telling me that she was sorry.

"That's ok with me Kay," I said, smiling to tell her I was sorry too; "especially if Naomi's buying."

o+o+o

We only planned on having a couple of drinks with Katie and Effy, I wasn't really planning on making a night of it. However before I knew it, Naomi and Katie had suggested ordering some food and then it was drinks and more drinks and the night was rapidly rolling on. I know she was probably doing it so I could spend more time with my sister; but I didn't miss her slip her letter into Effy's hand during dinner, and didn't fail to notice them slipping off to "go for a smoke" a bit later on.

Effy had winked at me when they came back and I relaxed a bit more; she'd obviously been doing her 'best friend' role and sorting out Naomi's head. It makes me laugh, two days, two dodgy heads, two fixed up girlfriends.

Seriously, Katie and I need to meet up less often if this is what it causes, or should that be we need to meet up more often?

"You two ok now?" Effy asked me quietly, pulling her bar stool close to mine.

"Yeah, though I did want to spend some time with her alone, just to make sure. But that was before she decided on starting this little party with Katie."

"You'll be fine, I think as much as anything, this was their way of apologising to everyone for being such twats."

"Yeah, I guess." I said looking over at my girlfriend cavorting on the bar's tiny dance floor with my sister.

It's funny, but all night Naomi's been on coke, telling me she'd had enough booze with that unfinished bottle of fenny we'd dumped in a convenient bin before we got here. Yet she looks almost as pissed as the rest of us; I'm feeling pretty merry, Katie is pretty caned and Effy, well you can't really tell sometimes. Effy always looks the same; intense.

I looked back into her blue eyes, eyes that are not close to a patch on Naomi's, and asked the question I'd longed to ask even before we'd flown off and left then to it.

"So you and Katie, pretty serious then Eff?"

She shrugged, looked over at my sister and then nodded. "I think so Emily. She makes me happy."

"You make her happy too Eff, she's changed this year. I think she's grown up quite a bit with everything that's happened to her; she's changed an awful lot. You've changed too for that matter."

"I could say the same about you and Naomi you know," she told me, a knowing smirk on her lips.

"True," I agreed, accepting the compliment. "We've grown up a bit too, it's a shame that it's had to come through so much pain."

"Sometimes pain works Emily, life is all about pain. But sometimes though," she said looking across at Katie who appeared to be encouraging Naomi into some kind of drinking competition, presumably not knowing Nai's on soft drinks. "_Just_ sometimes, it's a good pain you know?"

I nodded and said nothing, there wasn't really anything else to say.

o+o+o

After another half an hour of messing about, we were saying our goodbye's. I really wanted to get Naomi alone; reconnect with her and reassure myself and her that we were still ok. To my surprise, after hugging me goodbye, Katie grabbed Naomi and wrapped her arms around her neck, pulling her head down to whisper in her ear.

"I'm really sorry Naomi," I heard her say quietly, "I didn't mean to upset you and ruin everything."

"It's ok Katie," my girl replied, "it was probably time that I dealt with things. I'm sorry I ignored your present and fucked off, it was just a bit tough to take right then."

"Do you want to take it now?" she asked almost eagerly. Naomi looked across at me, somehow knowing, without looking, that I was listening, and I nodded; honestly it would be easier to take it and deal with it later, than risk annoying Katie again.

I took a step nearer to her and took her arm as Katie let her go, grabbing her hand and pressing my head into her shoulder as I did so. I felt her give my fingers a gentle squeeze as she watched Katie fumble in her bag and produce the lovingly wrapped box.

"Thanks Katie," Nai said, carefully taking the present. Katie just grinned at her stupidly as she held it like it might actually burn her.

"Are you both coming to see us off tomorrow afternoon?" I asked after Naomi had tucked Katie's present under the one arm I wasn't clinging to.

"What again?"

"Yes again Katie, strangely enough I thought you might want to say goodbye."

"We'll be there Emily," Effy said, slipping a controlling arm around Katie's waist.

"Not to the station though guys," Naomi said forcefully, accepting no argument. "It's bloody miles away and we're getting a cab there. We can say goodbye at the hotel, saves you the time and expense of the journey back."

"Always the practical one Naomi."

"Always the sensible one Eff, you guys are on holiday too."

We all left the bar together earlier than normal, Naomi and I had a good long walk up the beach to our hotel and Katie was trying to convince Effy to go dancing at a nearby bar they'd found earlier today. As we went our separate ways, waving our goodbyes, Katie's voice rang out clearly in the still night air.

"Hope you like your present Campbell," she called getting a look from a random passerby. "Hope you like it as well Emsy. It's not as nice as those earrings, but it might be more fun."

...and with that she was gone, leaving us wondering what she meant.

o+o+o

We didn't take a cab back to the hotel, Naomi and I. We took a stroll along our beach for what would be our last night here, tomorrow we'd pack our things, pay our bill probably meet up with the others and then get into a cab and get on that train. Step one, or perhaps two of our trip complete. We would say goodbye to Goa and take the train to Mumbai

It was getting very late as we drifted towards the Marriott, but that didn't matter; I have my girl at my side and I was happy enough to be enjoying the moment. I doubt she'll appreciate the steps that she's taken over the past few days, the giant leaps that our relationship has made. Not just in presents and hotels and birthday treats, not just in secret plans and surprise rendezvous'. But in sickness and in memories and in sharing and in trust. In the really important things, the things I truly value above all else, she and I have become closer and closer. She's let me nurse her without complaint, she's let me try and help her through guilt and bad memories of both our, and her own past. She's slowly, but surely letting me in. Step one and step two of our trip, I can only dream of how much closer we're going to get as time moves on.

She's still wrong about the presents she got me being trinkets though, they're a lot more than that, all of them. They're powerful symbols of something deeper, something more primal than the superficial price people would put upon these things. As such I value every gift that she's given me more than she'll probably believe, no matter how many times I'll tell her.

In our weeks here in Goa she's given me some great memories to take to my grave, so many perfect moments captured in the stillness of my mind, things I can hold onto through the rough times that are bound to come.

Life _isn't_ easy, Effy's right, life _is_ all too often all about pain; but for now that's not important. We've had more than our fair share of pain and heartbreak and misery. We've both got messed up lives and messed up families, and right now, as I walk in the dark along the glorious soft golden sand that never ceases to remind me of my girlfriends hair, I don't think that they're important either. Right now I have all that I need to make me happy, I have my beach and I have my girl; my heart is full and my life is complete.

o+o+o

_2:40AM_

I love watching Naomi sleep, I've decided that it's my new second favourite thing, because I can honestly say I prefer this to actually sleeping...in the short term of course. I love making love to Naomi, but I couldn't do it all day, every day; though I am prepared to give that a damn good try.

But making love can wait, at least until morning. I think I have the same problem she did last night; despite being exhausted, satisfied and really happy, I can't turn my brain off and that's what's stopping me just curling up with the love of my life and drifting off to sleep. I just can't stop thinking; and despite surfacing as the clock nearly reached midday yesterday, Naomi is now dead to the world so I can't even talk to her. I'm not going to wake her though, I know she couldn't sleep the other night, know she spent a bit of time sitting outside and writing. I know as well, because I woke for a second and saw her doing it, that she spent a bit of time doing exactly what I'm doing now, that she'd sat on this chair and watched me sleep.

Naomi is truly beautiful when she sleeps, I'd thought that she looked gorgeous all those weeks ago, when she was lying in Mum's spare room, bandage around her head and the ruins of our relationship scattered around her. I thought that she looked perfect on the morning of my birthday as I watched her, sprawled across our bed; barely covered by the sheets. Back then she was stunning, right now she's absolutely mesmerising. She's got her back to me slightly as she lies on her left side, her left hand tucked under her head; her right cradling my pillow, her hand flat on the space where my head had been, as if absorbing the warmth that I'd left behind. I can see her spine where the covers have moved, revealing an awful lot of her lightly tanned back, her tan lines glowing white in the dim light; and I can trace my eyes down her back to her dimples and the beginning of the soft curve of her hips and the cotton covered orbs of her buttocks.

_'Seriously Emily, get a grip or you'll find yourself trying to jump her and ruining everything.'_

What's making her even more beautiful is that blonde cascade of hair that's falling over the pillows and partially covering her face. I love her hair, and I especially love her bed hair; it makes her look very, very fuckable.

I can't believe I'm feeling like this, one quick glance at the clock tells me it's only been an hour and a half since she fell asleep. That's only two hours since we last had sex and I'm horny again; turned on by the spectacle in front of me, the unconscious erotic drama that is my Naomi writhing and turning in bed. There's either something very wrong with me, or something very right; personally I'm voting for the latter.

Deciding that this is getting me nowhere in my attempts to find tiredness and grasp onto it, I grabbed one of the little rectangles of fancy hotel notepaper and left her a short note.

_'Emily slept here - and will again. Couldn't sleep __this__ time though, gone for a short walk, be back soon. Love you x'_

I hate leaving her notes, I would love to kiss her awake and explain what I'd doing, letting her drift back to sleep with the knowledge of where I was and that everything was ok. I don't though, because I know if I do then she'll try and stay awake, that she'll want to come with me. I can't possibly wake her because of that, that and she looks so peaceful lying there. Reluctantly, I pulled on my shorts and my shirt and I slipped quietly away.

There's barely a soul around the hotel as I take my near three am stroll, one smiling face on reception, one lonely looking figure cleaning up around the bar. All the guests, it seems, have retired for the night; the sensible ones tucked up in bed, fast asleep. Me, I'm still trying to process everything that happened today, trying to get it into my head and understand everything.

It's weird I guess, it seems that all that Naomi has ever wanted was a normal family life, mum dad, her, even the idea of sisters and brothers seem to be a part of that fantasy existence. Birthdays symbolise that she has never had that, symbolise that she has never been normal in her own eyes. Each and every birthday seems to remind her of what she _doesn't_ have, instead of what she _does_. She's got a loving family, and always has had. Sure Gina's a bit quirky, a bit eccentric at times, but she loves Naomi and that's what's important isn't it?

It's not about having a dad there, or a brother or a sister. It's about love.

What makes it even stranger is that despite having the 'normal' family she so desperately wanted, I longed for what Naomi has always had without ever having to ask for it; her mother's love.

I have more of a mother in Gina than I ever had in Jenna; from the very first moment I met her she was accepting, non-judgemental, just perfect. I know she always knew about me and Naomi, about what she meant to me and vice-versa, but she never forced the issue. She allowed us to find ourselves, dropping little hints and crumbs and nuggets along the way, a gingerbread path that led to who and what we are now. I missed her as much as Naomi did after she went touring with Kieran, Naoms never knew this but I missed our little chats, in the mornings when a grumpy but awake Naomi would be stubborn and refuse to leave the comfort of her bed.

In the short time between the Ball and her leaving I grew to love Gina Campbell even more, she was the mum I never had; the mum I always wanted.

It's like we're two halves of a whole, Naomi and I; we always have been, yin and yang, darkness and light, hot and cold. I always believed that people have their other halves, and I knew that I'd found mine on that eventful Tuesday in mid-May when a fourteen year old Emily Fitch first really noticed Naomi Campbell. I have the most perfect dad in all the world and she has the most perfect mum. Put us together and we're the perfect family, perfect in almost every way.

I think about all of this as I walk around the complex, trying to clear my mind of the confusion, bring clarity to my new discoveries; before finding myself in reception walking into the corner and to the little public computer that is winking away. Without hesitation I pulled out the card that Naomi had bought on arrival, the one I'd taken from the table in the room as I'd left, and punched in the code; getting access to the magical world of the internet and more importantly to our holiday gmail account where I could read our e-mails.

There wasn't anything new to read, well apart from a load more Viagra adverts and the other ubiquitous spam that Google had already filtered for me. There was, however, one message from James wishing me happy birthday and asking me for holiday pictures; ideally, as he put it, ones of me and Naomi on the beach. I grinned and pointed him at our Flikr account, knowing the one picture of Naomi on our beach he and Gordon would kill to see is safely tucked away on a memory card in the bottom of my boot. My paranoia for not losing it causing me to slip it under my insole to keep it safe and sound.

Checking for anything else that was new, and finding nothing. I went back to the very first message in our account, the one from mum testing to see if it worked. Making sure, bless her, that she could get in touch with us at any time. Clicking the reply button I typed out a quick message.

_'Hi Mum,_

_Thought I'd let you know that we finally had the whole 'birthday conversation' today. Naoms got a bit upset because Katie bought her a present, Effy told me that you'd told her what the date was...I'd expect her to be a bit grumpy about that - just a bit of a warning you know what she's like!_

_I think we're sorted, I think she's ok with it now. I even think she's willing to bend a little, says she wants to spend her birthday with me __as__ her birthday, even though I promised to forget all about it if she wanted me to. I'm not going to push things, but I do think that's real progress, especially as the last time we talked about it she made me promise not to try and find out when it was, as if she'd wiped it from history or something._

_Anyway, she told me all she ever wanted was family and so I'm going to give her family. I know I can do that for her on her special day._

_That's about it really, I just wanted you to know where things were with is. On the whole we're still great, still happy and still stupidly in love (-;_

_Miss you loads, love you_

_Ems_

_xxx'_

I pressed send on the message and opened another window, searching for places to visit in our layover in Mumbai; trying to see what we could do while we waited for our evening train to New Dehli. Ten minutes later I closed it down and noticed that there was a new message in our inbox. Quickly I clicked on it and read Gina's reply.

_''Hello Dear, glad to hear things are going so well. Naomi will forgive me I'm sure and I'm also sure she'll bend more than a little. I know more than she thinks about her birthday 'phobia' and I know I'm more than a little responsible for it. Tell her I'm sorry when, and if, the time is right on the sixteenth. Tell her I'm sorry for that and for telling Katherine and Elizabeth. It just slipped out when we were planning your leaving party, I'd hoped they'd forgotten...typical of my luck that is._

_Look, I'm glad you're both fine and that you've had that talk but by my reckoning it's the early hours of the morning where you are and you should be in bed. Naomi will be fine Emily, she'll be fine because she's with you, you love her, and that's all that's important to her._ _Now stop messing about in the internet and go to bed. I'm sure she's missing you as much as you're missing her right now._

_Love to you both, speak to you soon._

_Mum_

_xxxx'_

I smiled at the message and moved it into another folder, taking it out of the inbox and Naomi's sight. She's not one for digging around normally, so I know it's safe; I'll reply tomorrow, well today, or later. For now, she's right; I am missing Naomi, missing her smell and her warmth, despite the fact that it's not cold.

I logged off the computer, making sure that the account was clear and we weren't still being charged, and headed quietly back up to our room. Slowly I turned the door handle and crept into the darkness; quietly dropping my shorts and shirt to the floor and easing myself into that big, comfortable bed.

I'd barely pulled the covers over myself when an arm crept out and pulled me close, a set of lips pressing themselves to my forehead.

"Missed you Fitch," she said softly. "Where you been?"

"Couldn't sleep babe," I told her snuggling myself in. "Went for a walk, surfed the net for a bit, you know, tried to tire myself out. How come you're awake, you were dead to the world when I left?"

"Fitchdar hun, never fails me, you know that. Anyway, did it work?"

"Did what work babe?"

"Your walk silly, did it tire you out?"

I sighed, "Not really babe, my mind is still running a bit too fast." I told her, admitting to myself the truth. I still couldn't sleep.

"Good," she said with a voice thick, not with sleep, but with promise, her hand snaking around my back and stroking my spine, "Because someone once taught me the perfect solution for a racing mind; I'm sure I can fix that for you easily."

"Really babe?" I replied, leaning into her, cherishing the feel of her hand as it gently stroked my hip.

"Really."

Her kiss was tender and yet filled with passion, her touches were slowly setting my skin on fire, little whirlwinds of flames were left dancing on my skin when she moved her long delicate fingers from place to place. Finally, agonisingly slowly, those wonderful fingers found the place where I wanted them so badly and my mind lost focus and drifted into that pleasurable void where sensation takes over, and all you can do is _feel_.

I really, really do love making love to my Naomi. It is, without any challengers, my most favourite thing in the world.

.

.

.

**A/N -** Oh, one short note for a very smart person. TigerRam, at some point go back to your review of Chapter 9 (I think it was) and pat yourself on the back. I know I'm all too obvious sometimes, but you _were_ the first person to point it out.

Wish I was that clever...I may have sussed out Flickers by now if I was, instead of hanging on every chapter like a muppet, trying to work out what's going on.


	13. Goodbye to Goa

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer –** I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent, despite what people tell me.

Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame).

**Authors Note **– Hmmm..I know I usually try to post once a week, but I'm not sure if I can keep up that deadline at the moment, last week this chapter kinda went to pot and I had a major freak out about it. I'm afraid CP and something else I'm thinking about has pretty much taken over my brain.

Still here we are, chapter 13, unlucky for some...probably why I had the most horrendous writers block over it then.

Anyway, if you're still reading, I hope you enjoy it.

**Chapter 13 - Goodbye to Goa**

_Emily_

This is getting to be a habit, waking up before Naomi. Before her little incident I could count the number of times it had happened on one, possibly two hands; now I'd have to bring my toes into play as well. Or use her fingers, though actually I can think of better things her fingers could be doing right now than counting; much better things in fact.

"Go back to sleep love, all that thinking is making me tired."

_'Perhaps I'm not awake before her then!'_

Her sleep-slurred voice dragged me from my current fantasy moment, which to be honest is little more than a replay of last night's passion.

"Have I worn you out Naoms?" I asked with my best bedroom voice, leaning into her to kiss the nape of her neck pressing my wet lips against the warm skin making her move away involuntarily, shuddering as she did so.

"Emily, if you will keep me up half the night shagging then of course you've going to wear me out," she said snuggling down into the sheets. "What time is it anyway?"

"Just after six babe," I told her, glancing at the clock.

"Fucking hell," she said rolling over to face me, her blue eyes staring at me through half closed eyelids, "We've only just got to sleep, why are you awake?"

I shrugged, pulling my best 'I don't know' face, closing my eyes and pouting. There's no way I'm going to answer her with 'I was lying her fantasising about you fucking me' Not just yet anyway. When I opened them again I could see her looking at me, her amusement creeping through the exhaustion.

"Come here you," she ordered raising an arm to beckon me over and I happily shuffled across the bed to get closer to her.

"Not like that," she ordered, "roll over, curl up, tuck yourself in."

I love a dominant Naomi, I think I might have mentioned that before.

I rolled over on to my left side and faced away from her; loving the feel as I pressed down into that luxurious mattress. Slowly I shuffled myself backwards until I was pressed tightly to her, our bodies moulding into almost one and shivered slightly as I felt her breath on my ear.

"That's better," she said, slipping an arm over my side, "now go back to sleep hun."

That's not going to happen and she fucking knows it, she's being a tease again. I know she's tired, but I also know she's not ready to go back to sleep; not with her hand casually, almost too lazily, brushing against my already hard nipple. I can't help the little intake of breath as her fingernails scrape across me and her hand gently cradles my breast before she begins her strumming motion again. I can feel her smile into my back at my reaction, can almost sense her lying there, eyes closed, feigning sleep, yet concentrating very hard on every movement, every rise and fall of her fingers; every touch and every caress a carefully calculated motion, all part of her great plan.

I lay there, my beautiful blonde curled up behind me, and just relaxed into her touch. I want to do more, something in my mind is telling me that I should be doing more; but the majority of my brain is obeying her subliminal command to lie there and just enjoy it. I can hear her breathing behind me, she's trying her hardest to make it sound regular, like this is the unconscious action of a sleeping Naomi, her hand moving of its own accord, but it's not working. I can tell she's getting as turned on as I am...and oh boy am I getting turned on.

I closed my eyes, a great big stupid gin plastered all over my face, as she gently stroked my right breast and I was startled to hear a satisfied 'mmmmmm' escape from my lips; startled because I was trying to be silent, trying not to give anything away.

I heard a faint chuckle from behind and her hand jiggled slightly as she did so. Perhaps not so much that you'd normally notice, but with my skin currently tingling, every nerve ending singing their own hallelujah to the heavens, I could feel everything, absolutely everything.

It was with that hallelujah chorus echoing through my body that I nearly leapt of the bed as her forefinger and thumb grasped me gently and began a slight rolling motion, before delicately she extended that forefinger and scraped her nail in ever increasing circles around my skin before reversing her motion and moving it back towards that sensitive spot.

I don't know what she's been reading, or who she's been talking to, but I want to give them a medal; not right now of course, but later...much, much later.

With a shift of her shoulder, her arm draped even more lazily across me and I let out a groan of disappointment as those wonderful, skilful, beautiful, fingers left me hanging; as her hand moved down towards the bed before enveloping my neglected left breast and performing the same ritual there.

It was about this point I almost lost control, I didn't believe that I could be so turned on be just her touching me like this. No, wait, that's not true. I know she can turn me on just be touching me, of course she can. Naomi can turn me on just be holding my hand some days, _most_ days in fact. However I don't think she's ever launched me this far up the whole 'turned on' scale before. I don't think I've ever found my whole body buzzing like it is, simply by having her play with my tits.

_'Note to self...ah fuck it, no fucking notes just fucking enjoy it Emily.'_

Without any talking, without any kissing, without anything at all from Naomi except the movement of her fingers I'm climbing up the scale higher and ever higher, there are only two, perhaps three places on my entire body that have any meaning to me right now, and only two of them are getting any action.

Slowly I slid my hand down my stomach, easing its way down towards my pussy, anxious to feel that glorious pressure, desperate to satisfy the longing that I had; only to find my hand fixed in a vicelike grip and moved back up my body. Naomi placing it across my stomach with a playful slap to the back of my hand.

"No," she whispered firmly into my ear, sending another wave of warmth through my body. "Lie there, do nothing but enjoy. I'm in charge and when _I_ feel you're ready _then_ I'll let you; or maybe I'll do it myself. Either way you do _nothing_ until I tell you that you can."

Have I mentioned that I like a dominant Naomi? Well I lied, I fucking love a dominant Naomi, and she's getting seriously fucking good at it.

I lay there for what felt like hours; hours and hours of glorious pleasure. As she'd told me I'd done nothing, obeying her command with great reluctance as she teased me, her hand still moving from one nipple to another, stroking, scratching, squeezing and rolling. There's no rhythm to her movements, everything is casual and yet so carefully planned; a featherlike touch here, a hard scrape there, a gentle squeeze and a carefully planned tug all contributing to the increasingly wet feeling between my legs and the devastatingly powerful tingle that's pulsing through my nerves. As she dragged her nail across me once more I hear myself cry out, it's like there is someone else in the room, I'm totally lost in the feeling I have no idea what I'm saying or doing, and with no outlet of my own, no way of doing anything to satisfy my own powerful needs I can only turn internally. I have a brief memory of being tied and blindfolded on a bed, a pair of headphones completing my submission to her actions.

As I tuned into that internal fantasy, accepting her dominance and her total control of my body; as I allowed my body to feel everything that was happening, I'm almost in agony at her teasing, wanting nothing more than her to push that hand between my legs, to push her fingers inside my soaking pussy and fuck me until I couldn't walk. Instead, those wonderful fingers continued their ministrations, teasing my nipples, brushing delicate spirals around my areola and softly squeezing my flesh. I don't know how she comes up with these things, but I hope the everything that may or may not exist in the universe that she keeps on doing it.

I hope I get inspired in the same way, because the last thing I want is for her to get bored of me, think I'm crap in bed.

One more scrape with her finger nail and my mind goes blank once more, I can hear the noises I'm making, I can feel my body shifting under her touch, my hand drifting backwards to touch her, only to be firmly placed back with another gentle slap. It's incredible what I'm feeling, it's like a gigantic wave of pleasure, drawing back from a blonde beach, curling into a huge breaker, a tube that surrounds me, envelops me and covers me before dashing me onto that golden sandy beach with a gigantic...

"_Fuck!_"

My cry echoes around the silent room, my body convulsing as my orgasm hits me. As I collapsed back into the arms of my girlfriend I can hear her sniggering behind me, that special laugh, the one of total smug self-satisfaction she gets when she surprises me.

...and surprise me she has, in a big way. Not one touch did she place away from my tits and yet she managed to get me up the mountainside and over the edge. If it hadn't have happened I wouldn't have believed it possible.

She made me come with one hand, and only by playing with my tits; Jesus! and to think, I thought she had talented fingers _before_ this morning.

As I slumped back onto her, half in awe half in total, blissful release. I felt her arm reach around me once more, wrapping me up and pulling me back tightly into that wonderful warm body behind me..

"Fucking hell babe, that was...amazing," I told her truthfully, still a little stunned. "Different, but fucking amazing !"

She didn't say a word just snuggled up against me once more and I felt her head press against my back. As her lips touched the nape of my neck I let out a sigh of relief and finally heard her voice.

"So, are you going to go back to sleep now Ems?"

"Think I might have to hun, you know me."

"All too well baby, though it's always nice to find out something new about you, I didn't realise you were _that_ sensitive."

"Neither did I babe." I told her knowing that I was sensitive but again not realising that I was so sensitive she could do that to me.

"Well now we both know don't we? Shame it took me so long to find out isn't it?"

There's that hint of finality to her voice as she says it, the hint that she's ready to doze off herself. I'd love to take that self-satisfied look I know she's wearing and kiss, lick and bite it right off her face; but I can't. To be truthful I'm not at all convinced that can even move right about now, I'm flooded with endorphins, the good old 'happy hormones' and all I want to do is snuggle into her embrace and fall asleep again, which was probably her plan all along.

As I started to drift off again, in that glorious embrace, in this luxury bed, in this expensive room in this fabulous five star hotel; I couldn't help but consider just how lucky I was to have my Naomi, and how glad I was that I'd chased her, caught her, pushed her away and allowed her to catch me once more. From where I lay right now, everything was worth it, all the tears and the pain; how we'd pushed each other to the brink of sanity and beyond and yet were stronger than ever before. Effy's right, sometimes it _is_ a good pain. Sometimes it does all work out in the end.

As I laid my head down to sleep, with her lips placed on my back, her head snuggled into my shoulders I couldn't help but think how lucky I was to have the love of one Naomi Campbell, because such a love only comes around once in a lifetime and I'm glad that I had grabbed mine with both hands and clutched it to me.

Ok, perhaps at first I'd grabbed too hard, too scared that it would slip through my fingers again; but right now I can't help but think it was worth it...all of it, just because.

"Naoms," I asked as my usual post orgasmic tiredness swept over me, "what time do we have to check out today?"

"Eleven babe, we have to be ready to leave by eleven, but I've asked at Reception if they'll put our bags somewhere until we have to get our cab to the station. So we've still got the day to ourselves here. We can say goodbye to Goa and goodbye to the others without having to worry, but we have to have checked out by eleven o'clock or we get charged for another day at their premium rate."

"That's a shame," I told her, closing my eyes and allowing myself to drift off, "because I could stay here all day, it's nice...and I'm very happy."

I allowed my brain to slow down as I genuinely considered it, thinking that it might just be worth it. Eventually I let the dream dissipate, we really couldn't afford to stay here at their premium rate prices and we already had arrangements to head to Mumbai. It was time to be sensible, and it seemed Naomi was thinking the same way.

"I'd like nothing more babe," I heard her say as I drifted off to sleep, "but all good things must come to an end."

o+o+o

Beaches and blondes, beaches and blondes, there's something truly wonderful about beaches and blondes. No swimsuit though, not this time, but not in a good way. The swimsuit is packed away, stuffed at the bottom of a rucksack and I doubt I'll see it again for weeks, months perhaps.

I'm kind of upset if the truth be told, because this is _our_ beach, it's _our_ special place and we should be able to stay here forever; not have to climb into a taxi and then onto a train heading to another city, and another place. If there was any justice in this world then we would be stinking rich, and this beach would be like our lake; somewhere where we could go when we want to be alone together. Just jump on a plane; leave Bristol, or London or wherever we end up living behind, and find ourselves alone. Alone, together and happy.

Still, as she murmured in bed this morning probably thinking I was already asleep, probably hoping that I wouldn't hear, all good things _must_ come to an end. But only, I keep telling myself, so more good things can happen. I found myself sighing as I thought about leaving this place.

"You ok Ems?"

"No not really."

She wrapped her arm around me as we sat on Miramar Beach, sat and waited for my sister and our friend to join us for our last few hours here. We'd had a good day, a great day in fact; after the mad panic to pack all our things into our rucksacks so we could check out on time. We'd sat on a sunny bench and wrote postcards to people we knew. We'd ambled around the shops and bought silly little things to take along with us, things that would help to remind us of this special time and this special place. Finally though we'd come back to our spot on our beach and sat, holding hands, just enjoying being here.

"What's the matter hun? Why aren't you ok?"

I sighed again, putting everything into that sigh thinking about all the things I'd be missing. I'd miss Goa, I'd miss the beach and I'd miss Katie and Effy. I was even missing watching my sister start her new life, even though that hasn't really started yet. It was an exciting time for all of us and yet I couldn't be in two places at once, let alone three or four.

I really wished I could. I wanted to be here with Naomi, or at home with her starting our University life. I wanted to be in Bristol with Katie and Effy as they started their new lives, I wanted it all, and more but life isn't like that and if I wanted to be with Naomi, which I unquestionably did, then Katie and Effy were on their own from now on; with only letters, e-mails and phone calls a method of keeping us all in touch.

Naomi's arm tightened around my shoulder as I sighed and she squeezed me gently. "I'm going to miss it all as well hun," she told me; reading my mind as only someone this close to me could.

"It's all changing Naoms, we're moving on; Katie and Effy are moving on. Everything is changing around us and it's all a bit..."

"Scary?" she asked, twisting around to look me in the eyes, her eyebrow raised slightly in amusement as she used her own familiar excuse.

"Overwhelming," I completed, shaking my head at her assumption. I'm lying a little; it really is a bit scary.

"Welcome to my world lover," she told me, placing a kiss on my head. "That's how it feels every day to me."

"What? Over_whelming_, why?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"Because you're with me, because you keep telling me you love me; because you _keep_ loving me. That's pretty overwhelming Emily Fitch, especially for someone like me. It's a lot to come to terms with you know?"

"You're a daft twat," I told her, wrapping my arms around her waist and wrestling her back down onto the sand. "Of course I fucking love you, what's not to love?"

"Well, I'm insensitive, I don't get on with your mother, or your sister; I'm closed off, hurtful and I'm not at all in touch with myself. I'm neglectful, arrogant, insecure and apparently I'm paranoid and stupid as well as immature and selfish."

I went to say something, but she cut me off; speaking again.

"Oh and let's not forget my choice of best friends; one's locked up and not getting out any time soon, and the other is struggling with her own problems."

I opened my mouth, only to have her finger press onto my lips, silencing me, but not quite as effectively as her eyes, which bored into mine as I topped her on that golden sand.

"Not to mention that, as Katie once told me, I'm a 'bookish loser' and last, but by no means least, I'm a runner. I run all the fucking time and every time I do I manage to hurt you; even if I don't mean to, like yesterday."

"Don't forget you're a daft twat," I managed to say finally as she stared up into my eyes.

"Yeah, that too. It's a pretty good summary hun, I'm a daft twat; and that, my dear, is why it's always overwhelming that you and me are together. Because you're just perfect, and I'm just a daft twat."

"Yes you are babe, but you're _my_ daft twat Naoms, and that's what's to love...Because," I said, silencing her half hearted attempt at a protestation with a less than half hearted kiss.

"You're much, much more than _just_ a daft twat, you're thoughtful and caring and passionate, you're actually quite the opposite of selfish...do I need to go on? Well ok then," I said without pausing for breath; "you're clever, witty and you can be quite charming when you put your mind to it. My dad and my brother fucking adore you and you're even winning Katie over. Your best mates both love you because they know how much _you_ care about _them_; and you can run as much as you like, as long as you tell me where you're going and why. If that's what you need to do then it's ok with me because I understand you now; just don't run from _me_ ok, not anymore."

"No, not anymore hun, I promised myself that," she said seriously. She paused for just a second before bringing her gun turret eyes to bear on mine, locking me in her sights and grinning sheepishly. "Have you quite finished?"

"What?" I asked grinning down at her, running a hand across her brow and down the side of her face, "extolling your many virtues babe? Fuck me I've barely started Naoms. I mean, I haven't mentioned the whole activist thing, which is actually a bit of a turn on when you get going about something; and I haven't begun to describe how gorgeous you are, or how utterly fabulous those hands of yours are."

I gave her a smirk and a wink at that, amused at the fact that I can make her squirm by telling her things that she really should just accept; loving the fact that, despite her many protestations, I know she appreciates hearing these things.

"I could go on you know," I told her leaning down and kissing her again, pressing my body to hers and we lay on the beach, wishing we were wearing less than our travelling gear just so I could feel as much skin as I did this morning when I'd woken her in my most favourite way. "But I don't have to, because all I have to tell you is that I love you, that I love every single one of the million things I know about you is all wrapped up in that statement and tied with a bow."

"You're a bit of a soppy git aren't you Ems?" she said, her hands slipping under my T-Shirt and stroking my sides.

"Yeah, well you knew that from the start didn't you? I'm the soppy one, Katie's the tough one."

"You're pretty tough yourself Ems, you know that? You scare the crap out of me sometimes."

"What?" I replied, putting on my very best 'butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' face; "little old me scares big bad Naomi Campbell, nah no-one would believe that."

"Just goes to show how few people really know you then hun, because you're tough and scary when you want to be. Plus you're actually quite strong and pretty bloody heavy sometimes."

She tried to push me off, but I was having none of it. We rolled around on that warm dry sand for a while, our playful wrestling probably getting us a few looks from the other users of the beach before finally I reclaimed my position on top of her, pinning her hands above her head and leaning forward to claim my prize.

"Oh for fucks sake you two, can't you ever just do that in your room."

I looked up to see the familiar figures of my sister and her girlfriend looming over us, it's kind of ironic that she'd be saying something like that, given what we saw the night of our birthday, but I just smiled up at her grinning face and ignored her.

Well I did raise an eyebrow at the fact that they've got their arms wrapped around one another, just to make the point about PDA's.

"We don't have a room anymore Katie," Naomi said from beneath me, "so unless you want to loan us yours for the afternoon..."

"You fucking wish Campbell, absolutely not happening; you two are not getting it on in my bed."

"Wouldn't be the first time Katie," she told her with a wink, laughing as her face crinkled up into a frown.

"No way Campbell, you can't wind me up like that, there's no way that you two ever had sex in our house, Mum would never let you set foot in it, let alone spend time alone with Emily."

"Fitch tour of France 2009 Kay," I told her, "who stayed behind and who came home early? Who was it that had the whole run of the house with no-one else there but her girlfriend?"

I watched her head run it's little timeline backwards to last year, before her jaw hit the floor.

"Ugh, fuck off. You don't mean that you...in my fucking bed...fucks sake Emily, talk about invading personal space."

"What, like nicking all of Emily's clothes Katie," Naomi said defending me to the last.

"Not the same, not even close," she asserted, still looking offended.

"Dunno what you're so bothered about Katie," Naomi replied, finally rolling me onto the sand and sitting up, dusting herself down as she did so, swishing her hair in a way that always set me on edge. "You've stayed at ours for long enough to have been everywhere we've had sex and it didn't bother you then. Christ, _I've_ even sat on the sofa since you two..."

"Enough Naomi," Effy cut in with a blush and a grin. "I think that's quite far enough; it's your last day here with us and we shouldn't be squabbling over petty things. Oh and for the record, I'm with Kay, no way no how are you getting into our holiday love nest, so dream on."

"Love nest?" The three of us said together. I don't know about Naomi and Katie, but I'm pretty astonished. Astonished not only that Effy would use such a phrase, but would use it in public, she's not usually so demonstrative; perhaps in actions but rarely with words.

"Shut up," she told us, as if to emphasise my point. I didn't miss her little look to Naomi though, nor the ever so tiny wink of her eye.

"Anyway, now we've established that, _if_ I still lived there and _if_ I still had that mattress, I'd have to take it outside and burn it; what are we going to do with ourselves for the rest of the day?"

"Lunch?" I asked hopefully hauling myself to my feet and offering a hand to Naomi.

"Hun we've not long had breakfast," she said as I hauled her to her feet and she stood holding my hand, not releasing it except to manoeuvre my fingers into a better position.

"I didn't mean _right_ now Naoms, though it is well past lunchtime technically. What about you two, have you eaten yet?"

"We had breakfast this morning Emily, and lunch sounds good, as long as it's nowhere expensive, we're just poor students and Kay's been shopping again."

"I didn't spend that much!"

"Kay, if you buy any more stuff you'll have to declare it when we go back through customs."

Katie snorted and looked over at Naomi and I, "It looks like you two should go shopping as well, find something decent to wear; I mean seriously, the whole Tomb Raider look went out years ago, and frankly even Angelina couldn't carry it off well."

I not convinced she's got a point, Naomi and I may well be in our travelling gear of shorts and T-shirts, but we look pretty good. Well I think Naomi looks pretty good anyway, especially as her shorts are perhaps a tad shorter than mine, and a touch tighter as well; ably showing off her callipygous figure. Still, some extra bits to cover ourselves here and there probably wouldn't go amiss, but it's too late to consider that right now; we did intend to travel light and the few linen bits we've bought here to go over swimwear have increased our baggage, as did the cheap sandals we bought. It's typical, no matter how carefully you plan your packing there's always something you see that you think you'll need and you just have to buy it.

Still they didn't cost much and they weren't too heavy I'm sure we could manage.

Pausing only to flip Katie the bird for the Tomb Raider comment, I linked my spare hand, the one that didn't have Naomi attached to it, with Effy's and led them all down the beach to spend our last few hours together.

o+o+o

We hugged our goodbyes proper on that beautiful beach; as the afternoon drew into evening and time moved steadily on. I kissed the tall brunette that had certainly contributed in making my sister the new and improved version of herself that I'd met in Goa, and we shared a tight hug.

"You happy Effy?" I whispered as I stood in tiptoes to reach her ear.

"Yeah," she said, back to being the woman of few words. "Yeah Emily, I think I am."

"Good."

We left it at that, watching as Katie and Naomi hugged each other, my girl going so far as to plant a kiss on my sisters cheek and thank her for the present that I knew was still untouched in her bag.

"God Campbell, don't kiss me I have a fucking good idea where those lips have been."

"Yeah well, don't expect me to make it a habit Fitch, I'm only doing this because I promised my girlfriend I'd be nice to you."

I stood and watched as they smiled at each other and hugged again.

"Don't ever change Fitch," my girl said as she released my sister.

"Don't ever stay the same Campbell," Katie replied, turning on her heels primly and walking over to me.

I looked on as Effy strolled over to Naomi almost shyly, looking at her with a sad expression on her face. Naomi held out her arms and Effy simply stepped into them, putting her head onto her shoulder. The faint pang of jealousy I felt was firmly suppressed as the realisation of what had just happened washed over me.

Somewhere in the last couple of days there had been moments that had solidified their friendship. Somewhere in Effy's little freak out and hers, the two of them had found each other, shared something so deep that it had bound them together and I just knew that they would be friends for the rest of their lives; drawing on each other's strengths to keep going, to keep being the best they could be for the people they loved.

I'm actually kind of proud to be watching that special moment, and I'm delighted that my Naomi has found the friend that neither Cook, Katie, nor I, could ever be; the one that she can turn to when she needs to, no questions asked, no baggage attached. I've always had Katie for that, well most of the time, and Naomi now has Effy; it's great, because I know that any problems we have we can keep 'in the family', so to speak.

Naomi shared but a few words with Effy as they embraced, and I caught glimpses of Eff nodding and the faint whispers of words that sounded like 'keep in touch' and 'rules'. I didn't pay it any further attention, firstly I didn't need to, they were both doing fine on their own; secondly, I'd just been dragged into an almighty Fitch hug by my sister who has, uncharacteristically, got tears in her eyes.

"I'm going to miss you Emsy," she whispered into my ear as she held me tight. Never thought I'd become such a sad wanker like this but I am really going to miss you…all over again. I didn't realise how much I would until the week you'd gone, it felt wrong not to at least be able to call you."

"I'll miss you too Kay" I told her hugging her back, "all over again; and I know, but we've got the others now haven't we? You can't tell me Effy didn't take your mind off missing me at least most of the time. You know in that great big shag palace of yours."

She hugged me again and sniffed loudly before leaning back and looking across at her girlfriend and mine.

"You were right Ems, I guess we are lucky, but if you ever tell Naomi that I will kill you."

"Granted," I told her, "but I think she'll be more interested in the fact that for possibly the first time in my life you've admitted I was right about something."

Katie blinked at me before slapping my on the arm, "Bitch, there I was trying to be all grown up and mature about things and you're taking the piss. You're such a nasty cow now Emily."

I know she's joking, I don't need to have a twin sense to know that she's trying to lighten her sadness, reverting to "type" in order to protect herself a little. I thought about it as smiling the four of us linked arms and walked back towards our hotel, our ex-hotel actually so that Naomi and I could collect our bags and be on our way.

There was only one thing left to do for me, as I walked outside with my rucksack over my shoulder and I knew I was doing it with Naomi's blessing because we'd talked about it as we packed. As we walked out to where Katie and Effy were sitting on a small wall waiting for our taxi I handed over a little red box to Effy.

"Would you take this back for me Eff, and lock it up somewhere safe. It's far too precious for me to risk losing it backpacking around the world."

She nodded and took my most prized possessions from me and tucked them into the shoulder bag she was carrying, looping the strap over her neck protectively and carefully bucking down the straps. I felt a little pang of loss as she tucked them away, I think she might have noticed because she jumped up from the wall and wrapped me in another hug.

"I'll put them in the hotel safe as soon as I get back, and I'll make sure they get home safely. I promise Ems, I won't let them out of my sight when we're travelling back."

"Thanks Eff," I told her happily, returning her hug.

"That's ok Emily, and I'll even risk my own relationship by making sure Katie doesn't try to 'borrow' your earrings as well."

"Like I'd dream of doing that," Katie replied indignantly. All three of us looked at her and she looked at her feet as she replied.

"Ok," she said sheepishly, "but I wasn't really thinking of doing it, though there's probably going to be a really big party at some point during the next year; you know at Uni and I thou..."

"No Katie!" we all said together, causing her to pucker her lips in hidden amusement. I think I've mentioned this before, but we really don't give Katie enough credit for who she is and how intelligent she can be, twisting us all around for her own amusement. I just hope that her future in nursing will help her demonstrate to absolutely everyone that thought she was shallow and vain, what the real Katherine 'Katie' Fitch is really like; the one that I always knew was in there; the one with 'smarts'.

All too soon the taxi arrived, and we were putting our bags into the boot and waiting to leave our friends once more. It was a sad time, but a happy one as well, knowing that we were all sorted, all happy, and the next stages in our lives were now underway. There wasn't a need for further goodbyes, we'd said all that needed to be said on the beach, well we'd said everything that needed to be said then. It doesn't really matter if we missed something though, I have a feeling that the four of us will never truly be apart; as long as we have family and friendship to keep us close, no matter how far the distance in actual miles may be.

"Oi Campbell," Katie had shouted as we climbed into the taxi and gave the driver the destination. "You never told me if you liked my present."

"I'm saving it for my birthday Katie," she'd replied sweetly, "I thought you'd like to know that I was opening it on the right day."

"Well let me know what you think," she'd shouted as we started to pull off, "have a good time you two, keep in touch."

We waved our goodbyes as the car hurtled down the hotel's short drive and lurched like Kieran's old Lada onto the tarmac of the main road. As we sat back in our seats I felt Naomi's eyes boring into me and turned my head to look at her.

"You ready for this Ems, this is where it all gets weird."

"How's that babe?" I asked her, wondering what the cryptic comment could mean.

"I've no plans from now on, I've got no idea what we do, or where we go from now on. It's a strange feeling to be this free."

"You scared by it Naoms?"

"No, strangely enough," she said taking my hands and squeezing them. "So far it's kind of liberating."

"You're your mother's daughter right enough babe," I told her, "Mum will be really proud of your newly found bohemian streak."

"Probably," she replied cheerily settling back into her seat as we rounded a corner at a speed that was close to hair-raising. "I guess one day I'll just have to ask her."

I simply smiled back. I don't need to ask her, I know exactly what Gina would tell her. She would tell her the same thing she's always tried to tell her in her own unique way; how proud she is of her daughter, and how much she loves the person she's become.

I think, on that point, we both agree.

o+o+o

_Naomi_

There is, I've gathered, a definite way to travel on Indian trains; and it isn't this one. Though we have, at least, avoided the jam packed misery of second class at rush hour we're hardly comfortable for what is going to be an eleven hour overnight trip. Fortunately for us it's not as crowded as it could be here. Everyone, well nearly everyone, has got a seat; there's only a few people that are standing, or rather sitting in the aisles.

For our next trip up to New Delhi we've arranged for a booth on an air conditioned carriage, sounds like luxury and after this trip it probably will be, but all it really means is a few extra quid on the ticket and the ability to pull over a privacy screen to hide us from the corridors and the rest of the people. Personally after chatting with the guard that came around to check our tickets I'm prepared to look out for the real first class berth if we can upgrade; that one's got a proper door, and I'm discovering that there's something terribly romantic about trains.

Still there's no chance of being in any way romantic here, as we sit in a carriage that, despite the evening rolling in, is hot, stuffy, uncomfortable and filled with smells.

It's also pretty genuine, and nothing like the air conditioned luxury, the tourist bubble we've been surrounded in for the last couple of weeks. This is where the holiday becomes an adventure; I guess this is, for me at least, where the real trip begins.

'_Jesus, I've only been here for twenty minutes and I'm already sounding like a travel bore, one of those annoying people that go on and on about seeing the 'real' India without ever leaving their plush hotel and _seeing_ the real India.'_

Gods strike me down if that ever happens, or indeed if I find myself sitting around a coffee table with my mothers friends discussing how much India changed me, how my 'frontiers of awareness were expanded' or some other crock of shit like that.

India has changed me, probably will continue to change me, but not in any spiritual way; it's just made me _feel_ more and there's nothing mystical about that, not unless the red head that's precipitated the change is in some way divine.

But then of course, I guess she is.

o+o+o

We'd only been on the train for an hour or so when Emily dozed off. I couldn't help a slight smile to myself as I turned to speak to her only to find her head propped against the window she had been looking out from, staring at the landscape as it swept by. Seriously that girl can sleep anywhere at any time; I swear she's going to fall asleep when we're making love one day, and on that day I'll probably have to nip off and shoot myself.

Not in the slightest bit sleepy and with ten hours still to kill on our overnight journey I stood carefully from my seat to reach my bag, trying not to disturb the snoring Emily, or fall over as the train sped down the track towards Mumbai. Carefully I dug out the pen and spiral bound notebook that I'd bought in the little tourist shop by the station, along with the envelopes and stamps I needed for the correspondence I'd planned for the journeys ahead. Sitting down again I made myself as comfortable as I could on the less than plush seat and began scribbling away.

'_Hey Cook,_

_Greetings from India, well greetings from a train in India, 'cause that's where I'm writing this from._

_Look, I know I said I'd write and I haven't until now, and I know it's been a while since we came in to see you but it's been a bit mental here. It took Emily twisting my arm to write to my mother let alone anyone else but I promise I'll try and keep in touch more often. Did you find out if you can use e-mail there? If you can, drop me a line to the e-mail address I told you about, that way I can find out how you are. There's no chance of getting a written note to us, I have no idea at all where we're going to be and when. Ems and I are going to be a couple of hobo's for the next few months, certainly until we get down to Australia or New Zealand._

_I hope you can use the computer for e-mail and the like, because Ems is uploading our holiday snaps to our account and I'll give you the address so you can see where we've been, if that's not too cruel; it can't be fun hearing about this kind of thing from where you are, but at least you'll be able to see what we've been up to._

_If you can't get Karen, (I assume she's still coming in to visit you), to get in touch with my mum, she's living at the house now and I'm sure she'll pass any messages on. Either that or get her to pass a message to Katie and she'll do the same. In fact Katie's not a bad plan, at least she knows how to send E-Mails, I'm sure my mum still struggles with dialling numbers on the bloody phone. Honestly she's useless sometimes._

_Right, so here's a quick update. We left the UK to floods of tears from family and friends, naturally all disappointed to see me leave. Got into a huge argument at the airport because we thought that they'd managed to fuck up our flight and we ended up being upgraded to first class because some idiot flagged Naomi Campbell as a VIP, (nice eh?). So after flying in the lap of luxury all the way to India and changing flights in Mumbai we ended up in a nice all inclusive within walking distance of the beach._

_We had a pretty uneventful stay, well apart from a small bout of 'Delhi belly' for me courtesy of a curry that knocked me about for a day or so. Then we transferred to a posh hotel for Emily's birthday which was just perfect. Katie came over to see Ems courtesy of her new partner and that was pretty special as well._

_We've had such a good time over the last few days and I managed to make every part of her birthday work, or at least I think I did. See Cook, sometimes planning is a good thing; if it makes someone special happy. I think I can make 'making Emily happy' one of the main points of my life you know? I never thought that I could be such a sentimental twat!_

…_and yes Cook I totally know you're laughing your arse off at this bit, but you know what..?_

_Fuck you! :) _

_Anyway to wrap it up, we left Katie in Goa where she's finishing off her holiday before starting Uni in Bristol and get this, Katiekins is going to be a nurse. Like seriously, Katie Fitch is planning on studying nursing and is deadly serious about it. Bet you didn't expect that! I know I fucking didn't._

_So apart from all this we're all alive, well and positively flourishing, I'm having a pretty good time considering I'm stuck on this train for the next ten hours trying to get __back__ to flaming Mumbai, the place we originally landed._

_So that's what we've been up to, hope it's what you wanted to hear about, though if it was the graphic details of our sex life you were expecting then I'm afraid you can go swing for that, though I'm sure you're probably making up a ton of shit to share with the guys you're in with. If you are, I don't want to know, in fact I'm not sure if I should let you have access to our photo collection, I'm not sure what you might do with them!_

_There will be trouble if I find you've done anything dodgy with them, I do not want to hear about you printing them off and selling them to your sex starved mates to wank over. In fact, I think I'll make sure the ones with Ems and I in are stored somewhere private, probably password protected as well...think about what those shots might contain :p._

_No actually don't, just don't...ugh!_

_Hope things are well with you babe, well, as well as they can be stuck in there. I hope Karen is still coming visiting and that she's not abandoned you. Hope you've managed to see that little brother of yours as well, he was kind of nice when you brought him over that time. Most unlike you he was, well he was quiet for starters._

_Hope you can get in touch somehow mate, I'll stick mum's address in with this letter so you can at least write to her so I can get an update on how things are if all else fails. _

_Miss you Cookie, I'll write to you soon._

_Naomi.'_

It took me the best part of an hour to get my thoughts down on paper, scribbling and crossing out before finally getting a version I was happy with. It's weird, but as much as I can just say things, it takes me ages to write things down. I'm forever tweaking and changing my words, trying to sound less like a dork and more like a normal person. It's so different to how I work when I'm writing college essays and things like that; the personal stuff takes me fucking ages.

I turned to the back of the notebook, inverting it, and began scribbling my own thoughts, my own little diary of events. I've always wanted to keep a travel log or a diary, perhaps publish it somewhere; though I've never done anything interesting enough to warrant writing down. Well, apart from document everything to do with me and Emily, in song titles and then in iTunes, that is; but who the fuck would ever want to read about that?

Finally finished, I sat back in my seat, tearing out the pages containing my letter before sealing my notepad, looping the elastic holder around the binding.

I pulled an envelope from the pack and carefully slipped the pages inside, licking the gum and sealing down the back. I stuck on the Airmail stamps to ensure it would get to Cook at some point this century and wrote the address that still filled me with pain every time I saw it.

'_Prisoner 14908712 _

_Cook. James_

_D-Wing_

_Her Majesty's Prison Bristol_

_19 Cambridge Road  
Bristol  
BS7 8PS_

_United Kingdom'_

Done, I slipped the pen into the spiral comb that held the pages together and stood to put the whole lot back into my bag; wrapping them in the sealable plastic bag and zipping closed the side pouch before easing myself down into my seat once again. Casually I looked across towards Emily to make sure she was still ok; and found myself staring into a beautiful pair of brown eyes.

"Shit, I'm sorry Ems," I said quickly, "I didn't mean to wake you, I was just writing to Cook before I tried to put my head down for a bit."

"It's ok Naoms, I wasn't really sleeping, I was just dozing that's all. I was waiting for you to relax so I could use you as a pillow."

I didn't believe her, I can tell when she's well away and even in the stuffy, overcrowded carriage that we're stuck in for the next nine hours of travel time she had been fast asleep, head pressed against the window where she'd dozed off watching the landscape. Casually she twisted around and placed her head onto my shoulder, using me like the pillow she'd described. We were careful to keep our gestures as 'friendly' as possible; we had agreed that we'd play down our relationship in public now that we'd left the cosmopolitan area that was Goa where we knew we'd probably be ok.

This was a trip into the real India, away from Goa's tourist hotels and tolerant attitudes. In the real India we didn't really know what to expect, but we were intent of having a good time together, being who we were without offending anyone or breaking any laws, We'd done our research before leaving and knew where and how to behave. This, I'm sure, wouldn't be seen as anything out of the ordinary, just two foreign tourists falling asleep on the train.

I am making sure we pay the extra and book a compartment for the next train journey though, there are still far too many people in here for my liking, and apparently this carriage is practically empty.

"By the way," Emily told me from her comfortable position as she drifted off to sleep, once again rocked like a child in a cradle by the motion of the train. "I meant to say earlier, on the beach when I was extolling your virtues, you were right you know, you are insecure; but you don't have to be. You're fucking perfect to me Naomi Campbell, and you make me happy every fucking day."

She put her finger to her lips and stealthily kissed it, before lazily reaching up and pressing it to my lips, before smiling and snuggling down into my side.

"Love you Naoms," she whispered, her eyes firmly closed.

"I know," I told her, so softly I hoped she could hear it over the noise of the train. "I love you too."

The gentle smile that graced those beautiful features told me all I needed to know; she'd heard me.

.

.

.

**A/N -** Phew, so thirteen chapters in, and I've reached chapter 4 in my original plan...gods I'm useless. Time to get this story back on track, now that the whole Goan birthday thing is over and done with. Hope you all liked that slight diversion (-:

Oh and as to the start of this chapter, and to answer any questions you might have...yes it is possible! No it hasn't happened to me personally, well not from Emily's perspective anyway. No I don't know if it's possible for you or your partner, but the percentages are against it...I'd suggest trying it out one lazy Sunday morning, what's the worst that could happen?

LOL


	14. Trouble In Paradise?

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer** – I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent, despite what people tell me, proven by the writer's block I've been suffering.

Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame).

**Authors Note **– K I know it's been ages since I updated this, and it's hurt me more than it could ever hurt you. I have been horribly blocked though, and no amount of writing other stuff has worked to clear it.

I shall dedicate this chapter to the official "smut-mistress" _vangoghgurrl_ for beta-ing it for me after I deleted the original 3K and started all over again. Thanks for helping me get my head back M, much appreciated.

Anyway, here goes chapter 14, enjoy (-:

**Chapter 14 - Trouble in Paradise?**

_Emily_

"Oh _fuck_ you Naomi, why don't you just _fuck_ off!"

"_Fine_, I will. I'll see you later hun, when you've stopped being a fucking bitch."

She spat the word 'hun' as I'd only heard it said once before, not with love, not with passion but with hurt and with a little bit of anger. We've been bickering since we arrived and as much as I want to blame her I know it's my fault.

o+o+o

Welcome to Mumbai, well not really. The minute we got off the train it was bedlam, like a constant wall of noise that assaulted your eardrums and battered all of your senses simultaneously. I don't like it, not one little bit.

"It's fucking mental isn't it Ems?" Naomi said as we stood shoulder to shoulder outside the station. Her eyes were shining with glee, this is the India I think she wanted to see, not the pre-packaged, touristy luxury of Goa, that happy little bubble that we've been locked away in for the last couple of weeks; this is the real India, the raw India, it's a lot to take in. Mumbai was like nothing I could explain; and right now, to me, it seemed like hell on earth. Paradise fucking Lost!

We'd arrived after the eleven hour train journey only to find that we couldn't book a direct connection to New Delhi. Well we could, but we couldn't book our own compartment; couldn't even get _into_ the sleeper carriages they were all booked up. The only option we had was similar to the journey getting here, and I couldn't face thirty six hours on a train without my own space, so reluctantly we booked tickets for the next day; on the half nine at night train.

_'Great, nearly two days to kill in this hell hole, and we've got nowhere to stay'._

"Come on hun, find a hotel or something; dump our stuff and go exploring yeah? Find something for breakfast, I'm starving after that trip, you must be ravenous!"

Naomi dragged me off by the arm, heading out into the screaming city. I can feel my nerves tensing ever tighter as we walk through the streets. Everything is so different, everything is so strange. I thought I'd found the pace of India in Goa, how fucking wrong I was...

..and I'm hating every minute of it so far, every fucking minute.

I don't think it helps that I'm tired; despite my efforts I never really got to sleep on the train, not real restful sleep anyway, as comfortable as Naomi shoulder might be. Tired makes me grumpy, tired and stressed and unhappy makes me grumpier.

I guess my dreams of travelling the world are just very different to the reality I'm faced with today. For the very first time on this trip, I wished I was at home in Bristol, even if it meant sleeping on the floor at the new, tiny, Fitch residence. I wanted to be anywhere but walking around bustling Mumbai with a rucksack on my back looking for something to eat and somewhere to stay...

...and not having much success with either.

Somewhat fortuitously we bumped into a group of backpackers from Australia as we stood and looked at a the fifth hotel in half an hour, wondering how expensive this one was going to be. They gave us the name of the place they were staying down the road, and directions to find it. They helpfully told us it was cheap and cheerful and with a nod of thanks we headed off to follow their directions and see if we could get a room, or even just a bed for the night. Sleeping on the streets of Mumbai not being something I was looking forward to.

o+o+o

It didn't look like much from the outside, the Anjali Inn, but inside it was ok, not that I was prepared to admit that. It wasn't the Marriott by a considerable margin, wasn't even as nice as the all inclusive we'd stayed in before my birthday; but we at least managed to get a private room, despite the fact that we were early for check in. Most importantly it didn't exactly break the bank, considering everywhere we'd looked at so far in Mumbai cost a fucking fortune to stay in, hostelling seems to be the way to go if we want some privacy but still stay cheap. I made a quiet note to find a computer at some point and find out if there were similar places on our route, it would be good to know that we were going somewhere _and_ we had somewhere to sleep.

Our check in done, Naomi took our room keys and we headed up the flights of stairs to our room; the only real disappointment being the twin beds we were faced with when we arrived. The room seemed clean and the air conditioning was running; even if it was making enough noise to wake the dead. Not that I think that was going to bother me when I actually got the chance to put my head down and finally sleep. I looked at the bed with envious eyes and it was with tired arms that I struggled with my pack once more.

"Here let me help you with that," Naomi said as I felt the weight disappearing off my body as my rucksack was lifted from my shoulders.

"I don't need help Naomi," I snapped; the frustration and helplessness adding to my general malaise; "I can manage on my own you know."

"I know that Ems," she said soothingly, her soft voice scraping on my taut nerves. "But why struggle if I'm here to help you?"

She's being reasonable, I know she's being reasonable but it's not helping. Angrily I kicked the rucksack into the corner of the room and threw myself onto the bed, grabbing a pillow and pulling it over my head.

"Hey babe, you ok?"

"No, not really."

I felt the bed dip as she sat down next to me and peeped out from under the pillow to surreptitiously see what she was doing. Carefully she lifted my hand, cradling it in her own, stroking the back with her thumb tenderly.

"Anything I can do to help hun?"

"No, it's fine," I snapped back at her, actually enjoying the hurt that flashed across her face.

"Ems, you don't have to bite me you know," she said defensively, "I'm only trying to help."

Not the right thing to say Naomi Campbell, not the right tone, not the right anything, not today.

"I _know_ Naomi, but I'm not a fucking _baby_ you know. I can look after myself."

"Yeah I know but..."

I'll be fine, Naomi just leave it ok?"I said throwing off the pillow and getting up, snatching back my hand. "Let's just fucking go and get something to eat or something."

o+o+o

We eventually found somewhere that I was prepared to eat, having turned my nose up at every suggestion Naomi had made as we walked around. The golden arches being a welcome sight after we were battered by the overwhelming smell of spices as we walked. I like spices as much as Nai does, but I really can't face them on an empty stomach, not today anyway. I think she's a little disappointed that we're hitting somewhere so Western, for someone that was worried sick about travelling, I think she totally wants to immerse herself in the different cultures. It's kind of annoying because _I_ was the one that originally wanted to do this, _I_ was the one that thought a gap year would be good for us.

Now _I'm_ the one that wishes we'd just gone to university as planned and hadn't bothered travelling; but I'm hoping that's just down to the mood I'm in.

"Usual Ems?" Naomi asked cheerily, nodding up at the board, "I think we've missed breakfast." I smiled weakly and nodded; leaving her alone at the counter, heading to a table and shrugging off the rucksack that seemed to weigh more than I did. Kicking my feet against the metal table leg, I sat and played with the straps; waiting for my food.

Five minutes of boredom later Naomi appeared, smiling away, and placed a tray full of food down in front of me. I picked at the nuggets that she'd brought me whilst she struggled out of her rucksack; barely even registering her difficulties.

"You ok Ems, you look knackered?"

"Yeah, I am. Didn't sleep very well."

"Could have fooled me hun, I thought you had your eyes closed the entire journey."

"Yeah well I didn't," I snapped. "Sorry," I added as she looked over at me in shock. "I'm just hungry and tired and I'm not feeling very well."

I felt her hand touch my thigh and rub it gently, while I welcome the affection, it's not helping much. I munched my way through the meal in silence, not wanting to talk in case I lost my temper again. To her credit, Naomi seemed to recognise that I wasn't in the mood and simply got on with eating whatever the fuck she'd bought herself, leaving me to sulk in peace.

Eventually though we had to move on, head back out into the madness and try and make the most of our stay in this place. It is, after all, a new experience, and by the looks of things Naomi wants to experience as much of it as she can; I shook my head as I watched her taking in our surroundings. _'Fucks sake, I've created a monster.'_

"Are you ok hun?" she asked me as we walked along the narrow roads of the bustling city. We were obviously in the heart of an industrial area and it was hot and crowded and sticky and it was making me feel worse than before. Deciding to put a brave face on things I linked my arm with hers as we walked along.

"I am now," I told her, lying through my front _and_ back teeth. "I'm sorry for being a total funsponge this morning babe, it's just..."

"I know," she told me, giving me a disappointingly 'friendly' squeeze as we walked. "You're tired, we've fucked up our plans and it's a arse-ache. I feel the same way."

"It's not that," I told her, "It's just...I was exhausted when we got here and then there was all the noise and the people and everything. It's just a bit of culture shock; I'll get over it. I think you spoilt me in Goa babe."

"Give me a chance and I'll spoil you everywhere Ems, you know that," she said, spinning on her toes and pulling me into a, much more agreeable, proper hug. "Look, why don't we go sightseeing for a bit, then maybe we can go back to the hostel and grab a nap or something. Then later on we can go out, get a drink somewhere and have something decent to eat tonight yeah? Perhaps after that we can go back to the hostel sit down and plan out what we're going to do when we leave. That way we can try and be a bit more organised when we get to New Delhi; how does that sound?"

"Yeah, whatever, sounds ok to me." I tried to be encouraging but I really wasn't feeling it if the truth be told. I felt, rather than actually saw, her shoulders sag and she stopped dead in her tracks and flopped down onto a low wall that surrounded a warehouse of some kind.

"Ems?" she said looking up at me from her makeshift seat. "Talk to me hun, if I've done something to piss you off I'd rather you told me so I can at least try and apologise, I don't know what I've done to upset you, but let me at least make it right."

I stood looking up at the sky for a moment or two, before sitting down next to her and putting my hand on hers.

"Naomi, it's not you ok? I'm just feeling a bit bleugh that's all."

"Do you want to go back to the hostel? We can forget about sightseeing, go and grab that nap. I could do with a shower if the truth be told, and you're looking shattered baby."

I thought about it for a second and then made up my mind.

"Fuck no, less time we spend _there_ the better, it's a fucking shithole."

"Well it _was_ the only place available Ems," Naomi said, sounding a little hurt at my harsh words. "Unless you want us to blow our budget totally. You _know_ this place costs a fortune to stay in, that's why we said we'd move straight on. Even the 'shithole' is costing a little more than we hoped for."

"I _know_ Naomi, I _know_ how expensive it is here, I was _there_ remember? Fucks sake I'm not _fucking_ stupid you know."

"Fine," she said getting up and walking away from me, "I'm going back to the hostel to get a shower; do what you want Ems. You usually do."

o+o+o

We made it back to the hotel without any further arguments, using the simple expedient of not looking, touching or talking to each other. When I finally forced open the door to the room I threw myself onto 'my' bed, pushing my face into my folded arms, doing my best to shut everything out, to shut _her_ out.

"Emily hun, what's the matter?" she asked softly, squatting down next to me and putting her hands onto my back.

Honestly? I feel like crying, all I want to do is bury my head in the pillows and sleep away the rest of this fucking day. I want to take a cricket bat to the air-con and get myself some peace and quiet. I'm angry, I'm frustrated, I'm tired, I'm homesick and I'm travelsick; and all of that is what was responsible for what happened next. At the sound of her voice everything inside me seemed to explode. It was a perfect storm of emotions and I just let everything out; and, without a moment's hesitation, I let rip at her.

"Oh _fuck_ you Naomi, why don't you just _fuck_ off!"

I could feel her looking down at me, I felt her hands jump slightly at the venom I'd just spat at her. I could hear her breathing as she sat there, slow and steady, as if trying to stay calm. I felt her hands life from me, removing both their warmth and the uncomfortable clamminess that their presence made in the insufferable heat, air-con or no air-con.

"_Fine_, I will." she snapped back at me suddenly. "I'll see you later hun, when you've stopped being a fucking bitch."

I heard the door open and then close again almost immediately; I heard a loud sigh and felt the bed dip as she sat down next to me and the warm, sticky, press of her hand on my shoulder as she leaned down to kiss the back of my head.

"I fucking _love_ you Ems," she said with a catch in her voice that betrayed the angry tones she'd been using a second or so ago. "You know that don't you? But I think we need a bit of time apart before one of us says something we'll really regret, you know? I'll see you back here in a few hours, call it five o'clock yeah? If you want, we'll go and get something to eat together then. If you go out, stay to the main streets and I'll do the same; so neither of us needs to worry too much about the other ok?."

She kissed me once more, pressing her body against my back and wrapping her arm across me, squeezing my shoulder. I felt the mattress raise as she climbed off the bed, followed by a rustling in her bag. As I blinked back tears I heard her zip something up and walk across the room towards me, drawing the curtains before walking towards the door as I continued to ignore her, almost playing dead on the bed.

"I'll leave you in peace then Emily, if that's what you want. I'll see you soon. Love you."

I could hear the anger and hurt in her voice, I know I should call her back, but I can't. Nothing about me is working at the moment, I don't feel like myself and I know I'll just make it worse. So, like a coward, I stayed silent; and waited for the sound of the door opening, and then closing once more.

o+o+o

The seconds turned into minutes before I managed to pull myself out from my protective little bunker, to sit up and look at the aftermath of my pettiness. Part of me hoped that I'm find my girl sat on her bed, silently watching me with those searching blue eyes, waiting for me to pull myself out of my funk. I knew it wouldn't be the case though, and as I adjusted to the dim light I found it to be true; she'd gone, fucked off and left me alone. I can't help myself from scowling as I realised I'm alone, I mean I know I told her to fuck off, I know I wanted her to go, but seriously? She supposed to know she should stay, not just run away again. I wanted to scream in frustration, curse her for her arrogance, but inside I know it's my fault; I pushed her away.

I ripped off my travelling clothes and threw myself onto the bed once more; pulling the sheets over my naked body and the pillow back over my head. I can feel my eyes prickling as I lay there, and it was with a sudden onrush of tears I cried myself to sleep.

It was a couple of hours later when I woke to find myself alone still. I looked at the watch she had bought me for my birthday last year and realised it was late afternoon already. I was feeling better, but not feeling brilliant; I think my guilt was sitting too heavily for me to feel anything but bad. Naomi hadn't come back, we're in a strange city and I'd told her to fuck off; what kind of a fucking bitch am I?

I lay on the bed for ages wrestling with my conscience before finally making a move. Deciding that getting dressed, grabbing a towel and finding the showers in this place was most definitely in order, thinking that Naomi was right about needing one and fervently hoping that a nice hot shower would make everything right with me again. Pulling on my travel-worn clothes once more and feeling decidedly icky as a result, I grabbed fresh underwear and a clean T-Shirt from my bag, picked up the room key from the side and left.

Happily the showers were clearly labelled, and despite the water pressure sucking I managed to get nice and clean. The hot water did a good job of easing the aches from my body, the ones left by the travelling that is; there wasn't much I could do about the ache in my heart, not at the moment anyway. I stayed under that water until my mind finally cleared before drying myself off, getting dressed and heading back to our room. I couldn't help but feel disappointed as I opened the door and found it exactly as I'd left it, somewhere in my brain I had hoped to find her back where she belonged.

Not happening Emily, not happening today, you're luck isn't that good.

I walked over to my bag and grabbed my purse, slotting it into a pocket and buttoning it closed. I left a quick note for Naomi on the side in case she came back and I ventured out into the hostel, pretending to myself that I wasn't looking for her.

My pretence lasted all the way to the front desk where I ended up asking if anyone had seen her, the answer...no. Not for a few hours. The staff were really helpful, one of them remembering that she'd been talking to a group of backpackers earlier on, before leaving. I could feel my shoulders sag as he spoke, I'd really fucked up this time.

Not wanting to go outside into the mayhem that had sparked all this off I wandered around the hostel, finding the one lone computer for the free internet I'd seen a sign for. I thought about using it, but couldn't be bothered waiting around for it to come free so I ended up heading back to our room. Halfway along the corridor I gave myself a little mental shake and decided to grow the fuck up. Turning on my heels I walked back out into reception and out of the front door and out into the city.

o+o+o

_Naomi_

_'Hello fucking Mumbai, what a fucking pleasure it is to be here.'_

_'Does that count as running?'_ I wonder as I sit in the back of the taxi heading towards Mumbai itself. Well I mean towards the main part of Mumbai, because we're very much on the outskirts here out by the station and the airport.

Not that I care very much, about the running part that is; to be honest I'm pissed off, and hurting. All those usual, familiar, feelings that come with a relationship with Emily fucking Fitch. We're hot and cold she'd once told me; she's fucking right, one of us is. Very fucking hot and then very fucking cold.

I get that she wants space, I guess that she's fucking annoyed about something but Jesus, there's no need to talk to me like that is there? I mean I was only trying to see if there was anything I could do for her.

Fuck my life...again.

I settled back in the seat, anxious to push it to the back of my mind. There's no sense in dwelling on it, and fuck all I can do about it right now; hopefully she'll get a few hours sleep while I'm away and that'll be the end of it. We'll go out, have a good time and put it behind us.

Still pisses me off though, just a little bit.

Anyway, I've had an idea for while I'm on my own, something I wanted to do when I first thought about coming to India, something I wanted to do alone. In the end I'd never suggested it, we weren't coming to Mumbai, not to visit anyway so I wouldn't get the chance. I guess now I have, I guess now I've got nothing else to do with my time.

I told the taxi driver what I wanted to do, and who with and he drove me to the centre of a busy area and pointed me at a building. I paid him, having a pretty good idea how much it should cost thanks to the guys in the hostel, and after a small argument over the bill I was heading inside.

"Hi there," I said to the woman on the reception desk, "my name is Naomi Campbell, and I'd like to see if there's a tour anytime soon."

She looked me up and down before answering. "There is, or rather there can be. How many people would it be for?"

"Well just me actually, I was hoping to tag onto another party."

"I'm afraid there isn't another party until tomorrow afternoon, if you want to come back for that I can book you a place."

"I'm leaving tomorrow," I told her, pretty disappointed actually. "This was an unexpected stopover and I wanted to make good use of my time."

"Well then we will just have to do it today then won't we? We will be another half hour to see if anyone else arrives like you and then we will be off."

I couldn't stop the grin forming on my face as I handed over my cash and sat down in the office to wait.

o+o+o

Forty five minutes later and I can barely manage a smile, let alone a grin. My tour guide has took me across a bridge into one of the poorest and yet most populous areas of the world; the Dharavi slum.

My guide, Ram, is a long time resident of the slum and now guides tourists around the place, it's popularity increased since movies like 'Slumdog Millionaire' and 'Slum for Sale' brought its name to the attention of the rich Western tourists; looking for a bit of movie glamour and finding only misery. It took me ten minutes to convince Ram that I wasn't an observer like that.

"Ram, back home I'm going to study politics, I'm involved in all sorts of organisations. I'm not looking for a movie set tour, I want to find out everything I can about this place, so I can learn." I told him as we crossed the stinking river, filled with effluent and all kinds of waste. He didn't seem convinced, not until I actually showed an interest in the people and their lives that is.

"Haw many people live here Ram?" I asked, staggered by the crowds. There were people literally everywhere you looked, on every conceivable level.

"Miss Campbell, " he said, adamantly refusing to call me by my first name. "It is sad but no-one really knows how many people live here," he told me as we walked down a street filled with coloured pots. "It is estimated that there are between six hundred thousand and a million people live here at any one time. Rents are cheap you see? Mumbai is a great city, but it is expensive one and who can afford that?"

He guided me from place to place, pointing out factories and shops where the cheap goods for the west are mass produced. "People work long hours but they provide a service, they provide clothes and shoes for here and the rest of the world. They are proud people, not beggars and thieves like some people would like to paint them. See, we make beautiful things here; it is not all misery."

He pointed out a roadside stall selling colourful headscarf's and I couldn't resist buying one for Emily, it was a beautiful rich blue and blue is definitely her colour. I didn't have the heart to haggle over the price, pushing a note into the vendors hand. It was almost embarrassing, something that would have cost a lot of money back in the UK cost the equivalent of mere pennies here; yet that note would probably feed a family for the day.

as we walked around the streets, Ram told me of how times had improved for the inhabitants, how electricity and running water had gradually eked their way into the slum, and how the value of the land was increasing year on year.

"It is not a good thing though," he told me sadly. "Until recently this was still an illegal slum, most of the inhabitants are technically squatters, most of the buildings are illegal. The Municipal Commissioner wants the land to be redeveloped, they say if Mumbai is to become a truly world class city the area needs to be demolished and we all have to move."

"Is that because of how much the land is worth?" I asked sensing that in a world of apartment blocks and high rise office buildings that this space in the centre of the growing city would be incredibly valuable.

"They say not, but that is what we suspect," he told me as he led me away from the streets. "What do you think Miss Campbell, have you learned anything to take back to your course next year?"

"I don't know Ram," I told him honestly, "I see so much that needs to change, so many things that are simply unjust; but it's more complicated than just clearing it and building anew. Where will these people go? What will they do? I mean this is their livelihood, their homes. It's a slum yes but it's also a community."

I looked at him sadly as he smiled at me, "if anything, I've learned that it's not as easy as I thought."

"What isn't Miss Campbell?" he asked as we crossed back into the city 'proper' and back towards the office.

"Making a difference. That's what I want to do you see? My mum brought me up to want to make a difference for people; but the easy solutions aren't always the right ones are they?"

"No," he said nodding at me, "you are right they aren't. But I'm glad that your journey has not been wasted. Sometimes making a difference is as simple as taking a tourists money so we can spend it on things for the community. If we can educate them along the way, then so much the better."

"So you're a charity then?" I asked, a modicum of guilt easing from my conscience at taking the tour.

"We are, just a small one though. We take people around, show them what they want to see and they pay us. We take out the expenses we need to operate and we put the rest back into Dharavi. We buy buildings, or provide clothing, or food to the desperate; education wherever we can, that sort of thing. We try, like you, to make a difference."

I simply nodded and continued in silence, the images or the tour burned into my mind, my thoughts racing.

"Thank you Ram, for the opportunity to learn." I told him as we approached the building, the tour ended. "It's been a real privilege, I mean that."

"No thank you Miss Campbell," he replied, "it is nice to do one of these tours without mentioning Danny Boyle, and being able to actually talk about the place where I live. Goodbye Miss Campbell, I wish you luck for your future."

"You as well Ram, keep on making a difference."

He smiled and turned away, walking up the steps to the office with a lightness of foot that belied his years. I couldn't help smiling back, here was a man that was doing exactly what I wanted to do with my life, and he wasn't doing it with placards and protests. He wasn't shouting at crowds with a megaphone, he was simply doing what he could to make people's lives better. In a way, I envied him that, envied him that simple existence.

o+o+o

I was in my own little world for the taxi journey back to the hostel; totally lost in thought. Not of Dharavi; I'd put that behind me. I was thinking about the more pressing issue of dealing with a pissed off red head. Dyed her hair might be, but she often had that fiery temperament that was associated with the colour; and judging by the mouthful I'd received before I left, that fiery temperament was in full swing.

Still I do like a feisty Emily, I just don't like an angry one. Too many bad memories of angry Emily, too many cheap shots taken in the name of love.

Nothing else for it though, I'm not running away from this shit, we're going to deal with it because that's what we said we'd do. I've given her space, now it's time for us to face up to whatever's wrong and sort it. That's the plan anyway.

I was surprised then to find the room empty when I arrived back at the hostel, the bed Emily had obviously decided was 'hers' unkempt, the covers everywhere. As I straightened the sheets and sat down on the mattress, I noticed a note folded and placed on the pillows of 'my' bed. I leaned over and grabbed it, lying back into her pillows and reading it through.

_'Naomi,_

_If you're reading this then I've obviously missed you. I've gone out for a bit, if I see you I see you. Wait for me here, we need to talk._

_Emily'_

Well isn't that just short and to the fucking point? 'If I see you, I see you', 'wait for me here' Fuck you Emily Fitch, Jesus. Is it not bad enough you told me to fuck off earlier for no fucking reason, now you're leaving me _notes_ that tell me what to do. No fucking way, not today.

I scrunched the note up into a ball and threw it onto her bed as I stood up. Well I _wasn't_ going to just sit around like the good little wife and wait for her to come home; she could fuck right off. I rooted around in the cupboards until I found a clean towel and, with a handful of dry clothes and a washbag, went in search of the showers.

"You need to tweak the unit a couple of times," an Australian voice called out as I put my hand onto one of the communal shower doors. I turned around to see one of the group from this morning stood at the other end of the room.

"Sorry?" I said, not getting what she was on about.

"The shower unit, needs turning off and on a few times in order to get the pressure up, if you don't you'll only get a warm drizzle; if you're lucky that is, if you're unlucky you're getting a cold shower."

"Right, thanks."

"You and your friend, you're new in town right?"

"Got in this morning, hoped to travel straight on but couldn't get a compartment on the train. Only staying the night."

"Cool, you guys want to hook up and go for a drink and something to eat later?"

Friendly or over friendly, I couldn't decide. Normally I'd assume she was being a pain in the arse and send her on her way, but then they had been helpful to me and Ems this morning, so perhaps it's nothing more than a backpackers thing.

"I...er..I don't know," I replied. "Need to see what my g..my friend wants to do, she's gone out."

"Right, well if you decide you want to, give us a shout; we're usually hanging around in the reception area waiting for everyone to arrive. See you later perhaps?"

"Yeah, sure...perhaps." I said to her disappearing back. Are all backpackers this friendly, is this what _I'm_ supposed to be like?

I put those disquieting thoughts to the back of my mind and headed into the shower cubicle. Stripping down I played with the shower unit until, as promised, a powerful jet of warm water cascaded into the base, swirling down the drain. Standing under that glorious stream, I allowed it to wash the hours of travelling and the slums of Mumbai out of my hair and my skin. I'd been feeling grubby all day and wandering around the streets of Dharavi hadn't made things better, obviously, and the shower was a blessed relief. I poured a copious amount of shampoo onto my head and scrubbed away until my hair felt squeaky clean again, then I grabbed my shower gel and washed myself down thoroughly, feeling refreshed for the first time since Goa.

I allowed myself the luxury of relaxing under that steady stream for a few minutes, before reluctantly turning it off and stripping the water from my body with my hands before towelling myself dry.

I have to admit, as I sprayed deodorant and pulled on clean clothes, I was feeling much better. Though I was still quite angry at Emily for the way she'd been behaving. Returning to our room, I looked once more at the scrunched up piece of paper on the bed in front of me and made my decision. I grabbed my essentials and the room key and walked out, heading down to reception to see if there was anyone to talk to.

Perhaps it's time for Naomi Campbell - backpacker - to make some new friends. Screw you Emily Fitch, and screw your fucking note as well!

o+o+o

_Emily_

I wandered around the crowded bustling streets for a while, just thinking; thinking about the things I'd done and the things I'd said. I tried to kid myself that Naomi had overreacted again, that she was just being a drama queen and everything was her fault as usual.

I tried to believe that, but I failed. The reality is simple, I was a bitch to her from the moment we got off that train this morning. It's not her fault that we weren't organised enough to book tickets in advance, it's not her fault I was tired and cranky. I should have listened to her, should have tried to push down my grumpiness and behave properly.

But instead of taking that rational option I snapped at her again and drove her away; I guess I can see why she wants time away from me, Jesus if she had spoken to me like that then I'd probably be pissed off as well. I certainly wouldn't want to talk to her, so why would she want to talk to me?

So where does that leave me? Now I'm alone, in a strange fucking city, surrounded by people who don't care about Emily Fitch and her fucking problems, and there's fuck all I can do about it.

Fucking makes me mad though, that she'd just piss off and leave me alone like that.

As I wandered through town I saw a sign that made my afternoon, _'International Calls Here'_ it read in plain English and a sudden idea popped into my head. I glanced down at my watch, _'no it wouldn't be too _early' I thought and I pushed my way through the doors and into the building; it was like a weird post office from the past, an Indian Brigadoon I didn't care about that though, by some miracle I had an opportunity to cheer myself up and I took it.

Fumbling in my purse with the still unfamiliar currency I bought a phone card and headed into a booth to make my call; hunting through my bag for the book that contained the number I'd wrote down on my birthday, and made the call.

_"Hello?"_ came the voice at the other end as finally it connected.

"Hi Dad, it's Emily."

_"Emsy, to what do I owe the pleasure of hearing you voice on this sunny morning?"_

"I was feeling a bit homesick dad, wanted to hear a familiar voice."

_"What's wrong Emsy love, you're not sounding like this is a simple phone call."_

I sighed, was I really that obvious?

"No dad, you're right. Naomi and I have been fighting and I needed someone to talk to that would make me feel better."

_"Well I'm glad you called me then love, what were you two fighting about?"_

I told him what had happened, and what I'd said to her and what she'd done. In the end he let out a big sigh; _"Oh Emsy, you've royally fucked up haven't you?"_

"Me?" I asked him, a bit shocked actually, I was hoping that he'd take my side, expecting it really, even though I knew he was right.

_"Yes _you_ love, don't you think you're being just a little bit harsh on poor Naomi?"_

"But she was being a cow."

_"No Emily, she was being there for you; you said it yourself she was only trying to help. You've admitted you were pretty short with her for no reason, so she's only reacting to how you were behaving. To be honest love, I'm not surprised she's walked off on you; I think I'd have done the same. You've got a terrible temper on you sometimes Emsy, I think Naomi probably wanted to give you some space. Though you can tell her that she and I will be having words about leaving you alone in a strange city."_

"Dad..."

_"Emily you need to sort this love, only you can do it. You've fucked up and it's time to say you're sorry and fix things. Look, I'll tell you a secret yeah? This is what I do when your mother and I fight, and believe me she knows how to fight that woman. Anyway, what you've got to do is focus on your last happy memory, not your happiest memory cause that's in the past, but the last time you were with Naomi and you were happy, really happy. Can you do that love?"_

I thought about it for a second or two, the very last time I was really happy with Naomi, yeah...I can do that.

"It was on the train down here dad, that's when I was last really happy. I felt _so_ close to her then."

_"Well hold onto that thought love, keep it foremost in your mind, then no matter what happens that's what you know you want. Trust me, it's worked with your mother for years."_

I felt a pretty warm feeling wash over me as I thought about our surreptitious snuggling on the train, where I managed to burrow myself into her shoulder. Even though I didn't get any proper sleep out of it I had felt really close to her right then and there. Dad's right, that feeling is what I want, and I plan to hold onto it with both hands

"So what do I do now dad?"

_"Emsy you know what you've got to do, you're going to have to wait for her to come back to the hotel and you're going to have to suck up that pride of yours and make things right between you."_

I sighed, always the port in the storm my dad, always the one to offer sage advice about me and Naomi when I need it the most, even if I don't really want to hear it.

"Yeah dad, I know; it's just..."

_"I know kiddo, but you need to do what's right. Look this call must be costing a fortune. Where are you staying love, give me the phone number and I'll call you back at lunchtime if that's ok?"_

"I don't know the number dad, I...I just sort of went wandering and found this post office place where you can make calls. I bought credit for ten minutes."

_"Well that's almost up love. Look, you know what you have to do and I know you can do it all you have to do is believe in yourself. It's not as if either of you isn't used to eating a bit of humble pie now is it?"_

"No but..."

_"No buts kiddo, you're my flesh and blood and I know you'll find a way to sort things out. Are you a Fitch or not?"_

"I'm a Fitch dad, of course I am."

_"Then act like one Emsy love, go and wait for your girl and show her everything's ok, remember that moment You can do that yes? Hold onto it tight, no matter what she might say to you out of hurt."_

"I will dad. Dad?"

_"Yes love?"_

"I love you."

_"I love you too sweetheart, now..."_

The line went dead, my credit expired; it didn't matter, I think I'd said all I needed to say, for now anyway. I can tell him the rest at a later date.

It was good to hear his voice, good to have that connection back home, but for now he's right. I need to have a connection where I am. I need to find Naomi and make it up to her.

o+o+o

I walked back to the hostel, nearly losing my way twice and missing the opening to the alleyway it was hidden down. It really isn't the nicest neighbourhood to be walking around and I'm glad that the sun is still shining; I think I'd be terrified if I were walking around here at night on my own. Walking into the reception area I got the shock of my life; sat, bold as brass in the tiny communal area, laughing and joking with a crowd of people was a blue eyed blonde, _my_ blue eyed blonde. My Naomi, who has obviously found herself a new bunch of friends and is having the time of her fucking life. I caught her eye as I walked through the hallway, gave her a glare of contempt as I scanned across the small group of lads and girls she was with, and then I walked away; stomping back to our room and locking the door behind me.

How dare she, how fucking dare she? I was all ready to find her back in our room, waiting for me. I was all ready to apologise and promise not to be such a crabby cow again; and there she is, fucking having a whale of a time with all her new friends. As I kicked my bag across the floor I tried desperately to follow Dad's advice and hold onto that happy memory, me and her, on a train with nothing to worry about in the world. The one before I fucked it all up with my petty little rant; the gods honest truth is that it's hard to hold onto that happy memory when you're faced with your jealousy.

I've always been jealous of Naomi, well jealous about Naomi. You can't love someone that much and not be jealous; you just can't.

I was about to throw myself at the bed when the handle of the door rattled; someone, no prizes for guessing who, is trying to get in. Within seconds I hear the turning of a key and the door opens to reveal her. Stood framed in the doorway like a picture and a little bit of my heart just melts.

"What the hell was that for Ems?" she asked, the hurt in her voice evident as she closed the door behind her.

"What was what for?" I asked, my hackles rising at her tone.

"That, that fucking look when you walked in just now. What the fuck was that for?"

"What, am I not allowed to look at my girlfriend now, not when she's sat with all her new friends."

"What?" she said incredulously, "is this what this is all about? I've been sat there waiting for you to come back. I just happened to be talking to those guys, is that a crime?"

"Where have you been anyway?" I barked at her, changing the subject back to her again; the up swell of emotions driving me ever onwards.

"I could ask you the same thing," she spat back; standing in front of the closed door with her arms folded in front of her chest, pushing her tits up slightly, making them even more impressive.

_'Fuck what, where did that come from?'_

"Yeah well I asked first," I said sounding like a five year old and not really caring.

"I got a taxi into town if you must know, went walking, saw some sights I didn't think you'd want to see."

"Oh really."

"Yes fucking really Emily; what the fuck is this? Do you just _want_ to have a fucking row about something? Are you _deliberately_ trying to piss me off? and what was with that fucking note, who the fuck do you think you are? You're supposed to be in love with me Emily, not trying to be my fucking owner."

I can feel my heart racing as she let rip, all of her pent up aggression boiling to the surface. Fuck me I love it when she goes off on one like this. I used to stand, hidden in crowds at protests, and watch her brandishing a megaphone like a weapon; shouting and ranting to anyone that would listen, and to a fair few that wouldn't. Giving heartfelt speeches to raise awareness of everything from the cruelty of animal testing to the injustice of Student Fee's. God I loved watching her do that, so impassioned she positively glowed. Just like now. I've seen so much of the fluffy Naomi, the caring Naomi over the last few weeks; I've forgotten just how sexy a properly angry Naomi is.

Feeling a warmth flooding my body I could control myself no longer. I crossed the room as fast as my legs could take me, driving me towards her like a bull in a china shop, a force of total destruction. I saw a flash of fear pass over her face as I stormed up to her, my anger and lust totally overwhelming me.

With one quick step I shoved my leg forcibly between hers, enjoying the sound of the surprised grunt that issued from her mouth as I shoved her backwards, forcing her up against the door; feeling the flimsy wall shake as her back impacted against it.

"What the.."

Before she could speak further I grabbed her by the hair and dragged her head down to mine and smashed my lips against hers. There wasn't anything remotely passionate about it, well not in our usual way, this was me totally letting go and unleashing the animal that lurked under the surface whenever she was around. I could hear it growling in my head as I pulled at her hair so hard I heard her yelp. Using this to my advantage I pushed my tongue into her mouth and fought against her struggling.

"Fucking hate you sometimes," I told her, as I pulled back for breath, "fucking love you though."

"Emily," she managed to say breathlessly before I pulled her in hard again, twisting my fingers in her hair, allowing her no escape from my mouth as it sought to engulf her, to take in as much of her as it possibly could. She groaned again as she began to grind against my leg, moving her hips to rub herself against my bare thigh.

"Shut the fuck up Naomi," I told her, releasing her once more, and stepping back to look at her shocked face. "This is not a time for fucking talking alright, get on that fucking bed now."

"Who the fuck are you giving orders _to_ Fitch?" She said, shoving me backwards, directly towards the bed I noticed through my lust fuelled rage. I took another step closer to her and grabbed her by the arms; yeah she might well be taller than me, but I'm a little bit stronger and a lot, lot fitter. I pushed her up against the door once more pinning her arms by her head before standing on my tiptoes and teasing her lips with my own.

"I'm giving _you_ orders Campbell, now do as your fucking told."

With a lurch I spun her from the wall and practically threw her onto the bed, diving on top of her as she landed. What ensued couldn't really be called lovemaking, we were both far too worked up for that. No, what we did on that bed in that hostel in India was fuck like animals, hard raw sex fuelled by nothing but pure desire. We practically ripped the clothes from each other's bodies; tops, shorts, even walking boots were pulled off and flung headlong around that room, landing fuck knows where. At one point I managed to pin Naomi down long enough to unfasten her bra, sitting up in triumph only to find that she'd done the same thing to me.

We fought and wrestled on that tiny little bed, arms and legs flailing as our animals ran riot. The scratching of nails and biting of teeth were liberal in their usage as our own private wrestling match enfolded. Liberally employed by both of us, because believe me this was a mutual event; I'm pretty sure that, before the end, I'm going to have bruises and welts and bite-marks that will last me for weeks if not longer.

I don't care though, because I'm gone, totally gone. Lost in lust, adrenaline coursing through my veins, every bite, every scratch laying claim to the body beneath me, labelling it as mine and mine alone; immersing myself in that glorious power, only to be flipped and claimed as hers in kind, glorifying in that moment of submission. Eventually I managed to gain the upper hand, or the lower hand I guess you could say. Cupping her, I managed to distract her for a second; and using that moment to my advantage I managed to pin Naomi's arms behind her back and roll her so they were under her, pushing down with my body to make it difficult for her to escape.

"I'm in charge now Campbell, and I'm telling you not to move." I told her biting down on her earlobe, flicking at her stud with my tongue. "Because I am going to fuck you through this bed, through the floorboards and halfway back to fucking Bristol."

I felt her stiffen under me as I spoke, or perhaps that was because I bit her ear, or her neck, or her shoulder. Keeping her pinned to the bed I nipped and nibbled my way down her body, reluctantly moving on from her tits far earlier than I would have liked, totally intent on following through on what I told her I was going to do.

I didn't need to touch her to tell that she was already ready for me, I could smell the arousal, my animal senses running in overdrive. With a throaty growl I slipped my hand between her legs once more, possessing her utterly, my fingers now claiming her as my own, curling and twisting and flicking and rubbing. Making her dance for me, dancing the samba of sex, the lambada of lust, the foxtrot of fucking.

I could hear her groaning as I pumped my fingers in and out of her soaking flesh, felt her bite down hard on the idle hand that I'd moved over her mouth to stifle her cries, stared into the black pits that were her eyes, normally that rich vivid blue.

I _owned_ her right there and right then, I could do _anything_ I wanted to her and she would deny me nothing. For one moment I held Naomi Campbell in the palm of my hand, literally and figuratively, body and soul, and it made me feel so fucking good I can't tell you.

I stared into those eyes, glaring down at her as she convulsed beneath me watching with an unbridled joy at the effect I had on her. Then, as her eyes opened once more I placed my thumb firmly onto her still sensitive clit and leaned down again.

"That was the bed Campbell. Next step, through the fucking floor."

"No." she said breathlessly as I stared down at her.

"No?" I replied, challenging her with one raised eyebrow.

"No," she said firmly and then all illusions of my control were lost as she ripped her arms out from under her and grabbed me; flipping me onto my back and straddling me, my arms tucked firmly under her knees.

"Not this time Fitch, because this time I'm going to make you go fucking blind."

With an athletic, almost gymnastic flick of her body, she was between my thighs, her hands now holding my wrists firmly, daring me to escape. I struggled in vain against her vicelike grip, but at the first swift swipe of her tongue I gave myself up to her. She can perform miracles with that tongue of hers, miracles to me anyway. I'm totally possessed, and as she buried her face deep into me I know she could do anything to _me_ right now and I'd totally let her, encourage her in fact.

She owns me.

We own each other.

o+o+o

Later, as we curled up together, attempting to cage the rampaging beasts that we had lost control to, trying to quell our desperate breathing; our passion, our anger, for the moment completely spent, I found myself having a fit of the giggles. To my distinct lack of surprise Naomi joined in.

"Fucking hell Emily, where the fuck did that come from?"

"No idea babe, just when you went off at me I couldn't help myself."

"Yeah, about that hun, I shouldn't have yelled like that; I was just angry you know?"

"So was I babe, I'm sorry I've been such a bitch to you today, you didn't deserve it."

"I'm sure when the bite marks have faded I'll be able to forgive you Ems."

"What about the scratches?" I asked her, rolling over to face her.

"I can't feel them as much Ems," she said casually.

"I meant the one's on _my_ back actually," I told her, rolling onto my belly so she could see them.

"Yeah," she said tracing one with the pad of her finger, the one that ran from my shoulder blade all the way down to my arse. "When they've faded I'll be able to forgive you as well."

"Oi," I shouted, shoving her, making her wince from where a loose knee had caught her in the ribs, causing a dark purple bruise to appear already. "Sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

"It's ok hun, it's only pain. I guess I'll have to get used to it if that's how you're going to deal with our arguments."

"I don't want us to argue Nai," I told her honestly, "but if we are going to get mad at each other, I hope that's how we deal with it in future."

"Discovered a liking for angry sex have we hun? You might want to be careful with that wish Ems, what if we'd have got this angry somewhere public?"

"Then I might have to relax my 'no sex in toilets' rule, might have to add 'unless it's angry sex' to the end, you know?"

We giggled together like schoolgirls for a bit, as the afternoon turned into early evening, and my eyes began to close. I felt Naomi shuffle her shoulders, getting more comfortable and then felt a kiss on my forehead.

"What was that for?" I asked as exhaustion swept over me once again.

"Because I love you," she said kissing me again, and that was enough for me.

Katie told me last week that make up sex with Effy was one of the best parts of their relationship. Well if she causes an argument with Effy just so they can make up, she's missing out a fabulous step, as my brain began its post-coital switch off I debated whether to tell her about Naomi's 'Angry Sex'.

Nah, fuck it, one day she can discover it for herself, then I can smugly tell her that I've been there, done that and ripped off the T-Shirt; I know she'll be so happy to hear that.

o+o+o

I woke from my doze to find Naomi looking at me, still squeezed into my single bed; arms and legs wrapped around me. It's nice, very, very nice in fact, it's another happy memory to tuck away like dad told me to do, just in case.

She smiled at me as I opened my eyes, blinking as the light assaulted me.

"Hey you," I told that glowing smile, basking in its warmth. "What you doing?"

"Nothing hun," she replied, leaning forwards slightly so she could place her lips on mine. "Just watching you sleep."

"You do that a lot Naomi, sometimes I think it's just a little bit creepy."

I didn't mean it though, I could never mean it. I love waking up and finding her eyes on me, looking at me as if I was the most precious parcel in the world.

"Yeah, I do hun; but it's only creepy if you wake up and I'm holding a pillow over your face."

I can't help but snigger at that ludicrous statement and cuddle into her even more, reassuring myself with her continued presence in my life. As we lay there, just holding each other, just enjoying being together once more, a sudden thought flashed through my mind and left me with a burning curiosity. One that I needed to have an answer for.

"Naomi, before...you said you went to see sights you didn't think I wanted to see. What were they, where did you go?" I asked, in truth just slightly upset that she thinks that there are places that I wouldn't want to see with her, wouldn't want to share with her.

"I went to see parts of the slums babe, you know, the real fucking shitholes where the _real_ people live and work, and fuck, and fucking die. I went to see the shitty places because I need to know just how bad the world can be and I don't want you to see that with me."

"Why not Naoms, why don't you want to share that experience with me?" I asked, absently stroking her arm and staring into those baby blue eyes, the ones that are, for some reason, suddenly filled with pain.

"Because I don't Ems, because it's crap, because it's mankind at its worst. There are all these people that need our help and we're doing fuck all about it. We sit around and procrastinate while the rich get richer and the poor, well they just die in squalor. We spend billions on things to kill each other with, or to spend on fast cars and pathetic luxuries and we haven't got the humanity to look to our neighbours and help them. I hate that about this world honey, I hate the hypocrisy and the misery. I don't want you to know that world Ems, you're too _good_ for that world; I want to wrap you up in bubble wrap and protect you from all the shit that we do to each other in the name of profit."

"You can't wrap me up Nai, I've got to experience this stuff too you know?"

"I fucking can Ems, I'm going to spend the rest of my life protecting you from all this shit."

I'm pressing my lips together to stop them shaking, trying not to cry at the sentiment of the simple statement that means the world to me. Not the wrapping up part, well not totally, but the fact that she wants to spend the rest of her life protecting me from stuff. I know she hasn't thought about it, she's not saying it for any other reason than it's true; and to me, that's fucking beautiful. She keeps doing this to me, she keeps on saying the right things without even realising that she's doing it. That's how I know we're real, that's how I know we're forever.

Finally, I got my emotions under control and managed to speak. "You don't have to do that Nai," I told her, reaching out to run the backs of my fingers down her cheek as she fixed me with that intense stare of hers. "That's not what we're about."

"I do babe," she told me, her lips twitching slightly, something obviously amusing her. "Your dad told me that before we left. He told me that you were my responsibility now and I was, quote, _'to wrap you up in cotton wool and protect you from the shite'_"

"That's so like my dad, bless him. What did you say to that babe?"

"Told him I don't like cotton wool because it makes my tongue go all funny. Asked him if bubble wrap was a suitable alternative."

"I hope he told you it was," I said pulling her even closer to me, and brushing my lips across hers; "because I'd hate you to wrap me in _anything_ that makes that tongue go all funny. That would be a tragedy."

.

.

.

**A/N - **All mistakes are mine, all guilt is mine. Hope it was worth your time, and the wait. I'll try not to get my head so messed up again.

See you soon, Es


	15. Home Again

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer** – I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent, despite what people tell me, proven by the writer's block I've been suffering.

Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame).

**Authors Note **– OK so as you probably know life went to shit after chapter 14 and writing the fluffy stuff wasn't top of my agenda, but I still have a story to tell and things I want to get out so here we go with Chapter 15, I'm trying to get back into the swing of things so forgive me, and forgive that I'm going back to the original premise after the diversion that was the twins birthday. Anyway...here goes nothing.

Not 100% about this, but hell when am I anything else? Enjoy.

**Chapter 15 – Home Again**

_Katie_

"Welcome home babe!" I shouted as, with a grunt, I tossed my suitcases onto the bed; watching as the mattress sank under their weight, both of them right on the allowable limit for our flight. Effy simply stacked her smaller, but still crammed full, cases next to the wardrobe and stood smirking at me.

"What?" I asked as her amused eyes fixed on mine.

"Nothing, just thought it was funny that's all."

"What was funny?" I asked, somewhat confused as to what she meant.

"You, welcoming me home. In case you forgot Kay I've been away _with_ you, it's not like I left you at home and went on holiday."

I performed my very best fake scowl at her and strode over wrapping my arms around her waist and she sniggered at my face.

"I realise that babe, I've just spent a fabulous week in the sun with a fabulous person. I'm not likely to forget that in a hurry."

"Yeah, Emily's wonderful isn't she?" she said her best 'I don't care' look plastered over her face. It's ok though, I know how to wipe that look off her face now.

"Elizabeth Stonem, you know full well I meant you." I told her, squeezing her a little bit too tightly and causing her to jump slightly in my arms.

"Ow, Katie, not so hard."

With the sudden desire to be a little bit naughty I pressed my lips to her ear and whispered, "That's not what you said on our last night on the beach."

To my surprise and delight the normally unflappable Effy Stonem blushed a pale pink and I couldn't help giggling like a twat at the sight.

"Oh fuck off Katie, stop teasing me."

"Babe I'm going to be teasing you forever if it gets cute little blushes like that."

She frowned at me and shoved me away, grabbing one of her suitcases and putting it on the bed. I pressed myself to her back, wrapping my arms around her and smiled as she ignored me, unzipping her case and pulling clothes out, throwing them towards the washing basket.

"University starts soon babe," I told her, not able to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

"Yeah," she replied simply, her unpacking suddenly stopping. "I guess real life begins then doesn't it?"

"Yeah," replied turning my head and rubbing my cheek against her spine, "I guess it does. It isn't going to change us though is it? We won't let that happen yeah?"

"Fuck I hope not Kay, are you worried about that?"

I am, just a little. She'd had a massive freak out when we were in India and it took the combined efforts of Naomi, Emsy and me to deal with it. We'd talked it all through, over those wonderful heady days after the girls left; talked about everything that was in that pretty but complicated head of hers and tried to move on.

"Only a tiny bit," I told her, trying to be honest with her. It was a decision I'd made after talking to Emily while we were away. If I was going to have a proper adult relationship I'd have to be honest all the time. It was strange, but the girl that I'd looked down on for never having a boyfriend, never having anyone in her life before Naomi, knew more about being grown up than I did. Talking with Emily, I'd come to realise that despite every relationship I'd had before, Effy was the first proper one I'd ever been in. The rest were exactly as she had once told me, nothing but show.

"Still worried about me?"

I squeezed her waist and nuzzled a bit closer, fuck me I'm becoming a sappy loser. "Only a tiny bit," I admitted again.

"I'll be fine Katie, _we'll_ be fine; it's just going to be difficult to start with I think." She twisted around in my grip to face me. "Not being together," she clarified as my face fell into an unconscious frown, "more the fact that we _won't_ be together if you know what I mean."

I smiled and nodded, I did understand. Ever since she'd turned up on Emily's doorstep that fateful night we'd rarely been apart. For the last few days we'd been lost in a loved up version of total isolation in Goa. We spent the full 24/7 with nothing to do but be together. Now the rest of the world was about to intrude, she would be going to one Uni and I would be going to another. We'd spend most of our days apart; I'd looked at my course information and there were a lot of long hours in my future. It was the same for Effy, it was going to be a challenge.

"But we'll deal with it, we'll just have to make time for each other," she said leaning down and kissing my forehead. Not for the first time I wished I was taller than she was so I could do the same thing to her when she felt nervy or scared. It never felt as good when I had to pull her down, even a little, to do it.

"We will babe, we _better_ fucking had anyway." I said, with just a hint of finality to my voice. It was a statement of intent and I meant every word.

"Ah," she said leaning back and smirking at me once more. "Katie _fucking_ Fitch, how I've missed your caustic nature; I thought you'd been replaced with Katie _fluffy_ Fitch."

"Never let it be said Eff, you may have changed me a little, but I'm still me inside."

"Still a bitch Fitch?"

"Still a clam Stonem?"

We burst into laughter at the memory of that day not that long ago, when we'd moved into this place and fell apart because we felt apart. The tension that we'd generated was broken and we held each other as we laughed. Everything was going to be ok, I just knew it, I could feel it in the air.

"Come on Kay, let's get unpacked and shove the clothes into the wash, then we can have something to eat."

"Do we have to Eff? I was thinking about having a nap in a bit, didn't sleep very well on the plane and I'm starting to feel it.

"Unpack first Kay, then have a bit of a nap. I'll look after the washing while you sleep ok?"

"Well I was hoping you'd join me, you know I sleep better with you around."

She smiled at me and gave me a squeeze, "I will Kay, but let me get some of our chores done first ok? That way I know they're done and I can properly relax."

"You've become very domestic Eff, it's highly disappointing." I teased her, secretly delighted that she was behaving like this. In my mind it meant that this was home, and she was happy; because surely, if she didn't feel like that she'd just be off and out and leaving it all for someone else.

"Well I hate to disappoint you Kay," she replied, "but I seem to have developed a sense of being house proud; and anyway, if I didn't do it, it wouldn't get done."

Her eyes flashed with merriment as she jabbed away at me good naturedly.

"So I'm a slob, you love it."

"No Katiekins, I love you, not your slobby nature." She pulled away from our embrace and slapped me on the arse. "Now come on, get your bags unpacked and lets get sorted."

"Yes Ma'am," I told her, I do like it when she brings out dominant Effy.

o+o+o

One washing spree, one sandwich and one lovely long nap later I'm feeling much better. Effy's hanging out the washing on the small airer on our little balcony; and I've dug out my laptop and connected our camera to it. I had the intention of downloading our images to the laptop, messing about with them a bit and then uploading them to the Flickr account we'd set up so we could share them with our friends.

That was the _intention_ anyway, to be totally honest all I'd done since I'd copied the photo's across was flick through them, using each shot to remember our first holiday together; and to remember just how fucking perfect it was.

"Katie, can you grab the other basket and put it in the washing machine please?" Eff called from the balcony. I put the laptop on the sofa and walked into the tiny kitchenette, picking up the plastic fold down crate we used to carry the washing around. Carefully I checked through the light load of washing, making sure an errant dark item hadn't hidden itself in amongst the clothes; it had happened to me before and no one in family Fitch had been happy at my attempts to 'help out'.

I loaded up the machine and set it to do a cool wash, straightening carefully when I was done.

"Thanks Kay," Eff said walking in behind me as I pressed the start button on our second load of the day. "It's a nice day out there, with that little breeze this stuff should be dry in no time."

"Yeah, then we get the wonder that is ironing, highlight of my fucking day that'll be."

"I'm sure the ironing can wait Kay, I'm not sure even I can face that tonight."

"Good," I said, relieved. "What's the plan for tonight Eff, we going out for something to eat, cooking or ordering in?"

"I was thinking about ordering in hun," she told me. "Don't feel like cooking tonight, don't feel like going out either. Thought we could spend a quiet night in front of the telly before we have to drink our livers into submission when we start Uni."

"Sounds like a plan Eff, I could do with some rest anyway, someone's been making me do domestic things today and that always wears me out."

I dodged the slap that was aimed in my direction and ran back to the sofa, picking up the computer and settling down again. Eff flopped down on the sofa next to me and leaned over to take a look.

"You sorted out our holiday snaps?"

"Just starting, I've been looking through them."

"Scoosh up then, let's have a look."

We spent the next half hour or so cooing over our photos, we had some great ones of each other and even a couple of really nice ones of us both, courtesy of Naomi and Emily and anyone else we could grab at the time.

"We should get some of these printed," I said as I came across one of me sticking my tongue out at Effy over a romantic meal at our hotel. "They'd brighten this place up a bit, it would make it a bit more 'ours' with a few pictures here and there."

"Good idea, we could go shopping for some frames or something tomorrow."

"Cool," I said happily. It's nice being able to be like this with Effy; and I really like the fact that she'll allow herself to be like this around me.

After a few minutes more of messing about, cropping images, deleting some that hadn't come out very well and moving one or two others to a personal folder; I opened up the internet and began uploading our files. As the images began the slow crawl to the Flickr account I opened my e-mail and looked through the messages.

15 from James, all of which were jokes or dodgy pictures he thought Effy and I would 'enjoy'.

1 message from Thomas telling me how Panda and him were doing in Harvard.

197 messages about Viagra, legal highs and how lucky I was because I'd won the lottery and just needed to send $200 to claim my reward.

1 message from Emily

I deleted the spam, glanced at James' messages before deleting them and read, with a grin on my face, Thomas' letter about how Pandora had been confusing the fuck out of everyone around her.

"I'm not surprised," I told Effy as she read over my shoulder, smirking at the story of Panda trying to order lunch in the cafeteria and eventually having to point out things she wanted. "I barely understood half of what she said once she got going."

"She just takes a bit of getting used to that's all. I hope she doesn't change that much living over there, I'd kind of like my old friend back when she's finished being a closet genius."

"You think she'll come home after Uni?"

"Hope so," she replied sadly, "I haven't got so many friends I can afford to lose any more."

I nudged her with my shoulder, trying to knock her out of the funk before she slid any further into it. "Look, we'll get a webcam or something, you can Skype her; keep in touch that way. It'll be like she's in the same room again."

"I doubt that Kay, she's always been larger than life. I doubt Pandora over a computer link would be half as much fun as Panda in the same room."

"True," I admitted, "but it's better than not talking at all isn't it?"

She smiled and nodded as I typed up my reply to Thomas, suggesting that they should Skype with us. Finally done, with a ton of interjections from Effy to Panda that I had to add, I hit send and sat back and looked at the inbox.

"Not reading Emily's e-mail?"

"I'm trying to hold onto it for a second," I said, feeling a little stupid at my admission. "I kind of like the idea of having the message, when I've read it, it's gone."

"Just read it you soft sod, you know you want to."

Eff swung her legs from under her and got up off the sofa, heading to the bedroom.

"Where're you going babe?" I asked, slightly confused. "Do you not want to see what Emily's sent us?"

"Thought you'd want to read it alone Kay, she's sent it to you so I thought I'd give you a bit of privacy."

"Don't be daft babe, come and sit down; I'm sure its been sent to both of us."

She walked up behind me and leant over the sofa, draping her long, lovely arms across my shoulders and around my neck.

"I need to have a fag anyway baby, so it's not an issue. Read it yourself and if you want, you can read it to me when I get back. I'm going to go out front so I don't stink up the washing."

She kissed me on the head, and I leaned back to get a proper kiss off her, holding onto her arms to prevent her from walking away without obliging. It's not like me, but I love kissing Effy, even with the faint taste of stale cigarettes it's something that still makes my heart race like no boy I've ever kissed. Not even Andy Foxton back in middle school and he was probably the best snog I'd ever had, well before Effy anyway.

No, there's something special about kissing Effy, Emily said it was because I was in love when I told her.

"Does she make your heart stop dead and race away at the same time? Does it feel like someone is electrocuting your lips and putting popping candy on your tongue at the same time? Do you just lose track of time when you kiss her; does it feel like an eternity and yet far too short simultaneously? Does it feel like that when you kiss her Kay? Is that what you feel?"

"Sort of sis, I wouldn't put it like that but it's a pretty good approximation."

"It's 'cause you're in love Katie, I know that's what it is because that's how it feels with Naomi every single time. Even when we were on the outs and I kissed her in the kitchen that time when you and mum arrived. I fucking hated her right then, and yet it still felt like that. Even though I didn't really want to kiss her and she didn't want to kiss me back, even though she knew what I was doing and why, it still felt like that for me. I knew then that I still loved her and it still felt right even though everything was so wrong."

"I don't think that's all it can be, it's got to be more complicated than that."

"There's nothing simpler and yet more complicated than love Katie. You're in love with Effy, for the first time in your life you're with someone that you're in love with. Now stop complaining and deal with it."

"I'm not complaining Emily, I know I'm in love with her."

"I know you know Katie, so stop over thinking it. You're in love, it feels great and that's all there is to it."

I'm still not sure that's all it is. I'm still not sure that explains it sufficiently; it's too simple, there's got to be more to this feeling than just love. She was right though, this is the first time I've been with someone that I knew I was in love with, Freddie and I being history long before I realised what I felt for him.

She's right about something else as well, it always is an eternity and yet all too short every time.

I still had my eyes closed as we broke apart, waiting for the inevitable peck on the lips that Effy always gave me before she left. Not feeling anything I opened them to realise she was leaning above me looking down.

"What?" I asked her as her eyes bored into me.

"You really are special you know that Katie Fitch."

"You're fucking right I am," I answered, smiling up at her and squeezing her arms with my own. "Which must make you pretty fucking special yourself."

"How do you work that out?" she asked as she leant down, gave me the peck on the lips I'd been waiting for and then untangled herself from me and stood up.

"Because you have me addicted to you babe, you've got me body and soul; that's why. If you weren't special you wouldn't have me."

"Nah, you're just a sucker for charity cases," she said winking at me as she dug her fags out of her bag and headed for the door. "Don't forget, I've seen some of your ex's," she called as the door slammed behind her.

I made a note not to let that one slide; not because my ex's weren't charity cases, because lets face it they were never really good enough for me. No, I needed not to let that one slide because I will not have my girlfriend put herself down like that. Not in my presence anyway.

With the sense of her loss hovering over me, I slid the computer back onto my lap and clicked on Emily's message. _'Greetings from India'_ it said in the title and I looked down to see what it said.

'_Hi Katie, Hi Effy,'_ it started and I snorted at the fact that it was, as I expected, addressed to the two of us.

'_Hello from the grand city of New Dehli._

_Thought we'd drop you both a line to see if you enjoyed the rest of your holiday and keep our promise of making sure you're kept updated on our little trip._

_Did you enjoy the rest of your time in Goa? _

_I hope you had a totally romantic time without us two there to cramp your style. I hope you have uploaded your pictures because we've uploaded ours now and there are some fantastic ones of you guys that Naomi took, including one that's really special; there's also a really good one of you and me in there as well sis, I need a copy!_

_Anyway we really hope you two had a fantastic time and that you're totally ready for those first weeks at Uni, you'll have to tell us how things go; Naomi and I really want to know how you both get on, and how much you drink in that first week!_

_My sister the Student Nurse, who would have thought it? I still can't get over it, can't tell you how proud I am; but I totally had you pegged for that Fashion course you wanted to do._

_So anyway, an update; this is what we've been up to since we left. We had a truly uncomfortable train journey to Mumbai; honestly, if you ever go back to India and decide to travel make sure you book a sleeper carriage. Standard class really doesn't bear talking about, the seats are so fucking uncomfortable it's untrue. Don't even think about having any privacy either, the carriages are rammed full. I was a total bitch to Naomi when we got here, we ended up rowing like fuck. Not a good day at all, still we're ok now and everything is rainbows and roses again._

_We over-nighted in Mumbai so we could book a sleeper carriage up to New Dehli and I'm so glad we did, it took us nearly thirty-six hours to get there and I think I spent most of the trip in bed, and before you think it no we weren't shagging the whole time; for starters the cots were too small and we were in bunk beds with vinyl covered mattresses, seriously not funny. Thank fuck for our kipmats and sleeping bags, thank fuck for air conditioning!_

_We've been staying in a hostel here which is actually quite nice. We got a twin room again, which isn't, but it's cheap and clean and we can get out and enjoy the sights. We've took a load of photos of everything. I think we might just fill all the space on our account before the trip is over, but we want to capture everything we see. This place is brilliant, and it's a shame we'd only planned to be here for a couple of days before we move on, there's so much to see here. I won't bore you here, you can see the pictures with the descriptions on the web, you know the link (-:_

_So yeah, this is our last night here, we're leaving tomorrow and heading off to see the Taj Mahal before travelling on to Kolkata. If we time it right it'll be close to Naomi's birthday then so I'll be able to ease her into the whole 'enjoy your birthday' thing either there or on whatever means of transport we end up taking to our next stop. At the moment we have no idea where we're going next, I hope we decide before we get there…any suggestions?_

_Right, I'm bored of typing this and Naomi's looking antsy, we're going out for some food and a few drinks to 'celebrate' our visit, only trouble is our train out of here is at eight o'clock in the morning and we're not close to the station which means a stupidly early start...I'm not looking forward to travelling with a hangover, that and the fact that we're both suffering at the moment; I guess we're synchronised if you know what I mean._

_Ah well, I'm sure a few drinks will make everything better, I just have to convince the piss-head that an early night is in order, trouble is at the moment I'm sure I'm as bad as her. _

_I'm going to run now before we start fighting again, don't forget to let us know about how you're both doing, and again don't forget to let us know how the first week goes, we're anxious for news._

_Love to you both…_

_Ems & Nai_

_PS did you hear from Panda and Thomas? We got a nice e-mail from them, sounds like America really isn't ready for Pandora Moon…poor Thomas._

_PPS Effy, Naomi says that you're to e-mail her properly sometime and not expect her to feed off Katie's second hand information, which is totally rich as she's getting me to type this._

_I'd better go, she's giving me the Campbell eye roll and I don't want to mess with a grumpy pre-menstrual Naomi, it's bad enough dealing with a happy one._

_Wish me luck!'_

o+o+o

Effy laughed from her usual position of head in my lap and feet over the back of the sofa as I perched the laptop on the sofa's arm and read Emily's e-mail back to her.

"So they've been rowing again," she said as I finished. "Glad to hear they're ok now though."

"Yeah, I think I need some more details on that, see if the silly bastards are properly sorted. I wonder what caused it, they seemed ok when they left us, disgustingly loved up."

"Well Emily said she didn't sleep well didn't she, if she's anything like you love, she's a bastard when she's tired."

I wanted to object, but I couldn't; she's absolutely right. I need my beauty sleep and if I don't get enough of it I turn into a right cranky bitch.

"Yeah, but they've been so happy together recently."

"Travelling always was going to put a strain on their relationship Kay, it's how they deal with it that's important. Naomi's going to have to be strong, because if Emily snores and drools as much as you did on the plane there and back…well."

I slapped her on the head with my free hand before she reached up and grabbed it, twisting her fingers into mine and squeezing.

"What are their photo's like Kay?" she asked finally after a couple of minutes of easy hand-holding intimacy. "Are there any good ones we should get printed and put up here?"

"Dunno babe, haven't looked at them yet," I admitted. What I didn't admit to was that I'd spent the entire time she was outside having a smoke reading and re-reading Emily's e-mail. It is worrying how much I actually do miss that badly dressed cow.

"Well come on then," she said swinging those long, lovely legs off the sofa and sitting up, tucking them elegantly under her bum. "Load them up then, let's have a look."

As I pulled the computer onto my lap and messed about with the keyboard she snuggled into my shoulder; watching my every move as I pulled up the girl's account and found the group of pictures they'd called 'Goa'.

"Start with the place we remember yeah?" I said opening the group at her nod. I was surprised to see a couple of extra groups in there, one was marked 'Private' and I desperately wanted to know what was in there, one was marked 'K&E' and I just knew we both wanted to see what they'd put in there. As my finger tracked the mouse over to the link I felt her hand touch mine.

"Not yet Kay, let's save those for later. Let's just look at the other pics first, then we can concentrate on the good ones."

Reluctantly I agreed, I know what she means, but I can't help being nosey like that. Quickly, before temptation got the better of me, I clicked on the first of the images and began scrolling through.

Most of them were your typical holiday shots. Either Naomi or Emily posing in front of something, lots of pictures of Emily eating which made me snort with amusement, and about a thousand pictures of that long, long beach.

"They really like that beach," I said as yet another shot appeared on the screen, this time with Naomi staring back at the camera, the water and sky making her blonde hair stand out.

"Takes you back doesn't it," Effy said squeezing my arm.

"Yeah, I'm more than a tiny bit jealous that they're going on travelling and we've had to come home though."

"Aw come on Kay, we have some great memories and we'll get the chance to go travelling again, we could go straight after Uni or something; put off having to get a job."

"Yeah, if we win the lottery or something," I told her. "The way these student loans are going to stack up we'll both have to work our way through Uni just to keep ahead without saving up to go travelling."

"We'll sort it Kay, don't you worry about that."

We sat for a bit longer before plunging into the inevitable, clicking on the folder with our initials and staring at the thumbnails.

"Wow," Effy said, sitting up straighter and staring at the screen. There were only a few images in this folder, but there was one that had obviously caught her eye. I knew exactly which one it was as well, because it had caught my eye too and my finger was already on the move to open it.

"We are getting that one printed babes," Effy said as it opened on the screen. It was nothing special, not something a photographer would get all excited about; just two people with their arms around each other sharing a kiss. In fact if we didn't just know it was us, it could have been anyone; the black silhouettes being almost indistinguishable as the sun set behind us.

But it _was_ us, to me and Eff it was _obviously_ us, and it was an image that totally summed up our holiday. Me and my girl, totally oblivious to the world and to the fact that Naomi was nearby taking a picture of us.

"I wonder when she got that?" Eff said, her voice soft and low.

"I'm sure she took it on my birthday, that looks like the view from their hotel anyway." I said as I found the note that the girls had added to the picture and opened it.

"Yeah, see." I said with a smug grin on my face as we read the note, "told you it was my birthday."

"Ok, ok...you were right. It doesn't matter when it was taken, it's still a great shot of us Kay."

"Yeah, we look like a proper couple there don't we?"

"We are a proper couple Katie, or at least _I _think we are."

There's a slight barb to her voice that I picked up on immediately, my case of foot in mouth disease has just kicked in again.

"I didn't mean that we're _not_ a proper couple Eff, it's just that...you can _really_ see it there, you know?"

I felt her shoulder relax against me and I stared down at the picture of the two of us kissing at sunset.

There we were, a proper couple. It made me really happy to see _us_ like that, like I'd come to see Emily and Naomi as, and been jealous of. Just for a second I wondered where those two were and what they were doing right now.

o+o+o

_Naomi_

"Well go on then, smile."

"Ems, I am smiling," I told her wishing she'd just take the damn picture before I fall off this ledge and into the reflecting pool, embarrassing myself and probably getting us kicked out.

"Naomi you look like someone has just taken away your ice cream babe, come on smile and I promise it'll be all over soon."

I'm trying, I really am, but it's not easy when she's set you up in front of one of the most iconic buildings in the world, next to a hundred other people all jostling to get the same, perfect shot.

"Hey Naoms; love you!"

I glanced up at the camera only to hear the fake shutter sound and see a pair of brown eyes appear from behind the little blue box.

"Works every time," she said happily as I walked away from the annoying tourist that had been jostling me for the last couple of seconds, scowling at them as I did so.

"Please tell me you go a good picture hun, I don't think I could go through that again."

"I got a _great_ picture babe," they always are when you're smiling like that."

She showed me the photograph on the tiny screen on the back of the camera; somehow, once again, she'd managed to make me look good. Though I guess the Taj Mahal in the background would make anyone look good.

"My turn," she said elbowing her way to the spot I'd just vacated and tossing her hair about adorably. it didn't take me a second to get a couple of great pictures of Ems, because every picture I take with her in it is great; how could it not be.

"Where to next babe," she asked bouncing over and taking the camera, slotting it into a pocket of her travelling trousers. We weren't allowed to bring much in with us for security reasons we'd been told, so we were travelling light; everything else left at the hostel.

"I guess we should get a bit closer hun," I said looking at the bright white building in the near distance. "It would be a real shame to come all this way and not actually visit the actual building."

I got a stern look and an elbow for my troubles, but it didn't take a genius to realise that she was just joking. The twinkle in her eye that had left for a while when we were in Mumbai was well and truly back, and despite the crap trains, the separate beds and everything else that had annoyed me over the last few days, because it was back I was loving every minute of travelling. Travelling the world with her, to think twelve months ago the thought of this had scared me shitless, now I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing.

Well I can, but this isn't the time or the place for that.

We walked down through the gardens towards the gleaming building, and I was becoming more impressed the closer we got; the attention to detail in the architecture was beyond impressive, and that's coming from an artistic philistine. Arty Emily next to me was positively glowing as she tried to take everything in.

Wow," I managed to say as we stood in front of the epic building, staring up at one of the arches in front of us, the inlaid calligraphy making the panels all the more impressive. "That is something else, no wonder it's labelled one of the wonders of the world."

"Yeah, this is my first wonder of the world," Ems said her voice sounding awed as her eyes scanned from side to side. "You can see why it's so revered, it's stunning; just look at the detail in those carvings, to think this was done all those years ago with none of the technology we have today."

"It's my second," I told her, "but yeah, I can totally understand it, it's almost as beautiful as my first."

Her head snapped around to stare at me, her mouth slightly agape.

"Hang on," she said folding her arms in front of her. "Your second? You said you hadn't left the country before we flew out, when the fuck did you see one of the wonders of the world?"

"I see it every day hun," I told her, trying desperately to keep the cheesy grin from off my face. "First thing in the morning, all through the day and last thing at night, without fail."

She looked at me confused and I smiled waiting for the penny to drop. She shook her head in confusion.

"You, you daft cow," I told her finally putting her out of her misery. "You're a wonder of the world to me. Emily Fitch, the eighth wonder."

I watched the familiar sight of an embarrassed and pleased grin work its way up Emily's face. I love putting that smile on her face, it usually appears when I make an effort to be extra sappy, or when I allow my brain to let a few thoughts out without running them through my usual 'bitchy cow' filters.

I've been getting better at doing that; she's made me better at it. Actually that's not true, she's made me _want_ to be better at it.

"Sometimes Naomi Campbell you annoy the hell out of me," she told me with the smile fixed on her face.

"Why? What did I do this time?"

"You say things like that and make me want to kiss you, in a place where you know I shouldn't be kissing you. _That's_ what you did this time."

"Well perhaps we'll just have to save the kissing until later hun," I replied smiling back. "Wait until we have a bit more privacy."

I looked around meaningfully at the jostling crowds that were threatening to invade our little moment of wonder.

"Besides, we came all this way, it would be a shame to get thrown out and not experience it properly."

"You know what they say this place is don't you Naoms? They say it's a monument _to_, or a temple _of_ love. Why don't we go and see it for ourselves."

"Yeah, why don't we."

So we did, and despite the wonders it held, despite the beauty we saw it didn't compare to the temple of love I'd built in my heart for the redhead next to me; but then really, what could?

.

.

.

**A/N - **All mistakes are mine, messed up head is mine, all delays are mine. See you all soon, off to work on another two stories now...

[wanders off muttering about vangoughgurrl and her daft ideas that get stuck in your head and won't go away]


	16. In SeaSickness And In Health

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer** – I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent, despite what people tell me, proven by the writer's block I've been suffering.

Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame).

**Authors Note **– Another fluff filled chapter and a few little nods to reviewers and twitterarti because they gave me things I could use. This should have been up at the weekend, but a good night out and a hangover kinda put paid to that.

So here you all are, we finally make it to chapter 16 and we're no longer in India...again it's all made up, so don't shoot me ok?

Oh and this one goes out to my mate Stunty who, as we speak is stuck on a RAF DC-10 heading down the New Zealand to help with the quake rescue. Go save some lives Stunty, it's what you're good at after all. Major credit bud, major credit! If any of you have friends/family caught up in that mess I hope and pray they're all ok! I'm sending positive waves down under just in case.

Anyway, the rest of you join me in sending positive waves to Kiwi-land and then I'll allow you to, hopefully, enjoy this little effort!

**Chapter 16 – In Sea-Sickness And In Health**

_Emily_

"Oh for fucks sake not again," I managed to stammer as I leapt up from the bed, leaving a sleeping Naomi behind me, and headed into the tiny bathroom. This is utterly fucking ridiculous, the stupidest fucking idea I have ever had in my fucking life.

I thought it would be romantic, a leisurely sea journey to our next destination, finding a boat in Kolkata that would take us across to Singapore. It wasn't easy but I'd managed it; after all I had been thinking about this ever since that night in the shed, had been planning it ever since it the night in the club when I first raised it.

It wasn't a luxury liner we were on, or even a tiny little boat, we were on a cargo ship, paying a fare to take a tiny cabin, roam the ship or spend time in the common area with the couple of other people that were travelling like us. In the old days they'd have called this type of boat a tramp steamer, but that conjures up the kind of romantic image that couldn't be further from the truth…

…to be honest the boat is a bit of a heap, but it was a cheap ticket to our next spot; and Naomi thinks it's excellent, she thinks it's got character, she fucking would…

She's not suffering from fucking seasickness.

For the last thirty six hours, since we left port in fact, I have been changing colour from my lovely suntanned brown, to pale white, to nuclear fucking green. I haven't been able to get out of bed without amplifying the dizziness and nausea. The worst thing is the crew tell me that this is actually _good_ weather, if I don't find my sea legs soon I swear I'm going to physically _die_ if we hit a storm.

So for the entire romantic fucking journey all I've been capable of doing is lying in our tiny bed, feeling like death warmed up, and getting up only to visit the toilet, brush my teeth, or very occasionally eat. At this rate I'm going to be so sick that my idea for giving Naomi a wonderful birthday when we get to Singapore will be an epic failure and that's not a thought that fills me with happiness. I wanted her birthday to be special, something to remember, I can't even get up so I can go looking on the ships computer for things to do in Singapore because of this stupid nausea…this is just fucking shit.

As I held my head over the, distinctly unattractive, metal toilet and retched once more I heard a rustling behind me and a hand gently stroked the back of my neck, pulling my hair back as I stared downwards, waiting for the next bout of nausea to rip through me like one of the fucking waves that's ruining my trip.

"Thanks babe," I muttered softly as she squatted down beside me and wrapped a long arm around my waist. "Sorry I woke you."

"Shush," she told me, dismissing my apology out of hand. "How you doing hun, you ready to come back to bed yet? Feeling any better?"

She'd been like this for the entire time. Leaving me only to get food for us, or for herself when I couldn't face it, or getting fresh air at my insistence whilst I tried to sleep. I'm pretty sure that somewhere between Bristol and New Delhi someone kidnapped Naomi and replaced her with someone else; someone who is actually even more wonderful that her predecessor. Someone I can't help falling in love with all over again.

Someone that's pretty wonderful actually.

I got halfway through my, attempt at saying "Yes, I'm feeling better now, thanks for caring," when the ship lurched down and to the side and I retched again and what I actually managed to say was "Yes, I'm fee…." before my stomach resolved to empty itself again. Not that there was anything left in there to be emptied, making things ten times worse.

Have you ever been so sick that your entire body hurts? Well if you've even been close, then perhaps you'll understand how I feel right now.

Finally, the need to vomit passed, even if the feeling of total nausea remained; exhausted I slumped back against the body behind me, feeling reassured by the arms that wrapped themselves around my shoulders.

"You ready to go back to bed now Ems or do you need to be sick again?"

I shook my head and groaned at the thought of moving; getting a squeeze of my shoulders in return, Naomi placing her head to rest on the back of mine. I could hear her breathing slowly behind me and I tried to relax and allow my body to match her calm, trying to allow my breathing to match hers.

"It's ok hun, we can stay here for a bit if you'd like, whatever you need ok?"

We sat in silence for a while, Naomi's fingers making reassuring patterns as she gently stroked me. I closed my eyes once more and tried to ignore the rolling motion of the ship. After about five minutes I felt like I was past the worst of it and tapped Naomi's arms and tried to stand.

"Hang on Ems, let me give you a hand up," she said and I felt her arms loop under my shoulders and begin to lift me up. Gratefully I allowed her to support me as another wave of nausea hit me.

"Here, hold onto the sink," she said, presumably noticing me wobble on my feet. "Do you need a glass of water?"

She handed me a plastic glass filled with cold water after I nodded my agreement and carefully I used it to swill out my mouth and spit it down the drain.

"Ugh, my mouth tastes like something curled up and died in it," I said smacking my lips together and grimacing, "and I must smell like shit as well."

"Well why don't you brush your teeth and have a shower hun?"

"Because it's stupid o'clock in the morning and I feel like fucking shit Naoms, I feel like I'm going to fall over all the fucking time."

I tried not to snap, but perhaps it came out a bit harsher, or a bit more petulantly, than I wanted it to. To my relief Naomi didn't seem fazed by my tone, she simply put her hands on my hips and stared at me via the mirror that filled the wall behind the sink.

"Then let me help you Ems, let's get you cleaned up and back to bed. I know it's late, well early actually, but you'll feel a hundred percent better if we do."

I stared back into those strong vivid eyes and smiled weakly, perhaps she was right, no of course she was right; and I nodded carefully and watched her face light up.

"That's my girl," she said not knowing how good those words still made me feel, "Let's get your wash kit and get you sorted."

I felt like a small child again as Naomi fussed around me, grabbing our toiletries whilst I carefully brushed my teeth. When I was done she gently slipped me out of the clothes I'd been wearing for bed and eased me into the tiny shower, carefully holding her hand in front of the showerhead until the water was at the right temperature before allowing it to fall onto my shattered body. Like a proud mother of her baby girl, Naomi washed me down as I clung onto the two solid walls of the cubicle for dear life.

This wasn't like most of the times when we showered together, using the closeness and the touching as foreplay. It was nothing like that at all, it was sensual, but it was more about caring, more about loving. She washed me down carefully, seemingly not concerned that she was being splashed through the open shower door, the cubicle being too small for the both of us. She soaped my body and my hair and I stood there and let her, happy for her to take control, happy for her to look after me; happy that she would want to.

When she had rinsed me down, she stepped forward, practically getting into the tiny shower cubicle with me, and ran her hands quickly over my body; slaking off the water before easing me out and wrapping me in a towel. I stood, shivering slightly as she carefully dried me off and led me back to our small bed; tucking me in before stripping and slipping in next to me, wrapping her long arms around me and pressing her warm body against mine.

"You going to be able to sleep now Ems?" she whispered softly nuzzling her head into my neck.

"I don't know Nai," I replied, feeling my stomach lurch as the ship rolled once again.

"Well try hun, you need some rest. If you don't mind me telling you, you look like shit."

"Thanks," I said closing my eyes.

"Don't mention it," she replied chuckling softly. Carefully, very, very slowly, so as not to disturb my delicate stomach again, I turned to face her, wrapping an arm over her waist and opening my eyes to look at her. As I stared into those beautiful blue eyes I had an overwhelming feeling of affection. That she would look after me like this was just perfect, that she would want to was exquisite.

"Thanks for doing this Naoms," I said as our brains exchanged entire conversations with the single twitch of an eyelash. "Thanks for looking after me, I feel so fucking useless."

"It's ok hun," she said stroking my cheek with the back of her hand before brushing my hair over my ear. "I'd do it anyway, but call it returning a favour if it makes you feel any better, you've done this for me a couple of times recently."

Without thinking my hand slipped up her body and cupped the back of her head, my fingers coming into contact with the slight hardening of the skin, the place where the faint scar line lay. She didn't say a word to me, just looked into my eyes with a slight smile on her face and blinked slowly, acknowledging that I'd understood her correctly.

"I mean, holding my hair when I had food poisoning can't have been pleasant at all."

She gave me a crafty wink and wriggled closer to me, tucking my head into the hollow of her shoulder and kissing me comfortingly on the top of my head.

"Now close your eyes and go to sleep lover," she whispered softly, "things will seem better in the morning."

o+o+o

Things weren't better in the morning, not really. I felt slightly better for the late night shower, and for the sleep that I'd managed to get curled up with Naomi; but I woke up alone once more and that coupled with the nausea didn't make me feel good.

I'm not pissed off she's gone, not in the slightest; especially as I glanced at my watch and found that it's nearly midday. I assume she's popped out for some air, or for something to eat, I also assume she'll be back soon, one of the more endearing things about Nurse Naomi over the last couple of days is that she's not been away from me for very long.

Deciding that enough was enough I lurched out of bed and into the bathroom, splashing my face with cold water and brushing my teeth. I couldn't face a shower, instead settling for a wash and planning on getting some clean clothes from my rucksack and getting fucking dressed. I might not want to go anywhere, but sitting around in my underwear and a t-shirt, like I had been doing for the last couple of days, is doing nothing for my self image.

I watched the water in the sink slosh back and forth as the ship lurched through the water outside, for some reason it seemed worse today, though my stomach wasn't doing somersaults like it had been doing yesterday. Buoyed by a newly found confidence I straightened and stretched out my stiff limbs.

It wasn't a good plan.

I plonked myself down on the closed toilet seat and tried to steady my breathing, bring my spinning system into sharp relief. _'Too much too soon'_ I cursed myself as I sat there wondering what I'd done to deserve this. I'd never been sea-sick before, fucks sake I'd been on lots of boats, big and small, with my family and I'd never even felt slightly queasy. This is patently ridiculous.

"Ems?" I heard a slightly panicked voice from the cabin, I couldn't help but breath out with a hint of relief as I realised Naomi was back.

"In here," I called.

"Yeah, I heard, are you ok hun?" I heard her call, her voice closer now to the doorway.

"Not really," I replied. "No!" I cried out as I heard the door handle drop and the door open. It stopped immediately at my cry and her concerned voice rang out again.

"What's the matter Emily, are you all right, fucking…ugh…tell me what's going on hun you're scaring me."

"I'm ok, just felt a bit sick again that's all; I've made a bit of a mess Nai, I need to clean it up."

The door opened fully and Naomi stood in the frame, looking down at me. "Are you ok Ems?" she asked and I nodded, my cheeks flushing with the embarrassment.

"Come on you, let's get you out," she said, extending her arm toward me. I shook my head and flicked my eyes to the puke which was dotted around the sink and the mirror.

"Let me worry about that Ems, you come out and lie down for a bit."

I tried to protest, but it fell on typically stubborn and, to all intents and purposes, deaf ears as she helped me clean myself down again. Once I was lying down and she'd fussed over me for a while, she headed off into the bathroom and I could hear her humming as she cleaned up my mess. A couple of minutes later she was sat next to me, with a look of concern on her face.

"I'm sorry for leaving you Ems, I've only been gone half an hour or so. I thought you were going to sleep through. I didn't want to wake you, it looked like you needed the sleep."

"It's ok Nai, I don't expect you to be by my side all the time."

'_I love the fact that you want to though, I really do.'_

"Well I do," she said with the ominous crack of finality in her voice. There's just no arguing with that tone and I looked away.

"Look, I've got some seasickness tablets of one of the other guests," she said handing me a couple of pills and going into the bathroom to get me a glass of water. "Let's see if they help; oh and one of the crew was telling me that you need to have something light for lunch and then go up on deck. Apparently that usually helps people."

I swallowed the tablets quickly, anything to take away the feeling of nausea; the feeling that you've just been spun around and around on a roundabout and then stepped off to try and walk a white line.

"I'm not sure if I can manage any food babe," I told her, the very thought making my poor beleaguered stomach spasm in horror.

"I need you to try Ems," she said carefully. "You haven't eaten properly since before we boarded, I'm getting worried about you."

She reached out and placed her hand on my stomach; "It's not like this thing not to be stuffed to the gunnels with food, it must be heartbroken at the moment."

"Cheeky," I said, attempting the joke. Naomi grinned and leant down to kiss my forehead.

"Come on you, let's get you dressed, do you want to have another shower?"

"I think I need to babe, and I have to brush my teeth before I do anything." I told her firmly; I really do, _eau de vomit_ isn't an attractive perfume to wear.

o+o+o

Twenty five minutes of fussing around later I'm clean again, my breath is fresh and I'm in clean clothes and on my way to the common room. The tables for lunch had been set out and Naomi helped me down onto one insisting I sit with my back to one of the windows.

"Bob says not looking at the horizon helps," she explained nodding at the crew member that was putting a cloth onto one of the other tables and laying out some cutlery.

I nodded and stared at anything but the distant horizon visible through the window, it didn't help much, but having something that didn't move much to focus on was certainly helping, either that or it was the tablets having an effect finally. The only problem was, having been told I shouldn't do something, I kept doing it. Naomi grinned as she noticed my eyes being drawn to a nearby window and leaned across and drew the curtain across it.

"Let's remove temptation shall we babe?" she said reaching over to take my hand, looking concerned. I did my best to smile back at her and reassure her, naturally she didn't look convinced.

"Nice to see you again Naomi, can I take your lunch order?" a voice asked from slightly behind me, breaking her look of concern as she smiled up at the crewman that had walked over.

"Hi Bob, this is my girlfriend Emily."

"Nice to meet you Emily, how are you feeling? Naomi tells me you've been quite badly seasick."

"I feel terrible if I'm honest," I told him, "I'm not sure I could eat anything actually."

"What if I brought you some cereal and perhaps some toast, unless you want my special cure all for seasickness?"

"What's that?" I asked tentatively.

"You don't want to know hun," Naomi interjected. "Bob that's not nice, Ems hasn't stopped being sick since she got on board this hulk."

"Full English cures all ills Naomi, I keep telling you that. Muesli will not help you face the rigors of the seas," he said with a cheeky grin.

"Shut up Bob," Naomi replied a little sternly, nodding towards me. She must have spotted me change colour or something; because instead of filling me with joy like it usually would, the thought of a full English breakfast makes me want to throw up all over Bob's nice white jacket.

"Toast will be fine thank you," I said trying to head off any possible conflict, only noticing at the last minute the sly wink he gave her.

"I'll have the warm beef sandwich please, with the wholegrain mustard," Naomi said placing her order and I could feel my mouth salivate at the thought of it. "Bring one for Ems as well," she added grinning, "Just in case she changes her mind."

We sat at the table and waited for our food, Naomi getting up to bring us some water and some juice from the central table.

"Feeling any better Ems?" she asked as she sat down and looked across at me.

"Not really, but it is nice to be out of that fucking cabin," I told her, sort of wishing she'd stop asking me that very question.

"You look better sweetheart, there's a bit more colour in your cheeks. You up for a trip on deck later?"

I thought about it for a second, anything has got to be better than sitting in our tiny cabin with fuck all to do except feel sorry for myself. "Yeah, maybe," I said noncommittally, "I'll see how I feel after lunch."

"That's my girl," she said causing another sappy flutter in my chest, her happy smile making me feel guilty about being so unenthusiastic.

o+o+o

To my shock and surprise I managed to eat my toast, I even managed to eat some of the sandwich that Naomi ordered for me before I felt like I was about to explode. Staring out of the window at the horizon had certainly helped along the way, allowing me to focus on something other than the rolling motion of the boat.

Naomi had wolfed down her sandwich and I wondered how many meals she'd missed recently while she was looking after me. She can be an absolute fucker for that, I'd discovered over our time together; skipping proper meals and drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes instead. Something we would probably fall out over one day; Bob's right, muesli is no substitute for real food.

As we sat she rummaged around in a pocket of the trousers she was wearing and brought out one of the packs of Marlboro, that she had bought on the plane, and a lighter; stacking them on the table in front of her and sitting back with her glass of orange with a contented smile.

"You look happy," I told her taking a sip of my water.

"I am happy," she said grinning back, "you've managed to eat something, that makes me feel good. I was getting worried about you. I thought perhaps someone had replaced you with an Emily Fitch that doesn't eat."

I smiled back at her, my first proper smile in days, "That's ok, I know you've been replaced by aliens, you haven't scowled or thrown a paddy in days."

Her grin broadened into a genuine smile as she looked at me and winked.

"Meep, Tracey from Mars is back," she said grinning into her juice.

"Does she still want to have sex with me?" I asked smiling back, remembering the last time that a playful Naomi had introduced me to her girl from Mars.

"Always," she replied putting down her empty glass, "But for now she wants you to feel better and come up on deck for some fresh air."

"Well I can't refuse Tracey," I told her, finishing the dregs of my water and standing up still trying to ignore the rocking motion underneath me. "Let's go, before I change my mind."

It wasn't a long walk to the upper "sun" deck where Naomi took me. In fact its wasn't much of a deck at all, merely a cleared area of metal plating with a few wooden chairs and a couple of beach loungers. Still it was nice to have the sun on my face after days of not leaving our cabin and feeling like a troglodyte, even if the sight of the horizon rolling from up here was making me feel worse than when I was in the common room.

"Do do you want to lie down hun, we can totally steal those loungers."

I nodded, practically sprinting across to the long metal and mesh loungers and throwing myself into one, trying to find something stationary to focus on to ease my seasickness.

"Fucking hell Ems, anxious or what?"

"Still not feeling well Naoms. Need to lie down" I told her as I flopped out and stared skywards, trying to control the rapid beating of my heart and the churning in my stomach.

"Anything I can do for you Ems?" she asked sitting on the edge of my lounger and holding my hand, her fingers tracing little circles on the back.

"Just stay there and do that," I told her, closing my eyes and relaxing into her touch. Strangely though she let go of my hand and stood up; I snapped open my eyes to see what she was doing, only to see her dragging the other lounger over and pushing it next to me. I closed my eyes again and concentrated on my breathing, I heard a soft creak as she lay down and felt my hand lifted from my side.

"Better?" she asked, kissing the back of my hand softly before placing it between us and squeezing it softly; her fingers resuming their reassuring stroking.

"Much," I told her truthfully.

We just lay there, my sense of balance and self awareness slowly returning to me as I listened to the sound of the sea, barely audible over the constant hum of the engines.

As I began to feel better I opened my eyes and stared up into the cloudless sky, glistening with the most beautiful blue I had ever seen.

Actually, not the most beautiful blue, the second most beautiful blue I'd ever seen. I stared upwards into that endless sky, pondering how similar it was to the sparking blue eyes of the woman I loved. Light and yet dark at the same time, deep and inviting, empty and yet so incredibly full.

The sky was clear but it wasn't empty, just like Naomi. She could stare at me with those vivid blue eyes and you would think that she was cold, aloof, empty. I knew different, her eyes were full of feeling, full of emotion. Just like you had to stare to see the wispy flicks of cloud that drifted by, or the birds that soared and played in the warm air; Naomi's eyes showed you how she felt.

She tells me that I show my emotions through my eyes, that she knows how I'm feeling just by looking into them, what I've never told her properly is that she's the same. I can see happiness and misery, love and hate, pain and pleasure.

Once I looked at those blue eyes and saw the conflict, saw the confusion and I was comforted by it, knowing that all wasn't lost between us before it even started. Later I saw love matched with fear, and I hid behind the love and pretended the fear wasn't there. Then came the misery and the regret and I wallowed in it, enjoying the feeling of power that I had over her, enjoying the pain that leaked into those glorious eyes, dulling their brightness, quenching their flame. Then the blue came back, and with it came the love, and the fear and the jealousy and the pain; and in a vicious, vicious cycle I missed it again, or more accurately once again failed to see the bits I didn't want to see.

All the time, since that very first day I noticed her I've missed the warnings that are displayed in Naomi's eyes, focussed only on the love that I saw reflected in that blue; the most beautiful blue I have ever seen, a blue that never failed to make me want to dive headlong into and lose myself forever.

"Penny for them Ems," I heard her say, amusement in her voice. I stared up into that cloudless azure sky and smiled to myself.

"Not nearly enough babe," I told her, a reflection of a conversation we'd had before we left. "Not even close to being enough for my thoughts."

"Fair enough, but could you try not to break my fingers next time you think bad thoughts about me Ems," I heard her voice say, and I realised I was gripping her hand extremely tightly, squeezing her fingers in between my own.

"Jesus, I'm sorry babe," I said quickly dropping her hand. "I didn't realise I was hurting you."

"You weren't," she said and I felt her grab my hand once more, our fingers intertwining again, her grip squeezing mine gently. "You were just squeezing hard, so I assumed you were thinking of me."

"Nah, I wasn't," I said trying to tease her. "I was thinking of how lovely that sky is."

"It's just a sky Ems," she said casually. "It's blue and it's full of clouds, seen one sky seen them all."

I rolled over slightly to look at her, not quite believing what I was hearing, only to be met by those piercing blue eyes.

"You really do not have an ounce of romance in your body do you?" I told her exasperatedly.

"I suppose not," she replied calmly, blinking in the sunshine. "I just can't get excited about things like that."

"What about our places," I replied feeling myself getting annoyed, "our lake, our beach? Don't they do anything for you?"

Sometimes she simply infuriated me just by being her, it's like she can flick a switch inside me. I love both of those places, I can look and see the delicate beauty in the leaves on the trees, the faint ripple of a fish breaking surface, the hum of a dragonfly as it flits from place to place, the sound of the waves crashing against the shoreline. I can lose myself in the moment of just being somewhere and I cannot believe that she doesn't do the same, doesn't feel the same.

"Not really Ems, not in the way that they obviously do for you."

I stared at her in shock, ok so she doesn't feel about those places like I do, but to tell me outright! That's bold even for her, I bit back an angry retort and allowed her to finish.

"I'm not into places hun, not like you are. You see things differently to me. You describe a place and how it makes you feel, you can immerse yourself in it all. I'm not like that, I'm into people; it's the being with people that makes me feel good. I could be stuck in a tiny cabin with the right person and it'd be special, is special."

"Sweet," I told her, a faint smile touching my slightly cracked lips. There she goes again, flicking that little internal switch and making me understand. We're so different in our ways of looking at the world yet we both see the importance of it all. It's funny but on paper we shouldn't work, but we so do. I watched her lips tweak into a smirk before laying back again and staring up into the blue.

o+o+o

"I got an e-mail from mum," Naomi said, apropos of nothing, breaking the silence we'd been lying in for the last ten minutes.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, she copied in some stuff from Cook as well."

"Oh right," I said trying to sound interested. I know my last meeting with James Cook went ok, I even felt sorry for him, but it doesn't mean that I have to love him to bits; as far as I'm concerned, he's still a twat.

"What did Mum have to say?" I asked, as interested in Gina's letter as I was disinterested in Cooks.

"Want to read it? I printed it all off."

"Read it to me?" I asked, not wanting to have to sit up and have to read and risk the seasickness coming back.

"Yeah, sure hun. I'll go get it, I left it in the cabin. Won't be a sec'."

I felt her hand leave mine and the creaking noise of her lounger as she got up. Heard the footsteps retreat across the deck, the five minutes she was gone strangely felt like an eternity as I lay there with nothing to do but think.

I knew she was there before I heard her settle back down, that strange connection you have with the people you love alerting me to her presence more than anything.

"Mum is being a miserable cow, are you sure you're ready for this Ems,?" she asked, causing me to smile uncontrollably.

"Stop yakking and start reading Campbell, I want to hear what Gina wrote.

"Fine," she said rustling some papers as I stared at the cloudless sky. "Here goes, don't say I didn't warn you." I heard her take a deep breath as she began to recite.

"_Hi girls, it's Gina…that's Gina Campbell, or Mum as you both might remember. At least I hope you remember because it's been that long since I heard from you both that I'm sure you've forgotten who I am."_

"She's such a cheeky cow," Naomi said, interrupting her reading. "I spent ages talking to her on the phone when we were in Kolkata. I had to listen to ages as she moaned about Kieran flirting with that barmaid."

"When was the message dated babe?" I asked patiently, already guessing the answer would be before our stop; given that the hostel we'd stayed at didn't have the internet and we couldn't be arsed going out to find an internet café during out short stay.

"_I hope that this message finds you both well,"_ she continued, making me smile again as my point was proven. _"and that you're having a lot of fun wherever in the world you both are. I'm sending this from work because I had a strange letter come through the post to me yesterday, from your friend James Naomi. He put a cover note in that says he can't get e-mails in prison, not unless he pays 25p for the privilege of getting one, and that he asked me to tell you next time I e-mail that he likes getting proper letters from you, that he really enjoyed getting the last one and you shouldn't mention your holiday snaps because he can't see them and could I ask you to write again when you get chance. _

_Now don't panic because I have sorted this all out. I've already sent him a load of stationary and he's going to write letters and send them to me. I've got Dave, our tech-whizz in the office here, to scan it and he's showed me how to attach it to this message as a peedee something or other. Anyway I hope you can open it and read it because James sounds like a very nice boy in his letter."_

"She always has had a strange connection to reprobates," Naomi said, causing me to chuckle at the memory of the strange people that used to live at her house.

"It's not funny," she said indignantly at my laugh.

"It is," I told her, rolling over to stare at her again. "I was remembering that bloke that let me in that time, the one that looked a bit like Jesus."

Naomi rolled her eyes melodramatically, "Seriously I thought I told you not to mention that fucking creep."

"No, you never mentioned it babe," I said suddenly all interested at her reaction to the Jesus-alike. "Why?"

"The blue eyes tracked across to glare at me, as if trying to discern if I was joking or not. I made my face as innocent as I could and stared encouragingly at her, hoping she would expand upon her story. Suddenly her eyes narrowed slightly but held a twinkle of mischief that I didn't fail to pick up in those baby blues I knew so well.

"If you must know I spent the night with him once, the night before you met him in fact."

I get it, she remembers telling me about him, and thinks I've forgotten. I know that now, her deliberate teasing, the implication that she'd done more that woke up with his foot in her mouth. I raised an eyebrow, doing my best to fake an indignant lack of interest.

"But it was before we got together, so I'm sure it doesn't count,"

"Um," I said rolling back to look up at the beautiful sky once more, holding my poker face, channelling Katie's ability to hold onto a frown. "Whatever. So what did Cook actually say then?"

"You're a little bit jealous aren't you?" I heard over the creak of the lounger. Naomi's concerned face appeared at the edge of my vision, perfectly haloed by the sky; "you actually think I slept with that creep."

I blinked up at her and sighed, _"I woke up with his sock in my mouth Ems, his fucking smelly, unwashed, crusty fucking sock…In my mouth, can you imagine that?"_

"What?" she exclaimed; I couldn't help but grin as Naomi shook her head and stared down at me looking confused.

"That's what you told me, over a bottle of cheap vodka in your room that time. You seemed very upset about it all."

"I woke up with him in my bed Ems, of course I was upset about it. I was fucking naked at the ti…."

She stopped mid rant and looked down at me.

"You cow, you teasing cow! You totally remembered!"

"Of course I remembered Naoms, I told you…I remember everything you say to me. You can't get away with anything!"

"Foiled again," she said sitting down again and disappearing from my view once more, nudging my playfully as she did so.

"So what did Cook say Naomi?" I asked, more out of wanting to hear the sound of her voice than wanting to hear about Cook.

"You know Cook, he's a man of few words."

"Yeah and most of them are obscene."

"Emily!" She exclaimed at my insulting of her, actually probably _our_, friend.

"Well it's true," I replied calmly; there is no doubting that, I am telling the truth about Cook's vocabulary.

"Yeah, but still…"

"Naomi, tell me what he said," I told her forcefully, smiling into the sky at her loyalty to the annoying little drug dealer that seemed to have become a part of her life. I heard her settle down, and then her voice came again.

"_Naomi, Emily, how's things for my favourite muff munchers?"_

"See I told you so," I interrupted quickly at his less than polite and totally Cook-like start.

"Yeah, I know, but you know he doesn't mean it hun, do you want me to read this or not?"

I waved a hand in the air in front of me and heard her snort, I could see in my mind her rolling her eyes at my imperious gesture, but it didn't stop her from continuing.

"_Naomi-babes, I got your letter, I can't reply the way you said so I'm sending this via your mum as you suggested Hope she can read the gist of it and e-mail it to you or something. I can't do anything like that here, can't even look at your holiday shots on the computers so you'll have to send them to me properly if you want me to see anything._

_Anyway, if you want to send me anything do it as a letter, at least then I get to keep it. It's a bit of a reminder of the outside world, you know? Something to remind me that there's a reason to keep a bit of hope going when I'm stuck in here._

_Happy to hear you two are ok, makes my day that does; loved to hear that stupid name of yours finally got you more than a laugh Naomikins. You say the twinnies got together for their birthday yeah? In freaking India, (I'm not supposed to swear in letters before you get all amused!) they must have loved that. Hope Emily enjoyed that posh hotel you mentioned. By the way, does this mean that Katiekins has bagged herself some rich older bloke again? Bloody typical; and why did you mention her becoming a nurse Campbell, that's not fair! Next thing you'll be telling me is that Emilo keeps borrowing her uniforms to bring home to entertain you."_

"Ugh, he's such a perv," I interrupted her narrative. "Like I couldn't go out and get my own uniform to entertain you." I added cheekily

I listened in amusement to the splutter from my girl before hearing her clear her throat and continue, as if ignoring my comment.

_"Anyway enough about that before you get me all excited, I'm hopefully getting this out direct to your mum, Karen's bringing me an envelope and some stamps next time she comes in. So as you can gather she's not abandoned me, though I think I'm just some kind of sick link to Freddie or something, but that's another story. I hope this gets to you, especially as that's my only option seeing as you're telling me Katie is actually in India with you guys!_

_I don't have a lot else to say, my life isn't actually filled with social activity at the moment for some reason, but Naomi, really, thanks for writing...I do appreciate it, even if it does make me as sentimental a t**t as you are (-: _

_It's nice to hear from people other than Karen, do you hear from any of the others? How's Eff doing with her new girl? She hasn't come to see me, but that's fine, I'm totally over her now."_

"Yeah, like hell you are Cookie," I heard her mutter to herself. It's sad but I felt guilty for a second that Effy hadn't been to see Cook. I think she owes him the decency of a visit and an explanation. I think she needs to be the one that tells him about Katie. Cook is still all hung up over her and it's obvious to anyone that see's him talk about her. I watched his face when I told him about Effy moving on, about her having a girlfriend now. That cheeky grin and cocky tone of his still remained, but the hurt was visible in his eyes. He's not over her, something tells me it'll be a long time and a lot of growing up for James Cook ever to be over Effy Stonem.

_"So I'm running out of paper and I need a sheet to use as a cover letter for your mum, I'd carry on writing but I'm not sure you'd appreciate me using the only other paper source I have. Besides it's nearly lights out and I want this ready to go out first thing tomorrow. _

_Stay in touch Naomi babe, I miss you as well...though if you tell anyone but Emilio I'll have to kill ya._

_Look after yourselves you two, I'll be thinking of you both...every night in fact hehehe_

_Cookie_

_P.S, Send me something nice next time, foreign fags or summat. People here don't believe you lot exist, give me some proof or something!"_

I heard her fold some paper with what she imaged to be a quiet sniff, and I rolled over to look across at her, reaching out and gripping her leg.

"Who'd have thought James Cook could write?" I said to her, smiling into those dulled blue eyes, tinged with a ring of hurt. "Sure he didn't dictate it to someone?"

"Funny," she said wiping her eyes. "It's definitely his handwriting, because it took me three goes to read my way through the illegible scrawl!"

"Nice to hear from him though, yeah?"

"Yeah," she said sadly. I think I'll write back to him while we sail, post it as soon as we dock. Would you mind taking a decent photo of me so I can get it printed to send to him."

"No, I won't do that Naomi," I told her firmly, "you'll have to get someone else to do that."

She looked at me crestfallen for a second, before she caught my smile and relaxed.

"He sent that to you _and_ me Naoms, so we'll get a nice photo of the two of us babe, send it in your letter. We can even hold up a 'we miss you James Cook' sign or something if he wants proof we exist for his sleazy cell mates.

She stared at me very seriously for a long time before reaching down and grabbing my outstretched hand. "Thanks Ems, I'd appreciate that, I know you and Cook will never be..."

"He's _your_ friend Naomi, that makes him a part of _our_ lives; and I won't forget what he did for you."

"I love you, you know that? Every time I think I can't love you any more, you do something else that makes it happen."

"What like puking everywhere and leaving you to clean it up?" I asked half chuckling to myself out of embarrassment.

"No, like caring about my friends, like letting me care for you, like loving me enough to actually seem genuinely interested in what I care about. You know, things like that. That's what make me love you even more."

Her beautiful blue eyes shone with sincerity, making her face shine as if lit up by a light from the heavens themselves, I felt that familiar twist in my stomach as I looked at her, not sea sickness this time, just love. Pure unadulterated love, I've always loved her, but like she says she keeps doing things that reinforces and builds upon that love; and I can't help but smile lie a twat as it washes over me, flooding out from my stomach, circling and constricting my chest and then spreading out to warm me.

Filled with that warmth I sat up on the lounger and leant over to kiss her soft, red lips, enjoying their warmth as we pressed together, feeling the slight intrusion of her tongue as my hands gripped her hair and pulled her to me.

"Come on you, cabin!" I told her urgently, standing up and wobbling slightly. Naomi stood quickly and wrapped her arm around my waist, making me feel wonderfully supported and loved once more.

"You not feeling well again hun," she asked looking towards me as I led us back towards the stairs to the lower decks.

"I'm feeling fine babe," I told her truthfully. My queasiness was, for at least the moment, all but gone. Either I'd found my sea legs as promised in the open air and the Naomi-blue sky or what I was feeling for my girl was eclipsing all other feelings. I took a slight breath and clung onto her a little harder before continuing.

"I'm feeling better than fine, I just need to get _you_ into _bed_ right _now_."

.

.

.

**A/N - **So are we bored of this story yet? I bet you all are. So much good stuff out there to read!

Anyway, next stop land, a well Emily and I think Naomi's birthday, (if they let me write about it that is!)

Laters All (-:


	17. Singapore Swing

"**Postcards from Paradise."**

**Disclaimer** – I still own nothing but a large amount of debt and a severe lack of talent, despite what people tell me, proven by the writer's block I've been suffering.

Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (shame).

**Authors Note **– OK, OK I know I'm shite at updating Postcards, which is bad because if Close Protection is me messing about, then this episode of the Dragons saga is the work I really care about. Anyway, as you probably may know I'm not feeling fluffy at the moment with what's going on in my life, and that's making writing this quite difficult. However as it's the 26th March which means, (If I got this right) that it's exactly 12 months since I posted the first chapter of Dragons - it seemed fitting that I try and get another chapter out to celebrate that fact.

According to FFN I have written 693,666 words in that time (not counting this and "The Game") and I love the fact that Avalanche has 300 reviews. These numbers tickly my mathematical OCD that Hawke takes the mick out of me for.

Anyway, this is only a short chapter, but it will set up for the next, it's unchecked and kinda rushed out, so if it's rubbish don't flame me please. Here's to another 12 months in great company...yes I do mean you lot.

Thanks for reading, thanks for sharing your reviews and thanks for your patience. I kinda love you all (well most of you) (-:

Enjoy!

**Chapter 17 – Singapore Swing**

_Naomi_

"Enjoy your stay in Singapore Miss Campbell"

I grunted at the receptionist in response, not out of contempt, but because of the waves of tiredness washing over my body. It was three twenty in the morning and I'd love to say that this was due to celebrations of our arrival on the next stage in our trip that had gone on late into the night. The truth was Emily and I had only just arrived in Singapore, our boat running into delays along the way that had set us back about nine hours. This had resulted in a late docking, a very late passing through customs and a extremely late arrival at our hotel.

It had also resulted in a very tired and very grumpy Emily Fitch.

For someone that had promised me faithfully that she wouldn't make a fuss about our late arrival, she seemed to be extremely angry about the delays; and everything that went with them. She'd snapped at the ship's crew when we had disembarked, she'd snapped at the customs officials that had taken us to one side as we got off the boat and questioned us about our trip and our luggage; and finally she'd snapped at the taxi driver that we'd flagged down to take us to the hotel she'd booked without telling me about. To be fair though, she had been extremely sick for most of our journey here, only finding her sea legs towards the end of the trip and by then it had been too late. I knew she was at the end of her tether, and was being extra-specially nice to her as a result.

I'd gone up to Reception to check us both in, leaving my feisty red head sitting slumped on a sofa; her head resting against my rucksack. It wasn't the greatest hotel in the world, but it was a distinct step up on the hostels we'd been staying in. On the taxi ride over here she'd spent about ten minutes tiredly apologising that she hadn't been able to arrange for us to stay at a posh place like the Marriott, but that she'd done her best on short notice. I'd been too amused with the way she was slurring her words, as sleep battered down her defences, to have a go at her for arranging a nice place to stay at all. Though I had not a clue in the world why she'd organised it.

To be absolutely honest, after the trains, and the hostels, and the boat; I was looking forward to a nice bed and a nice bathroom, hopefully with a nice hot bath.

Ideally a nice hot bath big enough for two!

"Em," I whispered carefully; sitting down next to her on the sofa, "Ems babe are you awake?"

There was no reply from my girl, nothing that is but the fluttering of her eyelids and the soft breathing I know so well. Breathing that tells me that she is actually fast asleep.

"Ems hun, I've checked us in," I continued regardless, hoping to break through the blanket of exhaustion that she was wrapped up tightly in.

"S'nice, well done," was my only reply as I watched her snuggle harder into the rucksack. Softly I blew across her face, watching intently as her nose crinkled adorably as the warm air, and travellers breath, washed across it. Gently I blew out once again, this time getting the desired response.

"What?" Emily said abruptly as her eyes sprang open. "Where am I? What's the matter?"

"It's ok sweetheart," I told her gently, holding her hand as she surfaced from sleep. "It's only me. I've checked us in, it's time to go up to our room, get you to bed."

"Bed sounds good Naoms," she told me stretching and closing her eyes again and squeezing my hand. "Wake me up when we get there."

"I'm not carrying you _and_ the bags hun," I said firmly. "As much as I'd love to; so will you please get up and let go of my bag so the porter can take it up to our room?"

I pulled at the handles of my rucksack, tugging it towards me causing Emily to slide into my arms; I know that in part she's faking, she was genuinely asleep, but now she's just after being babied a little. I don't mind that, I like babying her sometimes. Emily told me on our boat trip that the old Naomi Campbell had died somewhere on the train to Kolkata. Personally I don't think she died, but I am sure she's decided to take a short rest and allow me to enjoy my time with my girlfriend. There have been so many times along the way where I've wanted to just fuck off on my own and leave her; or I've wanted to stand up and have a blazing row just because I could.

I haven't though, for a couple of reasons; firstly Mumbai taught me that I actually don't like it when we fight, for whatever reason. Mumbai reminded me of all those months in Bristol where we barely spoke, and life was shit, and I was lost in drink, drugs and revision.

Secondly, somewhere along the way, somewhere since that time, I had actually changed. I now know how to handle my feelings, know what it is I want and what I have to do to get it and keep it. Somewhere since the Love Ball and Sophia and everything that came afterwards I've grown up a lot.

I've kind of had to, Emily had wanted me to, needed me to; if we were going to have any chance at all.

"Would you like me to take your bags?" the liltingly accented voice asked as Ems slumped into me, wrapping her arms around my neck and holding on tightly.

"Yes please," I replied smiling despite myself, "If you could take our rucksacks and I'll drag this bag up with me."

"Charming," Emily muttered into my ear as I tried to pull her to her feet, finding nothing but dead weight and resistance.

"Come on you old fraud," I told her chuckling at her protestations. "Let's go up to our room and get some proper rest; I doubt you want to spend the first night in this hotel sleeping on this sofa."

"Carry me?"

"Ems, I'd love to baby, but I'm tired too, " I replied, allowing the exhaustion to seep into my voice. "I can hardly keep my eyes open myself, let alone carry you. Please hun, let's just go to bed."

To my endless relief, Emily opened her eyes and pulled me closer, placing a soft kiss on my lips. If we got any disapproving looks from the reception staff I didn't notice; I did hear a loud huff from the porter and opened my eyes to see him struggling a little with our bags.

"It's room 306," I told him pulling away from Emily and dragging us both to our feet. I half led, half carried the sleepy girl to the lift and actually enjoyed the funny look from the porter as Emily slumped against me in the tiny box and I was forced to wrap my arms around her tiny waist to stop her from falling.

Finally we made it to the room and I tipped the porter with a note from the currency I'd exchanged on the ship, laying Ems onto the bed and digging in my pocket to do so.

"Good evening," he said shortly and left, accepting the note and backing out of the door, closing it firmly behind him. I get the unerring feeling that I've just offended him with what I offered as a tip, but put it all behind me as I heard gentle snores from the girl on the bed.

With a sigh I didn't really feel, I walked over to the bed and pulled off Emily's shoes, thankful that her walking boots were still in her bag. Carefully I eased her out of her travelling clothes and slipped her under the sheets, smiling despite myself as she furrowed her brow thoughtfully as I tucked her in and she snuggled into the pillows.

Despite my own weariness I took the time to dig around in our bags, pulling out our wash bags and some clean clothes for the morning and setting them to one side. I took the wash kit into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, looking longingly at the bath/shower combo that dominated the tiny space.

Ablutions complete I switched off the lights and slipped into bed, luxuriating in the feeling of those cool, soft sheets. The room echoed to the sound of the air conditioner and the rhythmic in out snoring of one Emily Fitch, rather to the hum of engines and the roll of the sea; and with my life back in stable perfect balance, I allowed myself to sleep.

o+o+o

I'm not one hundred percent sure what woke me the next morning, I don't know if it's the sound of Singapore going about its day that is leaking in through the double glazed windows, or if it's the light that's made its way across the room, alerting me to the fact that I hadn't drawn the curtains before collapsing last night, or more accurately early this morning.

I looked through bleary eyes at my watch only to find that it's quarter past ten; I'd only had about six hours sleep, and I knew I needed a lot, lot more. My body however was having none of it and it had pinged me into life and made me want to get up.

Most unlike the girl I currently shared a bed with that is; a girl who continued to sleep despite my waking state. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement, however this was mollified by the fact that I could take the time to study her as she slept.

I know I'm biased, I know that I've probably thought this a thousand times before, but Emily is absolutely beautiful when she sleeps. It's as if the worries and woes that haunt her are washed away when she's asleep, and she manages to become the perfect version of herself. Softly, careful not to wake her, I placed a single kiss on my favourite parts of Emily Fitch; one on each of her shoulders and one on the nape of her neck. As I pulled away and pulled the sheet up once more she simply snuggled further into her blankets, muttering happily.

With a pang of regret that made my chest ache I slowly eased myself out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. As enticing as remaining curled up with Ems was, my body was telling me it was time to get up and sort itself out. As I walked into the tiny en-suite I stared at the shower before dismissing it; Ems would probably be out asleep for hours, I know what she's like when she's exhausted; and that bath was calling me. It was calling me with a siren like voice; and, with no mast to tie myself to to keep me safe, I gave myself up to the voices, closing the door behind me and fiddling with the taps until I got a temperature I was comfortable with, squeezing shower gel into the water in the absence of a bubble bath.

One trip to the toilet later, running water having an adverse effect on my body, I finished brushing my teeth as the bath filled. Spitting out the toothpaste into the sink and rinsing my mouth before turning off the bath taps.

It was with a sense of relief that I eased myself into the water, allowing the heat to soak into my tired joints. It's not as if we'd done anything for the last few days, we certainly hadn't been trekking around, but the constant rolling of the boat we'd travelled in had messed up my body as well as my sleep and I was weary, properly weary; and I hoped that this bath would set me straight, or send me back to sleep again. For the first time since the Marriott I allowed myself to properly relax, closing my eyes and enjoying the experience.

Fuck knows how much later I was pulled from my happy soak, and my thoughts, by a cry from the other room.

"Naomi?" Emily called, a hint of worry present in her tired sounding voice.

"In here Ems," I shouted back, splashing involuntarily as my arms moved by themselves to gesture at the door. "I'm having a bath."

There was a faint knock at the door as I finished speaking, and I called for her to come in, the door opening carefully and a tired face with tousled hair appearing.

"Morning hun, how you feeling?" I asked with more cheer and energy than I really felt.

"I'm good," Ems replied, "did you put me to bed last night?"

"I did hun, you were shattered," I told her, explaining what had happened when she told me that she remembered nothing from pulling up here in the cab, smiling as she nodded understandingly.

"Do you mind if I use the loo babe," she said finally, blushing slightly, "I don't want to disturb you but I'm bursting, all that splashing has set me off."

"Don't be silly Ems," I replied, "Of course I don't mind." I didn't either, it's not like she hadn't done if before. "You going to join me in here?" I asked as she flushed the toilet and turned on the taps on the sink.

Ems stared at me longingly as she washed her hands before shaking her head. "There's something I need to do babe, as much as I want to. I kind of promised to ring home when we woke up, I didn't realise it would be this late."

"What time is it Ems?" I asked, flicking water at her as she stood by the bath.

"Ugh, fuck off Naoms," she said trying to dodge the droplets. "It's coming up to eleven, about time we made a move if we're going to make it to the zoo before it gets dark and we miss the day creatures."

I nodded understanding, it had been something we'd discussed, Emily and I, on the boat over here; something to do that wasn't totally touristy, but was still a little bit 'travellers in a foreign clime'. We'd finally decided on visiting the zoo, mainly because it was different to the endless wandering around and taking photos of buildings and statues, and partly because they did a night safari as well. We'd decided that, despite my hatred of animals in captivity, that this would be a once in a lifetime experience that we really shouldn't miss whilst we were here and had agreed on spending the day there before moving on.

"Someone slept well, and someone needs a bah before we go out," I told her as she grinned down at me.

"Someone did sleep well thank you very much, and _someone_ will grab a quick shower when _someone_ is out of her bath. You do realise if I get in there with you, I may never get out!"

"I'm failing to see the downside in that plan Ems," I said, flicking water at her once more.

"Well I do," she replied sweetly, "Five minutes Naoms, I'll give you five more minutes and then out, so I can get a shower."

As much as I grumbled after she closed the door behind her, I knew she was right; if we were going anywhere today we needed to get a move on. Reluctantly I scrubbed at my skin with the shower gel and rinsed myself off, allowing myself another couple of minutes relaxation before pulling the plug and hauling myself out of the tub, wrapping my body in a towel.

"All yours Ems," I called out as I rubbed myself down, drying my skin in that soft towelling material as I did so.

"Naoms, can you come here for a second?" Ems called from the bedroom as I finished drying myself. I walked out into the room to see her on the phone, presumably to reception.

"She's here now," she said frowning, "it's the girl on reception, they won't accept me ordering breakfast in our room, could you have a word?"

"Sure," I replied, "but isn't the room in your name anyway?" I asked as I made my way over to her.

"Yeah, but you checked us in under your name and they're being difficult, have a word would you babe?"

I took the phone from her hand and held it to my head, "Hi it's Naomi Campbell in room 306..."

I didn't get any further before a familiar voice started singing, joined in with by a slight Irish lilt that sounded very tired and embarrassed and the sweet sounds of the girl next to me.

_"Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you...happy birthday dear Naomi, happy birthday too you."_

"What the fuck?" I asked both to the nutters back in the UK and Emily, "You all know I don't celebrate my birthday!"

_"Emily thought it would be nice,"_ Mum said down the phone, _"now say thank you nicely while I wait and then we can have a proper chat on your birthday."_

I looked accusingly at Emily who simply shrugged unashamedly and leant over to kiss me.

"Happy birthday Naoms" she said as her lips left mine. "Bet you thought I'd forgotten."

"Hoped more like," I replied; smiling despite myself. " When did you arrange all this?"

"Ages ago," she said, sliding away from me and heading for the bathroom with a cheeky wink. "I had wanted to wake you up properly for your birthday, but you kind of put paid to that. Now talk to mum while I have a shower and I'll think about how I can make it up to you."

"You already have," I said to the bathroom door as it closed.

_"What was that dear?"_ I heard from the receiver and quickly lifted the phone to my ear.

"Nothing mum, talking to Emily." I told the dotty old cow at the other end of the line, "What the fuck are you doing anyway? You know I don't celebrate birthdays."

_"Yes well we missed your eighteenth because of that, but Emily said we should at least speak on your nineteenth. She was very insistent on it in fact, something to do with repaying you for the birthdays she's missed with you and for the eighteenth you gave her in Goa."_

"I'll kill her," I said glaring at the closed bathroom door, "She promised me she wouldn't make a fuss."

_"and she isn't dear,"_ Mum told me, _"Emily just wanted for us to talk today that's all. Don't blame her for wanting something perfectly natural to happen between mother and daughter on her birthday."_

I don't do birthday's mum," I said firmly, "you know that. Could you not have dissuaded her in some way?"

_"Do you actually know your girlfriend Naomi?"_ Mum asked with a smile in her voice._ "Now stop being so stupid and let me tell you how much I love you, and how proud of you I am on your nineteenth birthday."_

She went on and on for ages before I stopped her enthusing with a reminder of how much this call would be costing us.

_"Don't you worry about that,"_ she told me. _"I've called the hotel, Kieran and I wanted to say happy birthday and I don't care about the cost. Now what have you and Emily got planned for your special day?"_

"What you don't already know?" I said, the pieces all falling into place, the date, the plans for the visit to the zoo and Emily's grumpiness at arriving late this morning.

_"Well Emily may have mentioned that she was planning something different for your birthday, something other than going out and getting drunk like your friends do. Which reminds me, Katherine asks did you like her present?"_

I've not opened it," I said truthfully. "I've not long got up mum, I've had a bath and the next thing I'm speaking to you; I haven't even thought about Katie and her stupid present"

_"Well she seemed quite insistent to find out when we met her and Elizabeth the other day, they seemed very taken with Goa; said that you all had a very good time. Elizabeth asked me to say Happy Birthday to you, and to tell you they're having a good time at University."_

"That's nice mum," I said wanting this call to end, or the earth to swallow me whole whichever came first. "Have you any more small talk to do or is that is for the year?"

_"Don't be like that Naomi, I wanted to speak to my only flesh and blood on her birthday. Stop being so grumpy."_

"Sorry mum," I said, meaning it as well. "I'm just tired, could do with a few more hours sleep that's all."

_"Well then, why didn't you say so? I'll let you go then dear. It's really early here and I could do with some more sleep myself. Mr Grumpy over there has already nodded off."_

I grinned at the sound of affection in her voice, my Mum the raving hippy; protester of animal rights, human rights and equal rights sounding like a sad old woman at the mere mention of her long-suffering boyfriend.

_"Besides, if you've only just woken up I'm sure Emily has plans to say happy birthday properly."_

"MUM!" I exclaimed as the blood pumped its way to my cheeks. One thing I do not miss about being away from Mum is the frankness with which she was prepared to discuss Emily's and my sex life; at seemingly any point appropriate or not.

"What's mum up to?" A soft, deep voice, still croaky from lack of sleep said from just behind me. Quickly I turned and felt my heart beat a little quicker as I saw Emily stood there, clad only in a towel; her hair wet and plastered to her skin, a happy glow emitting from her.

"She's being crude again," I said to both of them accusingly, listening as the two of them chuckled thousands of miles apart.

_"I'll leave you two to it then Naomi dear," Mum said as the phone crackled. "You don't need us old farts getting in the way again. Have a wonderful birthday Naomi darling, Kieran and I have put a little something into your savings account for your trip. You and Emily make the most of it do you hear? I miss you dear, I miss you more than I can tell you."_

"I miss you too mum," I said remembering my toast from all those weeks ago at Kieran's favourite restaurant in Bristol. "I miss you more than I can tell you too."

_"Oh shush dear,"_ Mum replied obviously embarrassed. _"I'll speak to you soon, you take care and have a great birthday. Kiss Emily for me would you?"_

"I will, thanks mum, goodbye."

I hung up the phone at her quiet goodbye and grabbed Ems by the towel, pulling her towards me and ripping the white cloth from her; revealing her tanned skin and dragging her into a passionate kiss my hands winding their way into her long wet hair.

"What was that for?" she said as I released her lips, my hands now trailing across her body, loving the feeling of her wonderfully soft skin.

"Mum asked me to kiss you, and I always do as my mother tells me you know."

"Did your mother tell you to let me convince you to put off the zoo until tomorrow; and let me take you to bed, make passionate love to you before dragging you out for an evening of drinking and dancing to celebrate your nineteenth birthday before coming home for more of the same?"

"No Ems," I said firmly looking staring into those brown eyes I love so much. "She didn't say anything of the sort," I smiled slightly at the hint of disappointment that washed into them at my words, knowing that I could make it vanish in an instant.

"But she didn't tell me _not_ to do that, so I guess if you want to corrupt me like that you can."

"Oh I want to corrupt you Naomi Campbell," she said pushing me backwards until I fell back onto the rumpled sheets. "I want to corrupt you so much you'll never see the light again."

As Emily's naked body fell onto mine and our lips and hearts met as one once more, I couldn't help thinking that, as birthday's go, this was one for the scrapbook.

o+o+o

Hours later as we showered together and got ready for a night on the town. I knew I was right; and I knew that I wanted to celebrate every birthday I had with Emily Fitch, in any way she wanted.

Especially if they were all going to be like that.

.

.

**A/N - **I'll try and do better folks, I promise. Grumpy Es is almost past now and this was easier than I thought it would be to write once I get started. Next time, more of Naomi's nineteenth birthday...what will Emily have planned?


	18. A Birthday To Remember?

**Chapter 18 - A Birthday To Remember?**

_Emily_

It was a burning sensation that woke me, an unpleasant burning sensation in my head that didn't want to go away. Carefully, gingerly, I opened my eyes the fraction of an inch necessary to see where I was, and what had woken me from a perfectly decent sleep.

The answers were, I was in the hotel room; and I was being attacked by the bright Singapore sunshine flooding in through the window.

"Fucking hell," were the only words that came out of my mouth as I cracked open my eyes even further.

As they began to focus I realised that the pain was being caused by the fact that the curtains in our room were open once more; and more importantly I was lying, not comfortably in bed, but on the rough carpet.

"Fuck my head hurts," I heard from somewhere above me, and I gently eased my head back to see dishevelled blonde hair appear over the edge of the bed.

"Morning," the light of my life said, looking more like a burnt out candle right now. "I won't say good morning, because I'm not sure there's anything _good_ about it so far."

"You're not kidding," I agreed painfully, trying to get up and finding significant parts of my body didn't want to cooperate.

"I thought we planned on having a grown up evening last night?" Naomi said rubbing her temples, her blonde hair falling over her face as she leant forwards, showing her ever darkening roots. "I guess that plan went to shit didn't it? How much do you remember? And what the hell are you doing down there?"

"I have absolutely no idea," I told her, "to either question …"

o+o+o

_Naomi – Previous Evening_

A quiet, fun, night out, just me and Ems; that had been the plan. A chance to wipe away some of the crap memories from my past, and have a great night together, to 'not-celebrate' my birthday. Emily, despite the 'non-celebratory' plans, had insisted that we get dolled up in our smart travel clothes - the ones that I'd cleverly suggested we pack in case we ended up staying somewhere were out travel gear wasn't welcome; in truth knowing it was because of the surprise stay at the Marriott - and have a nice grown up night out for my 'not-birthday'. As much as I wanted to do nothing more than stay in that hotel room and lose myself in Emily again, the idea of a night out in Singapore was too good to resist.

'_We came to see the world,'_ I told myself rationally, _'Might as well get out there and enjoy it!'_

The early part of the evening was brilliant, we'd taken a cab down to the waterfront to the huge complex Emily had decided we were going to.

"It's a massive mall complex Naoms," she'd said enthusiastically. "We can do some window shopping and I'll treat you to a meal for your 'not-birthday'; then we're going over the road to this place called the 'St James Power Station' I read about it online, it's supposed to be a fantastic clubbing spot."

"Can we afford this Ems?" I'd asked dubiously as I finished fixing the minimal amount of make up I needed to look presentable. "It all sounds pretty expensive."

"Yeah, we can afford it babe, and I told you, it's my treat," she said, plonking herself on my lap and wrapping her arms around my neck, her fingers toying with the loose ends of my hair; "and I don't want to hear any complaining either. You gave me the best birthday of my life and I'm going to do the same for you. I'm going to give you a birthday you'll never want to forget."

"You already have…" I said running my hand up the inside of her leg; my nails scraping against soft skin as they reached higher and higher under her loose skirt

"…and I've got a good idea of how we could make it even _more_ memorable, and it's one that doesn't involve going out."

"You, have a one track mind Naomi Campbell," she told me accusingly, her hand clamping down on mine as I reached ever higher. Ems made no attempt to actually move my hand though, instead leaning towards me and kissing me passionately. "But we came here to see the sights, so as good as that sounds babe; let's go paint the town red."

"Besides," she whispered sensuously in my ear, clamping my hand between her powerful thighs, "there's plenty of time for that sort of thing when we get back."

I inhaled deeply as Emily leaned in and took my earlobe between her teeth, flicking at the cheap stud I had in my piercing with her tongue. Considering she was supposed to be the 'sweet and innocent little twin' she had the mind of a true pervert; and she knew exactly how to get me going seemingly instinctively

"Keep doing that and we really won't make it out," I growled as she placed little kisses down my neck before nipping softly at the skin above my collarbone.

"Oh well," she said leaning back and pulling at my chin with her finger, hooking me and drawing me to her lips. "I think I should stop then.

I made a grab at her and she ran off giggling, "Come on, lets get going, the night is young and so am I, even if you are far, _far_ older than me."

"Oi cheeky," I said catching up and slapping her fabulous backside playfully. "Behave!"

o+o+o

Vivocity Singapore was everything Ems had said it was, a massive shopping mall complex. I don't really like shopping and I'm pretty sure Emily doesn't really like shopping with me either, but we were both determined to have fun as we walked around the huge, modern building.

"Weird isn't it?" Emily said as we walked, staring into the windows of the stores that filled the place.

"What's that?" I asked, a little confused. Neither of us had said anything for a while, wandering around hand in hand. I was just enjoying the moment, the fact that for once I was having a birthday I could just enjoy.

"This place, all the shops, we could be back in Bristol couldn't we? You know, we're on the other side of the world practically and you can walk into TopShop and Warehouse. Most of the clothes are the same as well.

"Yeah," I said sadly, "welcome to the face of global commercialism. These mega brands just seem to appear everywhere and then suck the life out a country, you know? They just seem to kick out everything that's original, and replace it with their idea of an ideal world. I mean look, that's the second fucking Starbucks we've passed for fucks sake; it's just fucking..."

I was silenced by the sound of Emily giggling next to me and turned my head to see her stifling a full on belly laugh,

"…what?" I asked, interrupting myself at the look on her face.

"Nothing babes, just you. You could find a protest anywhere couldn't you. Should we go back to the hotel and make placards?"

"Sorry Ems, at it again was I?" I said remorsefully, only to be pushed into a narrow gap between two shop fronts and shoved against the staff door at the end, well out of sight of the main mall.

"Naomi, did I never tell you that I used to follow you to all those protests you used to go to?"

"Um.." I said, not really remembering.

"..Well I did," she broke in pushing herself against me. "I used to hide in the crowd and just listen to you when you were talking on the megaphone. I loved hearing you rant on about anything and everything. Animal Rights, third world poverty, the war in Afghanistan, student grants, everything! I've told you before babes, I love your passion…it just makes me laugh that we're in Singapore, out on your birthday, and you're having a go at big business. It's lovely actually."

"Lovely eh?" I replied jokingly.

"Yeah, lovely. It's lovely because it reminds me that beneath that 'lovey-dovey' Naomi that seems to have appeared; you're still you. It reminds me that you're still the same girl I fancied what seems like years ago."

"I've not changed that much," I told her; lying despite myself. I do know I've changed, changed for the better I think. As if proving my point Emily pulled me into a hug.

"You've changed _so_ much Naoms, you're the same girl and you're so much more. I've changed too, we're both so different now. You're far braver than the girl that I made love to in the rain and I'm not the stupid little bitch that tried to control your every movement. I think we've both changed for the better, and I love you even more now that I did back then; and back then I didn't think that possible."

"Yeah, me too Ems," I told her truthfully, putting my hands on her hips and staring into her eyes. "I didn't think I could love you any more that I did, but I really do."

"See what I mean?" Emily said smiling at me, "like a young version of you would ever have said that to me."

"Might have thought it, but yeah, you're probably right."

"I really do love the new you though Naoms," Emily said, glancing behind us before leaning up to kiss me.

"Yeah, I like the new me as well Ems." I told her as her lips, regrettably, left mine. "But the new me has had enough of walking around these shops; can we go and get something to eat now? I'm starving."

"Worked up an appetite?" Emily asked, cheekily looking me up and down.

"Too much walking," I said pulling her out into the mall and continuing our stroll past the shops, shops that contained goods that we probably couldn't afford to buy and didn't have space in our backpacks for even if we could. I ignored the tug on my arm simply smiling as I led her away; I had worked up an appetite, a pretty good one as well…we'd missed lunch altogether today

o+o+o

"Having fun babe," Ems asked as we made our way up to one of the many places to eat that we'd seen; a big, flash looking Japanese restaurant next to a chocolate shop that Ems seemed far more interested in.

"Actually , I really am." I said as we swung our joined hands like a couple of school kids. "Best not-birthday ever!"

It was as well, what was there to spoil it? No family, no freaks, no friends and no Katie fucking Fitch to bitch at me as she had for the last couple of years; unwittingly contributing to my hatred of the day. I was spending the day with my love and so far it had been pretty much perfect.

We had to queue to get into the restaurant, but not for every long; and with my stomach grumbling at the wonderful smells that pervaded the restaurant, we were seated at a small table out of the way of the hustle and bustle of the main area.

Emily asked for a bottle of wine to be brought to the table and then vanished behind the menu. Literally vanished that is, the huge colourful menu dwarfing her as she rested it on the table. I got a wry smile when I laughed at the sight, Emily's face peeking round the edge.

"Shush you, it's not even funny," she said sticking her tongue out at me.

"Oh it so is Ems," I told her, nodding and squeezing my lips together to stop the laughs coming through. "really it is."

Pick your food Naomi Campbell, and stop picking on me," she replied grinning and ducking back behind the oversized menu. Order whatever you want birthday girl, this is my treat remember."

"I don't really want to eat too much hun," I told her; "not if we're going clubbing later, I'll probably be sick."

"You eat whatever you like babe, it's still really early. I thought we could go for a nice romantic stroll along the waterfront before we hit the club; you know, work off dinner? Now, I think I'll start with the…"

I lost focus as she talked about the different dishes she was planning on eating, listening only to the sound of her voice, not the things she was saying. I loved that voice, loved that I was hearing it at its best, tinged with enthusiasm and affection; love and joy. Bristol seemed so far away right now, and the year of pain that we'd had seemed so long ago; a distant memory of a terrible time.

I felt a faint tear touch the corner of my eye as she talked, and talked and talked; a tear that I blinked away quickly. Not a tear of pain or misery, but of sheer happiness. It was my birthday and I was actually happy, how weird was that?

"So, you decided then babes?" Emily said, dragging me out of my lollygagging, causing me to put down my menu.

"I think I'll get the hot and sour soup and the Moonlight special," I said, picking the first things I saw on the menu."

"and for dessert?"

"No dessert Ems," I said after searching the menu and finding nothing that interested me, but having a much better idea instead. "I think we should go next door, you seemed _very_ interested in those cakes."

"You wanted to eat here Naoms" she said smiling happily at me, her menu forgotten. "It's your birthday, not mine. Pick a dessert!"

"I have , and I want a dessert next door, with you. Actually what I really want is to see you smile like that all night; that would be the best birthday present ever."

"Well," Emily said, her smile reaching her glorious eyes, filling my heart with pleasure. "If it will make you happy we can have dessert next door."

"Good."

Sooner than I wanted the waitress was back to pour the wine and take our orders; Emily taking the initiative and ordering for the both of us. When, finally the waitress left with a cheery grin, Emily lifted her glass and raised it to me, reminding me of her birthday when she nabbed the opportunity to raise a toast before I could.

"I know you don't really want to make a fuss babe, but I can't let this go without saying something. Happy birthday Naomi," she said simply. "I love you, more than I can tell you."

"Thanks Ems," I said lifting my glass and clinking it to hers. "I love you too, thanks for making my 'not-birthday' special."

"Well I've got a long way to go to beat what you did for mine babe," she said as we took sips from the, surprisingly good house white. "But I did get you this..."

Emily slid a neatly wrapped package across the table towards me and sat back watching me carefully.

"Ems, I thought we agreed no presents," I said softly, picking up the package with yet another pathetic, wussy, tear in my eye. "I told you I didn't want you to get me anything."

"Yeah, well if I'd listened to _everything_ you told me babe we'd _never_ have got together in the first place, or back together again for that matter. Look, please don't freak out honey, you got me so many nice things for my birthday and I wanted to do a little something for you. It's not a lot, but it's meant with love."

Carefully I peeled off the wrapping paper, fuck knows where she had got it from, or indeed when; but carefully wrapped it was, neat corners and everything. It was only a small box and when I lifted the lid there was a neatly folded piece of paper resting on the thin paper that lined the box.

I lifted the paper out of the box and unfolded it, feeling Emily's eyes upon me. It was covered in her handwriting and obviously addressed to me. I looked up at her, smiling as she took a drink, trying to hide the fact that she was watching my every move.

"Note or box?" I asked, grinning at her blush.

"Doesn't matter, it's your present Naoms; open it how you want."

I took a sip of my wine and unfolded the letter, holding it in one hand to read it. Emily's handwriting was just like her, neat, tiny and curvy. I couldn't help but think back to the last time I held a note from her, lying in the spare room at mum's, well actually Keiran's flat. The writing was the same, the sentiment was the same too; it was a not written, as she had said, meant with love.

'_Naomi,_

_Naomi, Naomi, Naomi….God I love writing your name, I spent a long time writing it you know? My old diaries are filled with it. Page after page after page of your name and mine, my dreams that we could be together all written down and surrounded with love hearts. I had to find all sorts of ways to hide them away, just in case Katie found them; but I couldn't stop doing it, it was a way to while away the hours in my room when I had nothing to do but think about you._

_Anyway, you're good with speeches and I'm good with writing, or at least I think I'm good with writing; I've had some successes recently with my notes anyway, so here's something else for you to ponder. Forgive me if it looks like I'm stealing your ideas with a note on a birthday, but I wanted a chance to tell you all of this…'_

I looked up at her, our eyes meeting across that tiny table.

"Go on," she said smiling at gesturing at the note in my hand, "don't spoil it, keep going."

I stuck my tongue out at her and finished my drink, noticing absently as she reached for the bottle to refill our glasses as I dived back into her letter.

'…_I wanted a chance to tell you how much this trip is meaning to me, how much I love everything, from posh hotels to shitty trains, from loving to fighting it's been fantastic, well not the fighting but what came afterwards. It's been a fantastic experience so far and I know it's going to get better, in good times and bad._

_I'm glad you gave me the chance to share your birthday with you properly this year, we're going to have a fantastic time together today, and every year from now onwards. One day I hope to give you a birthday that was as good as my you gave me._

_I feel that I should write for hours about all this, about how much you mean to me, but I'd rather use my time to tell you, show you. So I'll sign off with this, Happy Birthday Naomi Campbell, I hope we make it the best one you've ever had; I love you so much._

_Always and forever_

_Emily'_

Her signoff was enclosed in a thick heart, drawn with a practiced hand and lightly shaded to give it a three dimensional feel. I folded the note and tucked it inside my purse, keeping it there for safety. With a smile on my lips I peeled apart the paper that was covering whatever Emily had bought me; inside was a small leather bracelet with a metal disc woven into the centre.

"It's lovely," I said lifting the plaited leather out of the box and holding it up for closer inspection. "When did you get this you sneaky sod?"

"Kolkata, when you were haggling with that guy in the market for that shirt you wanted, I saw it on another stall and bought it."

"I didn't even notice you'd gone," I said guiltily looking closely at the enamelled symbol that was carved into the metal. "What does it mean?"

"It's Sanskrit, it means 'forever' apparently, so the woman that sold it to me said. It's not much, but I thought…"

Her voice tailed off in that way I knew it did when she was feeling embarrassed, I looked up to see her looking over my shoulder and out over the restaurant.

"Ems…"

"I mean it's not exactly gold, or diamonds or anything like that, it didn't even cost me that much…and I keep feeling that I should have got you something better, but you know…"

"Ems..." I said hoping to interrupt her, though she pressed on in her ramble regardless.

"…then I kept thinking that we've got a long way to go, and that I wanted a chance to treat you as well when we got here and that you might like…"

"Emily Fitch, I said, slipping off my shoe and running my bare foot up her leg; it had the desired effect as her eyes were drawn back to me, her look questioning.

"It's perfect, I love it, thank you," I said with a smile, holding it out for her to slip it round my wrist.

"I nearly didn't give it to you," she said as she clipped the clasp firmly into place. "I was talking to Effy in Goa and she was telling me that Katie got her a fancy friendship bracelet when they moved in. I'd forgotten all about it, and when I saw that I had to buy it, it was only later when we were talking about them that…"

"You realised that you were copying your sister eh Ems?" I said teasingly. Her face fell a little at my comment and I reached out and took her hand.

"It's still perfect Ems, it's perfect because you bought it for me, perfect because you thought of me. No-one ever really thinks of me, not like that anyway. It's probably my own stupid fault for pushing people away, but that's in the past now; and I guess I have you to thank for that too."

Ems blushed as I rubbed my thumb over her hand, drawing a disapproving look from the family at the next table. With a smile we sat back and Emily raised her glass.

"Happy Birthday Naomi, love you."

I clinked my glass to hers, "thanks hun, love you too."

The evening kind of went downhill from there…in a good way.

o+o+o

After stuffing ourselves on the commercialised Asian food, food that wasn't a patch on the authentic foods we'd eaten on our travels so far, we headed next door into the chocolate shop Emily had drooled over, eating a dessert that could well have been stolen from the kitchens of Mount Olympus itself.

"God this is good, "Ems announced as she scooped up another piece of the chocolate cake with her plastic spoon, "I could eat the whole of that cake."

She placed the spoon into her mouth and withdrew it, sans cake, her eyes closing in pleasure. I loved the fact that she was enjoying herself, it actually meant more to me than anything else. I had said that all I wanted to see was the smile on Emily's face for my birthday and I'd not been lying; watching her savour the chocolate cake was wonderful to behold, and it made me happy to see it.

"You done hun?" I asked her as she scraped her finger across the plate scooping up the flakes of chocolate before licking it clean.

"Mmmm," she said looking up and winking at me. "I am now."

"So Ems, you mentioned something about a walk and then an evening in a club?"

"Not just a club Naoms, a fucking collection of them, tonight is going to be awesome; we can just let loose and have fun."

Her face lit up as she told me of her plans, and I couldn't help but get caught up in her enthusiasm as she told me of the clubs that were but a short walk away. It was still early though, the shops were closing and we had plenty of time to kill before the night ensued.

As we walked, randomly, along the waterfront outside the Vivocity centre I was filled with a wonderful sense of calm. I was buzzing slightly from the alcohol and from the closeness I felt to the girl by my side. I didn't need to go clubbing, I'd have happily walked back to the hotel with Emily, but I have to admit the thought was enticing. We hadn't been dancing since Goa; since I sneaked her out of the hotel to kill time so I could bring in her birthday with presents, flowers and a call from her sister at midnight. I don't mind admitting that the idea of Emily gyrating away , her hips making their own music as she gave herself totally to the sound, was more than enticing.

"Naoms?"

"Yes?"

"Have you been listening to a word I've been saying?"

I looked across at her amused face; I guess I'd been caught 'away with the fairy's' thinking about her far too much. My guilty look quite obviously gave me away.

"What you thinking of baby?"

There was a pause then she laughed at me, the sound lifting my spirits as we walked, the breeze off the water a welcome relief to the humidity.

"Come on birthday girl," she said laughing still. "Spill, what's going through that mind of yours?"

I paused on the seafront and, quite deliberately, looked her up and down, licking my lips as I did so."

"Perv," she said sweeping me up in her arms, "told you, there's plenty of time for that later."

"I wasn't thinking of that," I said truthfully, "I was thinking about you dancing if you must know. It's kind of distracting."

"Distracting?" she said, still laughing at me.

"Very," I replied hugging her back. "You're totally hot when you let yourself go like that, and I look forward to being distracted all night."

"Really?" she replied with a pleased smile. "I'll see what I can do."

o+o+o

_Emily_

So much dancing, there had been so much dancing. I do remember that. The club had been quiet when we got in, but it didn't take long for the bass to start pumping and the place to start thumping.

For all Naomi's comments about liking me dancing, she's pretty hot herself when _she_ lets go; and she doesn't do that enough for my liking, not anymore anyway. There's always a quiet reticence to Naomi these days, like she wants to get totally pissed, but she won't let herself do it. I know where it comes from, all those weeks and months where I had shoved her head into a bottle and practically forced her to drink. I loved it back then, it made me feel like I had even more power over her, I don't love it now.

In fact I hate it.

I hate the fact that my actions back then could have made her so paranoid that she doesn't want to have fun anymore, so worried that she will only drink when I'm with her to make it ok. I hate it but I understand it, I understand it all too well. I spent as much time getting wasted as she did, and for much the same reason…pain.

"Don't think, it makes life much easier," I'd once said to my disgusted looking sister. I guess we were both once lost in that truth; but not any more, no longer did we need to hide behind drugs and drink, now we could just use them to have fun, like everyone else.

"Drink babe?" I asked as we stood by the bar waiting for the place to place to pick up. "A proper one this time?" She eyed me thoughtfully, as I stared back at her, before smiling.

"Yeah, why not, can't hurt can it?"

"Not at all," I said leaning in closer and putting my lips close to her ear. "Want to get fucked up babe? Totally go for it?"

"I don't know Ems," she started to say, her resistance almost instinctive now.

"I do," I reassured her. "We need a blow out babe; in fact I think we deserve one. Besides, it's your birthday, if you can't let go then when can you?"

Naomi looked at me as I ordered our drinks in trepidation, still doubting herself, even after all this time. I smiled as I handed her the bottle of imported lager along with one of the shots that I'd ordered and gave her a wink.

"You sure this is wise Ems?" she said, taking the drinks in each hand.

"Trust me babes," I said raising my shot glass to her, "it's a fantastic idea!"

We clinked the shot glasses together and, with a flourish, we both threw back our drinks in one gulp and then downed our beers simultaneously; tipping back the bottles until they were empty.

"Same again Ems?" my girl said grinning as we clinked out empty bottles together.

"Why the fuck not Naoms? Why the fuck not?"

o+o+o

The correct term, I believe, for what happened next is 'messy', or at least that's how it seemed to me. More shots were ordered and consumed, more beers were ordered and consumed along with them before going off to dance again. We were a long way towards being well and truly wasted when Naomi's survival instinct seemed to kick in and she ordered two bottles of water from the bar and dragged me back out onto the nearest dance floor.

Well I say dragged me out, I'm not sure anyone else would have called the cry of, _'dance with meeeeee Emilyeeeeeeee'_ from an inebriated blonde, as dragging me into anything; especially as I wasn't exactly protesting as she led me away.

The dance floor was heaving as we weaved through the crowds, looking for a bit of space for ourselves, I had a massive grin on my face as Naomi made her way in front of me, arms raised above her head, a thin sheen of sweat on the skin I could see. As she turned around, allowing the music to control her movements, I could see her eyes shining with pleasure in the strobe lighting.

"Having fun Naoms?" I shouted as she grinned at me, dancing as if her life depended on it.

"What?" she yelled back, leading towards me trying to drown out the sound of the music.

"I said, are you having fun?" I yelled back, my lips pressed against her ear. She didn't answer, just leant back and nodded, giving me the thumbs up. I couldn't help but lick my lips as she tilted her neck back and took a long swig from her bottle, I'm sure it's almost pavlovian now. If we were at home I'd probably have pounced on her, the opportunity being too good to miss. Unfortunately as we were in a foreign land, with different attitudes, I knew I had to hold back; it was almost too much to bear. She looked so beautiful as the water tickled from the corner of her mouth and down her shining skin. Each movement of her throat was caught in the stop frame of the strobe lighting and I was forced to take a long drink from my own bottle to stop myself staring.

We danced for hours; breaking only for more drinks, and the occasional shared moment in a quiet corner when we took a break for a cool down; followed by a few more drinks. As midnight approached I had to admit to feeling more than a little bit jaded; the booze finally taking effect on my ravaged body, all the time vomiting on our 'romantic' cruise doing me no favours at all.

To my relief, as we made our way off the dance floor once more, Naomi started to yawn as well; I know her well enough to recognise that pretty much signifies the end of the night as far as she's concerned. My head was spinning and I was finding it increasingly difficult to speak coherently as tiredness and drunkenness took over me.

"I'm going for a pee babes," I shouted as Naomi slumped down onto one of the benches, "be right back."

"OK hun, I think I'm just going to collapse here ok?" she slurred stretching her arms along the back of the bench, getting an aggrieved stare from a couple that were using the corner to make out, as she accidentally brushed the blokes hair.

The bathroom was heaving as usual, but after a short wait in the queue I managed to claim a cubicle. The best thing by far about this club was that the toilets were clean, and they provided a welcome bit of peace from the thumping of the main room; the muffled sound barely audible through the walls. All around me was the familiar chatter of women, giggling excitedly at their drunken conversations. It was all so similar to Bristol, only the language and the faces were different.

For a second I felt terribly homesick, wanting noting more for the two of us to be at home with Katie and Effy; out on the town and looking out for the rest of the gang, even though I knew that none of them were there any more. JJ was off at Uni, Panda and Thomas were in the US and of course Cook was locked away for the foreseeable future.

Right then I wanted nothing more than to walk out of that bathroom and find myself in Ritzy's or the Caves; somewhere I could grab Naomi and head back to our little home, where we could curl up on our sofa and watch the shopping channels until we sobered up. It was a nice fantasy, but not one that was going to come true; not today anyway, and I really shouldn't be complaining. I mean, how many people get to do this?

"Ems?" I heard Naomi call from outside, worry leaching into the drunken sound of her voice. "Ems you in here?"

"Yeah," I slurred back, standing uncertainly, sorting myself out, leaning against the cubical wall before flushing the toilet. "I'm here."

"You ok hun?" she said as I fell headlong against the door, the impact making a loud thump as I fumbled for the latch.

"I'm fine," I said finally opening the door and wandered out into the bathroom to the amused glanced from the patrons. "Just a little bit drunk that's all."

"Me too," she said, leaning against the wall as I washed my hands, "but I have more drinks, yay!"

I grinned at her as she excitedly held up two bottles of something blue coloured; some kind of fruit flavoured alcopop. We were both pretty hammered, but there's always room for one more drink; and I took a long, grateful, swig as we walked out into the noise.

"You want to get out of here?" Naomi shouted as we danced our way across the floor; my surreptitious yawn, obviously not as cleverly disguised as I thought. I got a tired looking smile at my nod and her hand stretched out behind her as she reached for my own. Hand in hand we pushed our way through the throbbing crowds of people and our of the exit, walking past the queues of people waiting to get in.

"Feels like were leaving just as its getting warmed up hun," Naomi said gesturing at the crowds unsteadily; stumbling and grabbing at my arm to stop herself falling.

"You want to go back?" I asked, not in the slightest bit interested in going back myself.

"Nah," she slurred to my relief. "Too crowded and too weird, lets take our drinks and go for a walk."

When we made it outside to the waterfront, she dug around inside her small bag and pulled out a couple more of the bottle filled with the blue liquid that had tasted remarkably good. We weaved our way over to the wall and cracked the tops on a convenient bit of brickwork.

"Nearly tomorrow," Naomi said, gesturing towards a clock on the side of a building.

"Still your birthday though," I replied, squinting at her meaningfully. "Happy Birthday Naomi."

"I think you may have said that to me once or twice," she giggled, the drunkenness making her even more adorable.

"S'true though," she continued waving her drink around dramatically; "it's been a very happy birthday."

I spilt my drink as she reached out an arm and grabbed me and pulled me towards her, drunkenly kissing me passionately. I think we both knew it wasn't a bright idea, but the combination of booze, and the romance of the evening got the better of me at least. Fortunately, when we came up for air there were no crowds of people pointing and gawking at us; if anyone _had_ seen us they obviously didn't care.

"Love you Ems," Naomi said steadying her wobble and placing her hands on my shoulders, the cold bottle causing me to shudder as it touched my back.

"Love you too Naoms, home?"

"Yeah," she said looking around us with unfocused eyes, "let's find a taxi!"

o+o+o

_Naomi - Present_

"_I guess that plan went to shit didn't it? How much do you remember? And what the hell are you doing down there?"_

"I have absolutely no idea," Emily said, her eyes blinking furiously in the morning light, "to either question. I've got absolutely no fucking idea what I'm doing down here."

"Muppet," I said holding out an arm for her to grab and drag herself onto the bed with; hauling her up and then flopping back onto the pillows myself in relief. "How's your head?"

"Tender," she said rubbing her temples before easing herself down and putting her head on my stomach. "Just how much _did_ we have to drink?"

"I have no idea," I replied honestly, "A lot of shots, more than a few bottles of stuff and I seem to remember us having a few when we got back here as well."

"That might explain the pain then," she sniggered and I heard her wince as the movement must have aggravated her sore head. "Fuck that hurts, I think I need coffee, lots and lots of coffee."

"Well get me some when you go," I said, not failing to note that there wasn't any movement at all from her, not unless you count reaching over to stroke my arm.

We lay in silence for a while, each attempting recuperation in our own, personal way until finally Emily shifted gingerly, rolling over to look up at me.

"That was a good night even by our standards," she said grinning at me, her eyes dim with sluggishness.

"Epic," I replied seriously. "A birthday to remember; what I remember of it anyway."

I wasn't even joking, portions of the night were quite a blur, especially the journey from the club to the hotel. I do remember us declaring that we had got a second wind when we got back to the hotel. Continuing the party until the hotel barman refused to serve us any more; and we had staggered, giggling, to our room to collapse on the bed.

"Yeah, one for the scrapbook I think." Emily pushed herself up on her elbows and stared deeply into my eyes, those brown orbs dilated and soft as she blinked at me slowly, sensuously even; using her eyes to tease me as I remembered her doing for what seemed like the whole of my life.

Slowly, she closed her eyes and ran her tongue over her dry lips, sending a pulse of lust through my alcohol numbed brain; then, after a second of pure sexual tension, she opened her eyes and began to speak. That familiar, post session, croaky voice filling my ears; "Is it just me, or are you starving as well? Breakfast?"

I blinked at her as the most innocuous of comments came out of her mouth after that most filthiest of looks; Emily laughing at me in response, knowing exactly what she'd done.

"_I'm_ going to have a shower," I said, easing myself off the bed, feeling every single one of my nineteen years; my body feeling like it had been trampled on by a herd of elephants. "Do you want to join me?" I added, attempting to be sultry myself and failing abysmally.

"It's certainly tempting babe," she said rolling onto her back and staring up at the ceiling. "But I think I'll see if I can order us something to eat first, I wasn't kidding about being hungry; and you know something to eat will help us with these hangovers."

"Fair enough," I said, walking into the bathroom with my 'still slightly drunk' swagger in full effect. "Make sure they bring coffee though, lots and lots and lots of coffee. I think I'm going to need it."

o+o+o

One shower and a good brushing of my teeth later, I was feeling about twenty percent better than I had been feeling, at least the furry feeling on my tongue had gone away. Emily had managed to convince reception to bring up some food even though apparently breakfast had finished its serving, and it wasn't long before there was a knock on the door and the tray arrived, smelling fantastic. By the time I'd wolfed down some eggs and bacon, and poured coffee down my neck, I was almost feeling human; the food assisted by a couple of paracetamol that I'd dug out of our first aid kit.

"So what's the plan for the day then Ems?" I asked as I stretched my legs out across her lap and sipped at, what annoyingly was going to be, my last cup of coffee.

"Well, we were going to visit the zoo yesterday, before we decided to spend the afternoon in bed that was. I think we should do that today, it was on our list."

"Well we'd better get a move on," I said dropping my towel to the floor and preparing to get dressed. "We're wasting daylight."

We bumbled around getting ready, digging through our scattered luggage for clean clothes to pull on. I was sat on the bed reading through a leaflet we'd taken from reception when something brightly coloured landed on the bed.

"Naomi, you've forgotten to open Katie's present," Emily scolded, hopping as she attempted to pull her trousers onto a still damp leg. "I've been carrying it halfway around the world for you as well."

"Bit of an exaggeration hun," I said reaching over and picking up the package, running my thumb under the sticky tape that sealed the end.

"Not by much love, I've carried it all the way from Goa that's a fair distance you know."

I didn't answer, staring at the 'present' that Katie had got for me. There was a note attached to the 'Ann Summers' packaging that just said,

"_I knew it was an idle threat you know. _

_ha ha _

_Katie"_

I pulled off the paper and broke the bright blue 'thing' out of the packaging only to hear Emily laughing as me as I looked at it in disgust.

"I can't believe she bought you that," she said, sitting on the bed, still laughing at my face. "Oh that's priceless, I can't wait to e-mail her about it, she's going to get such a bollocking."

"I can't believe she got the thing through _customs_," I replied, trying to act nonchalant. "I mean I got frisked for having metal fucking earrings, what they would have made of that in the bag I have no idea."

"They probably took one look at the two of them and decided not to ask." Emily said taking it off me and holding it by the belt.

"Ems it looks like a fucking bomb, all fucking batteries and wires, and that…that could have looked like the explosive part."

"Naomi Campbell," Emily said leaning forward to kiss me on the lips. "I do believe you're embarrassed; my sister buys you a lovely, practical present like that and you're making such a fuss. It's the only explanation."

I spluttered my indignation before admitting defeat, she was absolutely right, Katie had indeed managed to embarrass me, and her gentle teasing made me realise that embarrassed was good, it was better than last time anyway.

Her hand came up and stroked my cheek affectionately, "you ok?" she asked, with a hint of concern in her eyes, as if reading my mind. "I mean, you kind of, you know…last time."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, twisting my head to kiss the palm of her hand. "No freak outs today."

"Good!"

With a peck on my cheek Emily got up from the bed; as I shoved the offending item back into its box she pulled her T-Shirt over her head, distinctly ruining my view.

"Besides, I'm sure we can find a use for that later on," she said winking and heading into the bathroom to brush her hair.

"Not a fucking chance," I shouted after her, putting the box into the paper and shoving it into the bin on my side of the bed. Feeling triumphant at that smallest of victories over her sister I walked into the bathroom and slipped my arms around her waist, looking at her reflection in the mirror. "I don't need something like that tonight Ems; tonight, I don't want anything between me and you. Especially not that."

Her brown eyes twinkled happily as she stared back, her head tilted to one side as she pulled through the knots in her hair.

"That, sounds like a very good plan!"

"You know it. Now, can we go to the zoo? I have a desire to yell at your sister."

"Katie?" she said, looking at me questioningly as if I'd gone mad.

"Yeah, she's bound to be there, all zoo's have a monkey house don't they?"

"That's my twin you bitch!" Emily yelled indignantly.

"Yeah, but not your identical twin, and if it helps me tell you apart…"

o+o+o

_Effy - Bristol_

Katie's iPhone chimed the arrival of a new message; almost instantly she paused, halfway through the description of her first day visiting a ward, and started flicking at her screen. I sat back on the bench seat of our new local shaking my head. It was a real fault of hers, being distracted by her phone. Over the last couple of months I'd become sort of used to it, though sometimes I was convinced that she was attention deficient. Only once could I remember her not answering it's ring, and we _were_ rather busy at the time; and on that fateful day I'd been grateful I'd insisted she had.

I distracted myself, from being ignored, by taking a sip from my drink and looking at the television that was stuck on the wall, sports scores rolling past as a man in a tie talked away. It wasn't too long before I lost my 'unconcerned cool' look, the sound of her laughter piquing my interest.

"Go on then Kay, I know you're _dying_ for me to ask. What's so funny?"

With a grin she handed me her phone and I looked down at the email she'd just received.

'_To: headbitchofbristol_

_From: naomiandemilyontour_

_Subject: I can't believe you did that…!_

_I really don't know if it was a joke, or you being a bit cruel Katie; but I'm going to assume you intended it as a joke because you seemed genuine when you gave that present to her. I'm not very happy though, I remember Effy saying she'd warned you; fortunately we both saw the funny side of it, so no harm done…this time. Don't fucking do it again though ok?_

_I'm sure Naomi will think of you every time she uses it though._

_Just think on that one sis._

_Ems'_

"Katie, what the hell have you done now?" I asked despairingly, wondering what damage she'd managed to do from over four thousand miles away.

"Next message," she said simply cackling to herself; and I hit the up button to see a message from Naomi.

'_To: headbitchinbristol_

_From: naomiandemilyontour_

_Subject: Birthday Present!_

_You're dead Fitch, as soon as I get home…you're so fucking dead!_

_N'_

"What did you give her Katie," I asked, remembering the present and the trouble it had so nearly caused. Katie grinned and leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"You didn't!" I said, a little shocked if I'm honest.

"I so did," she declared triumphantly; "another?"

"Oh Katie…"


End file.
